Self-Leadership

Hey yo, what's up? So, um, I'm at home now and I'm actually gonna do the second one. Uh, so just for some context, like I said, I'm gonna be doing these on demand. So I'm gonna be doing Bible studies and a lot of things just kind of in this format, uh, as well as live, man. I believe that we might as well just continue to embrace, you know, the technology we have. So I know it's nothing new, uh, I mean a lot of people do these, you know, on-demand, uh, live Zoom calls, cohorts, webinars, things like that. Uh, but I just wanted to kind of get back to the basics and keeping it simple, but, you know, gear these to more of a kind of bring that agile space into, uh, the ministry and just see how, like, we don't always have to separate, uh, leadership in the marketplace and ministry. Like, they can go together, uh, and contextualize and just be about, you know, God's business. So like I said, sometimes I'll be heavily scripture, uh, you know, biblical content, then sometimes it'd just be, you know, secular-based but heavily influenced by, leadership— I mean, biblical principles. Uh, so nevertheless, like, just bear with me, um, and I think this content will be enjoyable for all, like, especially, you know. And, and then one day I'll take a survey and just kind of keep uploading these to YouTube and, you know, just reach the sphere of influence I'm called to reach. Uh, so that being said, let me, let me share my screen here again. Um, see And, uh, we'll get into it. So let me put this in a play, play pane, and we'll go. All right, so, uh, all of that being said, so one of the first ones I did was like leadership and, and roadmap. So it might be a little bit of some redundant, uh, maybe about 15% of it, but this one is going to be just specific to self-leadership. Uh, nothing else, nothing more. Uh, because I've— I don't want to get ahead of myself, but in order to lead well, we have to be able to lead self. Now, for my super, super spiritual people, uh, that over-spiritualize some things from here and there, I understand that we say, you know, I can't lead myself and all that type of stuff, but self-control, self-discipline, uh, is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. So sometimes I believe that is used out of an excuse because we don't have self-discipline, we don't have self-control, but we have a responsibility to do something. So I believe self-leadership is very appropriate, uh, with— for this context. Uh, like I said, if you can't lead self well, then how in the world, uh, do we expect to lead others well, uh, if we don't hold ourselves to the same standard? Um, so let's jump straight into it. Uh, what is self-leadership? Uh, so I have some points here. So it is the ability to lead yourself to do what you said you were going to do. Uh, If you can't lead, like I said, if you can't lead yourself effectively, uh, you will have a hard time leading others because more is caught than taught. Uh, you kind of heard me say this before. We can lead, we can preach leadership, we can teach leadership, we can say all the right things. I mean, it is, it is very possible just to literally regurgitate with the excess of information we have today. But if you can't demonstrate it, you can't teach it by your actions and the essence and who you are, um, then it's, it's mute, really, to, to be honest, because people are going to be looking at your actions more than you teach. Uh, so that's where that, you know, more is caught than taught, even from, you know, parenting technique. I can sit up here and say, hey, don't do this, do that, do this, do that, the dos and the don'ts, the top 10 things, but my kids are going to pay attention to my behavior. Uh, what do I habitually practice? That's what's truly going to teach them more than what I'm teaching them by mouth. Uh, so I have to demonstrate it. And a lot of times, to be truthful with you, we are really, really good communicators in the context of teaching, uh, but we're not so good in the context of demonstrating consistently. Um, for example, you know, it's easy to— if I say, hey, you know, I want to have some self-control in the areas of— Lord, give me an example. I didn't write anything down other than what you see on the screen. But hey Lord, I want to have some self-control, uh, and how I, um, handle people. Uh, so what happens is, okay, I hear preachers, I hear leadership consultants coming in, and they, and they have all this information, they teach me this and they teach me that, and then it's like, I'm like, hey man, or hey, yeah, I'm taking all of these notes, and then now it's time for me to consistently demonstrate it, and I don't find myself doing it. And I guarantee you, you know, like Yeah, like, let's look at it from a biblical standpoint. Thank you, God. Um, okay, I can say one thing and say, man, I want people to live the word of God, or I want people to live these principles, I want people to get this, I want people to get that. But do you want the same for your life in the context of the areas that you might struggle? Uh, maybe it might be that you're easily distracted, maybe it might be that you, you talk a lot, maybe it might be that you don't talk enough. In context, you don't share your ideas, you're not stepping into it. Uh, maybe it might be the context of the way you handle money, uh, and just so