In this solo talk on Transurfing TV, Renee Garcia challenges the common spiritual stigma that ego is inherently negative. She begins by questioning the vague accusations that her ego is “out of control,” then offers the Oxford Dictionary definition of ego as the mind’s mediator between conscious and unconscious, responsible for reality testing and personal identity. Garcia argues that ego can be positive when it stems from the higher self and aligns with one’s Soul Fraile, allowing authentic individuality to shine without harming others. She contrasts this with a lower‑self ego, which she experienced in her 20s and early 30s, describing how it led to self‑destruction, unhealthy relationships, and a nervous breakdown. After a humbling crisis, she rebuilt a higher‑self ego that adds value to her relationships and supports others’ growth. Throughout, she provides reflective questions for viewers to assess whether their ego is evolving, thriving, and healthy, whether it benefits others or is toxic, and whether they are being forced into “toxic alignment” by others. Garcia differentiates healthy ego from narcissism, emphasizing that feeling good about oneself and expressing individuality is not narcissistic as long as it does not harm or disrupt others. She concludes by urging viewers to embrace a positive ego that serves both personal development and the well‑being of their surrounding reality.
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Okay. So, I'll be the first to admit— confession time! This is when other people in your life do not like the ways in which you're operating. Hello, hello, hello, Transurfer and the Transurfing curious! My name is Renee Garcia, y'all, and this is Transurfing TV! And today on Transurfing TV, I'm gonna do a little pep talk on ego. I know, like, it's kind of this funny thing that ego is very frowned down upon in the spiritual community. I know I've been accused a lot of working too much with ego. And to be honest, I don't even know what that means. I really don't even know what that means. I've had people— there was somebody the other day that was like, "Your ego is out of control!" And I was like, "What does that mean exactly?" I don't know if even most people know what that means. So, I actually looked up the definition of ego, like how— How silly is that, that I don't even know what the actual definition of it is? I mean, I know how it's aligned in the spiritual and self-development community, like to what characteristics. Obviously, it's heavily aligned to narcissism and selfishness and that sort of thing. But I never really knew the actual definition to ego. So, it says here in the Oxford Dictionary, "The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious, and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity." So, that really got me to thinking. And I started to realize that ego is a good thing, if it's done right. Ego is a good thing if it's done right. If you are— dial into your Soul Fraile to an extent that your individuality, the person that you truly are as an individual, if that's coming out in a way that is outlandish and outrageous and over the top, Or, you know, as my ego, obviously, is very good at defying standards of Pendulums. This is why my ego is really getting called out in this community, is because I am defying standards because of who I am as an individual. And I will talk about this more in a moment. And others are attempting to get me to toxically align to either— I don't think they're dialed to their Soul Fraile, but who they are, their belief system, their ideas of reality. And if my ideas conflict too much with theirs, then the immediate response is, "Oh, well, you're working too much with ego!" So, I'm here to say, "Yeah! Fuck it! I am! I am working with ego here!" But I am doing ego the right way. Whereas I think, more or less, a lot of people, I know some of them that are really rocking egos, it's the ego of the lower self rather than the higher self. And I'm gonna really break this all down for anyone who's interested. I hope there's a couple of haters watching right now. Before I get started, remember to like this video, comment below, question. I'm sure this will be a good comment thread. And follow us on the Facebook group, the International Transurfing Institute. Dude, Facebook group! Follow me on Instagram! Course links below! Shirts, such as these awesome bad boys right here! Bear the mark of the beast, as I say! I actually got this tattooed! Check this out! I mean, it's really light, because I got it super, super teal. Maybe if I back away a little bit. But yeah, it's my latest tattoo. I actually got my logo tattooed on my body, right above my "Drop Importance" tattoo. So, anyway, let's do it, y'all! Doing ego right. So, these are some questions to ask yourself. And I really, again, as I just touched on, I think there is a vast difference between ego of lower self and ego of higher self. So, if you've ever been accused of having an ego, or you're being accused of having an ego now, Ask yourself, are you evolving, thriving, and healthy? Okay. So, I'll be the first to admit— confession time! I had ego when I was younger, like in my 20s. And my 30s, my ego started to really get broken down before I had my massive nervous breakdown in my mid-30s, which was almost 7 years ago. My ego was pretty broken down at that point. I had, like, negative ego. I was feeling really bad about myself. And I was very humbled by life and a big experience, a big thing, big traumatic event that happened to me, which kinda dissolved that egotistical mode I was operating in of