How to Release Yourself From Relationships No Longer Serving You With Reality Transurfing

Hello, Transurfer and the Transurfing curious! My name is Renee Garcia, guys, and this is Transurfing TV! And today on Transurfing TV, you don't owe anybody anything! Oh my God! What a freeing idea! Wow! I have come so far in my life, so, so, so far with this idea! I have seen both sides of the spectrum, opposite ends of the spectrum, going from feeling as though I owed everyone all kinds of things, and myself, I had nothing left over, because so-and-so needed me, and I had to be there for so-and-so, and— Family things and boyfriend, really bad boyfriend things. Like really, really bad boyfriend things where I felt as though— super codependent ideas, like the other person wouldn't be living such a good life if I wasn't around. How weird! You know? So, I would stay in it for the person, because I'd feel sorry for them. And looking back on it, I'm just like, "Ew! Gross! So gross! So, so, so gross!" So, the reason that we must let go of things at certain times in our lives, as Transurfers, if we want to achieve some of those higher variations of reality, is things hold us back! Things hold us back! People don't want us to make moves in our life, maybe we're in some sort of toxic relationship and that thing is— draining us of our energy that we need to use to help us gain momentum in that forward and upward trajectory towards some higher variations of reality. Sometimes we just have to let things go. And as I've stated a lot in past videos, the number one thing that I see, holding people back more so than anything else. I mean, obviously, self, right? Limiting Beliefs and all that kind of stuff. But externally, hands down, it's other people. So, really starting to resonate with this idea that you don't owe anybody a damn thing, right? You don't owe your parents anything. You don't owe— okay, so, maybe you owe your kids stuff. That's a little bit— that's kind of non-negotiable. You definitely owe your kids a safe and loving environment as they grow up. But it doesn't mean that you can't work out a way to do what it is that you want to do as well, right? Give them, just as Vadim Zeland says, treat them as they are guests in your home. Give them what you need to get them on down the road, right? You're gonna raise them up, you're gonna do all the stuff that you need to do as a parent, and then you get them on down the road. But you can still live your life the way that you feel called to, the way that is in line with your Soul Fraile, the way that maybe you've been holding back a little bit. And I'm not a parent, so I can't really speak to this without sounding like I shouldn't be speaking to it. But the one thing that I have noticed in my life with children and parents and family dynamics that seem healthy is one where there is an adult, or multiple adults, that are really living for themselves. This is, in my opinion, the best education a child could have, is seeing a parent or a caregiver living it and doing it, right? So, even putting kids into this, you know, you don't owe anyone anything. Let's just say with kids, you don't owe your kids anything. Everything, right? You don't owe your kids everything. And then, of course, professional relationships, friends. My God! I got rid of some friendships in the last 5 years that, at a certain point, I just felt like I had stayed in the relationships because they were so old. They were so— there was years and years and decades of friendship there, and I felt like I— I owed the situation my presence? Why? If two people have evolved out of the situation, what is the point in sticking around? So, shedding relationships. That's exactly what this is gonna be about, acknowledging that you do not, in fact, owe anyone anything, even a spouse! Don't let him hear you watching this! But getting to a place where you're like, "I'm doing this for me. This is what I wanna do, this is how I wanna live. I saw something that triggered Heart and Mind Coordination. I'm not going to mold myself to continue to fit into the standards that the situation has created." And allowing yourself the luxury to be you and drop. The idea that you owe anyone anything. So, before I get started, remember to like this video and comment and subscribe, and all that jazz! Join us on the Facebook group, 'International Transurfing Institute' Facebook group! And 'Reality 2.0' and 'Tufti 2.0' links below, y'all! And all the other links down there! There's a ton of them! We've got a ton of things, and always more and more things! So, check them out! Number 1, these are gonna be some quick ways that you can run through acknowledging if maybe you are in fact living for other people, feeling as though you owe other people, molding yourself to fit the standards of other people, and what you will gain if you can shift yourself away. From that modus operandi to a modus operandi of putting yourself first. Putting yourself first. So, number 1, starting to view— and I know this is radical, and some people are gonna be like, "Blasphemy! You shouldn't be saying this stuff!" But commitments are merely illusions. Right? They are! And a lot of times— and please, I'm not suggesting anyone to go and file for divorce tomorrow! But a lot of times, we get sucked into Scripts, right? And there are the very conventional Scripts that are running through our cultures, right? Some cultures have— different variations of similar Scripts that other cultures have, right? This whole, like, doing things in a certain progression with life, and getting married and then honoring your commitment with marriage, or you got engaged, so you have to see the engagement through, you can't let the other person down. You