Anal Sex 101: How To Try Anal Sex

No, we can't start a seal. So you're curious about butt stuff.

Ooh.

You are definitely not alone. Over the last few months, we have seen a pretty dramatic increase in the number of questions that we've been getting about anal play. But if you have never ventured backdoor before, it might seem pretty intimidating. So today we are gonna break it all down for and teach you the basics. Class is in session for anal 101.

Bet they didn't teach that where you went to school.

Probably not.

So if you're brand new here, then hello, we are Vanessa and Zander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist and we've been together for 13 years.

And our channel is all about giving you the tools you need to create an extraordinary relationship inside the bedroom and out. So you already know you're interested in that. Just go ahead and hit that subscribe button right now.

So analsux is perfect. Pretty polarizing. Some people love it, and some people don't even understand the temptation to try it.

Those people are not watching this video.

I guess probably not. But we are really curious to hear from you. What word do you associate with anal sex? Leave that word down in the comments below just so we can see how you feel about it.

All right, so let's talk about why we think anal is worth your consideration.

Just consideration, that's all.

You don't have to do it, but here are some reasons why you might want to consider it. So the first one is simply that it feels good. You have nerve endings in and around your anus, just like you have nerve endings in every other part of your body, basically. So it can feel very good. There are even some people who have orgasms just from anal play alone.

And then second, it just feels exciting. It's a taboo thing for many people, and that can add that extra thrill to the experience.

Yeah, if you're sitting here watching this video going like, oh, I don't know if I could do this.

You might like it.

You might like it. All right, the third reason that we wanted to name is that it can be a fun way to play around with gender roles. You definitely don't have to do this, but there are a lot of straight couples that enjoy playing around with like, a strap on or a dildo. And the woman is the one, you know, playing with the man or penetrating the man. It can be like a really fun way to play around with things. Again, you don't have to do this. There are tons of ways to play around with anal play, but this is just one option.

And then fourth, it is something new to explore with your partner. One of our favorite pieces of advice for couples in long term relationships is to try new things in the bedroom. If you watch this channel, you hear us say that probably in every single video. So trying anal is definitely going to shake things up. It'll be something new. Now let's talk about the crucial steps that you need to take before, during and after to make it a safe, pleasurable experience for all parties involved.

All right, tip number one is to stay safe. Just like any other sex, we want to spend a little bit of time talking about safety. Safety first, of course. So first and foremost consent. You want to make sure that both partners are not only willing to do it, but excited about doing it. A lot of people, you know, have different opinions about anal. So it's really common in a relationship for one partner to really want to try it and the other partner to be a little bit more uncertain. So we hope that this video opens up some conversations. You guys can talk about it, but definitely don't explore it unless you are both on board with it.

Yeah.

And then of course, just like with any other other type of sex, you also have to take precautions to keep yourself safe during anal. So you can't get pregnant from anal sex, but you can transmit sexually transmitted infections through anal sex. In fact, anal sex tends to be a higher risk activity because the tissues in the anus and the rectum are pretty delicate. They can get micro tears and it can be easier to pass along sexually transmitted infections. So you definitely want to make sure that you use a condom when you do anal unless you are already fluid bonded with your partner.

All right, tip number two is get prepared. So proper hygiene is very important. Yes, there will be traces of fecal matter. It is unavoidable, but it's so minor.

I think people really freak out about this. They're like, oh my God, I'm going to be touching poop. And it's like you're not like yeah, they're.

I'm sorry to say this, but you are probably encountering traces of fecal matter in your day to day life anyway is just the reality of life, just.

A poop filled world.

However, there are a couple things that you can do to minimize or mitigate this. So first, empty your bowels beforehand. Then take a shower. After that bowel movement, clean the outside of your asshole with a bit of soap and water while you're in the shower.

Really all you need, all good hygiene.

Tips kind of on a day to day Basis anyway. And then also avoid anal sex if you have an upset stomach or you've just had some messy bowel movements recently. Also a good idea, then you want to keep some tissues within arm's reach for easy cleanup while you're doing it. You can put a towel under yourself if you're particularly nervous about messiness, but it's really not necessary. And if you don't want to risk any chance of residue touching you, then you can use a condom.

Yeah. Even if you don't usually use condoms, condom is an easy way to make this feel a little bit cleaner.

And then finally, in terms of preparation. Lube. Lube. Lube. Lube is non negotiable for anal sex. The rectum does not produce lubrication. Spit is not enough.

No, no.

So, yes, lube. Have it ready. Have it be plentiful. Don't be shy about it.

All right? Tip number three is to ease your way into it. So if this is your first time exploring any sort of anal play, you're probably going to be pretty nervous. So, you know, go through all those preparation steps that we talked about beforehand. But then once you're in the moment, like, don't go straight for anal. I think a lot of people get pretty nervous about trying it and they just want to, like, get to it and see what it's going to be like.

Or there's one partner that's like, been waiting for so long and they're like, I finally get to do it. And if that is you, consider this, that anal is difficult. It takes some time to work up to. If you are so gung ho about it your first time, it's probably not going to be a great experience. And the likelihood of you getting to keep trying that experience and try it to completion is going to diminish greatly. So take your time.

Yeah. So, you know, make sure that you spend plenty of time getting aroused, you know, being intimate with each other in other ways. You can even have an orgasm first if you're the one who's going to be, you know, the recipient of the anal play. Having an orgasm can really relax your muscles, relax you mentally. So that can help a lot. And now our biggest pro tip for exploring anal is it doesn't have to be sex. It doesn't have to be intercourse right away.

Penetration.

