Expose Your Vulnerability and Hack the Matrix Reality Transurfing

¡Hola, Transurfer! My name is Renee Garcia, guys, and this video is going to— look a little bit different than they normally do. I am going to film the whole video with my face right up in front of the camera, as part of my anomalous action for the day, and speak on something that I feel has really transformed me and my layer of reality, in the last, I would say, probably about the last year, maybe a little bit longer. And this is the topic of vulnerability. I'm gonna ask you, Abdigofor, who's editing this video, to please not cut anything out, and don't snip any parts if I mess up. Just let this run organically. I'm gonna do one take on this, And whatever happens, happens. So, I'm just gonna turn around briefly when I want to look at some of the points that I would like to consider while giving this video, because this is a topic that— Sorry, I'm just a little bit nervous. Okay. This is a topic that I'm still working through a lot. This is— probably one of the biggest topics and ideas for me to overcome emotionally. I'm not gonna go through any of the intro crap that I typically do. I'm just gonna go right into the video, and I'll answer all questions, if anybody has any questions, in the comments below. But— I have notoriously been a pretty guarded person in my life. As many of you may know, I grew up— and I'm sorry, like, I'm really going to just throw a bunch of stuff out there, and it's almost gonna be like a stream of consciousness sort of thing, so if I have some— cathartic release. I'm just gonna let it roll. And I might start crying. I don't know what's gonna happen. But let's just see. Let's just see how it goes. Okay. So, I don't know when it started, really. I felt really bad about myself as a child. And I was a pretty quiet kid. I was a really thoughtful and considerate young child. I remember being very loving. I remember being very thoughtful and very engaged, even though I was a little bit of a loner. But then, at a certain point, I really started to shut the doors, close everything up, because I was injured, like pretty injured by my reality, my family, the world, right? And I think this has happened to a lot of us in our lives, and it's just now starting to come to light. Of the destructive nature, the destructive— the ways in which this destroys our reality, keeping ourselves closed and keeping ourselves guarded, not being willing to— transcend that threshold of vulnerability, for whatever reason. I'm 42. I just turned 42. And I'm just now starting to understand the value in giving it up. You know, giving it up. And I would like to first— I know this is gonna sound a little bit, I don't know, Silly, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Lately, there have been a lot of haters on Transurfing TV, because I've been saying some stuff and calling things out. And I totally get, like, you're defending what you believe in, or who you believe in, or the fact that I now speak out a little bit against even the author of Transurfing, the book that I'm— you know, continuing to represent for and promote. And some of you are like, "Oh my God! You stabbed him in the back, and you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," and all this stuff. And there's a lot of this on this channel, right? But this thing, haters saying stuff to me, naysayers, people that are taking a side and coming at me with some sort of criticism, I just wanna say this has— helped me so much in this endeavor to drop some of the caring, right? Caring what other people think. I am, for the first time in my life, beginning to understand that You can act in the other direction of what people consider to be normal, acceptable, worthy, all these things. You can act in the other direction, and yes, your reality is going to respond. But what happens as a result of that? Of this is exactly what I want this video to be about. It is crossing that line, going over to the other side, a side of pure release and lucidity of who you truly are as a person, accepting all the parts about you, To the extent that you can expose yourself to the world in whatever way you feel called to do, and whatever reverberates back as a product of this full fucking unadulterated self-expression, Whatever comes back is all good. It's going to show you a lot of things, it's gonna open a lot of doors. But most of all, those walls are gonna start to come down. And those walls, as I'm starting to understand, hold back a lot more than just— feeling like— I don't know, like I'm doing this thing and I'm thinking to myself, "Well, I wanna do it right!" "Well, I don't want people to laugh at me!" "Well, I don't want to make a fool of myself!" "I don't want to cross any lines!" "I don't want to flare haters!" I don't want to— you know, all of these various— things that I have my entire life adhered to. Like, my entire life. And I'll get more into that in a moment. But like, when that stuff comes crumbling down, all those rigid standards and shoulds and things that I've been like holding onto so fucking tightly, there is a lot more that comes out than just your ability to expose your vulnerability, if that makes sense. I had a romantic partner for a number of years who had a pet name for me, and the pet name was "Tough Guy." "Okay, Tough Guy. Okay, Tough Guy." And— Tough Guy was very, very, very controlled. Extremely controlled. And mesmerized by the Mirror. Mesmerized by what other people— wanted