know, you've been in a long-term relationship for a long time, whatever, and you feel like you gotta work it out, "I gotta work it out! We gotta work it out!" So, commitments are merely illusions. There's nothing actually keeping you tied to that situation or relationship that can't be broken. Now, obviously, if it's a serious relationship where there's financial ties, even these can be managed, right? If you set the intention to figure out a way to get out of the entanglements so you can free yourself and move on. And the reason that I'm talking about this one is because I get so many messages from people that are in toxic situations, like people that have weird custody things and they don't like the person that's around, the other parent, and they wanna figure out a way to— separate, or people that have been married for a long time and there's massive entanglements, and they're fearful to make a move and do something against the situation because there's gonna be financial loss or risk, or children that are gonna be hurt, or all kinds of craziness, right? But let's face it. And I don't tell people this privately any longer, and it was even really challenging to do it when I was doing one-on-ones. But like, when you're unhappy in a commitment, nobody's winning, right? Your partner senses you're unhappy, whoever else is in the equation knows that you're unhappy, your unhappiness is probably materializing as some form of some dysfunction, some addiction, some whatever. So, stepping back and being like, "Hey, the commitment is an illusion." And what's more valuable to me, maintaining the illusion if it's not working out for me, or figuring out a way, and this being my intention, to untie the entanglements and get myself on down the road so I can do what it is that I want to do with my life and start living again? And I know a lot of this is easier said than done. I know a lot of people's situations are incredibly complex. But if you set the intention to get yourself out of a toxic situation, relationship, relationship with a family member, loved one, partner, whatever, then this is what your life could be about. And you could actually do this, right? So, again, number 1 reason most people aren't living the lives that they want to live, besides their own Limiting Beliefs, are the conditions, restrictions, and all the stuff that come from other people in your immediate environment, right? Number 2, do you want to evolve the ability to put yourself first and turn down the dial of other people's wishes and intentions for you? This has been a huge one for me, really challenging to learn, because my programming was the— Exact opposite. And I even have these moments where, like, somebody will reach out to me and ask me if I can do something, and I'm like, "Shoot, I had my whole day planned, but I guess I kinda have to go and show up and do this thing." And then I'm like, "Wait a second! No, you don't! No, you don't! You do it if you wanna do it and if it feels good. And if it doesn't feel good, you tell the person you're busy, and they go and they find someone else." And this is the interesting thing about putting yourself first. Once you've done it a couple of times with a specific relationship, they kinda know not to come to you anymore. You know what I'm saying? When I first moved back home, my sister kind of took advantage a little bit of the fact that I worked from home. She'd be like, "Hey, can you watch the kids? Hey, can I drop the kids off? Hey, the kids wanna come by. Hey, can you pick the kids up from school?" And for a while, I was like, "Well, I am the aunt, and I did move here to be part of a family, and I should probably do it. It's the right thing to do." And I started doing it, and then I would get asked to do it more and more and more, and then it started to stress me out. And then I noticed it was hampering my day and my stuff that I do. And finally, I just called it, and I was like, "Nope! Not doing it anymore. Nope, nope, nope!" And I had to say no 3 or 4 times. And then, you know what, she stopped asking. And now, when I wanna see the kids, I'm like, "Hey, can the kids come over, spend the night?" "Hey, can I come by and take the kids to dinner?" Right? My terms. I put myself first with my time, my schedule. And I don't let that sort of situation just kinda happen to me anymore, which is very much what I did in the past. And it's Pendulums just kinda ripping you apart slowly, right? Pendulums just ripping you apart slowly. 3, are you ready to honor your calling regardless of what other people in your life— think is right or wrong for you. This is a big one. And I came up against this when I wanted to do this endeavor. People were like, "What the hell are you doing? This is so weird, so unlike you. It's risky. You're gonna stop a regular income coming in to do something that's pretty uncertain." And I'm like, "It's what I wanna do! It's what I wanna do!" Now, luckily, I didn't have children. I didn't have any debt, I already had some money. So, like, even if it didn't necessarily work, I wasn't really going to be harming anything, or people's lives weren't gonna be changing or anything like that. You know what I'm saying? So, the more freedom you have, the easier it is to honor your calling, most certainly. If other people are involved, it's working out the puzzle, right? It's the Rubik's Cube. You gotta figure out a way. To match everything up, but it can be done. And this is really one of the biggest parts of Reality Transurfing, right? Is finding that thing that your heart and mind are fired up over, and going for it and doing it. And as Vadim Zeland says, "Outer Intention will bring to you all the solutions that you need to resolve the problems—" that