Taking Accountability … The Missing Link In Creating Your Own Reality - Reality Transurfing

Well, hello, Transurfers and the Transurfing curious. My name is Xavier Waterkeyn and I'm here with Renee Garcia and this is Reality Transplaining.

Yay! Yay!

And today we're going to talk to you— I should— today we're going to talk to you about Let's try that again. Today we're going to talk about accountability, about—

love it—

doing, doing a personal audit and understanding the relationship between who you are and your experience of reality, which is what accountability actually is— taking into account the relationship between who you are and what you're experiencing.

Yes, and I actually did an amazing practice, like about— I want to say it was about 2 years ago, and somebody told me to do this thing. I actually have a video about it on this channel. It's called the Ultimate Blockage Remover or Ultimate Blockage Exercise or something like that.

I'll put the link— what, the ultimate spiritual enema?

Yes, it was. Oh my God, talk about a spiritual enema. My God, it was, it was First of all, I didn't even necessarily believe in the thing, but somebody really urged me to do it, and they said, take 3 days to do it. And I was like, 3 days? He's like, no, listen, turn your phone off, don't see anybody, don't take any calls, don't text, don't be on social media, just do this thing for 3 days. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, that's not me. Like, I'm not able to just tune out of everything for 3 days. So then I decided that I was going to do it for a day, just a 24-hour period. And I started to consider and prepare doing it for that day. And then I was like, no, you know what, I'm gonna go, I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm— my instinct was telling me to do it. And I did it. And I swear to God, my, my whole reality, everything, everything began to sort of fall into place from that point. It was a massive pivotal moment in my Transurfing.

And this point of pivot was the point when you started pivoting from inefficient functionality to efficient functionality.

Perfect.

For those of you, for those millions of you who haven't watched it yet, we're referring you to our other podcast which preceded this one, which is about the 4 stages of the life arc. From inefficient dysfunction to efficient dysfunction to inefficient function to efficient functionality.

Yes.

So accountability will help you with the bridge between— well, it actually helps you in the, in the bridge between inefficient— well, actually all of them when I think about it. If you can take some accountability no matter where the four life stages you are, because there are going to be three 3 cusp points between the 4. At any of the cusps, you can start using accountability as a tool to get you to the next level, the next stage.

Yes, accountability is definitely a good vehicle. Like, it is the only vehicle really, because once you, you know, and this is where the mirror concept comes in again, it's like there's a huge difference between standing in front of a mirror trying to comb your hair on the mirror itself and actually taking a comb and combing your hair so the reflect— your image in the mirror ends up with combed hair as a result. I mean, I know it, it sounds so elementary or, or trivial, but Even me, I mean, I'll catch myself at points in my day and I'll think to myself, I'm, I'm touching the amalgam of the mirror.

I'm sure I'm trying to comb my hair by putting the comb up to the mirror and what— and trying to get the image.

Exactly. It doesn't work.

Everything, everything, everything begins with the state of being that you're in. And the state of your being that you're in begins with your— it's, is, is your consciousness, the, the way, the level of consciousness and awareness that you have. Now, that requires accountability, which we can define as the ability to look at the relationship between you and the alternative space. It's a way of just saying, in what way is who I am affecting my experience of reality. That's all it is.

Yes.

So I'll repeat that for the benefit of everybody else out there, millions of people watching it. Who I am is what I experience.

Yes. Yes.

I mean, it's impossible to experience something that does not in some way reflect who you are.

Yes.

It just isn't possible.

Yet this is what so many people are doing, like, the—

and they don't get it, and they don't get it, and they don't understand the subtleties involved here. Are you telling me that if— because I'll say, are you telling me if that— if my spouse is beating me up, it's my fault?

No.

What we're saying— what we're saying is that you are— you need to take account of your role in the situation and whether you want to continue to be in that role.

Yes. And also, you know, when it comes to the whole, like, you know, when you are a proper victim of something, right? When you are a victim of some type of abuse or harassment, or, you know, you're in a relationship that's dysfunctional and you're taking the brunt of some sort of whatever dysfunction. When, when you, when you don't have the awareness, and this is where, you know, my story originated, I didn't have the awareness to understand that I was simply perpetuating a lot of stuff that I had been exposed to, such as an abusive biological father and all kinds of weird stuff that I just took on, right? But it was, it wasn't that when I ended up in an abusive marriage, it wasn't that I was— it wasn't that I was making that, like I was causing that to happen to me, like in a way where, you know, I was creating that version of reality by what I was putting out because I didn't understand any of that. It was my lack of awareness. It was my lack of awareness. It wasn't that I was making that.

