MUSTERBATION w/ Reality Transurfing

Hello, hello, hello, Transurfer and the Transurfing curious! My name is Renee Garcia, and today on Transurfing TV, we are going to be talking about— Masturbation! It is a coined phrase and term and idea of an older great thinker. I think his heyday was probably in the '70s or the '80s. His name's Albert Ellis. And he wrote this amazing book called "A Guide to Rational Thinking." If you're intrigued by what I'm going to talk about in this episode, Definitely check out some of the other works of Albert Ellis. He's really a Transurfer, if you will, and he has a lot of ideas about how we approach reality with expectations that ultimately end up harming us. So, his phrase here, "Masturbation," and his quote, "Masturbation is good and delicious, but masturbation is evil!" evil and pernicious. And I'm going to get into what masturbation is and why you shouldn't masturbate. Before I get started, remember to join us on Facebook, comment, like, subscribe, Teachable link, Reality 2.0 down below, and we will get started. So what is masturbation exactly? Well, masturbation is your propensity to really direct your "musts" and "shoulds" into your external environment, onto other people, and onto yourself. And also, this has to do with that internal dialogue of you telling someone or yourself or your world that it must adhere to a standard or an expectation that you have created. So Albert Ellis, who was a freaking genius— I mean, I watched some of his stuff over the weekend and wow, I was like, "This guy really has it dialed in!" What he believed is that— We essentially disturb ourselves via our habit in masturbating. So, he was actually kind of the antithesis of Freud, right? He did not believe that your problems or your shortcomings or your deficits or your mental conditions, or depression, or anxiety, all that kinda stuff. He did not believe that this was all put onto you by your external environment, your parents, the world we live in, all this stuff that Freud tended to believe was the root of our mental instability and our— the downside. Of being a human being, our emotional state, and all the crap that we experience being human beings, right? What Albert Ellis really believed is it was our adherence to the information that was presented to us. So, if you didn't have good examples growing up, or your parents— didn't do well by you, that's a thing in its own. Your adherence to the information you received is really what causes you the disturbance, or caused you the disturbance, not the root of the information, right? So, this manifests itself as a bunch of— ideas, and again, expectations and beliefs that we not only fester in ourselves, but we project to the external environment as well. And these are classically, you know, "I must," "I should," right? "Shoulds" fall into this category. "He," "She," "They." she, they must, they should, the world must, the world should, right? So, this is you setting up yourself, others, or your world to adhere to standards you have created. And when your world does not adhere to those standards, that's when you become disturbed, out of balance. Emotionally distraught, depressed, anxiety, all that kinda stuff. So, he was a big advocate for different philosophies, and finding a philosophy that suits you and your intentions. And understanding that if things are not working out for you emotionally, if you're not experiencing the life that you want to experience— then really what it is about is you have chosen a philosophy that you are adhering to with your emotions, your state of being, all the different parts of how you connect to your reality, connect to your external environment and yourself. You have chosen a faulty philosophy. So, in changing your philosophy and sort of combating these "musts" and these "shoulds" and letting them go— and I will get to that more in a moment. I'm gonna give you 6 steps to undisturbing yourself, as Albert Ellis put it. So, it is all about you switching your philosophy and finding a better one that's more suitable for you and your intentions. And letting go of a bunch of this. So, there was one thing that was said on this podcast that I listened to, and it was that every emotional state has its concomitant belief system, right? So, if you are experiencing an emotional state that you do not like, that you do not want to be in anymore, the belief system that you have chosen is running exactly parallel to that emotional state. So, if you change your belief system, then you change the emotional state. But the belief system and the philosophy needs to be upgraded if you are looking to find yourself out of an emotional state that you no longer enjoy, right? So, what he really said in this— podcast, it resonated with me so deeply, is that if you didn't masturbate, you wouldn't awfulize, catastrophize, and terriblize, right? So, a lot of this like, "Oh, the world's going to hell!" Or "Oh, my relationship isn't what I want it to be, it's terrible, it's awful! These things are happening to me that I don't like. I don't like my professional trajectory. This is worst-case scenario!" All these— all these awfulizing, catastrophizing, and terriblizing are really just a product of you masturbating, right? Saying that something must be and should be. He should, he must, she must, she should, they must, they should, the world must, the world should, all that. Or I must, I should, right? So, here I sort of took a little bit of his sort of breakdown. In the podcast that I listen to, and then also fused it with a little bit of Transurfing stuff of how to stop yourself from masturbating, right? Okay. So, the first step is that, one, you dispute