you're going to encounter on the way to your goal, on that path to your goal. So, your world's going to help you, right? And I'll get to that more in a moment. Number 4, be cautious of guilt! So, remember, reality is a mirror simply reflecting back to us an amalgam, an image, a reflection of our attitude and beliefs and actions towards it. And if you decide to make a move, honor your calling, put yourself first, and then you take into your reality feelings of guilt, this is gonna be like— this is not gonna work out well for you. Because when you— Carry with you guilt over putting yourself first, thinking selfishly, doing what you wanna do in life, adjusting your relationships so you support yourself in your endeavors, not caring what other people in your life say, all that kind of stuff. And if you feel guilt about that, your reality is going to show you an infinite number of ways in which you can also feel guilty over stuff. And guilt is a very, very, very low frequency. Dr. David Hawkins talks about this in the 'Letting Go' book, right? When he talks about the different numbers assigned to various states of being we hold as human beings. And guilt is the absolute bottom. So, if you're watching this video and you're like, "Hey, you're right, Renee! I don't owe anybody anything! And yeah, these toxic relationships and commitments are merely illusions. And I'm going to learn to put myself first. I'm gonna honor my calling. I'm gonna structure my life so I can do what it is that I wanna do in my world, in my life. I'm gonna live my life." And then you step forward holding on to feelings of guilt. You are not going to go anywhere up. In fact, you may even lower your layer of reality, because, again, guilt is one of the lowest frequency states of being for a human being. So, be very, very cautious moving forward with guilt. And Vadim Zeland talks about it a lot in the book, and there's even a chapter on guilt, so definitely go and take a look at guilt. And balance that out, right? Balance that out. Because, again, if you're going forward with that, no-go! In fact, it's down low than going up, right? So, number 5. And this is one of the biggest ones, guys. Your reality will support you. If you decide that you want to do something, and that you don't owe anyone anything in your life, that you have what it takes and you set the intention to move forward towards this goal of yours and do all the things that you need to do in between point A and point B, your reality is— absolutely gonna show up for you and support you in your endeavor, just like me doing this. Now, again, I'm not gonna stand here and lie to you guys. I've given up quite a bit to do this. Even my family members. My parents are tremendously unhappy with me doing this. They hate it! It's ruined our relationship, really. And I had to, at a certain point, walk from them, especially my mother. My dad's just kind of following suit. But my mom didn't like me doing this. She didn't like me calling out parts about the childhood. I don't really believe that she likes to see me succeed. For some reason, it bothers her. She resonates with people that are struggling and people that are hoeing a hard road, doing laboring kind of things, and all that lower sort of stuff. And to see someone doing things that I'm doing right now, it's weird, she doesn't like it, she challenged me a lot, she put me down in some pretty big ways. And finally, I was like, "You know what? I don't need it anymore. I don't owe her anything. And I wanna go this way." And this weight that was my mother sort of wanting me to remain a lower person, I had to cut it, right? I had to cut the— pull the ripcord, right? And the cool thing is, in doing this— and I've had to do this with some other relationships in my life— my reality showed up to support me in exactly the things I was giving up. So, like, okay, I pull the ripcord with my mom, and like, we blast off, right? Mom's no longer in layer of reality. Mom's gone! Mom's obliterated from layer of reality. The cool thing is, now the space is there, I have a ton of really healthy, supportive women. Like really, really supportive women that want to see me do good, that put me up, right? That help me to feel like I'm doing a good job, and, "Renee, I'm behind ya, and any advice you need." Older women that— give me advice and guidance and support, and all those things that I looked to my mother to give me, but she couldn't, for whatever reason. And that's okay, right? But the one thing that was not okay was me continuing to allow that relationship to be, and denying myself all the positive that was to come. If I could do a better job of managing my layer of reality. So, essentially, it was not okay for me to just, like, accept that thing and deny myself all the good that was waiting for me, the positive relationships, the loving relationships, the support, all that kind of stuff. So, in realizing that I didn't owe anyone anything, and really managing my layer of reality, and the human beings that were a part of it, some go out, but others, better and higher, come in that support the calling, the endeavor, the higher version of me, all that good stuff as we— you know, Transurfers, all this stuff that we strive to achieve as Transurfers. Give yourself the best shot you can, right? Pull the ripcord, get rid of stuff that's not working for you. Your reality will show up to support you. In form of helping you connect with other people that are gonna be resonating at the same frequency as you, and are going to help you evolve as a person. So, I know, long video, guys! I hope you enjoy it! Please subscribe, like, comment, all that jazz! Let me know your thoughts. Facebook group. And I'll see ya next time! Bye, guys!