Yeah, well, exactly, exactly. You can experience through an absence as much as you can through a presence. This is what the real take-home about this is. When you're— if you're being abusive to other people and somebody eventually takes revenge on you, you're actively doing something. You can then say, well, if I'm taking account of that, then I can say, well, it was my fault. I behaved badly to a person who reacted that way. And sure, I have to own that. But you can also— but your experience of reality is also a result of the absences. An absence of awareness of something will leave you vulnerable to energetic forces that will want to exploit that. We had this discussion a few podcasts ago when we talked about children. Children are— when we are children, we are inherently vulnerable.

And we don't have the awareness.

We don't have the awareness, right? Yes. Yes. And so if we, for whatever reason, find ourselves in an environment which will respect our boundaries and respect our vulnerability and respect our lack of awareness, then we will be protected from our own ignorance.

Yes. But if we don't—

it's not a— it's a— it's not a child's fault. When we're children, it's not our fault that we're children. It's part of the journey, right? It's part of the deal.

Yes, absolutely.

As part of the, part of the endless journey of the soul, part of the, one of the things we experience are various ways of being vulnerable and also the way that various ways of being vulnerable are either nurtured and respected or distorted and violated.

Yes. Or develop into learned helplessness.

Exactly, exactly. And all that sort of stuff. But it's not a child's— it's not a child's fault they get beaten up.

Exactly.

Child is simply being a child and being vulnerable. Now, that doesn't mean that there aren't challenging children in the world who are going to push your buttons, but then you've got to find a way of managing that because again, it's a matter of awareness and negotiating with other consciousnesses. But accountability is asking yourself, who am I in this situation?

Well, so So a lack of accountability. And, you know, I'll speak from my own, my own per— my own personal experience. Like, I was that abused child and I carried that, all that, that, that, um, you know, that programming, first of all, but that lack of awareness of what was actually transpiring. Hey, I'm just a vulnerable kid and people are taking advantage of me, right? Instead, what I did is I viewed it as I, you know, I did something or I, you know, and then if you're constantly, if you're constantly told as a child, it's your fault, you're a bad kid, you did that. Yeah.

And you don't know any better to sort of short circuit that dysfunctional, toxic message. You're going to take that on and then you're going to think that you're— and then you're going to get to that point, which a lot of adults are still in, where they feel that they're responsible for everything in their lives. Yeah, but you see, but they mistake responsibility with fault. And Transurfing isn't about pointing the finger of fault and saying you're a sinner, you're a bad person. It's about saying, well, have a look at who you are, have a look at the role you're playing in that, and acknowledge that there has been an error made somewhere. Or there is an absence somewhere that has left you vulnerable to that experience and fix it.

Take control.

Take control. Take whatever control you can get depending on your level of consciousness.

Yes.

Open yourself up to poss— open up yourself to possibilities, to a vision, to a slide, if you like, that will be the first frame in the new movie.

Exactly.

That's all the slide is. It's a, it's, it's a frame from a movie.

Yes. Yes.

Right. So you just— but, but that's a Reality Transurfing technique. You actually have to practice sliding.

Well, I think where— I think where a lot of— and again, I'll speak from my own, my own personal experience. When, when I encountered abuse, like, I for a long time, I didn't know what— I didn't— I, first of all, I just assumed that it was the way that life was because that's really all I had ever known, you know. And then when I started to think that there was possibly another way, my frequency was still corrupt, so I didn't really know how to get, get out of those versions, those layers of reality where the presence of that sort of stuff existed.

Yeah, you were reaching, you were reaching for functionality, but you weren't very good at it. Yeah, see it in the distance.

I could see it in a distance, but again, prior programming, faulty beliefs, generational you know, corruption, all that kind of stuff, it was like, okay, well, I know it's fucked up, but like, then there's that learned helplessness, right? Where it's like, okay, well, I know it's fucked up, but I don't know what to do. And I would think to myself—

Although I would argue that that is actually the process of beginning unlearning helplessness.

Yes, but at the— but in that, in that, you don't know that, right? You're just like— you're so, so, so when I got out of my abusive marriage, I found myself into a relationship with another man, even though I told myself I'm never going to allow that to happen to me ever, ever, ever again. You know, a year into our relationship or whatever, we got into an argument in the kitchen And he pushed me against the, you know, he pushed me against the cupboards. And I was just like, why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Right?

Which is actually a very good question. It's a good question. Why is this happening to me?

It's an excellent question.

Because it's a question that begins the healing process. Because part of that, it's like saying, You're saying it's other people's— you're looking at other people and looking at them as the origin of your problems.

Yes, yes, right.

And on some level, yes, they are, but they're simply acting out their own crap because you've created a space in which they can do it to you.

Perfectly said, perfectly said. It's not that I'm asking to be abused.

