Renee Garcia explains self-sabotage as fear pulling you back inside the box of your limiting beliefs, just when you're about to reach a goal outside it. The fix: act opposite to the sabotaging impulse. Do the networking, the interview, the vulnerable thing anyway, and you expand what you believe is possible.
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What I like to imagine is that my life is a box. Hello, Transurfer! And welcome to Transurfing TV! I am Renee Garcia, and this is my video on self-sabotage! I'm actually creating this video today because I have encountered a number of Transurfers, naughty, naughty, naughty, that— I have really recognized as self-sabotaging on the way to their intentions or their goals or that future Frame. And it's really quite shocking to me, or it was quite shocking to me. It's not shocking to me anymore, because I've sort of lifted the veil off of what this whole phenomenon is, why we do it, right? And before, I was a little confused. I used to do it. Used to do it all the time, especially when it came to goals surrounding money and relationships. I was endlessly self-sabotaging. So in this video, I am going to speak a little bit about what I believe self-sabotage is, why we do it, and what we can do to stop doing this thing. And it really is a roadblock or a wall that we put up on the way to our goals. So how we can bring that down and achieve what it is we intend to achieve a little bit easier without having to work against ourselves. I actually heard a saying once, somebody said, get out of the way of yourself. And I always remember that, get out of the way of yourself, right? This is, this is you creating obstacles on your path to your goal, and really, it's super counterproductive and it's very damaging. So, what I like to imagine— two ways of seeing it. And visuals really, really help me, because it kinda sears it into my head, and then when I'm doing it, I just imagine my little drawing of my stick figure, and it helps me to be like, "Okay, wait, don't do that thing!" So, what I like to imagine is that my life is a box, right? And this box is created of my beliefs. It's my belief system. The walls are my beliefs, okay? And the things that I want in this world that I do not yet have are outside of— the box. Okay. So let's say I want to have, or I intend to have more money, but my current belief system does not necessarily support that amount of money. Okay. So let's say off in the not very far distance, but in a little bit outside of my box is the amount of money that I want. So the way that I get this money, I get myself to this money. Is I actually expand my box to where the money is inside the walls of the box. Okay? And the way that I do this is a number of ways. And there's lots and lots and lots of ways that anyone can do this. But the ways that I expand the walls of my box are by connecting to my Higher Self. Right? Actively connecting to my Higher Self. Trusting that a variation of this reality, or whatever it is I intend to have, does in fact exist. This is the first, first, first step! You've got to assume that this variation— you've got to know, rather, not even assume, know that this variation of reality does exist! Because a lot of people are inside the box! Right? And they're like, "I'm never going to get there. This is never gonna happen for me. This is my box, this is where I live, and this is never gonna happen for me here!" So, in the Reality Transurfing modality, obviously, understanding the Alternative Space, the limitless nature of the Alternative Space, and knowing that ultimately every single variation of reality, every option does in fact exist for me, It's my power to connect with that variation. But the first step, again, is acknowledging that that variation does in fact exist. Okay, so, I've acknowledged that this variation does exist, and I'm connecting with my Higher Self, I'm creating my future frames, which also expands the walls of my box, right? Harvesting my Meta Power, playing my Slides, really acknowledging that I do in fact have the ability to connect with this, all that stuff is going to expand the walls of my comfort zone, my belief system, my box that I've created for myself. Now, where self-sabotage comes into this. So, Once in a while, we sort of poke our head outside of our box, but we're uncertain because we've never been surrounded by certain things, or we encounter certain things that we've never encountered before. Okay? So let's say that you expand the wall of your box just a little bit, okay? And you're like, oh wow, my, my box has expanded and I'm going to stick my head out and I'm going to take a peek. Okay? So, you stick your head out to take a peek, and all of a sudden, you realize that you are not in the safe confines of your box anymore, and it scares you! Okay? So, let's say that you have to take a step or a movement that you've never taken before! Let's say you have to network or speak with somebody that's more powerful or successful than you, and this intimidates you! Let's say that you meet a romantic partner, or someone that seemingly would be a perfect fit for you, but this makes you feel some feelings of insecurity about yourself, or something like that! I mean, there's lots of different ways that we could feel uncomfortable sort of poking our heads outside of our little boxes of comfort! So, you poke your head outside of your box— and you realize that you gotta take an action, or embody a certain characteristic, or have an interaction with another person, or something that you are not used to. So, what you will do then, most likely, if you are a self-sabotager— or at least this is what I've done in my past— is I will take an action in the opposite direction, or I have taken action in the opposite direction that would put me in a position where I didn't have to extend any further out of the comfort zone! So, I would sort of poke my head out of my comfort zone, I'd see something that would ruffle my feathers or intimidate me or scare me or something like that, and then I would respond, I would be reactive in the opposite direction of my intention! Ensuring that those walls kind of closed me back in suddenly into my safe— my quote unquote "safe zone"! So, I did this for years and years! And there were times that I was able to act outside of the box, but there were certain parts of me that never really made it beyond just taking a peek outside of the box! So, now, when I feel that I am intimidated by an action, a movement— I need to take. If I have an interview with somebody big, right? And I think, oh my gosh, they're going to think that I'm a fraud, or they're going to— maybe I should cancel, or maybe I, maybe it's too big, maybe it's too big, or I'm not in a position where I can do this, or I don't— I'm going to be nervous and I'm going to mess it up, or some, some sort of negative thought about myself or my performance or something like that. That results in me wanting to retract, I know that I am in the act of self-sabotaging. And the simplest way out of that is for me to take the action regardless of how scary it is or intimidating or how it makes me feel. So this is me acting in the opposite direction. So I actually use it as a positive sign now. If I start to stick my head outside of my little box of comfort, out of my safety zone, and I feel intimidated or shy or something that wants to, uh, that, that makes me want to retract back into my box, I know that in that moment, that is exactly the way for me to connect with the higher version of myself, to push through that exact space and connect with what I'm intending to connect with via me acting in the opposite direction of, uh, self-sabotaging Renee Garcia. So this is kind of it for me. This is my little take on self-sabotaging. Uh, are you doing this? Are you self-sabotaging? How can you connect with that higher version of you via instead Inspired action against or away from that self-sabotaging version of you? Or have you overcome self-sabotaging, and does it look similar to this? I'm curious to hear your thoughts! So, remember to like this video and comment in the comment section below "I love Reality Transurfing" to win some of my awesome stickers in my little giveaway that I'm doing weekly now! And thank you so much for watching!
