In this Reality Transurfing lesson, Renee Garcia explains how to deal with people who drain your energy or irritate you by applying core Transurfing concepts. She begins with the foundational rule that you must allow yourself and others to be themselves, which reduces excess potential and importance that create imbalance. She then outlines how importance fuels annoyance and how recognizing that you are often giving the other person exactly what they seek is key to changing the dynamic. The lesson introduces the distinction between inner intention (your will), outer intention (the will of the environment), and frailing (using another person's will), showing how shifting from inner to outer intention opens energetic flow. Activating the inner observer is presented as a tool for noticing these exchanges. Practical strategies follow: complete detachment (turning away), giving the pendulum (the repetitive emotional pattern) what it wants, extinguishing scripts with abnormal, disruptive responses, and the concept of “renting yourself out” to turn conflict into a playful game. Throughout, Garcia emphasizes dropping importance, staying neutral, and using these techniques to restore balance in relationships, with examples and exercises to illustrate each method.
Chapters
Hello, Transurfers and the Transurfing curious! I am Renee Garcia, and this is my Reality Transurfing Express lesson of the day! I am back to my normal style programming after a couple of very interesting videos that I uploaded to YouTube over the weekend. If you have not yet seen those, please check them out, they are quite groovy! But today I'm going to go back to my normal style. Of lesson giving. And today, by request, I am going to be talking about dealing with annoying people and vampire people. So one of the beauties of Transurfing, and this is, uh, really the golden rule of Transurfing that Vadim Zeland gives us, is allow yourself to be you and allow others to be themselves too. So I think with this concept, uh, we really are released from a lot of excess potential really, or, or importance that we need others to see things our way in order for things to be right and balanced in our realities. And this is really just the furthest thing from the truth. Uh, this creates an imbalance. This creates, um, importance in you that throws you off balance. And Transurfing gives us a model in which we can deal with people that really does lessen those strings of importance and needing things to play out in our perceived way, right? So today I'm going to be talking a lot about frailing and Outer Intention. This is pretty big in regards to, you know, um, uh, Distinguishing the Pendulum Person. I am going to be talking a little bit about renting yourself out and activating your inner observer. So, these are all really big keys in order for you to gain control of yourself ultimately, and realize that how you're interacting with a person that you perceive to be an annoyance— is actually your— you're accountable for that! So, what's going on here is that if a person continues to come to you with a behavior or a characteristic or a habit that is bothersome to you, what's actually happening is that the person is getting what they're looking for, okay? So, you might be doing this without even being aware of it, right? You probably aren't aware of what it is what it is you're doing, but what the person is coming back for in a repetitive manner is exactly what you are giving them! That's why they continue to come back! So, remember, we have frequencies and we attract things that are on a like frequency! So, if you are tuned in to that characteristic and you're interacting with that person in a way that's giving them what they're in search of, you're just as accountable as the person person coming to you. Okay. So we're going to talk a little bit of how, um, how you can stop yourself from doing this and start interacting with the person in a way that will, um, you know, send them on their way really. So one of the best things that I love about Transurfing is that, uh, the answer to most of our problems is usually the closest and easiest thing for us to go to. It's that, uh, analogy of the fly, you know, banging its head on a window trying to escape when the window's actually open and it could just fly out and go and leave. So oftentimes as human beings, we do this all over the place in our realities, especially when it comes to people that are bothersome to us. Okay? So when people are bothersome to us, we, we sort of attach to whatever it is that seems to be bothering us and we perpetuate it. Okay. But there is that open window you can fly out of, or, you know, by changing your behaviors, changing your frequency and, you know, getting that person to detach. So, uh, look at your interaction, right? If a person continues to come to you, you are giving them what they want. Okay. So this is really a good place to start if you, uh, you know, are being bothered by someone or someone is getting too much of your energy time and time again. It really boils down to you bringing awareness to the fact that whatever that person is looking for, you are giving them. Okay? So allow yourself to be you and others to be themselves. Now we cannot— when we set out to control other people, that's when our reality becomes It's not balanced. So really, you have to take a step back, say "I am me and they are them," and allow them to be themselves. Now, I know oftentimes this simply is not enough, so now we will go into a couple of the solutions, really. So, first one is to turn away entirely. Okay? This means that you simply released yourself, okay? You fly out that window, you detach from that person, you walk out of the room, you do whatever it is that you need to do in order to completely detach! Now, I know the person that requested this video said that a relative of hers was doing it, there was no opportunity to detach! So, that's why! When you can set— go into some of these other ones. Give the pendulum what it wants. So, maybe you're fighting, right? And you're fighting against what the pendulum wants, making it more dynamic and making it more— there's more of an energy exchange. Maybe there is a simple solution that the person is just looking for a particular thing. Maybe they're just looking for eye contact, maybe they're just looking for acknowledgement, maybe they just wanna be heard and you've been denying them that! So, if you can determine what the pendulum is looking for exactly, and give it exactly what it wants, send the pendulum on its way by giving it what it's asking for, okay? 3, extinguish! With an abnormal response. Okay. And Vadim talks about this in the book, right? Um, when we go, when we go with the script, okay, it keeps the script going. Sometimes it is necessary to intervene or to disrupt the script. And this would look like, Maybe for the gal who asked about the family member that's annoying her, and I know this is gonna sound crazy, but this is actually what Vadim presents to us. Maybe every single time she starts to do that thing, give her a warning first, right? "I don't wanna hear your negativity anymore, period!" Just leave it at that. And then every time she does it, go to the kitchen, grab a pot and take a spoon and just bang it as loud as you can, right? Do something absolutely outrageous! That will disrupt the script as it normally plays out, okay? Now, this is extreme, it takes guts, but I've done it, you can do it! See what happens! I mean, worst case scenario, they look at you like you're crazy, and you say "You're gonna annoy me, then I'm gonna