on. So in other words, what I'm saying is that we have to make sure that we can demonstrate, and we can— like, it might not be the same thing because we all have different weaknesses, but are we putting that much, like, thought and that much self-discipline into the weaknesses we have? Because it's easier to, uh, judge people by what we see, but hold ourselves accountable by our intentions, uh, when it comes to our leadership. Uh, so last one is closely related to self-control, self-discipline. Truthfully, uh, I don't know if I read this or heard it from someone or a mentor or podcast, but, um, self-leadership is just more of a, a, a pretty phrase for self-control and self-discipline. Because self-control, self-discipline, people didn't really like that term. Uh, how ironic, because it's like skipped over a lot in the Bible. We focus on a whole lot of you know, the plurality of the fruit of the Spirit. Uh, but when it comes to that self-control, self-discipline part, man, like, it's difficult. Uh, so it's really closely related, if not the same, which is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. It leads to a more mature behavior. Uh, you know, you see this a lot of times when people are teaching, they're preaching uh, people prophesying through words of knowledge, uh, people sharing content. They're compelled to do something that's deep in their spirit, and a lot of times they confuse that with, I believe it's the Holy Spirit, where truly self-control should have just been demonstrated in that context. Um, is it that it's, it's because what's in us, you know, it's going to come out. So we really have no self-control in our teaching, in the way we lead, in the way we counsel with people, in the way we develop and coach people, uh, in the way we ask questions, in the way we engage in conflict or healthy conflict, uh, sometimes we feel the unction and we're compelled to do something that's self-control and self-discipline and say, I understand you feel that and it resonates strongly with you, but you don't share this, or you don't teach it that way, or you don't say it that way. That is self-control and self-discipline. And that's why we have so much stuff that's said. That's why we have so much time. Matter of fact, I was just listening to Minister Jefferson where he was, uh, he preached last Sunday they got Pastor Pratt to allow him that opportunity, uh, at World Child Ministries. But it was like he was talking about, uh, some stuff I just don't say, some stuff I just don't share. Uh, he could be deeply compelled to want to share those things, whether it be for whatever reason, but he's like, hey, I'm not going to do it because wisdom, you know, I'm not— that's self-control, that's self-discipline. Like, as much as I'm compelled and I want to, I'm going to regulate that. Uh, and it is through the power of the Holy Spirit, but we have to do something too. Uh, So I think it's very appropriate, what I'm trying to say. I know I'm kind of on this one a long time, but that's like I say in anything, hey, I can really want this, uh, but I'm going to delay gratification because I need to have self-control. I'm not going to order that, uh, because I want to do things from a place of an abundance. I have to have self-control and self-discipline, uh, to get there, and we have to mature in that. So that is a big part of, uh, self-leadership. So one slide that I want to throw in here Uh, when we're talking about self-leadership, and I know I hit on this and some more content, probably a lot, because I think I have one actually dealing with just submission alone from a while ago, uh, but we have to be willing to learn followership. Uh, that's truthfully how we learn how to have self-discipline and regulate. Uh, like I said, I just, you know, I was going through a personal trainer and working out, and I had to be willing— all the studying I did, all the information I had out there I was like, when I got with him and submitted to his teaching, it helped compound from form to how I work out to the eating, the habits. And now actually it seemed like people have seen more results in that 8 weeks that I have spent with him versus me trying to work out, you know, in like years and inconsistency. Because truly I was consistent at being inconsistent. Like, that's the thing, you can be consistent at being inconsistent. Uh, and a lot of times that just comes from, uh, self-awareness, self-leadership, you know, self-control. But it— one of the things I have seen just through my observations and studies and living is that it's because people don't learn followership. Uh, we have a lot of leadership conferences out there, but not too much on just how to properly follow. And truthfully, I believe we kind of over-glorify leadership a little bit, uh, and we— and we undersell the importance of followership, being submissive, and things like that, of that nature. So you see Uh, one quote, I forgot where I read it, I forgot who said it, but civil— civilization is always in danger when those who have never led learn. Uh, let me tell them, civilization is always in danger when those who have never learned to obey given the right to command. So in other words, um, if you have never learned to be submissive or obey someone else's authority within context, like long as it doesn't contradict the Bible, and things like