Are you misunderstanding “boundaries”?

Name: Are you misunderstanding “boundaries”?
Uploaded: 2024-01-02T20:15:01+00:00
Duration: 32 s
Channel: Vanessa Marin
Description: Short YouTube conversation (Vanessa Marin and Xander Marin) explaining that boundaries must be clearly articulated to be enforceable. Uses an example…

2 Jan 2024 · 1 min

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Short YouTube conversation (Vanessa Marin and Xander Marin) explaining that boundaries must be clearly articulated to be enforceable. Uses an example where a family said they had a boundary about not accepting money for gifts, but the boundary was never explicitly stated, so the mother-in-law offering money did not violate a communicated boundary.

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People are talking a lot more about boundaries these days, which is great. Boundaries are extremely important. But as a therapist I'm seeing a lot of misunderstandings about, you know, boundaries and how we communicate them. This person just said like, you know, we don't have money to do gifts this year. Then the mother in law offers the money. Then they say no, you know, we have a boundary around we don't want to take money. The mother in law respected that. I think what they're taking issue with is they're saying the mother in law disrespected our boundary by offering the money. But you didn't state that boundary to begin with.
I don't think anyone even stated a boundary around. We have a boundary around not taking money. It's just that the husband just said no thank you.
Exactly. So like you can't get upset with somebody for not respecting your boundaries when you haven't clearly articulated and shared those boundaries.