lower self that had built up from the time that I was about 26 until about 35. So, what happened was I wasn't evolving, I wasn't thriving, I wasn't healthy, I wasn't dialed to my Soul Fraile, I wasn't aligned, I wasn't in healthy relationships. And I used my lower self ego to fortify how shitty I felt as a human being. So, this looked like me not being aligned, yet I was giving off the vibe constantly that I was rocking it, I was owning my life, I was living life well, I was successful, and all these things. But then, like, I would go home from my office and I would feel like shit, and I'd hate myself. And I'd abuse myself with shitty relationships and low thinking, and all that kind of stuff. So, that ego that people were seeing in my layer of reality was definitely not the ego of Higher Self. This was the ego of lower Renee. And again, the opposite of evolving, thriving, healthy, and all that. And thank God I had the experience that I did that humbled me to the extent— that my lower self ego dissolved, and out of that, I had to grow a new ego, which is rooted in much different things now that are actually beneficial to me and my layer of reality, and others, which is what I will talk about now. So, 2, are you toxic or of value in others' lives? So, a lot of times, I think when the term, like, "ego" is thrown around, it pertains to how it affects others. And, you know, again, I feel like I'm rocking ego right, right now. But when I step back and I look at the people in my life, I think, "Is my way of operating, is my connection with my external environment and the people within it, Is it, again, evolving, thriving, healthy? Are the people that are connected to me, are those relationships evolving, thriving, and healthy? So, I have detached from relationships— and I'll talk about this in a moment— that others were attempting to get me to toxically align to their belief system, Those ones are gone, because in that case, my ego, even if it is the ego of Higher Self, it was causing dysfunction and chaos in my layer of reality, because it didn't align to what it was that they wanted to see as the predominant frequency, or how a relationship goes in their layer of reality. My mom is the perfect example. She did not want to see me feeling good about myself. She did not want to see me functioning. She did not want to see me speaking out against, you know, programming and old beliefs and all that stuff, because her ego doesn't want to accept certain things, so she would go about attacking mine. So, for me, now, my layer of reality— is free of anyone that my ego rubs the wrong way, for the wrong reasons. And again, if you didn't get that video, 'Toxic Alignment,' I would definitely go back and take a look. It's a very good parallel to this video today. So, now, I make certain that the people in my life are benefiting from my ego. And if my ego ever starts to stray a little bit to where it is rubbing someone the wrong way, this is definitely acknowledged. I do not want my ego to ever affect anyone in a negative way. But again, I think that, for the most part, pertaining to the people in my reality, this is ego done right. I'm offering benefit and value. And yeah, my boyfriend thinks I'm really fucking over the top, but you know what? He's thriving, he's healthy, and he's really appreciative of our thriving, healthy relationship where I'm giving him, via my ego, things that he can use or take into his layer of reality to assist him in ascending to some of those higher levels of reality. So, number 3, who's at the helm? This gets back to— Is your ego from your lower self, or is your ego stemming from your higher self? Again, I think ego is thrown around in this very, very, very negative way. And I could totally be wrong. You guys have to remember that before coming to Reality Transurfing, I was not in the world of self-development at all. Modern psychology, outside of therapy, spiritual modalities, all of this stuff is completely foreign to me. So, me talking about ego is just from my personal experience and interpretation of the word. How it is classically perceived, beyond just my basic interpretation, I'm not really privy to this knowledge. So, definitely educate me below if I'm missing something, or if you think that I've got something wrong, because I would love to hear your thoughts. So, Again, who's at the helm? Is it the lower self, which I believe is why our culture frowns down upon a person working from their ego, because it's mostly done from the lower self? Or is your ego rooted in higher self and your Soul Fraile, which is coming out of you in a way that others could probably be like, "Oh my God! That person's got ego! That's bad! That's bad!" But I think it's a good idea here, to differentiate the two, right? It's really valuable to differentiate the two. 4, are others getting you, or attempting to get you, to toxically align? So, again, go back and take a look at that video. This is when other people in your life do not like the ways in which you're operating. This is when your frequency begins to change, or you begin to act out of character, or you begin to disrupt the Script, to an extent that the person feels the need, or the people feel the need to get you to file your place back in line and adhere to their standards, or what it is they are coordinated about. Right? So, a lot of times, I think when this term is thrown out, "You're acting egotistically!" What the person saying this— and especially when haters say this to me, What the person is saying is, "You do not align with how I feel a person should act or think or be, yet you're