EPISODE 102: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Intercourse Edition)

There are definitely going to be a lot of people who this is their first episode and welcome, welcome. It's not always like this, I promise you.

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your hosts, Vanessa and Xander Marin. I'm a sex Therapist with over 20.

Years of experience and I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step by step techniques for improving yours.

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. Thanks to zocdoc for supporting Pillow Talks. Zocdoc is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, are available when you need them, and treat almost every condition under the sun. Go to Zocdoc.com and download the Zocdoc app to sign up for free and book a top rated doctor. And thank you to Cozy Earth for supporting our podcast. Cozy Earth provided an exclusive offer for our Pillow Talks listeners today. Get up to 35% off site wide when you use code pillowtalks@cozyearth.com we are back with another one of our most intimate podcast episodes ever. This is part two in a little series where we try out the Internet's weirdest, most head scratching, most intriguing sounding.

Sex tips and we take you straight into our bedroom. Like straight into our bedroom, straight into our minds.

So we did part one of this. It was episode 97 five episodes ago. It was our foreplay edition. So when we were originally planning this episode, we put out this call on Instagram. We said, what are like the wackiest sex tips that you've ever seen? Like on the Internet, on TikTok, in women's magazines. We're gonna try them out. We'll be the guinea pigs. And we got so many responses that we knew we had to divide it into two episodes. So we decided to do like stuff that you do with your hands and mouths. That was our foreplay edition. And then we are doing this episode specifically about intercourse tips. So we were actually doing, we were guests on a different podcast last week and she was talking about that original episode. She's like, I was just listening to your foreplay tips podcast and like I, this was very intimate. I feel like I maybe shouldn't have been listening to this.

I would just kind of laughed and was like, yep, that was the most intimate episode we've ever recorded. And I mean, that's the hilarious thing when you're casting on someone else's podcast is like, you know, it's not like they're going to have listened to your entire podcast. There's. There's hundreds of hours of material, and so it's like, oh, that's the episode you listen to. Great. Well, hey, I mean, you know, we. We got a lot of, you know, new podcast listeners that are. That are coming in from. From you being on the Glennon Doyle podcast on. We can do hard things with Glennon and Abby, so they're definitely their. And sister and Amanda. They're definitely going to be a lot of people who. This is their first episode. And welcome. Welcome. It does. It's not. It's not always like this, I promise you.

It struck me in that moment when she said that I was like, you know, you and I talk so openly about so many different sex and relationship things that, I don't know, it just all feels very normal to me. But when she said that, I was like, oh, yeah, we did make a podcast episode where we let people listen to us trying out sex acts. Like, yeah, I guess that is very.

Yeah, There's. There's a. There's a voice memo of my reaction as Vanessa blows a raspberry on my balls.

If you did not listen to that episode, you must go back and listen to it. You don't have to listen to them in order, so you can go back after you finish this one. But it's. It's a must listen. It's. It's very intimate. So we're following it up today with.

Part two, and this is going to be no different. We. To be clear, we don't. I don't know, we don't have any voice memos while we're actually having sex. We. That was. That is a bridge too far, I think. However we are.

What did you have? I was thinking about it.

That feels a little. Maybe a little uncomfortable to me. Like, not uncomfortable like. Like, we won't go there because we. We do go there, but just more of a. You know, it's more. It's kind of like. Like, we. We wouldn't do. We wouldn't do like a. Like a Cribs kind of home tour of our house on Instagram. Like, that feels private. I think that. I mean, honestly, Zach Godwig, where's. Where's the line.

That should have been the name of our podcast. Where's the line?

Where's the line? We don't know Subhead doesn't exist.

The limit does not exist.

The limit does not exist.

The line does not exist.

The limit does not exist is really a great name for a podcast.

I hope you guys get that Mean girls reference. We're dating ourselves a little bit there, but one of the greatest movies of all time. I was thinking about it, and here's what I came up with. I was like, if we just put a microphone in our bedroom and we had sex the way that we normally did, like a thousand times. No, I would not ever want to put that audio on a podcast. Sander's cringing over here.

I would not want to listen. I don't know, just me listening to it might be a little.

Okay. But I think, you know, the way that we approached having sex when we're trying out these tips and when we try out other tips in the past, like, it's a different kind of sex. Like, it's very, very playful and, like, you know, we're stopping to, like, compare notes and, like, talk about it. So it, like, it's. It's still very intimate because we're having sex, but it's not the same kind of intimate. Like, it feels like. It feels more like a little experiment.

Yeah. I mean, we're in the test kitchen.

Yes, we are in the test kitchen.