Yeah, it's that it's just simply you've left yourself open to abuse. Yes, different. It's not like saying I'm a masochist, I just, I just, I just really get off on being abused. It's like saying I don't know what part of me has left a space available for that. And that's true of every interaction with everybody you'll ever meet, whether the interaction is positive or negative, is what space are you creating to allow that aspect of that person to come through?

Yes, the consciousness, the consciousness that you currently hold does not support support you understanding that you are essentially opening yourself and opening yourself and allowing yourself to be— remain open, right? To the extent that an onslaught of what it is that you don't want, and this is getting back to like, you know, classic Law of Attraction and in Transurfing, you know, we attract We, we attract exactly what we think of, right? And the problem is, is most people are thinking about the negative. So if I think to myself, I don't ever want to, I don't ever want to experience that ever again, I am, I never want to be in that scenario again, yet my consciousness does not support the ability to understand when I just invited someone in that's capable of that, and then I'm also focused on not wanting that to ever happen again. Duh.

Yeah, but you're still— but you're still focusing on the thing. This is why you don't get what you want. You get what you are, and what you are, what you focus on. Yes, another part of the equation: you are what you focus on, you get what you are. Right, so focus on something, I become the thing that I— because I become the thing I focus on. If I focus on health and mental health, physical health, beauty, uh, productiveness, flow, uh, joy. Eventually, because there's always a lag between the mirror and what actually happens, because the mirror only ever shows you your past. So you don't look at the mirror. Stop looking at the mirror. You go back into yourself. You go center screen on everything. Center screen. Align the line. Turn away from the mirror. Close your eyes to the mirror and go center screen and say, Okay, my support, my point of power is now. I will take accountability for what I'm experiencing now. I don't have to keep ideating the past. I don't have to keep bringing that up. I don't have to keep bringing up all the injustices, all the horrors, all the nastiness. No, I will now, I will now slide. Yes, I will now create a slide. What's, what's the, what's the vision of the life that I want? And you might need help with that.

You might need some time.

You need time, information, information. You might need somebody to help you support in that process, but that's where you need to be. And then the next thing is, okay. And then when you're feeling it, that's when you open your eyes. Yes.. And then, oh, all of a sudden your life is improved. And then you'll think, oh, then you can use the feedback as positive. Smiley face in mirror, smiling. Oh, that made me happy. Oh, smiley more. Smiley, smiley. He's keeping smiley. Or instead of what you look at, somebody's petting me rather than hitting me.

How enjoyable.

Yes, exactly. How, what did you, how, what a surprise. I'm in a different state of being and now the the mirror world is reflecting that different, say, being. So tell us, and tell us millions of viewers, uh, Renee, how do you take accountability? What are the steps that you take to take accountability?

Well, I think that, um, my first step, and I haven't had time to think of this, so I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna talk, I'm just gonna talk about what comes to me like immediately. I think that first of all is the power in understanding when I find myself in a space where I seek to defend myself for some reason, right? So let's say my partner says, oh, Renee, you know, you've really been, um, you know, you've been slacking on the housework because you've been working so much, or you, you know, we had this thing and you canceled it, or whatever. Or maybe it's something with somebody not being happy with me professionally, whatever it is.

Something you're putting— you're putting— you're put in a position where you have to justify yourself or defend yourself.

Yes. So, so my first, my first step is I wake up as soon as I, I feel that sensation that I have to defend myself for some reason, because usually when I get to that place where I have to defend myself, this is me completely disregarding the mirror and tapping into a space where they've got it wrong and I need to begin to tell them why exactly they have it wrong, right? So as soon as I sense that in me, a red buzzer goes off now and goes, warning, warning, warning, you are attempting to comb your hair in the mirror image. You are going to attempt with your energy and your thoughts and your actions to try to influence what it is you are experiencing in that way, rather than you stopping and actually combing your hair physically. So the biggest, biggest step for me is acknowledging exactly when I find myself in one of these situations. And then it's pretty easy. I mean, Getting back to like, you know, partner coming at me or professional person coming at me for some reason. I mean, I've gotten pretty good at stuff now where it doesn't actually get to that point very often. It used to get to that point all the time, but now it's, you know, it's seldom. But when it does, I just stop and I say, if it's a person, it's really easy. Because I imagine that the person is the mirror, and I stop and I say to myself, listen, Renee, you dumb motherfucker, your mirror is trying to tell you something right now. And instead of putting your hands up like this or attempting to fix the image in the mirror, listen to what your mirror is telling you, and you might gain some insight about a rough edge of yours that could use a little more refining, right?

So, okay, so get— so let's play this out a little bit. Yeah, I'll play the role of the accusing partner. Renee, you haven't done— you're, you're really slacking off on the housework. I know you were working hard, but I feel as if I'm, I'm pulling all the weight here. You need to pull some of your own weight too because I'm also working.

Yes.

