Bridgerton: SEX Therapist Reviews Sexiest Scenes

All right.

Today's video is by popular demand.

Oh, yeah.

Because the Internet is going wild for Bridgerton. I have been getting so many DMs about this show. If you haven't heard of it yet, it's a show on Netflix. Everyone's watching it. You have to watch it. And I've gotten so many messages from people asking what my take on the show is since I'm a sex therapist. So at a certain point, I just felt like, you know what? This is a professional obligation to watch. I have to watch this show.

And that was cool with me, too. So the reality is we got so sucked in that we watched the entire season in, like, two days.

It was embarrassingly fast, and we were very, very entertained by it. But as a sex therapist, I was also thinking about the show's portrayal of sex, masturbation, orgasm, and relationships. So we decided that we would make a video with a sex therapist's take on Bridgerton's sexiest scenes.

Ooh. So if you're new here, then. Hi, we're Vanessa and Xander Marin.

I'm a sex therapist.

Y and we've been married for 13 years.

And we are here to give you tools, tricks, and techniques for having a truly extraordinary relationship. Inside of the bedroom and out. So if you are ready for that, go ahead and hit the subscribe button right now. So in case you are totally new to the show, Bridgerton. It's a romantic drama set in early 19th century England. It's full of really fun costumes. I was going to try to wear my period dress today, but I sadly do not have.

It's not the dry cleaner.

It's at the dry cleaner. It's got really great, like, gossip and steamy sex scenes. It's pretty funny. It's kind of like a raunchy 50 Shades of Gray version of Pride and prejudice. Also, like 50 Shades of Gray, Bridgerton seems to be especially popular with the ladies. So I cannot tell you how many DMs I've gotten from women telling me that the show turned them on more than they had been turned on in years. I got messages from women saying I was dead inside until I watched Bridgerton, and it brought me back to life.

So, guys, watch Bridgerton next time you're netflixing and chilling with your lady. So, yeah, in the show, there's a lot of characters, but there's a particular focus on Daphne, the fourth child and eldest daughter.

Good old Daphne.

Yeah. She's making her debut on the social scene in London and looking for a husband to lock her Down. Spoiler alert. She ends up falling in love with the Duke of Hastings. Simon.

Yeah, this whole video is kind of gonna be a spoiler alert. So don't watch if you haven't watched the show and you want to now. There are so many scenes that we could talk about from the show. This was one of the sexiest shows I've seen in a long time. Like, in terms of most sex scenes, but we narrowed it down to our top five, so let's get right to it.

Okay, let's do it. Scene number one is Daphne not knowing what's supposed to happen on her wedding night. Classic. As the main character, Daphne is going through the process of recorded and finding her future husband. It becomes clear to viewers that she doesn't actually know what sex is. She knows that there are things that only happen between married couples, but she doesn't actually know any of those details. So her mom tries to give her a birds in the bees chat on the eve of her wedding, but doesn't really get into any specifics before she gets whisked away with Simon the Duke.

So you might think that this scene is pretty unlikely in today's information age, but it is actually shockingly common. So I've worked with a number of couples who truly did not know anything about sex before getting married. And I've even had to coach straight couples through exactly how to. I was going to say the ins and outs of how to have intercourse.

Oh.

But I guess that applies. So, you know, there are a lot of couples who just are really unprepared for understanding, like, what sex is, how it works, and way more couples than you would think who still have not consummated their marriages and days, weeks, months, sometimes even years later.

Interesting.

Yeah. So that's just the specific example of intercourse. But I also teach this online orgasm course for women called Finishing School. And whenever I teach about the principles of female anatomy and pleasure, the students in the course are always totally blown away. So for so many women, you know, this is the very first time they're hearing this very basic information about their bodies and how they work. So we get in a lot more detail than that. But, like, sometimes even things that you feel like, you know, we all should know this information about our bodies. We're just not given that information. So if you're still confused about female pleasure and orgasm, don't be ashamed, because a lot of people are. We just don't have this information. But definitely make sure to check out our video, the Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women. So we'll pop a link to that right up here.