We're in the test kitchen. We're not. We're not making dinner for ourselves.

Yeah, I mean, I. I still. I mean, we're. Yeah, like Xander said, we don't have any recordings of us actually having sex. It did feel a little bit across the line, but I. I was like, I. I could imagine. Maybe there was one part in particular where I was like, this would be so fucking funny if I could just record myself in the moment. The most disastrous tip that we tried, which we will share with you in a little bit.

And I think that was the one.

Time where I was like, I w. Recorded this in the moment because I was dying.

Yeah, we. We did. We did a voice memo recap right after we finished. Yes. So we are still very much in the throes of it and we really.

Have our sex voices. Did you notice that when we were just listening to it?

I mean, I was speaking pretty slowly. I know, and I'll tell you why later. There's a good reason. You will hear more so than normal.

So that's very intimate. You'll hear our sex voices. Our post sex soft sex voices.

Yeah, because, I mean, some. Something happened. Something happened. Something did happen, and we discovered something. Or at least I discovered something. And, I mean, it's a sample size of 1, so we might have to.

Oh, we're definitely gonna repeat it.

To repeat it, but there was definitely at least one thing in here that was a possible game changer.

Why don't you try reading our review of the week in your post? Sex voice.

Okay, so just had a huge orgasm and telling myself in my head. Thanks. Five stars. Love, love, love this podcast. I'm 60 and raised where you don't talk about sex. Even though I just did it. They. They didn't write that. I wrote that part. I was raised. Okay, I can't.

I can't just do, like, the last two sentences in it.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, so we'll go on. Okay. I was raised in the Bible Belt, and it's just something you do to please your man. I can't read that in my sex voice. I saw that coming. It was like, this is just. That's like. That's like if. That's like. That's like if we're, like, having an argument and you're like, okay, now let's. Let's. Let's do that again. Put in our sex voices.

Okay.

All right, continuing on. Wow, this opens up a whole new world for me. I could do that one. Wow, this opens up a whole new world for me. Thank y' all for allowing me to know there's more out there for me than just being an object for someone else's pleasure. I'm learning. Oh, wait, sorry. I'm supposed to do this in my sex voice. I'm learning to enjoy the ride. Wink. Life begins at 60 for me.

Heart that got weird.

Oh, yeah. God, again, Again. I have to say, man, I'm sorry if this is the first episode of this podcast that you're ever listening to. Welcome to Pillow Talks. Enjoy the fucking ride. Giddy up, cowgirl cowboy.

So if you are brand new, we do a review of the week every week as our way to say thank you for taking the time to leave a review of the podcast. Reviews are the best way to help the podcast grow. So it really means so much to us, and it makes a big difference. And actually, we haven't mentioned this in a while either, but subscribing to the.

Podcast or follow, I think it. Different podcast apps are different things. Yeah. If you're listening right now, especially if you're listening on your phone, just, like, make sure that you've hit that follow or subscribe button. That helps us so, so, so much.

Yeah, I never knew that before having a podcast. I never Thought I was like, I'll just look up the podcast when I want to listen to an episode. But it makes a huge difference in terms of, like, the download numbers. Because it'll send the new episodes just straight to your phone.

Yeah. And then of course, it's ready to go for you as soon as we come out with a new podcast. And probably, like, it'll let you know, like, oh, hey, Vanessa and Xander have a new intimate podcast to share with you. I wish we could customize the notification, be something ridiculous like that, but we can't. Sorry.

I kind of like, I'm now I'm detouring. But I like where's the line as merch. Because it's like, not obvious. But if, like, if you saw another person wearing a like, where's the line Sweatshirt, you'd be like, oh, yeah, like, I know what you listen to.

It would just be.

I like the idea of having subtle merch where you have to, like, really be a listener to. You know, we've been talking about merch for two years and we've never made a single thing. But we will one day. So anyways, back to the review of the week. We want to say thank you for taking the time to leave a review. So once you leave it on Apple Podcasts every week going forward, you are entered into our giveaway. And if you hear your review read on an episode, email us@infovmtherapy.com tell us the username that you left the review with, and you will win one of four of our master classes for free. You get to pick. All right, so let's get into it. Let's go over our wildest, wackiest, most head scratching est sex tips from the Internet. So to start us off, there is a little section in our notes for this podcast episode that says surprise for Xander.

It's hidden.

Don't open until recording.

I haven't opened it.

It's a little toggle so he can't see it. So I got this DM from somebody when we posted that original question and they said they are an ER physician and they had a patient come in with something because they had tried out a tip that the guy had read in Cosmo.

Great. It had gone horribly wrong, which is why he's in the hospital, why he's in the er.