that, uh, when you have not learned that, it is very hard. It is very hard to require that from someone else because you have not become what you have asked for, in other words. So only a leader who has followed well knows how to lead well. You, you— we have to be willing to come to subjective to other people. We have to. I mean, this, this is biblical. If you get into the elders with church and, you know, board of elders and things. Like, what happens if a pastor is not account— yeah, I know it's easy to say, well, I'm accountable to God, but God works through people. What if you are tripping, you become a tyrant, or, and so on, and then that pastor doesn't have to answer to anybody because it's like, well, God is working on him, but because he doesn't have that horizontal relationship thing. And so I'm not running and dictating to the pastor, but saying, hey, let me speak into your life. I, I think you need to address this. I think you need to work on that. Uh, that, that— I believe that's biblical. I mean, we can, we can get in it with the plurality of elders and how that should be set up, and, and that's a spirit-led thing. But what I'm trying to say is like, everybody should be accountable to someone, because now when that pastor or another leader holds someone accountable, um, it's like, hey, I'm accountable to someone, so I'm not asking for nothing that I'm not doing myself. I'm not. So I believe that you should follow well, uh, and this is going to help you lead well, uh, like I say. But definitely some gray area there. But, you know, just pray and ask God for direction in it, uh, you know, in certain contexts. Because I will say, err on the side of caution, that sometimes I believe, you know, if not careful, um, boards and things like that, you know, whatever, can run the ministry more than God can. So just be careful with that. I'll leave it there, leave it there. Uh, so everyone should be accountable to someone or something. No mentors and coaches. So sometimes that might just be a pastor consistently speaking into your life. Maybe it's not a, you know, a board in the context of Board of Elders, but you have a check-in and someone that's observing you. They're kind of getting feedback, they're talking to you, and they're speaking into your life at least once a month. And if not that, get a mentor or get a leadership coach. Uh, so like I said, if you're a pastor or whatever, you know, but if, uh, you're a leader under the, uh, direction of an under-shepherd or something like that, just get a leadership coach or get a mentor. Find someone that's a few chapters ahead of you in the book. That's what I got that from my therapist, you know. Sometimes we like to always go to the end of the book, but just find someone that's a few chapters ahead of you and then submit up under them. Uh, and, and like I say, it's not one size fits all. Like, yes, we have the Holy Spirit But, you know, I, I tell people all the time, the Holy Spirit is all-knowing. I'm not. The Holy Spirit is all-knowing. It is nobody on that walks this earth— there was only one person and one person only, his name is Jesus, uh, that walked this earth that was also all-knowing, uh, in, in the context of scripture. Now, you know, we— I know we could get into a thing of, you know, him and his divine nature and some things he chose not— chose not to know, but nevertheless, he was God in the flesh. You know, I'm not— this, this is not the topic for that. Uh, so that being said, other than that, yes, the Holy Spirit is all-knowing, but we are not. It will be hard for me, no matter how much I read my Bible, to counsel someone or coach someone in an area that— and I think I've said this before— sometimes I have to call in other coaches. But it will be hard for me to teach someone something that I have not yet lived, or I have not yet experienced or demonstrated, although it might be biblical principles. But I can only speak to them from that biblical principle in a theoretical standpoint and what God reveals to me through that passage. But I can't speak to them through what God has revealed to me through that passage in addition to me living out that passage or that, that scripture in the context of my life. When, like, when God pairs my life with the scriptures I can't speak from it. So it's very mindful to be, uh, be cognitive of that when we're, when we're thinking about followership and, and people to, uh— I have a whole podcast on this, so, so I will move along. Uh, so why is self-leadership important? Well, it's taking responsibility for your growth. Uh, like I said, more is caught than taught. You've seen that. And you will be a lead or a cover to your team So all of that is essentially saying— John C. Maxwell does this perfectly— if you have someone that potentially is trying to go here, oh no, no, that's it, like here, but your lid as a leader is here, let me see my name, you're— that person is hidden. You're capping those people out. Sometimes it's not always the team that we have been given but it's our lack of leadership because we have become a lid instead of a cover, or our lid is too low. Uh, it's almost like, you know how you put a lid over a pot and it's perfect for it so everything comes up? But think about taking an undersized, um, lid and like putting it in there where it fits in the pot and it touches the