A YouTube video (hosts Vanessa and Xander Marin) explaining the "death grip": a very firm masturbation grip often used by penis owners that can condition the body to require unusually intense stimulation, causing difficulty achieving erection, orgasm, or pleasure with a partner. The hosts clarify masturbation is normal but recommend varying techniques (pressure, stroke, hand used, devices, fantasy vs. porn) and temporarily reducing use of the death grip so the body can recalibrate; they offer a free related guide for penis owners and end with subscription CTAs.
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Today we are wearing our deathly garb to talk about you like that, to talk about the death grip. So before we even get into what the death grip is, we want to know, have you heard of this term before? Leave us a yes or a no down in the comments below. All right, spoiler alert. The death grip is not deadly. Not deadly. Well, it can be in a certain.
Way, not really deadly. You won't die.
A death grip is when you use a very firm grip during masturbation. And we are talking about masturbating with a penis. Yes, penis owner, masturbation. So the death grip, true, it will not lead to your actual death, but it can lead to a whole host of other problems, like difficulty getting hard, reaching orgasm, even just experiencing pleasure with.
A partner, possibly the death of your orgasm.
Oh, there we go. There we go. So today we're going to talk a little bit more about what exactly the death grip is, the problems that it can cause, and what you can do about it.
All right, but first, if you are brand new here, we want to say, hello, this is Vanessa. I'm Xander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist, and we've been together for 13 years.
And our account is all about giving you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out. So if you're interested in that, go ahead and just hit that subscribe button right now.
All right, let's get into the death grip, then. That's hard. Let's get into the death grip then.
All right.
There are a good number of men who can orgasm just fine on their own, but do have a hard time getting there with a partner. Usually we tend to think of orgasm problems as more of a female issue, but that's just not always the case. So why does this happen for men? One of the main causes that is masturbation. We're not saying that is always the cause, but one of the main causes. And we're gonna specifically talk about death grip today, which is a masturbation thing.
All right? So, yeah, like Sandra was saying, like, we are fans of masturbation. We definitely don't want to leave the impression that we're saying, like, never masturbate. It's a terrible thing. But masturbation can cause issues for people of all gender. So if you're masturbating in the exact same way every single time, regardless of what genitals you're working with, that can make it easy to condition your body to only resp to that exact kind of Stimulation. So for penis owners in particular, if you're using a death grip, it can be a lot harder to orgasm if you don't have that same level of intensity with your partner. Like, you're training your body to need this very intense, very firm grip. And then you get with a partner and they're either not using that same grip on you, maybe there's some penetration involved with your penis.
And yeah, body part is not ever going to be able to replicate the amount of firmness that you can create with your hand.
Exactly. So it can definitely lead to issues with experiencing pleasure with your partner. And yeah, the same is true of, like, any sort of masturbation technique. The death grip is just kind of one specific thing. But this also comes up with vulva owners who have specific techniques that they use. Maybe always using a vibrator, always watching porn. There's nothing wrong with any of these things inherently, but it just can be a way that we can prime our bodies to, like, want that stimulation.
All right, so what is the solution if you or your partner is using the death grip? It's pretty simple. You need to stop using the death grip. But it's not a simple matter of just stopping, and the problems are solved. See, the issue here is that your body is going to need time to readjust to sort of a more normal amount of pressure or stimulation. So it's really important to be aware that at first it probably will not feel pleasurable without using a really firm or, you know, really just using that death grip again. So you are needing to be okay, understanding that you may not feel pleasure, unfortunately, for some time while your body recalibrates. And that's just kind of the natural trade off in stopping using the death grip.
So the general advice that we give to people of all genders is to try to switch up your masturbation routine. Again, there's nothing inherently wrong with any specific routine, but we want to, like, try to mix things up a little bit. So don't masturbate in any particular way, like roughly 50% of the time. That's like a good ballpark idea to have in mind. So if you have a penis, some specific things that you can do, aside from varying the level of pressure, is to use a different stroke. Try using a male masturbator. Use your non dominant hand. Try fantasizing instead of watching porn. Just little tweaks that you can make, different things that you can try out. The bottom line is that there are so many different ways to masturbate, so why limit yourself to just one way. So that wraps up our video on the death grip and masturbation habits. So if you are looking for ways to please your partner, we have a free guide for the penis owners out there who sleep with women. We put together a guide called what Do Women Really Want? Because, yeah, I think a lot of penis owners have these ideas in their head of what they think women want. And that can create a lot of pressure, anxiety, expectation, and especially if you're dealing with some of the negative implications or, you know, results of using the death grip, that can just cause even more anxiety. So we wanted to share with you, based on our actual research and surveying of the women in our audience, what are the things that women are actually looking for in the bedroom? It's pretty fascinating, so definitely check it out. We'll put a link to download that in the description box below.
And we want to thank you so much for getting to the end of this video. If you liked it, we really hope that you'll leave us a thumbs up. Subscribe to our channel and hit that notification icon so you keep getting notified when we post more videos.
Yeah. In particular, the pugs really love it when you leave a thumbs up and subscribe. So if you want to make them happy. Thanks so much for watching.