Right. So what's then— what, how do you respond to that? So, so rather than reacting—

yeah, I was going to go into the reaction.

Okay, talk about it.

You actually triggered me just now, Xavier.

I mean, excuse me, pardon me for breathing. Oh, now I'm getting defensive. Oh, there's— oh, I see where this is going. Oh, oh, induced transition. Feeling the deuce transition coming on. Oh no, oh no, here I go again.

Everybody's getting triggered.

Yeah, we're all getting triggered. Oh no, here I go. Ah, I'm gonna run off the screen. Ah, ah, ah, big oscillation, big oscillation. Quick, get control of yourself.

Yeah, stabilize in the alternatives.

Stabilize, stable, stable. Find a life track. Okay. Oh, where are you? There you are.

There you are.

Way back in the lineman.

You know, it's funny. It's funny that you— it's funny that you, you just did that because that's kind of what it feels like when I come to this realization. You know, I'm thrown off because I'm triggered. I seek to defend myself. Then I realize that that's not the— that's not what's going to help me. What's going to help me is to listen. But there is this oscillation in And it could even be just a short period of time, like 15 seconds or a minute or whatever. But it's about finding your equilibrium very, very quickly and just listening. And what I like to do is this, is I like to imagine when I am in any exchange with anyone for any reason, my recent business exchange that I had, Xavier, that you know about, I practice it, I practice it in, in the moment to the best of my ability. What I imagine is that the other person talking and telling their case, explaining their perspective, justifications, or their— what, what it is they're doing, their position, their position, their position. I imagine that it's me Right? I imagine that it's me and I'm saying those things to someone else, and then I respond accordingly. How would I feel if I'm in that position? And what would I like to see if I were in that position bringing those grievances or whatever they are? To a scenario. So, so then all of a sudden my little butt hurt, you know, like triggered, uh, narrowed perspective, all of a sudden—

reactive self—

yes, reactive self— all of a sudden it's, it's wide open. I'm me, but I'm also them, right? I can see the scenario from an objective perspective And this allows me to approach with my response that I would want to experience if I were on the other side.

And I think, well, you're, yeah, you're experiencing something with multiple subjectivity. This, it strikes me as being the exact opposite of narcissism. It's because narcissism is about the inability to to empathize with other people because you're so wrapped up in yourself. You are— you're— what you're demonstrating in that is the exact opposite of that. It's the ability to say, wait a minute, I'm not the only consciousness here. Yes. Why don't I put myself in the position of that person for a moment, experience them, so I know what that feels like and why the thoughts are there.

Yes.

And then just make a decision from that point. So what's the next point? What's the next stage after that?

Once you've stepped in, what I like to do is I like to deeply, I like to deeply listen to what the other person's saying. And I like to, I like, what I like to do is, um, I essentially divide the information into two different piles. The first pile is information that aligns or corresponds to information that I have heard previously. I'm the common denominator, right? I'm the common denominator. So, so if I'm hearing my partner say, hey, you have this propensity to neglect things around the house when you go into full center screen mode and you're working 15-hour days. I think to myself, have I heard this before? Why, yes, I actually have heard this many, many times from a number of people. So this dude's not blowing fucking hot air. He's telling me something that I have been resisting. Now, what I do with the information at that point It's kind of like, I try to, what I try to do is I try a balanced approach by, okay, is there a way, first of all, do I see something wrong with that particular behavior in the scenario? This one being neglecting the housework because I'm in center screen mode for 15 hours a day.

You're in a flow state of work.

I'm in a flow state of work.

Is there gifts to give?

Yes. If, do I really feel that it's a problem that needs rapid resolution and resolve? Do I need to get in there and really do something? Or, and also too, does he really care that much about the housework or is it that he just wants me to understand his perspective, his plight, his, what, how it's inconveniencing him? And is there a place where I can allow myself to be me, allow him to be himself and find a place in the middle, right? Can I do something?

Yes. What slide could we create here that would satisfy both of us?

Exactly, exactly. That's me taking accountability in a way that I'm comfortable where I'm not overgiving and I'm not having to polish or refine parts of myself down too low to where I'm no longer me. I like me. But I also wanna live in a harmonious environment. So I'm willing to, I'm, I'm willing to work the situation in kind of a dynamic way where I'm taking myself into consideration and also taking the other person into consideration. So the first pile that, that, that, that I throw information into is, is there corresponding information or have I heard this before? Is this something that's continuing, am I the common denominator? Obviously I am. And then I try to get in there and accept the accountability that I can that will help the situation to resolve to the best of its ability. And then the other pile is, that's not my shit.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying? That's not my shit.

And there's also— You're creating way too much importance about this. This is like some— this is about your trigger more than me.

Exactly.

You're making, you're making a call on, on that sort of stuff.

