How Over Attachment DESTROYS Your Reality w/ Reality Transurfing Vadim Zeland Renée Garcia

understand more about yourself and why you form the attachments that you do to the things that you have in your life now. Hello, Transurfer and the Transurfer. Are you Transurfing curious? My name is Renee Garcia and this is Transurfing TV! And today, mine, one of the quickest ways to invite in Balancing Forces and build Excess Potential in your life, and inevitably experience— a huge amount of grief when what you have declared as yours gets stripped away from you. Because let's face it, everything we have now, everything that we hold dear to our hearts is going to be stripped away from us, right? We're gonna lose everything. We are impermanent beings. Living in an impermanent world. Our lifespans are actually very, very short. And in my opinion, the loss and the grief that we experience in our lives really is just building us up to that very, very, very end frame where we experience— ultimate loss, and that is loss of our own existence, right? At least in this carnation, right? Or in this life. So, I know this is like, "Oh Goddamn! Is this gonna be a super dark lesson?" And it's a little bit dark, but the reason that I'm giving this lesson today is, one, I experienced something that— gave me pause for thought of something that I was doing that I realized was not going to benefit me long run or short term, right? I could kinda see, like, what it was I was doing. And I'll get into my specific example in a moment. And I started to seek out some information to understand what it was I was doing and why. I was doing it. And the second reason that I'm giving this lesson is because it's in this declaration to ourselves and to our world and to others that something is ours that we actually cause ourselves. We actually work against ourselves. We work against ourselves because, as we know in Reality Transurfing, when you have placed too much importance on something, your world will go about trying to balance out that energetic imbalance that you've created by deeming something too important. Again, this is Excess Potential in its pure form inviting in balancing forces. But the lesson actually comes from this amazing book that I reference all the time, I love this book, 'Letting Go' by Dr. David Hawkins, because it's essentially an entire book on dropping Importance in all different areas of life. So, if you are challenged with either fears of loss, or if you're currently grieving over something, or if you have caused yourself problems in your past— by deeming something overtly important and then losing it because of your own actions or thoughts— and I'll get into some examples in a moment— I would definitely recommend this book! This is really amazingly helpful. Before I get started, though, remember to like this video and comment below "My world is taking care of me" to enter my daily giveaway! For my reprogramming stickers. Follow me on Instagram @reality_transurfing, Reality 2.0 on Teachable down below, and join our Facebook group, the International Transurfing Institute Facebook group! So, I'm actually gonna read a short part of this book first, and then I'm going to ask you a few questions and tell you what happened to me so you can You can see this from a very practical evolution of understanding why information like this really will aid you in creating the reality that you want right now. And also helping you from setting something up that down the road you are going to experience a massive— drop in pressure because that excess potential gets neutralized, right? But I'll get into that more in a moment. So, Dr. David Hawkins, this is on grief, the chapter 'Grief' in the book, page 75. The psychological basis of all grief and mourning is attachment. Attachment and dependence. Occur because we feel incomplete within ourselves. Therefore, we seek objects, people, relationships, places, and concepts to fulfill inner needs. Because they are unconsciously utilized to fulfill an inner need, they come to be identified as "mine." As more energy is poured into them, There is a transition from identifying with the external objects as mine to being an actual extension of me. Loss of the object or person is experienced as a loss of our own self and an important part of our emotional economy. Loss is experienced as a diminution of the quality of ourself. Which the object or person represented. The more emotional energy invested in the object or person, the greater will be the feeling of loss, and the greater the pain associated with the undoing of the bonds of dependence. Attachment creates a dependency, and dependency, because of its nature, intrinsically carries with it a fear of loss. Okay. So, there is a lot of information in that paragraph. And really, the very end sentence, "Attachment creates a dependency"— so, you could say importance creates a dependency. "And dependency, because of its nature, intrinsically carries with it a fear of loss." Okay. So, we do this with our Importance levels, right? We deem something important, and then we go about trying to protect that thing that we've deemed important. And this messes us up in a couple of different ways. One, deeming the thing important, you become emotionally dependent on it. On the presence of this thing, right? So, if the thing ceases to exist, you're gonna be devastated. The second way that it messes us up is oftentimes we will compensate with thoughts or actions towards this important thing to try to protect it. And it's in these actions that actually create