to see, and all that stuff. And that shit almost broke me. Like, legit almost broke me. I became so pent up and so tightly wound. And that video that I did the other day, about the spokes being screwed too tightly. That was me, right? That was me. I could never, ever, ever, ever in a million years have taken what I've taken recently. Like, I could never have done that. Like, it would've legit stopped me in my tracks from doing whatever it— was that I was doing to summon that stuff. I would be like, "No! Don't go there!" If you get any criticism, if you get any sign that your reality is disagreeing, that people don't like that, that somebody says something— I mean, I was like— I was closed to an extent that— Everything good that I have now coming from me, coming out of me, stirring within, the creativity, all that kind of stuff, all of that stuff was also held back. Because that's how I'm seeing that it works now, is— The inability to show vulnerability is like the ultimate fortress of the Soul Fraile. And if you fuck with that kind of wall, you're gonna continue to be dialed to something other than your Fraile. So, Tough Guy had a really, really, really hard time for a lot of years, and built all sorts of systems to make certain that there was never a sign of weakness. Show no weakness, show no vulnerability, protect yourself at all costs, protect your heart. You know— It was all heavily, heavily, heavily controlled. And now, things have been happening lately that— like the haters saying things. I can be a little— I've taken it to the other direction now. I've taken it to the other side where— I wanna hear it. I want it to be bad. I want a hater to say something true that cuts really deep, and I wanna take it, and I wanna let all of that out, right? I mean, the haters really don't know enough to be able to do that. Once in a while, somebody will get lucky and take a little shot that gets in there, but mostly, it's pretty surface stuff. But my Soul Fraile now craves hearing something that allows me to feel that cut, right? And it's in this— that I'm releasing, right? I don't have to hold it anymore. I don't have to try to build this fortress. I can let it all come down. And I'm doing this in little ways in my life that I never thought I would. And I'm like legitimately calling it out as I see it. And with this, I can just feel myself like really, really, really opening up. And the reason that I'm talking about this today in the fashion that I'm talking about this is I want everyone to know— and I'm sure this video is not gonna be for everybody, but I want everybody to know— That, like, there is juicy fucking fruit here, you guys! Like, talk about anomalous action taking you to some higher Lifelines! All of that vulnerability and protecting— your fragile parts. It's all weights. It's all weights holding you down to some of those lower levels of reality. So, a lot of the tough guy is moving away, a lot of it is dissolving. There are a lot of ways that it's still— It's still here. It's so prevalent. Like, the other day, I was watching the show Afterlife, and I'm definitely gonna start crying when I talk about this, because it really affected me very, very deeply. At the very end of the show, I don't know if you guys have seen it, but Ricky Gervais— His wife dies, and he's left by himself, and he's just sort of stuck on one of those lower levels of reality, grief and despair, missing his wife. And— He's trying to get over it through the show. Like, he starts dating another woman, and in the very first season, he's having a really, really hard time connecting to people in loving ways. He's extremely guarded. He's drinking a lot of alcohol. I mean, it's a pretty sorry state. It's a comedy too, so it's funny, but it's very dark. And there's 3 seasons of the show. Finally, at the very end, the woman that he starts to take into his layer of reality a little bit realizes that he's not over his wife, and she ends up going with somebody else. And at the very end, the finale, He sees everybody in his life at a fair, and he's kind of just seeing the people, seeing life, seeing that it's fleeting, seeing that everyone's flawed, everyone's also capable of living flawed and being happy. The end scenes of— one of the most fantastic end scenes in a show I've ever seen shows the people sort of ascending collectively to some higher lifelines, all enjoying themselves and each other. And he walks away from it, and he walks through this common area of the park, with his dog, and his wife appears by his side at the end. They walk through the park together, and then she fades away. And then he— his dog fades away. The dog that they had together fades away. And then he fades away. And I realized— oh geez— it's short. It's really short and we're gonna lose everything. Everything's going to— everything's gonna fade away, including us, right? Including us. I wanna be an example, because I've experienced the most closed version of reality where I'm so fucking obsessed with doing things right, the standards, people's ideas of me, trapped in a matrix of— conformity and bending to all the rules, right? And there's no life! There's no life there! There's no life there! As I'm doing this, and I'm gonna be honest, you guys, there's times where I really do feel like I know what I'm doing. I'm like, I'm living Transurfing, I'm trying to live it as an example, I'm trying to be it. Set an example of what it can do, right? What the mechanics are of it, and