But there is also a, a very defined level of accountability when it comes to other people bringing their shit to me that I can determine isn't about me, or it's not my place to try to do something in that space. Now I can still listen, but I have to take accountability for what's mine and also take accountability for what isn't mine and allow the other person their experience without necessarily feeling triggered to get involved. Getting involved in some way where, you know, it's going to create some passive-aggressive thing because it wasn't my thing to begin with, all sorts of— and I know this for myself because this is what I used to do. I'm a classic scapegoat in the family. People come to me with their problems. And for the majority of my life, I would take on everything, everything, everything, everything. And it would run me into the ground and cause all sorts of problems and imbalances. So now it is just as much my duty to take accountability when something is not mine than when it is mine. You know what I'm saying?

So, so this is a process of this, but part of the process of accountability, you're taking accountability for yourself, you're taking accountability for others, and you're also going through a process of discernment.

Yes.

What's my pendulum? What's not my pendulum?

Yes.

That's not my pendulum. That's having to do with you. I have not asked that of you. I have not required that of you. You have put yourself— that often happens. I often find myself in situations where people have projected stuff onto me and they say, but I— or I don't remember a classic situation somewhere. A friend of mine once said, I do all of this stuff and you don't appreciate it. And I said, hey, A, you're right, I don't appreciate it. B, I never asked this of you. C, I can live without it.

Yes.

You're putting this out like something that's of great value to you, but you never consulted me about whether or not I thought of it was of any value.

Yes.

You're doing it for me. Well, no, you're doing it because you think maybe that's what I want, or less generously, you're doing it because you feel the need to do it and you need to justify doing it, and you're using me to justify doing this. That I have not asked for, that I do not want, and that I don't need.

Yes.

And coming to look at that.

Yeah. Coming to the situation with an expectation that you're going to take that thing.

Yes. While, while, while, while at the same time telling me that you have no expectations.

Yeah, exactly.

How screwy is that? So we end up having a conversation where I make my boundaries very clear. Feel free to continue doing this as you like, but if you don't do it, I won't miss it.

Yes.

So don't continue to pretend that you're doing this for me, because you're not doing it for me. You can continue doing it for yourself, but don't put that on me. Not my pendulum. Yeah, I didn't have language back then. I didn't have that language back then, but that's what— that's what goes through my head now. Yeah, it hasn't got my name on it, not my pendulum.

Yes. And this is— this is—

so accountability is two-way. It's not just about your own accountability. It's something— it's accounting for other people and what they're doing and how they're doing it.

Yeah. Create your own reality or one will be created for you. You— it is absolutely crucial to be able to understand and call out when you are allowing someone else to create a reality for you, and you are choosing to buy into that version of reality. I'm very steadfast in my version of reality that I'm currently experiencing because I've spent a lot of time tailoring this reality, and I'm not about ready to let somebody come in and be like, no, no, no, this is the real reality, and you know, you need to do this and you need to be like this and all these things, I'm like, no, this is my version of reality, that this is how I understand it. That's your version of reality, that's how you understand it. It doesn't mean that I don't take accountability when I'm wrong, but I— there's— I definitely have a line in the sand, you know.

And yeah, and then, and, you know, from a wider perspective, you need to take take account again of the space that you're creating. I have created a space through either neglect or inattention where I— where you have allowed— where you have allowed yourself to spin into this thing, right?

Yes.

I didn't even notice that you were spinning your way in there. I made a classic mistake with the same person that I'm alluding to, uh, that, um, years ago. I'm sorry, I'm recording. This is like, hello, can you please respect my boundaries? When you have a conversation, I go out there and now it's getting even worse because I'm so agitated that my poor godson is now throwing stuff all over the place, making even more noise just because I'm just asserting a boundary here.

Balancing forces.

Balancing forces, right? I just kept, I was going to go into, I was going to go into a negative rant there because like, dude.

A negative tsunami.

The negative, right? Dude, can't you see that I'm working here?

Right? Dude, I'm walking here.

I'm working. Right? Perfect example of what we were talking about of establishing a boundary politely and assertively, but I was, he was already in the process of complying, but I agitated him so much.

Like, back up off my, it's like, back up off my layer of reality, yo.

Yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm do, I'm trying my best here, but no, clunk, clunk, crash, crash. And I'm thinking, Oh God, I've done— I'm overdoing it. You have to be aware of your own power in the situation.

Yes, you really have to.