the Excess Potential and the Balancing Forces. So, David Hawkins, in the book, gives an example of a marriage that is starting to experience problems, right? And one of the partners in the marriage decides that they are going to become even more attentive, right? And even more giving, and even more— attached, if you will, strengthening those bonds to that other person because they fear the loss, right? So, intrinsically carries with it a fear of loss. Attachment and dependency intrinsically carry with it a fear of loss. So, you have one partner that is trying to— they're overcompensating and they're trying to develop tighter bonds. And then the other partner actually feels that as suffocating, and they respond to the behaviors and actions of the other person by leaving the other person, filing for divorce. So, that first person that was trying to strengthen the bonds actually created a scenario where they actively got what they didn't want. Did not want. So, in doing this, "mine," that is how it messes us up long-term, right? Or short-term, sorry. Long-term is the fact that we're gonna lose it all, right? It's all fleeting, it's all impermanent, and we're going to lose it. If you don't lose your partner now because of something you do— within the relationship, now a divorce. You're going to lose your partner at some point in your life. Your partner's going to move on, pass on, or you're gonna pass on. So, it's all headed— and I hate to sound so, like, dismal here. I know this sounds super dismal. But we all know the direction that it's headed in. In your ability to— understand more about yourself and why you form the attachments that you do to the things that you have in your life now, the emotional attachments, and understanding the purpose that these attachments serve, you can keep all the stuff that you have and— enjoy the things that you love without creating such a dependency that later on, once the things do move away from you in your life, you're not left in a pile of emotional rubble, right? You can grieve and mourn, but you're not going to be completely devastated where you can't— possibly imagine a way to be happy without the presence of whatever it is you hold dear to your heart right now. So, a couple of questions that I wanna ask, and then I'll tell you briefly what happened to me and my realization, my insight of how I was doing this and what it meant for me in this moment now, and my own reality creation practice. So, first— and these are some heavy questions, right? These are probably gonna be— I know for me, when I read this, it kinda haunted me a little bit. And I was like, "Oh my gosh! Okay, yes, I do have these attachments, right? And I do have these dependencies on certain things!" And getting into the negative slide, I started to use this technique to sort of understand that it will all be okay. But I need to do that inner work first for me to lower that excess potential. So, again, heavy questions. What are you currently overly attached to? So, I know this is wild, but like you can be overly attached to your kids, you can be overly attached to your spouse, you could be overly attached to your home, to your bank account, to your profession. So, this is really starting to measure where there might be an unhealthy level of attachment. Now, this doesn't mean giving any of this stuff up. But think about the thing that you hold most dear to your heart, and then imagine tomorrow it's taken from you. What are you left with? And if you say, "Oh, well, I would just be on the floor, a pool of a human being on the floor devastated for the rest of my life," then you're probably overtly attached, to the extent where it might be time to start asking yourself some of these other questions. Primarily, what is this attachment fulfilling? So, again, David Hawkins says it right here. Attachment and dependence occur because we feel incomplete within ourselves, therefore we seek objects, people, relationships, places, and concepts to fulfill inner needs. Because they are unconsciously utilized to fulfill an inner need, they come to be identified as mine. So, the— It's usually when we're not perceiving ourselves as being entirely whole that we become overtly attached to something in an unhealthy manner. So, what is this attachment fulfilling for you? And again, there's a lot of answers to this question, and this is really personal for you. But if you are overtly attached to something right now, what is this attachment fulfilling? What would happen if you lost this thing, this person, this place today? Now, again, this isn't about— I'm not asking— this isn't about you giving anything up. It's about getting yourself to a place energetically where something could happen, but you could move through the grief process, or— mourning loss in a natural and healthy manner without becoming completely devastated. I have a few people in my life that have lost people close to them this last year. A couple of the people are moving through things in a healthy way, and then another friend of mine seems that he's absolutely not, and I can definitely see— that the attachment to the person he lost was probably a little unnaturally high. So, what would happen if this happened to you? How did overt attachment injure you in the past? So, call to mind a time when you were overtly attached to something and you lost the thing, maybe— because of your own importance and excess potential that you built, and balancing forces and all that. But how did over-attachment in the past injure you? So, now we're gonna get to how can