Asking Your Partner How They Want You To Help/Provide Insight, etc.

Name: Asking Your Partner How They Want You To Help/Provide Insight, etc.
Uploaded: 2023-08-17T10:15:02+00:00
Duration: 1 min
Channel: Vanessa Marin
Description: Vanessa Marin, a couples therapist, explains how to tell your partner exactly what kind of help you need: do you want them to listen, give advice, solve…

17 Aug 2023 · 1 min

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Vanessa Marin, a couples therapist, explains how to tell your partner exactly what kind of help you need: do you want them to listen, give advice, solve it together, or just validate you. Being specific sets them up to actually help instead of guessing wrong.

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Never mind, never mind, never mind. Couples therapist here. And I have been here at plenty of times myself. So what I have learned to do with my husband is set him up for success by letting him know ahead of time what I would like from him. So I'll say to him, hey, I just want you to listen. Let me vent about something. Or I'll say, I'm really struggling with this. I can't figure it out, and I would love some advice from you or. Or even can we be teammates together and help problem solve this issue that I've got going on? And even if there's something really specific that I'm wanting to hear from him, like, can you just let me vent about this for a while and tell me that everybody else is nuts and I am completely in the right here, like, I'll just literally tell him that it makes such a big difference to set him up for success that way and I get to feel supported in the way that I want to feel supported. Let me know in the comments what you wish your partner had said the last time you came to them with something.