Sometimes it's just a light touch. It's—

yes, exactly. So I have a question for you. Um, this is kind of on— this is kind of on my mind. I'm curious what, what your— what your answer or take on this, this idea is. But so we talked about, um, We talked about taking accountability primarily in regards to— primarily in regards to relationships, right? And, you know, especially if there's something that's off balance, you know, abuse or something that really isn't suitable for you in your layer of reality, and taking accountability to the extent where you can start to raise your level of consciousness about why you are in that situation in the first place and how to get yourself to a better version of reality without the presence of whatever the imbalance is. But I know from my experience the last 6 years in doing this is a lot of people come to me with complaints, for a lack of better word, and grievances against the world and society.

The world and society.

Yes, the world and society because of their financial status, right?

Oh, money again.

Oh, money again. Exactly.

But a lot of people, a lot of people— I think we need to do another podcast about and call it Oh Money Again.

Oh Money Again. But like a lot of people do feel victimized by the financial system, right? That maybe like, okay, for me, for me, and, and, and I mean, this is why I can speak to this. For a long time before I figured out how to make money, I definitely was like in this woe is me You know, I'm uneducated. I don't have any skills. Goddamn it. Why did I need to be born into, you know, a family that didn't nurture me or help me to flourish in a positive direction? And I definitely held a victim mentality about my financial stability, my financial wherewithal, all that kind of stuff. So How does somebody accept accountability for— so let me give you an example. There was a woman—

I'm still waiting for the question.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like it's going on and on like an epic. I'm wondering if there's a question.

I know, there will be a question. There will be a question.

But you see, the reason it's rambling is because Renee is in the— you're actually seeing Renee in the process of aligning the various Yes. Aspects so that you can get the right question.

Yes, I'm trying to.

Yeah. This is the alignment process of live.

Yes, this is the alignment process live. So, so this, this woman was in, this woman was in the Facebook group right around, you know, I don't know, 4 or 5 months into the pandemic. And she, I can't remember what the post was about, if it was a comment or she made a post, but I saw this thing from her that said, you know, oh, my business was already having trouble, um, but then after COVID struck, um, I filed for bankruptcy. I lost what little clients that I had. Well, thanks a lot, COVID, you know. And I remember seeing this and thinking, oh my God, she's got, she's got victim mentality about her finances and COVID. So how does someone right in this moment in space and time that feels as though they have been victimized in circumstances in life to an extent that has led them up to a point where they feel as though they do not have what it is that they have that they want, and they feel victimized by circumstances, situation, COVID, whatever it is, How does somebody in that moment wake up to, I'm gonna take accountability for this now. I'm gonna take accountability for this now. And I am going to turn it around and start the process. If there's a situation where they're devolving, right? Going into induced transition more and more and more, I'm gonna start the process of like halting myself there. Reversing myself out of the induced transition, getting myself up to ground level, and starting the process of accessing the Wave of Success instead. How does one take accountability for a scenario such as this that is finding themselves at this place in space and time? How do you—

That's the question.

That's the question. Yes.

Okay. So, all right. No, no, no, it's no. But questions are easier to ask than answering them, so bear with me if this is an extended answer. This is how it works. Let's talk, let's talk in a parable. The woman is basically saying, I'm a fisherman, my fishing boat was already leaking, it wasn't very well built. Then along came this big storm and 'completely trashed the boat. Holding on to a bit of wood from the wreckage of my boat, I managed to make it back ashore barely alive. Thanks so much, storm.' Yes, right, that's her own admission. By her own admission, she had set up something that wasn't working. She had been built— she built a machine that didn't work properly. And she was blaming the storm for an inefficiently built machine.

Yes.

Right? She had— she's a fisherman with a fishing boat, but the fishing boat wasn't well built. It broke apart in the storm. It would have broken apart anyway.

Yes.

Unless she'd learned how to build a better boat. So what does the fisherman do when there's a storm raging and the fisherman can't fish? The fisherman is on shore. The fisherman starts mending nets. The fisherman starts taking accountability of their skill level and ask themselves, how can I be a better fisherman? Or even better question, why am I a fisherman? Why have I chosen to fish rather than to hunt or to grow crops? Why am I not a farmer? Why am I not a somebody who— a shepherd? Why have I chosen out of the options available to me? Or maybe there are other options that don't involve being in the primary industries in the first place.

Yeah, this is what I teach in my Mo Money course is like exactly this. Bring your boat ashore and figure out a new thing to do.

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Look, I'm gonna— big confession time here. It took me years to work out because I had this core belief that making money was an unpleasant experience, that the pro— that there wasn't a way of making money in the world that I would find pleasant. All jobs sucked.

Mm-hmm.