the Negative Slide help you. And before I get into this, I'm going to tell you briefly what happened to me. I sort of caught myself the other day because I was thinking some negative thoughts about losing my partner. We've been together for about 3 years, and it's the best relationship that I've ever had. So, in my mind, I started to catastrophize losing him. He had to go out of town on business, and this was right before the holidays, and I got a little bit— I started tripping out thinking that something was gonna happen to him on his time away, on his trip away. And I became sort of like I was having anxiety, like, "Oh my God! What would happen if something happened to him now? I would be devastated. I would be wrecked!" And then when he came back, I could tell that I was being— a little more attentive and emotional to him in response to these fears that I was having, these new sort of sensations that I had never felt before. So, I caught myself, and I actually told him about it. And he was like, "Oh, that's weird!" I'm like, "Yes, that is weird!" So, I started reading this book, and I found this part. Part in the book, and I realized, "Okay, this is exactly what's happening for me!" So, getting back to the original example of the people in the relationship on a little bit unsteady ground, one starts to overcompensate, and then the other one responds to the overcompensation of the other by divorcing, right? So, that other person got what they actively did not want, and that was the marriage deteriorating. So, here, I caught myself. I see myself, I see my reality. I have a fear, right? I have a fear of loss. I have a— yeah, attachment creates dependency, and dependency, because of its nature, intrinsically carries with it a fear of loss. So, I realize I'm overly attached to my partner, right? This attachment is fulfilling something inside of me, because I'm not free. I'm not feeling 100% whole. So, now it's time to do that internal work, get myself to a place where I feel 100% within myself, where if something did happen, I'm not going to fall to pieces, right? So, the Negative Slide comes in here. And for those of you that aren't familiar with the Negative Slide, just— Type into the YouTube search 'Transurfing TV Negative Slide' and I will go into it in detail. But really, what it is, is it's you accepting defeat prematurely. It's you experiencing the loss for a brief period of time, so you're not just constantly running from it, right? Now, you're not living in the place. It's not like I'm going to play Slide consistently, my partner dies and I'm left alone. But for a very brief period of time, I played a Slide that something happened and I'm on my own. And once I can sort of like just put myself in that place in a neutral kind of way where I can step back and remove some of the scary emotions of a scenario, playing out like that, I realized you'd actually be okay, Renee. You'd totally be okay. And this is nothing to— I mean, my God, I don't want this to happen, but it's nothing to absolutely fear. So, in just living in this Negative Slide for a very brief moment, I realized if this happens, it's absolutely okay. So, me doing that, what it does for me— for my reality in this current moment is that I'm not approaching my partner now with excess potential that may be off-putting to him, right? Inviting in Balancing Forces, just like that example of the married couple. I'm not doing something in response to my own fear of loss, or trying to avoid grief that is going to create that exact scenario. Maybe in a little bit of a different way. I fear losing my partner because of a sudden death or something like that. But it's that neediness and that fear of loss that actually pushes him away, and I lose him in a different way, right? We all kind of do this in ways in our lives with other things. Needy parents, right? That the child ends up moving away and doesn't wanna have anything to do with the parent. Because maybe they were too emotionally needy. And again, this could be coming from, stemming from fear of loss in the first place. So, it's really about checking out, checking in to what you are overtly attached to, maybe acting towards with fear of loss that is going to create that scenario playing out in maybe a little bit of a different way. But the result's still the same, losing the thing, right? That's immediate. And then long-term is that everything is impermanent, everything is fleeting, nothing is going to last. So, sort of getting yourself into the spirit of letting go now is going to make that future a lot more— bearable, right? Rather than being a pool of human on the ground that cannot move for a year because you're so absolutely devastated, because part of you just broke off and is gone, right? So, sorry for the downer, you guys! I hope this isn't too much! Again, I highly recommend this book if you're challenged by any of the things that I talked about in this video. Highly, highly, highly recommended! How are you doing any of these? Are you doing any of these? Are you overtly attached? Are you trying to fulfill something missing internally with something external that could obviously be taken away at a moment's notice? And how can you play a Negative Slide to help yourself get back to an energetically neutral place where— the presence of Balancing Forces and Excess Potential aren't going to give you exactly what you don't want, right? Or are going to give you exactly what you don't want. So, let me know your thoughts on this one, everybody! And thank you so much for watching! Bye, guys!