YouTube video (Vanessa and Xander Marin) explaining post-coital dysphoria (PCD): what it feels like, prevalence, possible causes (psychological factors, past trauma, sexual shame, hormonal shifts), typical duration, and practical recommendations (aftercare, self-care, and seeking therapy if symptoms are intense). The hosts normalize the experience, cite a 2019 study on prevalence, and end with resources and calls-to-action (subscribe, related aftercare video).
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We can't start a video. Have you ever felt sadness or anger after sex is over? Or maybe you've even cried? This, while it might be distressing in the moment, is actually totally normal. And it even has a name.
In this video we're going to talk about what it means to be sad after sex and what to do if you're experiencing this sensation or any other emotion that feels uncomfortable.
So if you have ever felt sad after sex, let us know down in the comments below.
If you're brand new to our channel, first we just want to say hi. We are Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude and We've been together 14 years.
We are here to give you tools, tips and techniques to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside the bedroom and out. So if that's something you're interested in, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. Okay, so let's get into it. A lot of people experience negative feelings, sadness, even depression immediately after sex. And this is called post coital dysphoria or also sometimes called pcd.
So if you're experiencing it, just know that this is actually pretty common. You are for sure not alone. In fact, a 2019 study found that 41% of penis owners have experienced this in their lifetime and 46% of vulva owners. So just under 50% of men and women.
And you can really experience a wide range of negative emotions with pcd, from anxiety to sadness, even anger, like we mentioned at the beginning. And it can last for really varying amounts of time, sometimes just a couple of minutes for some people and in some instances it can actually be a few hours. The other thing about PCD is you don't necessarily need to have had an orgasm to experience it. It could just be from an any sort of sexual contact and for a.
Very small number of people can actually be so extreme that it leads to you wanting to avoid sex because it is so bad.
Yeah, you know what's coming. So you're like, why would I want to start having sex? So pcd, like so many things when it comes to sex, is very under researched. So we don't know a ton about why it happens, but some current theories include it could be more about your overall feelings about sex or your relationship or yourself and they're just happening to come up in that moment after intimacy. So maybe there's stuff about how you feel about your body, any past abuse or trauma that you've experienced, stress or even just negative feelings that your beliefs that you've been taught to have about sex. Like any sort of sexual shame that was passed on to you, it could also have something to do with hormones. Your hormone levels definitely surge during sexual activity and they can change a lot during orgasm as well. So that could shift in hormones may cause that feeling of imbalance after sex for some people.
If you are struggling with pcd, we strongly encourage you to engage in aftercare. Aftercare is how you and your partner check in and support each other after having sex.
So maybe you need to like cuddle for a little bit with your partner, talk about the emotions that are coming up for you. Or maybe you need to engage in some like solo aftercare, A little bit of self care. It could include things like exercising, meditating, taking a bath or a shower to or relax or reset or any other little self care activities that tend to make you feel better at other points in the day.
We actually have an entire YouTube video all about aftercare. We're gonna put it down in the description box and we highly encourage you to check that out as well.
And of course, if you are experiencing emotions or feelings that just feel like very intense, really overwhelming, if it's causing you to wanna avoid sex, like Xander mentioned earlier, then of course we recommend seeking out therapy or sex therapy. So that wraps up our video on post Coital dysphoria.
If you like this video, please give it a like. You can also hit the red button to subscribe to our YouTube channel. And while you're at it, click that notification icon so you get notified as soon as we post more videos.