Yeah. So I just, I never wanted us to try this one, but I just thought it'd be interesting to have you read it out loud. And let's just hear what your reactions would be.

First of all, I just Want to express my gratitude for. You knew that this could send someone to the ER and you didn't ask us to do it. You really. I feel very.

I've got boundaries.

I feel very taken care of. I feel protected. You know, she knows where the line is.

Where's the line?

Where's the line?

Line is the er.

Yeah, the line is the er all.

Right, open it up and read it for us.

Okay. Let's open this puppy up. Okay. All right. I'm an ER physician, and I once had a patient who put his titanium wedding ring on his dick as a ring to surprise his wife. Oh, God. I already have a lot of questions and concerns about this.

He just looked at his wedding ring. Do you think you could even.

Like, I have. Okay, let's just put it this way. I don't want to be, like, comparing too much. I have.

I have a huge dick.

I have. I have very skinny fingers. Okay. Let's just put it that way. I have very skinny fingers. So for me. For me, this would not work regardless, hard or soft. Also, hey, I mean, like, I'm. I'm a. I'm a grower, not a shower. And yet this. This still would not work because of my skinny fingies.

Even if you add thick fingers, though, like, I don't know. I'm in shock. No, I'm not, like, trying to size shame anybody. Like, people are totally different sizes. Flaccid, and it has no relation to how big you are. Hard. But, like, a wedding ring is really small. Yeah, well, actually, that's a squeeze.

Yeah, well, I guess, you know. Yes, it wouldn't. It wouldn't fit. The thing is, is that, like, your soft penis is quite pliable.

I was showing you how pliable it is.

I was showing you this the other day. I can't remember what I did, though. You do. Wow. So, like, here's. Here's what I was gonna say, though, is that, like. Yeah, if I need. In a pinch, like, if. If. If you were, like, your life depends on whether you can slide. All right, hold for laughter.

You think you could do it? Really?

The head. The head would be the challenge. But I. I bet I could. I bet I could.

Do not try this.

I won't. I won't. Don't worry. I won't. So here's the thing. What I'm saying is I'm sure that in a pinch, I could, because when it softens, it's real pliable. But here's the thing. I'm looking at the ring. I know what I Know what it looks like when it gets hard. And I know. I know what it looks like when it gets hard, and I know that this would never work.

Okay, so the pliable thing. I do think anybody who was not born with a penis has never, like, interacted with it. You really, really feel like it's so much more delicate than it actually is. And I think that's because a lot of you penis owners are big babies about, like, oh, I got hit in the balls. They're like, oh, don't touch me.

Well, yeah, it's delicate. When you're talking about, like, blunt force. No one is like. No one is like, oh, God, it hurts so much when you gently rub it.

So I do think if you didn't grow up with a penis, you treat it a lot more delicately. So we talk about this in our foreplay guides. In our hand job section. We're like, you can use a lot more force than you might think. Like, it's. It's not a delicate thing. You can beat that penis up. Why don't we. Now I'm just doing, like, tangents on tangents. On tangents.

I love. This is usually what I do. So it's. I. I love seeing it in her.

I feel like there's so many rap songs that are all about, like, beat the up. It's like, it's really beat the penis.

I mean, it really is. I mean, that. That is. Is. It's chomping on that dick. It's grinding on the dick. I mean. I mean, the penis is enveloped. Like, it's getting beat the hell up.

Is that good dirty talk? I'm gonna beat your penis up tonight.

Beat the peen.

Beat the peen. It definitely has to be penis. It can't be, like, cock.

Well, yeah, I mean, I was gonna say it's not very sexy when you say, I'm gonna beat your penis up. Okay.

I have to gather myself. Oh, my God.

Okay, so you guys, like, sex doesn't have to be this serious thing, right? I'm just. I'm just, like, trying to fill time while she collects herself. But, you know, hey, it. It. It can be fun. It can be fun.

The test that we did. You. You don't remember the test that we did? Like, two weeks ago, I saw a TikTok where somebody was like, ladies, did you know you could twist it 360 degrees? And I was like, no way. Like, this is another. This is another, like, weird TikTok thing. And I, like, looked over it. I was like, you can't twist it 360 degrees. We were just on the couch watching TV. Xander whips his dick and he did it. He did a full 360. It was like he was more than 360. Now he's recording me. Get out of here. I know. We're supposed to start recording video of the podcast.

It's a little bts. BTS for Instagram.

You twisted it a full. Like, it was probably full 400 degrees. How did you do that? And it.

You were like.

It was like, no thing. You could have kept going.

No, I. I couldn't have.