overflowing in your own ways in which I don't agree with, so you're being egotistical." Right? "You're being egotistical." It's when your voice or your characteristics, or your modus operandi is louder and more colorful than theirs, and they don't agree with it. So, they're like, "Oh, you're being egotistical!" And it's kinda like, "Mm, well, I mean, let's take a step back here and really assess and unpack this. Am I being egotistical, or do you just not like my colorful ways of operating?" Because, again, if I'm evolving, thriving, and healthy, and the people in my life are benefiting from their relationship with me, and we're aligned to the extent where I'm allowed to be as colorful and, you know, "Ahh!" as I wanna be, who is it hurting? And— for a person to say, "You're being egotistical," is it maybe that I'm just not aligned with the stuff that you've got going on? So, this is a good question to ask of yourself, and it's a good question to ask of others, right? So, like, are you seeing someone that you deem egotistical, "Maybe it's me," and then you say that, "Is it just that I'm not aligning to your standards?" in a colorful— way. And then, again, how that benefits you is, are you dialed to your Soul Fraile and parts of you are starting to come out in a colorful way, and your reality's pushing back on that and telling you you're egotistical, trying to get you to toxically align or adhere to their standards, and then you stop yourself and say, "Oh, yeah, I shouldn't do that. That's egotistical." Tell them that they can fuck off, right? You're allowed to be you, as long as you're evolving, thriving, healthy, and your relationships— and again, if the person isn't happy with you acting like that, is it just because they don't feel good about themselves, therefore they don't wanna see you feel good about yourself in a colorful way? Are they attempting to get you to toxically align? So, 5, as I wrap this video up, what direction does your ego go? So, this is a really, really valuable point. I touched on it at the beginning of this video. My ego before, my nervous breakdown, my humbling, the reckoning, as I call it, this very humbling experience that dissolved a lot of that past and lower self. This version of me was egotistical in ways that were aligned to that downward and back version of thinking, thinking about things that I didn't like, what I didn't like, who I didn't like, what wasn't working, what I wasn't good at, and then trying to overcompensate out of ego in the direction of that lower-thinking self, downward and back, This is not good. So, what this could classically look like. Now, the majority of my destruction, my self-destruction— well, the majority of my destruction was self-destruction. This was me, again, abusing myself. If I didn't feel good about myself, if I was aligned to that lower self, I'm rocking that lower ego, and I was getting this idea that things weren't right and I wasn't living the right way, this would manifest or perpetuate internally as self-destruction. Now, a lot of people go the opposite way and become destructive of the other people in their lives. This could be somebody that's got a problem with drugs, has a hard time taking accountability for themselves, yet they're extremely condescending and judgmental of other people. This is operating from— the ego and it not being in a healthy way, right? So, what direction your ego is operating in, if you are rocking some ego, this is a really valuable point to pay attention to. Are you being harsh on others? This could— and I've heard this a lot in this community, of people, like, wanting to— have others buy into what they found, like Reality Transurfing. Like, I've had some messages from people saying, "My husband just won't listen to my Reality Transurfing stuff!" So, if you're like hammering on somebody that they need to toxically align to information that you found that you deem important for you, this is you rocking an ego in a negative direction. Positive ego, ego done right, is you learning how to express yourself and your individuality in whatever ways that you want to in your life, as long as they don't hurt anyone, or more valuably, it's helping people, right? It's helping people. So, I know Transurfing has been accused of being the modality for the narcissist, and I've actually talked a lot about— narcissism on this channel, and how Reality Transurfing really isn't about narcissism. Narcissism is when someone is rocking this, like, this self, but an absolute bull in a china shop, not being concerned about their environment or others, or any of that kind of stuff. Healthy self-esteem, Feeling good about who you are as an individual, as long as you are not hurting anyone, you can absolutely have at it! You can do anything that you wanna do within your layer of reality using this knowledge, and rock whoever it is you are, as long as you're not hurting anyone. When you're not taking others into consideration, when you're harming other people, when you're creating chaos wherever you're going, when you are toxic and you're causing dysfunction in your relationships, this is narcissism. Feeling good about yourself, becoming the individual that you have in you, your Soul Fraile, aligning to that and letting that come out in the ways that you deem— valuable for your layer of reality, this is not narcissism, this is feeling good about yourself. So, anyone that says that it's narcissism, fuck off! Let me know what you think of this video, everybody! Good topic, meaty. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. And have a good day, guys! Bye!
