How Dependent Relationships Disrupt Balance & Throw You Off Course Reality Transurfing Vadim Zeland

You should be having sex this many times a week, and your partner should be doing all these different romantic things for you, and you should have this type of open, loving, communicating, all these things in the right place. And if there's anything wrong with that, there's no way around it. There's no way around it. So, the solution here. What is the solution? So, this is Reality Transurfing! This is Transurfing 101! This is— I mean, it's not 101, it's a little more advanced than 101! Hello, hello, hello, Transurfer and the Transurfing curious! My name is Renee Garcia, y'all, and this is Transurfing TV! And today on Transurfing TV, continuing my series on Excess Potential. It's actually a series on balance. It's in the part of the book, Balance. But it's— Balance and Excess Potential go hand in hand, right? Either you have balance or you have Excess Potential. And all of the concepts that I will be going over are going to help you to figure out ways ways in which your perspective could provide balance that maybe you don't have, or at least eradicate some of the Excess Potential that you've built around certain attributes of your reality. We tend to typically do this around relationships. As I previously discussed in my last lesson— if you didn't check that out, go back and take a look. That was— resentment and judgment. We do it with money, we do it with perfectionism, we do it with everything you can imagine that is deemed important to us in our layer of reality, right? Anything that is a primary function, anything where there is potential, for desire, or potential to view what you are currently holding in regards to whatever topic is imbalanced in your reality, and either pulling or extracting from that the good or the bad, or the what isn't working or the what is working. So, Reality Transurfing is— I know a lot of people believe that it's complex. It's not. It's just a different way of thinking, right? It's just a different way of thinking. Once you get into habit, as Vadim said in the book, in my last lesson, once you train yourself to really see where you are creating these imbalances and building Excess Potential, And then reminding yourself of your intention to approach life from an entirely new way, you'll get to a certain point where you don't even remember that previous version of you, or that you had that habit of building the Excess Potential. That's why I laughed yesterday, or in the video from the previous video, that's why I laughed when I was like, I look back on my previous self and my previous reality, and I laugh! Because it's fucking shocking! It's like super shocking! I don't even remember that version of me! I don't remember that version of me, and putting myself back in that frame of mind, like especially when it came to relationships, oh my God! So, I would, like, get into this place where I would think everything was wrong with my relationship. And some of them, everything was wrong, right? But I would go about saying to myself, "If I don't correct this, if I don't correct him, I'm gonna be miserable. I'm gonna hate him, right? I'm gonna hate him and I'm gonna be miserable, and life's gonna suck." So, my only plan of attack, right? The plan of attack. The fact that I would formulate for this problem was to apply pressure and say, "I need you to be like this, or life's gonna suck. I'm gonna hate you. I'm gonna hate myself." You know? God! Just thinking about this stuff, it's like I don't even really wanna think about it anymore. I'm gonna relay it to you guys watching the video, because obviously, you can extract some benefit from it if you are currently in this— you know, state of being, and you have this relationship with the relationships in your reality. But like, "I don't even wanna go there anymore, 'cause it was that gross!" So, you know, here's the thing with Excess Potential. And I talked about this, again, in my previous lesson. It bleeds into all the different various parts of our reality and things that we deem important, and we go— about trying to fix from a perspective of, "This isn't what it should be," right? "This isn't what it should be." Comparing. A lot of comparing, especially with relationships and with money and with career things. You know, saying to yourself, And I know this is kind of silly, because we don't oftentimes speak to ourselves from a Transurfing place like this. But saying to ourselves, "Oh, the Pendulum says that the relationship should look like this. You should be having sex this many times a week, and your partner should be doing all these different romantic things for you, and you should have this type of open, loving, communicating, all these things in the right place." And if there's anything wrong with that, then, "I'm not doing it right. I'm dissatisfied. I need to apply pressure to the person, to my reality, to myself to conform to some idea, some standard that the Pendulum has created. Otherwise, I'm going to view what it is that I have as being bad or not good." And then, all of a sudden, you're doing this thing where you are captivated by negativity, right? Instead of going into creator's mode in your relationship, "What can I do? What can I do that's gonna actually improve it?" Because none of that stuff that I just talked about, applying pressure and all those things, none of that's gonna do anything, right? None of that has any— there's no potential there for any of that to work. And that's why I laugh at this prior version of myself acting in these very demanding, childish ways. "I want you to treat me like this!" and "I want this, and this needs to look like this, and when we go away for a weekend, it needs to look like that," and doing all these things. And I can see now, with full lucidity, right? That of course, these behaviors and this way of approaching the problem created the exact opposite of what I was looking to have, which was a loving, Good communication with the partner, nice relationship, having a nice time, all that good stuff, those actions did not coincide with what it is that I wanted, right? Duh! So, dependent relationships is a little bit different of a topic. I'm going to dive right into it in a moment. Before I do, remember to like this video, comment below, subscribe to this channel. Join us on the Facebook group, the 'International Transurfing Institute' Facebook group. Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, all that jazz. All the links below, courses below. Check them out, y'all! And I will get right into it! Dependent relationships. Idolizing the world is the reverse side of the coin of dissatisfaction. When you idolize the world, things take on a rose-colored tint, and much appears better than it really is. As you know, when a person sees something that is not really there, Excess Potential is created. To idealize something means to overestimate it, to place it on a pedestal, to worship it, or to create an idol to it. The love which creates and rules the world is very different to idolization. However paradoxically it may sound, love is, in essence, dispassionate and unemotional. Unconditional love is admiration without worship or the need to possess. In other words, it does not create interdependent relationships between the one doing the loving and the object of their love. This simple truth helps to determine where love ends and idolization begins. Imagine walking through a mountain valley filled with greenery and flowers. You are thrilled by the incredible landscape. You breathe in the fresh air and aromas, and your soul is filled with happiness and tranquility. This is love. Then, you begin to pick the flowers, gripping them in your hands, forgetting that they are still alive, and the flowers slowly start to die. Later, it occurs to you that you could make perfume and cosmetics from the flowers, sell them, or even create a flower faith and worship them like icons. This would also represent a form of idolization, because— Either way, dependency would be created between yourself and the object of your love, in this case, the flowers. At this stage, there is no trace left of the love that existed in that moment, or of simply enjoying the vision of the flower-filled valley. Can you see the difference? Love generates positive energy, which carries you onto corresponding Lifelines. Idolization, on the other hand, creates Excess Potential, generating Balancing Forces intent on mitigating its impact. The effect of Balancing Forces is different depending on the situation, but the result is always the same. In general terms, it can be described that balanced Forces debunks myths. Depending on the object of love, of idolization involved, the debunking may be stronger or weaker in effect, but balance is always restored. When love changes into a dependent relationship, it is inevitable that excess potential will be created, because the desire to possess something creates an energetic drop in pressure. Dependent relationships are determined by a statement of conditions, such as, "If you this, then I will that." There are endless examples of conditions people place on relationships. "If you love me, you would drop everything and come with me to the end of the world." "If you won't marry me, it means you don't love me." "If you praise me, I will go out with you. If you don't give me your spade, I'll drive you out of the sandpit." Must be a Russian saying. As soon as one thing is compared to another or juxtaposed with another, balance is destroyed. We often hear that we are like this and they are like that. Like that, as an expression of national pride. But in comparison to which nations? And where does this feeling of insecurity come from? Whether— whenever contrast is made, be it positive or negative, balanced forces will eliminate the excess potential it creates. The impact of balanced forces will primarily work against the person creating the potential. Their actions are either aimed at pulling the parties involved apart or at uniting them, which in turn leads to a clash or to a mutual agreement. All conflicts are based on contrast and contradistinction. An initial statement is made, such as, "They are different than us!" Then the statement is developed further, "They have more than we do. Let's take some of theirs!" "They have less than we do. We must give them some of ours!" "they're worse than we are, we must change them," "they're better than we are, we must fight them," "they don't behave like we do, something will have to be done about it." All these comparisons in their various guises lead to conflict. They originate with feelings of discomfort within one individual and end in war and revolution. Balanced forces can eliminate contradictions via confrontation and via acceptance, But given the fact that Pendulums can feed on aggressive energy, more often than not, Pendulums often nudge the situation towards confrontation. Below are several examples of the consequences of various types of idolization. So, that will definitely be the lessons to come. So, do you get where this is going here? It's like— Okay. As soon as you begin to compare anything with something else, you are focused— and