Because I— and as long as I had the belief that all jobs sucked, I was filtering out the possibility of jobs that didn't suck. And by job, I don't mean necessarily employed work. I mean, you can self-create work, right? I had to ask myself, Xavier, your priority has always been to feel good. You don't want to be feeling bad because you had a crappy— you had a crappy childhood where you were feeling bad a lot of the time, and you would— and you were stuffed if you were going to continue feeling bad as an adult, because your adulthood was going to be much longer than your childhood. But at least in your adulthood, you had a certain amount of power to experience a different sort of reality. So to that woman, I would say, what do you enjoy? I understand that you have to put food on the table at the moment, but just do the minimum necessary to put food on the table, even if you're working a crappy job. But while you're working that crappy job, set a limit on what that crappy job is for. This is a means to an end. This is just to put food in my belly, roof over my head, clothes on my back. Keep the electricity running and the water running by minimal needs so that I can then spend the time necessary to work out who I am and to work out my optimal life track.

Figure out how to weave a net.

Or decide that you're not very good at weaving nets anyway, so you might as well learn the art of shepherding.

Yeah.

Or go— or making the journey to the big city and learning, and learning by accident that you have a talent that you didn't even know was aware— were aware of. Now, obviously there are limits here. We haven't yet had our podcast about the limits of Transurfing, but that's enough for— that's another point. But for example, imagine that you're in the Middle Ages and you have everything in your talent every talent, every mindset, everything possible that would make you a really, really great computer programmer. But you're living in the Middle Ages.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Computers don't exist yet. There is no material means in which you can express that talent to its fullest potential. You would think at that level you're stuffed. There are people— some of the millions of people watching this are going to think, I think I've always had the feeling I was born before my time. I've always had the feeling that I have talents and abilities, but the material means to express those and to make them— and to make further materializations possible don't exist yet. To which I can only say, given the world is— if you want to play the game of the world There has never been a time in history when there have been more options open to people.

Yeah, God ain't that the truth, right?

They really are. The—

you can make a career from sitting at home in front of your computer.

Exactly. You can make it if you find a way of doing it. And the point is, well, how do I find a way? You start asking questions. Look at other people. They might not be the questions that— the answers that you're looking for, but they'll lead you further on the path. Anomalous action. We've got a whole course coming up on this.

Yes.

You can't expect to do the same thing in the same context all the time and get a different result. You can do this— a different thing in the same context, and maybe you'll get a different result. Or you can do the same thing that you've been doing all this time but find a new context in which do it in, and you'll get a different result. But you're not going to get a different result by doing— playing the same game in the same field all the time. In the same—

you got to take accountability for—

you've got to take accountability—

actions.

Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, for anomalous actions, which are anomalous actions, the anomalous actions that you do all the time. And then you say, okay, fine. So going back to this woman, my business was already failing. Why was it failing? Because you weren't providing a product or service that people actually wanted in the way that they wanted it. Yes. Build a better mousetrap and the world will run to your door. So build a mousetrap, become an expert in mousetrap design, effective, but also understand the difference between self and tribe. And this is a crucial thing that people have to understand. Give you a story from my career in, in, as being, uh, in the literary world. People have come to me with ideas for a book. They pay me $500 to assess their book. I come back to them with something that takes me 10 minutes to do. Why have they spent $500 of their money for me to give you them 10— something that took them 10 minutes? Because they— because I'm going to give them a lesson that, that, that makes that $500 cheap. Because if they get by the lesson that I've got to tell them, they're going to save themselves hundreds and thousands, possibly thousands of hours of work, and hundreds, more probably thousands of dollars of wasted effort. And I'm going to give this to everybody now for free. So if people come to me now wanting advice on book writing, you're going to get at least this thing for free. This guy came to me with this idea for a book about doing a particular craft idea. I wrote back my report about what I thought about the idea, and I said, I spent 10 minutes on the internet and I got everything that's in your book for free. Why would anybody with internet access spend $20 on your book. Yeah, it's like the parable of the, uh, guy who writes the book on cuckoo clock repair. It might be the world's best book on cuckoo clock repair. It might be the Bible of cuckoo clock repair. It's got to be the definitive last word on cuckoo clock repair. Yes, it could be every cuckoo clock repairer on earth is going to say, that's the best book on cuckoo clock repair I've ever read, it's brilliant. Do you see a book on cuckoo clock repair leaping off the bookshelves? Do you see that book going on the Times bestseller list? I don't. So why not? Because the person got so wrapped up in creating their own reality that they forgot that when you're playing the game of commerce and of business, you got to take others into consideration. You got to take the consideration of what do other people actually want? Yes. What do they actually need? It seems like such an obvious thing, but this guy had spent all of this time writing a book on this craft idea, and I said, dude, dude, Yeah, dude, it ain't—

I can't go for that, as Holland Els would say. I can't go for that. It's not— nobody, nobody cares. Nobody's gonna go for that because nobody cares.

Yeah, and this was— and this was in the years before when people not— it wasn't as universal it was now. But a kid— yeah, but a kid can do something. A kid can look up all sorts of stuff, including a lot of pornography, and get a free sex education as well.