what it can do for somebody's life. And I'm sorry, I know that this is pretty gross, how I'm crying and snot's coming out of my nose. Oh boy! Because— I kinda have it all. I really do. I have a romantic partner that treats me extremely well, very supportive, and is also along for this ride with me, right? I've got the money in the bank, the freedom. I've got all the stuff. So, I wanna show people, like, you can do things differently and have all the stuff that you're supposed to accumulate in life, right? And I'm attempting to do this in a way where, like, there is some strategy here, right? There's absolutely some strategy. I wanna show everyone that you don't have to do all the typical stuff and you can thrive, bottom line. Defy the standards of the Pendulums, right? On the other hand, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing! I have no clue what I'm doing! And that's why I get a little bit uncomfortable when people put me on a pedestal. I'm not any different than anybody else. I'm the same. Yeah, I may have learned how to talk on camera, And, you know, I've perfected some things. But like, dude, we are all the same. Everyone is capable of doing anything that I'm doing, everything. We can all have this life, right? We can all have this life. Oh, Jesus! It's here for all of us. It's here for all of us. But it's short. So, the scene, the final scene in the show, he fades away. And it just hit me, right? I'm sorry, I know this is a little bit of a ramble, but trust me, it's going somewhere. He fades away. And my partner was sitting on the other side of the couch. And I was kind of laying back where he couldn't really see my face. And I started crying watching the show. And the show ended. And It went to the next show, and then he looked over at me and he was like, "Dude, are you crying?" And I was like, "No." I had just yawned and my eyes were watering. And I sat there for a couple seconds and I was like, "Dude, you fucking liar. Why are you hiding? Don't hide it." So I said, "Hey." I just lied to you. I was crying, actually. And I know this sounds like a really small thing, but for me, it was really, really big. Because I've typically been pretty guarded in my relationships of showing weakness and shit because I just wanna make sure that nobody fucks with me anymore. And I'm like, there is nothing in that behavior anymore. There's nothing there. There's nothing there for you. If you want something higher and better, Renee, you're gonna have to open it up a little bit more. So, things have been happening like this a lot to me, and that's why I'm making this video. Haters saying things and me just taking it and not deleting the comments, right? A lot of my team is like, "Dude, you should just delete those!" And I'm like, "No, that's not what it's about." So, I'm gonna run through just a couple of points before I wrap this video up. But I want— if you've stuck around for this, if you've hung in to this video this long with snot running down my nose— Jesus Christ! I'm really sorry. Actually, no, I'm not. It's okay. This is all okay. So, I want you to ask yourself today how you are holding back because of fear of showing weakness or vulnerability, or some other thing that you don't wanna expose to the world. Like, you know, when dogs, like, protect their belly, and when they— really trust a situation or another animal or a person, they'll roll over on their back and like expose their belly. Xavier Waterkeyne actually talked about this in that video we did on the— Oh, Jesus! That practice, that thing that he was doing where they would lay and show their stomach, right? It's like the ultimate vulnerable state. So, how can you theoretically show— your belly to the world and be okay with whatever comes in your direction. "This is what I want. This is what I'm intending with these words," is how can you release to your world a little more and open yourself up. Because that closed nature is not only holding back a bunch of the good stuff within, it's keeping a— a bunch of the good stuff external to you from coming inside. So, what being vulnerable has taught me. It's okay to show weakness. It's fucking okay. It's hard, I'm not gonna lie. Like, doing all this crap and putting myself out there, admitting to my boyfriend I was crying, letting myself be me publicly. My God! I came to this world of Transurfing and all the social media that I have now, I had no social media at all. I didn't even have a Facebook. I had nothing! So, like, the fact that I can get up and do this now on social media— I'm not kidding you, I was 36 years old before I had any social media. So, it's okay. It's not for everyone, and I'm definitely not advocating for everybody to do something like this. This is pretty extreme, and it's taken a long time for me to work up to this level, right? I mean— I'm just sort of bearing it all for the world to see. And I know that a lot of people are gonna say, "Oh my God! That's so cool!" And then a lot of people are gonna be like, "Something's wrong with her," or have some sort of harsh criticism. So, just how you can put yourself out to the world regardless of the response back. Regardless of the response back. It's okay to show weakness. 