God, I love this saying so much that Xavier Waterkeyne just presented to us in a podcast, that you can't expand out of lack, right? You can't expand into something from a place of lack. So, dependent relationships. This is dependency with anything! This is dependency on a rela— this is a dependent relationship with yourself, that you must perform a certain way, or adhere to specific standards, or embody certain attributes for you to be whole or worthy, or something like that. This could be a dependent relationship with another person. This could be a dependent relationship with money. It can be a dependent relationship with anything where your connection to this thing is being— you're getting in there and saying, "I need to bring the levels of the attributes of this thing up to the standards that the Pendulums have created." As soon as you do that, excess potential is created, and balancing forces will come in to show you exactly what it is that you do not want to see. And why this happens exactly is because we need the balance in our lives, we need the balance in our reality, realities, our individual layers of realities, our self, our relationships. Just as Vadim Zeland talked about, "They're not like us! They're different than us! We need to make them like us! We need to— they're not doing it right! We need to show them what's right!" And then it leads to war, right? It ultimately leads to war when you're looking at it from a geopolitical standpoint, this, dependent relationships. This is how divorce happens, too, right? This is how divorce happens, too. This is how people that have created a dependent relationship with money end up seeing less money come in and more money go out, right? People that are focused on the negative distance. Between what they currently hold and the standard that the Pendulum has set, it's a losing proposition. There's no way around it. There's no way around it. So, the solution here. What is the solution? The solution is that whatever you're challenged by right now, maybe it's a dependent relationship with— another person. Maybe you are headed towards divorce. Maybe you don't have the relationship with money that you want, you don't have the amount of money that you want. Maybe you have— getting back to my original lesson on this, the resentment and judgment, maybe you have a dependent relationship with some sort of— polarized viewpoint, and you want to enforce what you believe you need in order for you to fulfill that version that you're looking to fulfill via the standards that the Pendulums have set, or you're not gonna be happy, right? This is playing out so much in our reality right now with political stuff and Shmovid stuff and Shmaxine stuff. I don't say the words anymore, for those of you that are confused about what the hell I'm talking about. We need to address where the imbalance is occurring. So, again, struggling with any of these things, step back and take a look, and ask yourself what you are comparing it to, why you are comparing it, and acknowledge, that those sorts of actions, comparison, resentment of another side, resentment you don't have enough money, resentment of your partner that he's not giving you what you need romantically or sexually, or whatever the hell it is, step back and look at the situation and see specifically what mode you're in that's actually creating that, and figure out ways in which you can remove yourself from that mode of operation and start working towards the positive version of it. I know someone who just did this. I'm not gonna name her. She watches all the videos. In a miraculous way with her partner. She was having a horrible time with her partner. It was, "He needs to treat me like this," and lots of complaining. Lots of viewing him in a negative light. And she stopped herself. "I see myself, I see my reality, I see exactly why certain behaviors that I am participating in are creating this exact scenario." And she stopped! She stopped it, she switched out of that mode, she went into creator's mode within the relationship, she got a bunch of really super positive activities going, she started Frailing him, She started thinking about him more positively. And months later, they have a beautiful, thriving, healthy romantic relationship where they are thoroughly enjoying each other. So, this is Reality Transurfing! This is Transurfing 101! This is— I mean, it's not 101, it's a little more advanced than 101. But this is Reality Transurfing! It's understanding energy, balance and focus. And it's taking a situation that's not going in the direction that you want it to go in, and you're doing what you can do as an individual in that situation, right? Taking accountability for your thoughts, frequency, and actions. And you're taking something that's down here, right? You, your relationship, your thoughts, your quality of life, all that kind of stuff, and you're doing something that's going to get you up here, happy, healthy, getting what you want, things working out, other people in your life being happy. And this shit's legit! This is real practical Transurfing tools. But you first— Gotta take a step back and really assess where you are creating the imbalance, where you are creating the Excess Potential, where you are viewing something from a perspective of polarity, where you are comparing something. Danger zone! Switch into the Transurfing mode, and you will see all of those problems dissolve before your very eyes. So, the next one, idealization and overevaluation. Should be a good one. I hope you will stay tuned for that, and thank you so much for watching. Bye, y'all!