You'd be surprised at just how little people truly know about sex and. And how much that lack of information affects their sex lives on a regular basis. So we hear questions like, can you get pregnant if the guy pulls out? Or can you get addicted to masturbating with a vibrator? Or does having anal sex make your butt bigger?

That was a brand new one that we heard for the first time just the other day.

Yeah, I mean, the whole reason why we even have a business to begin with is because there's a huge lack of crucial information about sex.

All right, scene number two. Daphne doesn't know what masturbation is. So if you're sensing a theme from our heroine Daphne, you're totally right. Poor girl does not know much about anything. But it's not her fault.

Definitely not. In her quest to learn what really happens between married couples, Daphne turns to her then friend, the Duke of Hastings, before the marriage has been consummated. And while he struggles to give her a non vague answer, his explicit instructions are to touch the place between her legs. That feels good.

Good advice.

Yeah. So viewers soon get to see Daphne exploring a part of her body that she's never explored before.

So we loved seeing female masturbation included in this mainstream Netflix show because it is so rare to see female masturbation in the media. It's just not talked about, it's not depicted. So it was such a breath of fresh air to see it. I am pretty sure I cheered out loud when it was happening. So, you know. Yeah, things are changing nowadays. Like, people are becoming more. More open to talking about female masturbation than we have been in the past, but it's still a pretty taboo topic. I mean, I still get DMs every day from women saying, I'm 35, 45, 27, I've never masturbated before. And I'm constantly hearing from women that they think masturbation is icky. It's gross, it's weird, it's sinful. It's not something that good girls do. You don't do it if you're in a relationship. All kinds of stuff. I mean, there are still millions of women who have never been taught a single thing about their own bodies and pleasure. And many of the women who go through finishing school have never masturbated or have been too ashamed or guilty to do it with any sense of regularity.

Yeah, we always say that the best way to know it works well for your body is to masturbate. Your sex life with your partner will be so much better if you already know what you like and then what you don't like.

Yeah, we're pretty big fans of masturbation over here. So if you're a woman who's curious to learn the tried and tested, scientifically proven best way to masturbate, then you're definitely going to want to check out our free guide, the best way to have your first orgasm. So we'll pop a link to that guide down in the description box below.

All right, let's move on to scene number three, where the Duke asks Daphne to masturbate in front of him. So we're also huge fans of this scene. If you hadn't already guessed, showing your partner exactly how you like to be touched is one of the best ways to teach your partner what you like in bed. Nobody knows your body like you do, so you know you're literally the authority on your own body and pleasure, so why not show that to your partner?

We're always really surprised by how few couples do this, but masturbating together or in front of each other, it can help your sex life in so many ways. So it's a great way to balance mismatched sex drives. If one partner's in the mood, one partner isn't. Partner can take care of themselves.

Maybe the other partner will become in the mood.

Very well could. It's also a great way to spice things up in the bedroom and get out of a rut, since, like we just said, a lot of couples don't do this very often or at all.

Or something you can do in between positions.

Yeah, it could be a little breather as you're moving in between things. It can ensure that you have an orgasm if you want to have one. It can balance mismatched orgasmic timing. So if you have a partner who orgasms faster than you're able to get there, little masturbation can help out. It can increase your confidence, and it's also just really hot to masturbate in front of each other.

Yeah, the Duke was definitely onto something with this one. All right, scene four is that scene? Okay, so we all remember the scene where Daphne gets on top, right? After asking her maid, she finally understands how pregnancy actually works and realizes that Simon the Duke has been pulling out to prevent her from getting knocked up. She's mad that he lied because he told her he couldn't have kids instead of revealing the truth that he just didn't want to have kids.