bottom, or you can kind of play with it all the way so it can kind of come up the top, something like that. Well, if that's not where it needs to be, like the proper lid for that pot, then you are literally, you are literally like keeping people lower than what they could be. And it all comes down to your leadership. Uh, John C. Maxwell says everything falls and rises on leadership. And I, and I, I, at first I used to be argumentative with that quote, but as I kept living and getting into more senior leadership positions and just leadership positions in general, I have found it to be true that everything rises and falls on leadership. Uh, and we have to be committed to it. Uh, and that starts with self-leadership. Uh, and you've heard me say this, I think, on some other ones, but there is no value in learning well if you neglect to do well. So once again, a little bit of redundancy there on, on the last presentation I did, but if we don't do, if we don't apply, not just parts of it that we like and parts that are easy for us to apply, but we don't apply those very, very hard parts. Those areas where we been struggling with it for 3, 4, 5, 6 years, if we don't apply it, then I mean, it is really self-sabotage at that point. And that's where self-awareness and self-leadership, self-discipline, self-control really has to take, for lack of better terms, the driver's seat in our life. So that's why it's very important when it comes to self-leadership. Next slide. So I think I kind of hit on this at the end of it, but I want you to just take some time to reflect and determine where you really are as a leader. Like, where, where are you really on the scale of 1 to 10? Or if you wrote down a quadrant or whatever and start listing your abilities and, you know, whatever your weaknesses are, and you just really took time to do that, then you got with maybe someone, the closest person to you, and then you had that conversation. And remember, it's going to be hard for them to tell you something that might hurt you. So be gracious and, you know, don't let this turn into an argument or nitpicking, but just truly hear it and then ask God and pray and say, man, you know, okay, I love these strengths, but this is where I'm weak at. Uh, and but at the same time, don't be prisoner of the moment because, like, prime example, what tend to happen when we do these reflections is people sit up and they will have 95% things great that were said about them in their review, but the 5% hunts them. But a lot of times they already knew about that 5%. And sometimes, like I said, it's semantics and things like that, you know, people want you to be more like them. So you have to be careful. It's this gray area. That's why I say pray and ask the Holy Spirit. But sometimes there's some truth in there with an area that we know and we're just hoping people don't see it. When truthfully, uh, they do. I mean, especially people that have a high level of self-awareness and watch and listen, uh, they, they see a lot. Uh, so after that, then start to ask yourself, to truly check in, would it be consistent if I did a private, uh, 360 assessment about you from others? You know, what is the gap in between what you believe and, they— what they truly see. Like, for example, you know, I see people that teach on confidence and leadership, all to turn around and see how they're driven by insecurities. Uh, I see people that, you know, talk about how, uh, they, they lead well, and I've been one of those people, uh, how they are, you know, have very healthy conflict but then highly defensive, uh, with like— it's like they can't do any wrong. It's insecurities just, just keep speaking and speaking and speaking. So, um, depending on my relational, uh, relational intelligence with that person, or I should say like where I'm at relational with them in the context of like, you know, do I really know them, uh, have I spent time cultivating a relationship in order to share this hard truth Now they just bring me on as a coach. Hey, it is what it is. Like, I'm just giving you an assessment. But from a mentor standpoint, um, or, you know, just a friend or whatever, um, it just depends, you know. Like, I'm really assessing there because I know that a lot of people can't, can't take, um, hard truths. Like, seriously, they can't. And then on top of that, you know, like, I'm working, I'm praying, I'm assessing. Lord, help me deliver this in one of the most gracious ways I can, uh, where my delivery doesn't get in front of, uh, get in front of it where, you know, it, it makes it, uh, it's just a rough, rough— it's a rough delivery. So, you know, it's like now it becomes more defensive. One of my therapists— no, might not one of, but my therapist told me, you know, like he said, man, when you're, when you're parenting kids and you— they do something or whatever and you have to address it and confront it, always try to make sure that you don't put yourself in a situation that you have to apologize for your behavior if they don't respond the way you think they should. In other words, keep it focused on them, not where they can turn around and say, hey, see how you're acting? Because it loses its meaning, it loses its substance, because the takeaway from it is like, hey, you started acting like the very thing that you told me not to act like. Don't lose your