How To Stop Perfectionism From Ruining Your Life - Reality Transurfing By Vadim Zeland

Allow yourself to be you, allow others to be themselves. Allow yourself to do the things that you need to do, take action in the direction that you need to take action. Hello, hello, hello, Transurfer and the Transurfing curious! My name is Renee Garcia, guys, and this is Transurfing TV! And today on Transurfing TV, dun dun dun! Perfection! Perfection, like toxic perfection, and how perfection can screw up your layer of reality, or the need for perfection can screw up your layer of reality, and your mindset, and your relationship, and your financial situation. To such an extent that you get what you don't want, right? You strive to be perfect, you do everything you can to not mess up what it is that you have, and to really get your whatever it is to a state of perfection. I know I used to do this with my physical body, and it was a pretty sad situation, I'll admit. I was— Not well. I was very undernourished, probably, and really just wanted to be perfectly, perfectly, perfectly fit. And in doing so, I actually made myself unhealthy, right? So, as I discussed in the video 'Excess Potential'— I'll try to air these back to back, because they definitely complement each other. In fact, perfection is in the Excess Potential chapter. You always get what you actively don't want. And this is the flipside to wanting to be perfect, is you don't want to be imperfect. And in striving to not be imperfect, a lot of stuff befalls you. Not only getting what you don't want, but you create a maze for yourself where there's not an easy way out. This is— The classic maze of insecurity, as Vadim puts it, where you become so enthralled and so wrapped up in this intricate maze of insecurity and the need for perfection that you can't get out, right? There is no out, there is no escape. The only way out of the maze is to lower your levels of Importance regarding the perfection that you're striving for, and the walls dissolve, and then you just walk out. But trying to find your way through the maze and navigate this intricate and complex system that you've created for yourself— and I've seen a lot of people do this professionally, right? Just like really load up the professional environment with a bunch of Excess Potential, and then, "I've gotta be perfect. I've gotta—" "I've gotta do this, I've gotta do that. And I'm not good enough. And everybody's better than me. And, oh, I'm lacking something." Or, "Oh, I don't have the desirable qualities." And all these insecure feelings keep you lost, right? In this maze. And then, for me personally, what this mode did for me at a certain time is it kept me frozen. Right? It kept me frozen in my layer of reality, where I was unable to make a move, because I only wanted to move if I could move perfectly. And if I couldn't move perfectly, then I wasn't going to take a step at all. This is the ultimate trap of perfection. So, I would only make a move if I could do it perfectly. This is like analysis paralysis, right? This is you really staring at the Mirror, just being like, "I can only move if I see the exact image that I wanna see." And sure enough, you don't make a move at all, you stay stagnant, you're not able to connect with new information, new events, new opportunities, find yourself to higher Lifelines, start the process of evolution. Because to evolve— and I've learned this, and I'm so glad that I have! That's why I can talk like this today! This video isn't gonna be perfect, right? I'm gonna mess up, I'm going to not express 100% the way that I thought that I would before I started the video. I'm probably gonna stutter, or say some words wrong, or get something mixed up. But the video wouldn't be happening if I didn't allow myself. Those imperfections. If I didn't allow those imperfections, if I didn't allow myself to be imperfect, I wouldn't be making the video at all, right? So, it's in me dropping this and lowering all that Excess Potential, all that Importance that actually helps me to make the content, to be the spokesperson for Transurfing. Because if I'm nitpicking, Oh my God! I could nitpick the fuck out of myself! Right? I could nitpick the fuck out of myself! So, I know— don't look at any of that stuff! Don't look at any of that stuff! Now, you can take note and try to improve, but don't ever let it hinder you in taking action. And as I take action and allow myself to be imperfect, I actually do perfect my craft. I do perfect my ability to talk on video. I do perfect my ability to relate to you an idea or a concept that's a little complex, and not have to take a million takes and all that kind of stuff. But again, it's the allowing my imperfect self to take the action that perfects me. Because if I just sit— in one stagnant position trying to perfect myself, never getting anywhere. I'm never getting anywhere! So, before I get started on perfection, remember to like this video, subscribe to this channel, comment below. Join us on the Facebook group, the 'International Transurfing Institute' Facebook group. Follow me on Instagram. TikTok, the dancing thing. The dancing thing! Course links below, all kinds of links below. Audiobooks and everything you could ever want Transurfing, down