So the show is really sympathetic with Daphne and it seems to side with her in this moment. So the Duke was wrong for lying to her. She's right to be mad at him. And while I do agree that he definitely should not have lied to her as a sex therapist, I was also extremely uncomfortable with the fact that the show didn't acknowledge that Daphne Assassinated assaulted Simon. So she knew that he did not want to ejaculate inside of her. She went into that evening knowing that she was gonna basically trick him into doing something that he didn't want to do. She got on top of him so that she could be in control and she violated his boundaries and forced him to do something that, you know, ultimately he didn't want to do. True, the Duke didn't directly say no in that moment, but a lack of a no is not the same thing as a yes.

Yeah, we don't talk as much about men as being the victims of sexual assault. So I think that's why you don't see too many articles about this scene online. A lot of people just don't think of it as any kind of assault.

But I like to play the swap the genders game in these kinds of situations. So let's imagine that it was Daphne who was trying to ensure that the Duke never ejaculated inside of her. And the Duke knew that Daphne didn't want that. Now let's imagine that he went into the evening knowing that he was gonna trick her into doing something that she didn't want to do. Imagine him getting on top, so he knew that he could kind of pin her down and be in control of her. Imagine him coming inside of her, knowing full well that she did not want that to happen. I mean, people would be totally outraged by this scene, right?

Yeah, very good point. Alright, scene number five. Is Daphne orgasms or does she. Bridgerton shows some scenes with oral sex and with masturbation, but the majority of the sex scenes are just intercourse. I don't want to be rude, but the Duke doesn't exactly have staying power, at least not the way it's shown in the show. And the sex is usually over in a few seconds. Or that might have been Netflix's decision, who knows? But the show depicts Daphne as really enjoying intercourse each and every time.

Okay, so this was a really interesting scene for me as a female orgasm expert. So one of the most harmful myths about female orgasm is that women are supposed to orgasm from penetration alone. But that is just not how our bodies work. Women require clitoral stimulation to reach Orgasm and intercourse generally does a pretty terrible job at creating clitoral stimulation. So my comparison that I like to make is that intercourse for women is the equivalent of a man getting his balls played with. So sure, it might feel good, it might be pleasurable, but it's just not enough sensation and not the right sense spot to lead to orgasm.

At least for most men.

At least for most men. So as I watched Bridgerton, I was telling Xander like, oh, I love that they're not showing Daphne orgasming. My perspective was I thought they were showing her enjoying the experience, feeling connected to him, this sense of like newness. But I didn't think that they were showing her orgasming. They definitely weren't showing these like over the top, earth shattering orgasms that you usually see on TV and in the movies. So I thought this was super refreshing. But then I went over to Instagram and I noticed that I was getting so many DMs from the women who follow me and now know the truth about how female orgasm works, complaining that Daphne was orgasming despite getting no stimulation, and sex lasting just a few seconds. So we want to turn this controversial topic over to you and ask you leave us a comment down below and let us know if you did you think the show was trying to portray Daphne as having orgasms or just that she was enjoying the moment? So let us know. I'm very curious to hear what you think.

Yeah, definitely.

So that wraps up our recap of Bridgerton's sexiest scenes. We hope that you enjoyed hearing a sex therapist's opinion on the show. So make sure to hit that like button to let us know that you enjoyed watching this video.

And while you're at it, make sure to hit the red subscribe button to subscribe to our channel. And while you're at it, hit that notification icon so you keep getting notified as soon as we drop more videos.

Hit all the things.

Yes.

So like we mentioned earlier in the video, we'll also include that free guide for women who are struggling to orgasm called the best way to have your first orgasm down in the description box below. So that guide reveals the number one science backed technique for women learning how to orgasm. And it'll walk you through exactly what to do to start having orgasms and on your own, even if you've never had one before.

Yeah, it'll be way more information than Daphne got.

Way, way more. All right, thanks so much for watching.

See you next time.

I did a really weird dance and I did like hit all the buttons.

Oh, I didn't notice that at all.

I guess. Get it out before we start.

Indian food.

Oh, God.