What did it feel? I mean, that was terrifying. It was like an owl watching an owl. Stop looking at me like that. You got to say something.

She's crazed. She's crazed. All right, I'll stop that video. It didn't feel like much.

I know. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, it didn't feel like much. I mean, really, all it felt like was, you know, okay, it feels like I can't twist it much more, but it wasn't like, pain, like. Well, I mean, hey, this is foreshadowing to something that we'll talk about later. This is foreshadowing to something that we'll talk about later. But, yeah, when it's soft. When it's soft, you can't. You don't really feel that much until you got some blood in there.

I just was so horrified. I would. I just was like. I saw that TikTok, and I was like, no way. Like, maybe 180, but 360. Get out of here. And then it just happened in front of my eyes. My brain just exploded.

All right, so, partners of penis owners, here's something fun you can do tonight. Challenge your partner, see if they can do it. Just make sure it is as soft as it gets, because otherwise it ain't gonna happen.

Penis is so weird. It's crazy that that happens. I cannot. I, like, still. I'm in disbelief. I want to make you do it right now and show me again.

No, you got it. Once.

I feel like we just have to stop this episode here. Like, it's not gonna get any funnier than this. We blew our load right at the.

We did, but we have to finish this horror story.

We haven't even finished this story, so.

All right, so look, this guy, he put on his titanium wedding ring on his dick as a cock ring to surprise his wife. The ring went on but wouldn't come off. And it took me several hours and several dremel bits to cut through it. Luckily, he's going to be fine. This is why you should only use actual sex toys. Oh, he read about it in Cosmo.

Yeah, I told you that at first.

Yeah. So, hey, surprise. I need to go to the ER right now.

How do you feel reading about this? This attempt at trying out a sex tip?

It really pains me. It really pains. I'm sure. So look, I'm sure what this guy thought was, was okay. Well, if anything goes wrong, I just like, won't continue my. Let myself get soft and it'll come right off. Now the problem is the way that cock rings work is the whole idea is so like, like your blood flows in, you get hard, and then the cock ring actually effectively holds the blood in place so that like, it can't. It can't drain out. So it was sort of like, it was like a one way thing. I'm thinking of those little like, finger trap things where it's like, ye, yeah, you can put it in, no problem, but then you can't pull your finger out. So. Yeah, same kind of idea there.

Oh, wow. That was a good one. That was a really good one. Now I think we start the podcast episode here because it's not getting any funnier than that. Okay, I've gathered myself. I think we can continue on with the episode as planned. But I'm really glad we went down that detour within a detour within a detour. Okay, so the first real tip that we're gonna talk about, we're actually gonna send you somewhere else with this one too. So someone wrote in sex while in yoga poses. And so we did try out a lot of different yoga poses, but you really just have to see them in video. Like, we can't discuss them. Like, you need the full picture. You need to be able to see it. So Vanessa and Xander. Xander with an X on Instagram. Look for ourselves. Sex positions. Highlight. I promise you, you will laugh so hard watching that. Just go watch that. Okay, so let's get into the first real tip that we actually tried. So here's what we got sent on Instagram. As a teenager, my buddy said you still want to be soft when you enter her. Like, how?

All right, my first question here. So we, we did this. We did this and we go and talk about it. However, what I didn't realize when. When you told me we were going to try this was it. I have a lot of questions about, like, why as a teen, like, this is a weird tip for like a, like, teenager to be giving a teenager. Like, I Just have a lot of questions about that.

A misunderstanding, I think, about how PNV intercourse works.

Ah. Oh, yeah, well, yeah, that, that would make sense where it's like, oh, well, yeah, you get hard, so you might as well get hard in there instead of before. Or like, that's how you get hard. I mean, I could, I could see that. I could see my very early teenager brain thinking this because I remember having a lot of questions of like, well, like, yeah, okay, so like, I know that you get an erection and then you have sex and that's how you make a baby. But like, how do you get the erection? So I could see my brain jump, you know, I think I realized because it probably happened to me soon enough, that I was like, ah, I see, it just happened. But you know, I could have, I could have seen myself thinking, oh, well, then maybe if you just put it in there, put it close to it, it knows.

Okay, so this is one of the ones that we have a little bit of a, you know, post sex recap session about. So I think we should play the voice note.

Roll the tape.

Yeah, roll the tape. And then we'll come back and talk about it. I mean, I think I. I think I like the feeling of like a very hard dick going into me.

But it got there, it got there pretty quick.

It's just like. Yeah, it's. It's a different sensation. It's worth trying for sure. But then you got. It got you in the zone. Yeah, I think something about something happened.

There was something to that one.

Something happened.