Yeah, I mean, at this point, but there's a lot of different things that people want. Like, it's just, you're, you're totally right. You've got to take accountability. And this is where I, you know, this is where I try to lead people when they come to me saying, you know, I need more money. I'm like, stop thinking about what you need to stop thinking about you and start thinking about other people and what they need. And your solution's in there.

And that helps, and that helps you compose the slide. Yes, you can compose the slide in which you're interacting with the people you don't even know, and they're telling you, this is a great idea, let me pay you a lot of— let me pay you for this. And you just, you play that slide over and over again. You imagine people giving you money in exchange for something. You can recreate the feeling of what it's like to create something of value that other people exchange money for. Right. And then you let that slide go, and then you open yourself up to higher awareness, and you say, okay, higher awareness, I'm ready for inspiration. And then suddenly inspirational thoughts start filtering through your filter and opportunities and opportunities. And all of a sudden, and then, and then you would take your willingness to take an anomalous action.

Yeah.

All right.

There it is.

I've never done, I've never done this before, but obviously I can't get there from here. But this call, the siren call to do something else is calling me. But I, and I'll go there and I will be able to get there from this new place.

Yes.

And it's simple. It's so simple in principle. It's just really tricky in practice because it requires, it's a lot of work to get to sort out all of your crap before you can achieve that level of consciousness to be able to start doing that. To be able to remove an idea like every way of making money is unpleasant until suddenly you find one day that you're making money from something that you don't actually mind doing.

Yes.

And you think, oh yeah, I can continue doing this. And even if all the energy you can muster is, at least I don't mind, at least I don't hate myself every minute of the day doing this for a moderate amount of money that at least fulfills my needs. And then it's a better way of subsistence before you find the big thing. The thing that utterly uses all of your resources, that you totally get turned on by it, that you look forward to every day, and all of a sudden people start paying you money for something that you really love doing.

I love it. Wow, that's, that's taking accountability.

That's taking accountability. And that's, and which brings us back to the power of the topic, the topic, this, the, the label, the title of this podcast. It's the power of accountability.

Yes, what accountability will do for you.

Yes, exactly. The power of accountability lies in, in accountability's ability to help your responsibility, your ability to respond to a situation rather than to react to it, to look at it, to look at it analytically and to say, who am I? Who am I that I am allowing the space for this stuff that I don't like to happen. A part of me has already decided what the solution is, and that exists in the alternative space. Now the question is, how do I change myself to open myself up so that that alternative space life path, lifeline, world line, and I align with each other, and then I can start walking that walk? That's, that's what this is all about.

Love it. Well, where this, where this leaves, where this leaves me is I think we should do another money podcast. I think that should be our next one. We should do another.

We should drive, which will elaborate, which, which will elaborate on the things that we've said.

Yes. I think that's a, I think that's an excellent, um, an excellent choice because money pushes so many buttons.

It just does. Because it's all about survival.

As we learned with the money podcast and the response from money.

Exactly. It's about survival. It's about survival. Anything that triggers survival anxieties is going to be a big trigger. It's going to induce transitions left, right, and center, up and down and side to side.

So why don't we make our next podcast specifically coming out of a money-induced transition to the Wave of Success.

Sure. And for the millions of people watching it, please don't overwhelm us with suggestions, but by all means, if you want us to deal with something specifically in that podcast, let—

Down below. Down below. Put it there.

Put it there. Say, "We want this." I mean, it's nice to get comments of how wonderful we are, but it doesn't— and that's lovely, and I really appreciate being appreciated. Renee appreciates being appreciated. But at the end of the day, give us something that we can use to help other people in your position.

Okay, give us, give us, give us, give us.

We want this.

Help us to help you.

I felt— yes, yes, help us to help you. There was a fellow who posted something recently. He, he was specifically requested, um, positive-induced transitions. So let's talk about— yes, do you remember that one?

Yep. Sure do. Jonah.

So let's, so let's, yeah, so let's show up for him and for everybody else who wanted that question that didn't need to be asked because he asked it. And let's just say, okay, positive in positive induced transitions in a monetary context, or yes, money and positive induced transitions.

Love it. That'll be the next one.

Positively induced money transitions. We'll get there somewhere.

I'm aligning.

I'm, this is the process. Of alignment.

Yes, we're a live alignment.

This is basically what it is. How do— and as far as money is concerned, positive induced transitions. And then we can talk about other positive induced transitions with money.

Sounds good to me. All right, everybody. Thank you for tuning in.

Has this been useful? I hope it's been useful.

I think it has been. I think it has been. That was another feather in your cap for sure. I liked it. I liked it.

That's me tuning into my heart.

Thank you for tuning in, everyone, to this episode of Reality Transplaining, and catch us on the next round. Bye, y'all. Bye.