2. Transcending the vulnerability threshold holds many valuable gifts. The other night, when I'd said that to my partner, he moved in closer to me, and I could tell that he saw me bring a wall down, you know? And that was a moment that there was absolute openness there, and love, and kindness, and gentleness. You know? And he gave me a hug, and it was like, I had another experience shortly before I sold my house, when I was going through some of my family stuff. We went out to a restaurant, my partner and I, and I was talking about it, and I started crying at the table. And when I got up to leave, the girl, the waitress, she came over and she gave me a hug. We need more of this. 3) There's tuning in there. So, what you guys are seeing now is kinda like me, Renee Garcia, tuning to the frail of her soul for everybody to see. Right? So, putting yourself— like I said, it's holding a lot of stuff back, it's keeping a lot of stuff out. But it's keeping you tuned to a frequency and a place, a Lifetrack, a version of you that may not have the things that you want. Maybe releasing yourself in whatever way you feel called to, you'll tune a little more to the frail of your soul. 4) It's super fucking fun! So, regardless of how I look right now, I'm actually really proud of myself for doing this. And when I was— this is kind of like impromptu. I knew that I wanted to do a vulnerability talk. But I didn't know it was gonna be like this. And when I was just in the shower before I came in here, I was like thinking to myself, "Okay, you're gonna put your face up front, close to the camera. You're gonna take one take. If it messes up, Ab's not gonna cut it. You're not gonna do any other takes. You're just gonna turn on the camera and you're gonna let it roll, and you're just gonna fucking do it! You're just gonna fucking do it!" And— I have to say, like, I was pretty Heart and Mind Coordinated over it. I'm like, "Damn! Okay. I'm game for that. I'm gonna do that." And it's in this ability for me to have an idea— Sorry, you guys. It's in the ability for me to have an idea like this and fucking execute it. You know that there's a lot of shit here. There's a— I mean, the floodgates of my creativity are fucking wide open! And this is the most fun I've ever had in my life. I'm so grateful to all of you that watch these videos, because it's kinda unreal that I can get in front of a camera and talk about the things that are legitimately on my mind, real, Heavy, big, life-changing things. Reality-shifting things. Reality Transurfing is just a part of it, you know? There's much bigger stuff going on here than just learning how to drop Importance and tuning to the rail of your soul and all that stuff. This is like— Those are big things. But there's— we are masters and creators of our reality. And you can do this in any way, any way that you feel called to do it. Just let it roll. And I promise you, it's challenging! But there's so much fun and creativity and stuff there, if you want it. You can totally do it! You could totally do it! I never thought that I could do anything like this, ever! Ever, ever, ever in my life! And 5, and this one I am gonna get a little bit emotional, and I'm gonna try to wrap this video up as quickly as I can. What being vulnerable has taught me, it reverses programming. I was heavily, heavily, heavily, heavily programmed, to the extent where I was confined to a box where I could barely, barely, barely move. Before I left Los Angeles when I was 35 years old, I was miserable, I was lonely, I was obsessed with things like image and status and all the crap. That doesn't matter. And I think that's why that scene in the movie, in the show, affected me to the extent that it did. At the end of the day, it's not about all that. It's about the people you love, the things that bring you joy, the ways in which you can create your own reality. I looked over at my partner, man of my dreams. I have two beautiful dogs laying next to me. "I live in a beautiful fucking house, I've got freedom, I've got money, I've got my health, I've got all these amazing accoutrements to life. But more so than anything, I'm creating my own reality, my version of it. And that's kind of what really matters, that's what really, really matters." And when they all faded away at the end of the show, I'm like, Damn! You're actually doing it! You're actually doing it, Renee, because you know that it's not gonna be forever. And you have the fucking nuts to live the way that you wanna live. And that fade out is gonna be okay, because you did it. And it took me a lot of time to get over a lot of programming, and you guys You guys are seeing it live, front and center stage on Transurfing TV, me defying the standards, overwriting old programming and scripts that don't serve me any longer, letting myself out of my cage, bearing my soul, developing the Fraile of my soul. My book, dude, you guys, if you think that this video had anything that was raw or— Uncensored. I mean, talk about snot coming out of my nose! My entire book is snot coming out of my nose! So, anyway. I'm gonna wrap this up now, because I'm sure Ab is like, "Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna just—" Are you watching this, Ab, and thinking that I've hit a whole new level? I hope there's something here for you! I really do. It's okay if you let it out. Whatever comes in your direction is a positive. Whatever comes in your direction— I'm like a motherfucking Native American making use of every single part of the animal here, right? This is me. Whatever comes, I'm harvesting that shit and using it to create my own reality. There is such empowerment in this. It's kind of mind-boggling. Let me know your thoughts and, um, thank you for watching. Bye.