below. Below, and I will get right into it! Perfection. Perfection! Finally, we look at the most ambiguous and paradoxical way in which balance is compromised. Things that start small can turn out to have the severest of consequences. Usually, we are taught from childhood to do things carefully, to be thorough, and always do our best. We are taught to be responsible, and are instilled with a sense of what is right and what is wrong. Undoubtedly, this is how things should be, otherwise the next generation would turn into an entire army of slobs and slackers. The downside to this kind of upbringing is that in some of the Pendulum's adherents, the striving for perfection is so deeply instilled, that it becomes part of their persona. Some people become obsessed with perfection, as a result of which their life becomes a constant battle. As I'm doing this video, I can see my hair is like really, really messed up, so I'm not even gonna try, I'm just gonna allow it to be imperfect right now. Oh my God! That's kind of embarrassing! You can guess what they are battling with, of course, balancing forces. The need to achieve perfection in everything creates complications on an energetic level, because the assessments a perfectionist makes will inevitably be distorted. So, maybe you didn't notice that my hair was messed up just now, but then you did after I said that, right? This is actually me creating a reality where this imperfection is highlighted because of me actually focusing on it, and then I brought it to your attention. It's actually a really good example. There is nothing wrong with always trying to do your best, but if you attribute perfection too much importance, balanced forces will come in and ruin everything. In addition, a kind of vicious circle is created, making the person even more immersed in their obsession. The person desires perfection, but they get the opposite. Then they try desperately to right everything, but that just makes things worse. In the end, striving for perfection becomes a habit and can even develop into a mania. The Idealist has a tendency not only to place high standards on themselves, but to expect high standards of others, too, which can poison the life of those they are close to. Their high expectations manifest as an intolerance towards other people's habits and tastes. Tastes, which often cause small conflicts that easily escalate into bigger ones. From the outside, it is easy to see how ridiculous it is to seek perfection in everything at the same time as tyrannizing everyone else around you. The perfectionist, however, is deeply involved in their role and seduced by the thought that they are impeccable, infallible, in short, perfect. They think that because they strive to meet perfect standards, they must be a model for those standards. And yet they will not admit this to themselves, because generally speaking, most perfectionists are too clever not to realize that enjoying a sense of one's own supremacy does not quite fit with generally accepted notions of perfection. Wow! That was quite a mouthful! Nonetheless, in a person with these traits, the feeling of being right about everything is deeply rooted in the subconscious. At this point, the perfectionist risks succumbing to the temptation of placing themselves in the position of supreme judge over the rest of humanity, and deciding how and what all other lost souls should be doing. Naturally, The perfectionist easily gives in to the temptation, because they are motivated by the righteous desire to set everybody on the right path, and they have no difficulty in justifying their behavior, because they know that they are always right. So, I just wanna say quickly something that comes to mind when I'm reading this. This guy messaged me, and he was like— he just fucking ripped me apart with my video creation. He was like, "Hey, Renee, you need to slow down your pace, you need to change your lighting, you need to change this about your mic." Like, totally uninvited, right? He just cold messages me and gives me, like, I would say at least 20 things that I was doing wrong. No focus on the positive, no, "Hey, thanks for your videos, Renee!" Nothing like that. It was just absolute pure criticism. But I took it. I was like, "Cool. Okay, this is some stuff that I could fix." And I said to him, "Hey, could you—" I said, "Noted. I'm gonna definitely work on some of these items. Can you send me one of your videos on YouTube?" And he's all, "I don't have any videos." And I was like, "Wait a second. You don't make videos?" And he's like, "No, but I watch a lot of videos, and I definitely know, like, what's wrong with you." I was like, "Okay! So, you're clearly— you've got it perfected, even though you don't do it!" And, you know, it is challenging to do something like this. Anything that's dynamic and has a lot of intricacy to it, it's challenging. But don't become compromised by these challenges. Don't become intimidated, right? Just continue to take action and move. From then onward, having wrapped themselves into the mantle of arbitrator of fate, they assume the right to judge and condemn other people. In reality, of course, the trial does not go beyond everyday accusations and admonition. However, on an energetic