We actually think it's much better to start off with your fingers first. So fingers are obviously a lot smaller, easier to play around with, and it'll give you a sense of like, do you even like this kind of stimulation Here, and that can help you decide if you want to go further or not. And, you know, you really can take even like a few sessions just playing around with fingers. Again, there's no rush. And you're not going to get a gold medal for having anal as quickly as possible. So try playing around with your fingers first. If you're really nervous, you can even just touch the outside of the anus. You don't have to have any penetration whatsoever.

Still feels really good.

Yeah. Most of the nerve endings are around the outside, so penetration isn't necessary in order to feel good. We also recommend pairing a little bit of anal play with another activity. So, for example, if you're giving your partner a hand job, you can have the other hand, you know, sleek and back door. Or you can do it with oral sex as well. Again, this is just another way to ease your way into it because you'll be feeling pleasure and maybe some of the other ways that you're more used to feeling, but also experiencing what it's like to have a little anal play on the side.

Good idea. All right, tip number four is let the receiver be in control. So letting the receiver dictate the pace and the depth of penetration is going to minimize pain and ease any lingering nerves.

And this works for anal play with fingers or with, you know, penetration with like, a penis or a dildo or something?

Yeah, so one of the best ways to do that is try doggy style, because that position really allows the receiver to be in control of the movement. Because so instead of, you know, the person behind doing the thrusting, let the person in front do the rocking back and forth.

Oh, yeah, I like that little.

Yeah, sorry, I can't really do it in this chair. C' est la vie. All right. And then when you start going, go as slowly as possible. And this will allow you to really focus on relaxing the muscles in your butt as much as possible. Doing some just slow breathing in and out will really help relax the sphincter.

Oh, the sphincter. You're throwing out those anatomy terms. Yeah.

Yes, siree.

There are two of them, actually.

Yeah. So now the receiver should also be aware of what it feels like and if there's any pain and really be aware of good pain versus bad pain. So it should feel like it kind of hurts so good, but it shouldn't be like a sharp or a stinging pain. So if you're noticing that, then take a break.

Yeah, we just want to be really careful here. Like, sex should never be painful. So we're not saying, like, yeah, if you're in pain, that's totally fine. But the reason we're saying, like, good pain is because that's how a lot of people describe the sensation of any sort of intracollion course, actually, or even orgasm, too. It's like. It's this sense of like, oh, it hurts so good. There's like this little twinge of something. But again, just want to be super clear, we are not saying if you're in pain, like that's a good thing or just keep going.

Yeah. So of course, yeah, don't ever push yourself to keep going if it's not feeling right. And then, yeah, way to increase the speed until it really feels like you're in a groove. And after that, you can add additional stimulation if you want, like a vibrator or use your hands for some manual stimulation. Yeah.

All right, so that brings us to tip number five, proper aftercare. So let's assume you've moved forward. It was great. You enjoyed it, done the deed. People had their orgasms. Now what? So, quick little tip here. If somebody has been doing some penetrating, then they should pull out as slowly as possible. This extrication can feel a little bit strange for the receiver. So again, you just want to keep going slow. That's just the key word for anything anal. It's just slow. So afterwards, both people should wash up with a little bit of soap and water. You definitely want to make sure to be careful about continuing with other kind of sexual contact until you've had that cleanup, just because there are more bacteria that you're talking about here. So in particular, if you've been playing, you know, putting something into the rectum, you don't want to then put it directly into a vagina because you can leave to infections. So just take a little bit of time to clean up afterwards. I also want to note a couple of, like, you know, ultra specific things here, but I just think they're useful to know.

Better to be prepared.

Better to be prepared the receiver. You may notice that the next time you have a bowel movement, there's probably going to be some lube and some ejaculate that comes out as well. It might feel a little weird. Just be prepared for that. And getting even more graphic here, there may be a tiny bit of blood as well. Like I was saying earlier, the tissues in the rectum are really sensitive. They can tear quite easily. If you see just a little bit of blood, that's okay. But if you see any, like, you know, significant amount of blood, then you definitely want to go check in with your doctor.

Yeah, they tear quickly, but they also heal very quickly, right?

Yeah, they're resilient little guys.

So great. That wraps up our video on how to try anal for the first time. If you like this video, please give us a, like, hit that red button down below to subscribe to our channel and click the notification icon, too. So you keep getting those videos as soon as we release them.

You know, maybe we should have picked a slightly different topic to end on other than the bloody stool.

Yeah. So there's gonna be some blood. Hit that like button, please.

We wanted to give you guys all the facts, all the information, just to prepare yourself. But going back to maybe some of the first points that we talked about earlier, Anal play can definitely be fun. There are nerve endings there. It's a part of your body that deserves some love and some exception exploring. So hopefully this inspires you to give that a shot.

Yeah. If you're excited to try anal sex, smash that like button.

All right, so we do know one of the biggest challenges that can come up around anal is that maybe you're really interested in trying it, but you've never talked about it with your partner before, and you're feeling pretty shy, nervous. Maybe you're worried how your partner's going to react. So if that is the case for you, then we have a free gift for you. We have a guide called how to start talking about sex with your partner, even if you never have before. So we'll walk you through specific phrases that you can say, how to say them, get this conversation going in a way that feels really unintimidating and ends up feeling very connecting for the two of you. So we'll put a link to that down in the description box below. Thanks so much for watching.

See you next time. Breathe in and out.

What the fuck? Did you not read this beforehand?

Breathe in and out of your butthole.

How do you do that? Imagine that you are.

I did read this. But wait. Imagine that you're breathing in and out.

You, like, relax.

I can't say that.

Okay, then don't say it.