“Can you explain Mental Load to my husband?”

A lot of you have been asking me to explain mental load to your husbands, so class is in session. Under the umbrella of mental load lies things like remembering everything that needs to get done, anticipating needs, identifying options and solutions, making decisions, monitoring progress, and even adjusting the plans. This is Timmy. Timmy has soccer practice on Tuesdays, but he almost always forgets his cleats so he needs somebody to double check that he did pack them. His uniforms need to be clean for Tuesdays, but they can't be clean with the rest of the laundry. They have to be done with the special laundry stripping method. On game days, Timmy often gets anxious and doesn't want to eat breakfast, but he can be convinced to drink a protein shake. These are just some of the many mental load items that at least one of Timmy's parents needs to be thinking about and anticipating all throughout the day. Mental load is never ending and all encompassing and research has found that the vast majority of it lies on the woman's shoulders in male female relationships. But mental load imbalances are one of the primary causes of disconnection, arguments, resentment, and even low libido. So it's extremely important for all couples to talk about mental load.