level, powerful Excess Potential is created. The judge takes on the mission of deciding how the foolish ones, should act and think, what they should value, what they should believe in, and what they should strive for. And some feeble being— if some feeble being should suddenly decide that they have a right to their own opinion, they will be quickly put in their place. Anyone who dares show any resistance will be judged, sentenced, and labeled, just to make it quite clear who is who. Wow! Sounds like my mom! Of course, the reader is nothing like the picture of the idealist portrayed here. It is unlikely that a person who believed they were always right would be drawn to read this book. The perfectionist who feels they know how others should run their lives is free of doubt. However, if you meet someone like the perfectionist portrayed here, take a good look, because here you have an extreme example of how crudely the laws of balance can be disregarded. We are all guests in this world. We have the freedom to choose our own path, but no one has the right to judge others, to sentence them, or to label them, with the exemption of criminal law. What starts as an innocent striving for perfection ends in claims to the privileges of master. Accordingly, the resistance exerted by balanced forces, which initially takes the form of minor problems, increases in intensity. If the Idealist is protected by a Pendulum, they will get away with their behavior for a while, but eventually, the time will come when they will have to pay for their deeds. When a guest forgets that they are just a guest and makes claims to the role of master, they run the risk of being thrown out altogether. Okay. So, I actually don't like talking about this, the situation with my mom, but I'm definitely going to bring it up, because I just feel it is so absolute. Absolutely pertinent. And what's transpired as a result of her feeling as though she has the right to be judge, jury, and executioner in her layer of reality is exactly this, she's been thrown out, right? She's been thrown out, she's lost relationships with her children, she doesn't have a social circle that is healthy and thriving. And, you know, it's— This is the risk of running your reality in the direction that you know what's up, that you're perfect, that everyone else is wrong, that you know the right way, whatever your way is at that moment, everyone that's against you is wrong. You are creating Excess Potential of self. And again, What happens is Balancing Forces comes in and eradicates that Excess Potential. So, this is definitely putting a person in a position of being alone, right? Being alone. And we do this in our lives every day in at least some way, right? That little bit of— let's call it perfectionist friction, pushes away something else. So, let's say you take a stance politically on something, and you're declaring your stance the right way, or you take a stance on something else that's happening socially. This position that you are taking is going to essentially create a buffer where someone in your reality, or something in your reality, is going to maintain its distance, because you have energetically sort of put your hands up like this, right? I actually had this happen with a longtime friend. He was texting me all this stuff. And I realized he was trying to help, but it was stuff that I don't pay attention to, a lot of shmacksine stuff and shmovid stuff. I love those words now, shmacksine and shmovid. Okay. So, he was texting me a lot of, Shmacksine and Shmovid stuff. And he just kept doing it and doing it and doing it. And I stopped responding. And then, you know, I stopped responding slowly, and then finally, I just stopped responding at all. And then he was like, "Well, why aren't you responding to me?" And I'm like, "Dude, I just don't wanna hear it. I just don't wanna hear it." So, this is a really good example of somebody that's got good intentions, feels as though they know the answer, trying to help someone out, But in the interim, they actually do damage, and there's a buffer and distance between them and who it is they intended to help, and it just kind of like you get a result that isn't what you were going for, right? So, I let everyone just do whatever the hell it is they wanna do. I don't take a stance on anybody's ideology, I don't take a stance on anybody's— anybody in my life, their political beliefs, nothing like that. I don't give a rip, right? Because I know as soon as I start doing that, I will experience some kind of consequences. And I'm just not interested in those. So, perfection, perfectionism, being a perfectionist. It's for the non-Transurfer. It really is the opposite of Transurfing, in my opinion. Allow yourself to be you, allow others to be themselves, allow yourself to do the things that you need to do, take action in the direction that you need to take action in towards your intention, in an imperfect way, and you will gain success. Freeze in the idea of being perfect at something, and you are going to be just that, frozen in space and time, and not making headway in your layer of reality. So, with that, I will bid you farewell. And I hope you tune in to the next one. Thank you for joining me. And see you all next time. Bye, guys!