cool. Um, and so that's just, just something to think about, uh, in that context. Uh, and then like I say, I know I said this before, but it's always your responsibility regardless if it's your fault. Always, always as a leader, when things go wrong, take the blame. Work on it in-house. You know, I had to learn that, man. I'm not gonna lie to you, I used to get upset and drove and like, well, it's not my fault, I didn't do this or that. And I would come in early on with a list of people and like, they did this, they didn't do that. And, you know, one of my mentors, thank God for him, he told me early, he's like, listen, no one, no one is going to want to follow you or be up under the direction of your leadership if you keep operating like this. You always share the credit. You see it in basketball, you see it in, uh, football for sure. The quarterback always take the blame, but, um, oh, but be willing to always share the credit. Never get up there and say, I led this, I did this. Just always put it back on the team. Uh, and I know a lot of people do this because it's the right, and, you know, and whatever. But no, truthfully, it's the right way to be. And if you become this, man, and you lead well, of course, you know what, a lot of the things we're gonna— people will be flocking to follow you because it's an authentic— authentic— oh, I can't even get that word out— the authenticity, uh, it's authentic, you know, it's authentic leadership. That word almost had me in a chokehold. So, so, um, you know, it's authentic leadership, uh, and it's a balance of transparency So always be willing to, uh, like I say, take the responsibility, you know, regardless if it's your fault. Um, so like I say, you know, uh, you can go to www.timothyprattjr.org for more leadership stuff. Uh, but like I said, man, it is just about having a level of self-control, knowing that people are not just looking at the pastor or the top senior leaders in the secular, whatever, but they are looking at you when you are a leader in any dynamic, any dynamic. I always say this: you champion in public and you challenge in private. Now, there is a time where you have to call things out, but for the most part, the more sensitive the information is, like, you know, unless this person is just blatantly doing stuff crazy, you know, but there's a thing called situational leadership. Oh man, I've been in too many meetings today, but, uh, situational leadership And as a leader, with me, I'm always trying to analyze in real time. It's not to the point where I tried anymore, it's just like I've read and practiced this so much, and through the power of God and submission, like, I don't see everything, I don't catch everything, but I'm always saying, okay, this is the problem, this is the principle, this is how I should respond, but what is the situation, what is the context? And coming up with this in real time because this is something that I practice every, like, every day. And so it's like, I, I sometimes I have to— hey, self-control, self-awareness, self-leadership. Let me— like, yes, this is the right thing to do, uh, but I can be wrong at the same time. In other words, have you ever heard the statement saying you can be right and wrong? Uh, you can be right in what you said but wrong how you said it, because tone and all of that's the elements that matter. So that's what I'm trying to say here, is that that comes from self-leadership, self-awareness, self-control, self-discipline. You're a lot of self words, and that's a good self, um, in the context, even though just consistent with scripture in my mind. So as a leader, you know, ask yourself, you know, am I, am I, do I have a high degree of self-leadership? You know, uh, do I take things on and try to figure things out, or do I just always raise my hand and I'm always, you know, taking, uh, my trash and dumping off on my leader's desk? Uh, am I always taking my mucky and leaving it on their desk? And you're where, you know, the leaders that I'm accountable to, uh, I have turned their job into a zookeeper or, um, uh, a waste management, you know. Do I like— just, just think about it in that context because truly like some of our leadership is like that, you know. Uh, am I a burden? Am I in the way of progress? Like, have I done everything possible, um, in the context before I say, hey, I don't know because a lot of times we haven't as leaders. There's always a solution, um, what I have come to find out about leadership. So I don't want to keep rambling there, but just make sure that, you know, you are taking some time, uh, to practice self-leadership, that you are— have the necessary self-discipline to be the best leader you can be, the best leader you can be of yourself, making sure that it's consistent with what you said you were going to do. And what you're trying to do for the ministry and the organization. Most importantly, you know, what you are living out, you know, for, for God. Uh, but Paul, you know, he gets into this in Corinthians, man, about the training of an athlete and things like that, meaning that there's work that we have to do. There are decisions I have to make before I, you know, uh, step into the light of this leadership, for lack of better terms. So just make sure that you are leading yourself well before you take on any initiative to lead someone else. Well,