your "musts" and your "shoulds" on disturbing yourself. So again, remember, he said we disturb ourselves by musting and shoulding ourselves and the people in our lives and our reality to death. So, in order for you to undisturb yourself and become just sort of accepting of reality, the people in your life and yourself the way that they currently are, you have to start disputing your musts and shoulds. And the first step to this is obviously "I see myself, I see my reality," and being able to pinpoint exactly when you are doing this to yourself, right? When you are placing your standards or your expectations. Expectations onto yourself or the world in a way that's detrimental to you and your reality. Second is to take accountability. So really, uh, when I say take accountability, what I'm really saying is accept the fact that you have chosen a faulty philosophy and take accountability for your adherence to the philosophy that you currently hold for yourself, "Oh, the world's going to hell," and "I never get what I want," and this really like base sort of— if this is you, this base sort of philosophy that you have chosen for yourself, take accountability that it's you that have chosen to adhere to that philosophy, right? And also, getting back to— anything that's been undesirable in your past, that you have taken those events and adhered to them in a way forming your own philosophy based on attributes of, you know, a life that you've lived that is no longer serving you as well. So taking accountability for whatever it is you have right now is because of the philosophy that you you have chosen, and I'll get to what to do exactly to counteract that. But first, acknowledging that your philosophy is faulty, right? So, 3, change your philosophy. This is "My world's taking care of me. Everything's going according to plan. Things are working out beautifully and continue to do so with ease," right? This is you choosing to really adhere to the philosophy of Reality Transurfing and all the concepts that are in there. Wholeheartedly no longer either playing a victim, putting blame on your reality or your world or something, people, all that kinda stuff. So, it's really you taking into your own hands the fact that you can change your philosophy, therefore changing your reality. Go for appropriate philosophies. So, what Albert Ellis meant by appropriate philosophies— is philosophies that are in line with what it is you intend to be, have, or do. No longer accepting anything less that is no longer serving you, right? You're only going to choose things that are appropriate for you and contribute to your betterment, betterment, not your detriment, right? 5, stop taking a goal, intended state of being, or perception and turn it into a must or a should. This is really, really big. And we talked about this We talk about this a lot in Transurfing, going too far with it where it becomes so important that you invite in balancing forces, which is really— again, balancing forces is exactly "I must, I should, he/she/they must or they should, the world must or it should." And then the balancing forces come in because you have expectations. Expectations and excess potential. And what happens is the result is that your world proves to you, no, nobody must or should, or the world doesn't have to adhere to your standards, right? And then this is what disturbs you. So this is what disturbs you, is the balancing forces coming in and sort of proving that no, the world isn't going to adhere to your standards, right? So again, stop taking a goal-intended state of being or perception and turn it into a must or should. This is really about, again, I wake up, I see myself, I see my reality, I see what I'm doing, I see the expectations I'm placing on my external environment, myself, or other people. I see when I'm doing this, and really just relaxing on all of those shoulds and musts and, you know, you have to, and I've got to, and all that kind of stuff, and dropping importance on it. So what Albert Ellis said, he said the best thing for one to do is to say, I would like very much to do well, or I would like very much for this person to treat me like this, or I would like very much that my world looks like this, but I don't have to, right? So this is obviously dropping importance 101, where you, you, you, you, you make an order, right? You place an order or you set an intention or you set a goal for yourself, but at the same time you play your negative side of feet and you lower your levels of importance. I would like this, but I'm also okay if this doesn't happen. It's when you load it all up with excess potential and importance that again, balancing forces blow in and disturb you. And it's this disturbance that actually causes your issues. It's not that your world's not responding, they're not responding, or you're not achieving your own expectations. It's that you're disturbing yourself because of balancing forces making it more challenging for you to obtain what it is you're looking to obtain. And obviously— As Vadim Zeland says in the book, that you can get everything you want by lowering those levels of importance. So, Albert Ellis says it perfectly there, "I would like very much to do well, but it's okay if it doesn't happen," right? So, this is you setting an intention yet not loading it up with excess potential and importance. Where the whole thing possibly goes to ruin. This is your best chance at actually getting what you want. So, let me know your thoughts on this one, everybody! Remember to like this video, subscribe, comment below, and join us on Facebook, Instagram @reality_transurfing! And thank you so much for watching my video! Bye, guys!