annoy you!" And see if that can extinguish it! But again, this is an extreme example. I probably would recommend, you know, you doing the other things first! But if it's really an extreme situation, maybe this will work. 4, and this is really the backbone of Transurfing, drop importance, right? Who cares? If somebody's irritating you and you don't like it, drop importance on it! Activate your inner observer to tell you when someone is— You know, when someone is coming at you in a way that you have attached significant importance, and simply practice the dropping of importance. Let the person do it. Who cares? Shut down, shut down that emotional response. A lot of what Transurfing teaches us is to shut down that emotional response so we don't get triggered. And lose ourselves into the outer screen, right? And become interactive with a pendulum that gets our attention and our energy without us having any control. So, if you can learn to drop importance, right? It gives the pendulum less to hook onto. Now, one of the things that Frailing teaches us, or Outer Intention, is how to get a win-win going. Right? So, you could also, too, look at the situation from a positive perspective and say, "What is this person in search of? What do I need?" And try to find some resolution of how both people, right? The annoying person and you, can get what it is that you're looking for! So, a quick note that I made here, your will negatively affects the application of Frailing! Okay? Will comes from ego, and when it's involved, not taking the intention of another person into consideration, you work from a limited space, okay? So, when you're working with inner intention and you're working from your will, energetically you are working from an extremely limited space! And that's why you lose so much in these sorts of interactions, and they deplete you! Complete you, right? Considering the will of another, there is a broader space to work from energetically. All of a sudden, the solutions become more abundant. Okay. The energy of working with Outer Intention and Frailing does not start and stop with you as Inner Intention does. Okay. That's a good, that's a good statement. Um, what it's saying is that When you use inner intention, you're really— you're putting everything on yourself. When you can sense outer intention and frailing, you are opening up a lot energetically in your environment, and it doesn't all fall on you to find the solution, okay? Outer intention and frailing is a subtle— practice, and it takes practice! It is not something that you can just gain a sense of and start using 100%! This is a practice, this is a sensation! And when you feel that you are using Frailing or Outer Intention and seeing results in your environment, you will notice that! And when you do notice it, remark on it to yourself, and then the next time, kick into that mode in another circumstance! Outer intention and Frailing has helped me wildly with my relationships, with my family. I have a great relationship with my romantic partner because of Frailing. But it is something that I practice, and as I describe it to people really easily, how to differentiate between inner intention, outer intention, and Frailing. Inner intention is when you are using your will. To influence reality. Outer intention is when you are using the will of your environment to influence reality. And frailing is when you are using the will of another person to influence your reality. Okay. Um, so an example real quick, uh, of how energetically things kinda unfold when you are using your inner intention, not activating your inner observer, right? Not working with Frailing and having a ton of Importance. Okay? So, let's say you are in an exchange with another person, okay? Sorry guys, my board is wet here. Okay. When you're using inner intention and you're thinking about what it is that you want, okay, and the other person's doing the same, you are both just pulling energetically to yourselves. And this is when things just get stuck. There's no energy moving around, things get stuck, and there's no solutions, right? Things just kind of— the person you're interacting with is pulling towards themselves and you are pulling towards yourself. Both people are working with inner intention. Sorry about my board, guys. But when you can use Frailing and outer intention, Okay? This person is still pulling towards themselves, but then you're giving, okay? You are giving in their direction, and this helps the flow of energy, and it opens things up, really! So, you have more options, more available to you. It is not you pulling inward. Them pulling inward and things getting stuck. Arguing with someone is things getting stuck energetically, nothing is flowing, nothing is moving around. So, really what needs to happen is you need to ask yourself, if you are going to participate with this person, what is it that they are looking for? That I can give them, that I can get what it is that I want, which in this case is some peace and quiet, right? If somebody's annoying you. So, it comes down to you taking the other person into consideration, it comes down to you activating your inner observer, you calling attention to what is actually happening when you come in the presence of a person seeking your energy or looking to you for something specifically. Now, my belief is that one person can make a huge difference in a relationship, it does not take two! And I have experienced this firsthand! So, if you are the one that is aware and you understand outer intention, and you understand frailing, and you can get a sense for it, and you can call attention to the pendulum when the pendulum starts to beg for your energy, then it is up to you to take accountability to change the situation! Now, if you— again, if you simply cannot change the situation and you see it as entirely hopeless and there is nothing you can do, then it is time to detach from the pendulum! And just like a fly, see yourself out of that window because there is simply nothing that can be done. And remember, again, uh, the best and easiest answer is the closest one to us. So a lot of times this is, uh, simply leaving the situation. And remember, I know I didn't talk about this also, but renting yourself out is key and you can turn renting yourself out into a really, really, fun Transurfing game. That means that you are aware of what the pendulum is doing, you are aware of the situation, yet you are going into automatic mode and you are playing a game with the pendulum. Now, I have had some really, really great fun renting myself out, and I would suggest if you aren't really familiar with this concept, to go back to the book and read about it. It is awesome. And again, it can be a super fun game. It inverts a situation, right? So, if you're stuck in a situation where you're arguing with someone and the energetic exchange is not what you're looking for and you're getting drained, then you can rent yourself out, invert the situation, turn it into a game and have fun with it! And I'm telling you, when you use these techniques and these concepts to interact with another person and change the dynamic, and you actually— see the change almost instantly, you will see how powerful Reality Transurfing actually is! So, I hope you all enjoyed this! Please ask away any questions! This is a vast topic, there's lots to it! Remember, Inner Observer, activate your Inner Observer, wrench yourself out, turn away entirely, give the Pendulum what it wants, or extinguish! With an abnormal response, and most of all, drop importance! Thanks, guys! Have a good one!