It was like, because I got hard inside and it wasn't like I didn't like, enter you hard. That's my orgasm. Like, it was as if. I don't know how to describe this, but it was like I. We were able to go super slow for a very long time.

Very long time.

Very fun, very enjoyable.

It was very long. Okay, one. I love how your brain just short circuits after an orgasm and you can't really talk or describe things.

But wait a minute, a couple.

I grabbed the phone, like immediately after we were done. I was like, we gotta record this. Okay. So backing up. Trying to make penetration happen with a soft penis was challenging.

It takes some pre planning. Like, this is not one to just spring on your partner in the moment. Like, I think this is an important one. You have a plan, you gotta talk about it. Like, hey, we're gonna try this here. Like, we're gonna try this and if it doesn't work, like, here's how we're gonna Pivot out of it, I think. What. So we started out with it. We started out with, like, me trying. We basically were kind of missionary ish and, like. But, you know, I kind of, I think, had, like, a full push up with one hand. So then I was using my other hand to try to get it in, and that was a challenge. I. I asked for help because I quickly realized, like, I couldn't. I didn't have it.

It wasn't hard to help.

It wasn't hard. And so I was like, well, I'm, like, really pushing on my soft penis to try to get it inside of her. But, like, I'm not positive. I'm pushing in the exact right spot. See, I'm not. My. My head isn't right there.

Yeah.

So, like, I can't really see what, like, where. Where I'm going. So I was like, I need you, because you're gonna know where exactly. Yeah. You know where exactly to push it. And I was just like, all right, like, I need your help with this. Don't worry about hurting. Like, I'll let you know if it hurts me.

So I, like. The beginning of that voice note is me saying, like, I actually felt, like, really awkward.

This.

It just felt like I was having to, like, squeeze your penis and kind of, like, stuff it in, stuffing it into me. It just felt strange and kind of awkward, and it just. Yeah, it felt uncomfortable for me. I just didn't really love it in the moment. And, like, even at the beginning as well, like, when you were soft, like, when we started, you were like, oh, this is actually kind of interesting. And I was like. I'm like. I mean, I just wasn't feeling much sensation. I mean, and I think that's a super important thing to say, is that vaginas are. Do not have a ton of nerve endings like most women. Most vagina owners don't feel a ton of sensation from penetration alone. What we're really getting the sensation from is, like, when there's a larger hard object in there that's pushing on the walls. So it just, like, it really didn't feel like much, and it felt like I felt uncomfortable.

Yeah. I mean, to be honest, it didn't feel like that much to me because I think, you know, you. You don't feel as much in your penis until it is fully hard. It felt nice. And I think for me, there was also an element of, like, kind of, like. Like a slight, like, naughty or bad element of, like. Of like, not like, I'm not supposed to be doing this. But just like, oh, like, this is kind of, like. It's kind of bad. We're just like. We're just, like, sitting around here doing something that we're not supposed to do, kind of. Even though there's no reason why you're not supp. Do that.

Yeah. I think what this reminded me of is it reminded me of, like, my sex life before I met you, of being with partners who were having trouble getting hard, and they were, like, trying to, like, not acknowledge it, just trying to kind of, like, stuff it in. And, like. And, you know, you can tell, like, we've done episodes about performance issues before. Like, you can tell when people are experiencing performance anxiety. They kind of go off in their own little worlds. They're so anxious, just, like, up in their heads. And so it was this feeling of, like, being very alone in that moment. Of, like, oh, you're just trying to, like, act like this is really happening, and you're kind of ignoring me because you're so anxious. And I just, like. It's. Oh, it's just this, like, really uncomfortable feeling. So I think that's what I was.

Feeling at the beginning, but I was right there with you. I was right there with you. And, yeah, very quickly, because we were at the start of things.

I mean, this was, like, 10 seconds of, like, uncomfortableness. And then you were like, oh, things are starting to happen.

Yeah. I was like, oh, it kind of feels good when we, you know, grind on each other. And then I was like, okay, yeah.

Because you can't thrust. Like, it was just kind of moving our bodies together. And then. Yeah, so you got hard. And then it was like. The vibe was totally different.

It was.

It went from this. Like, it was awkward and uncomfortable, and I'm like, oh, God, know if I want to continue with this. But then it was like, oh, oh, oh, okay.

It's different.

It did hit different.

You got hit different.

Well, you just got into this zone. I don't think it was me at first. It was you.

It was me.

You were. You looked so proud of yourself right now. It was me. Xander just got in this zone of, like, being very slow and sensual and, like, it was very sexy.

So here's what was going on for me. I think this is. This is my. Me doing my best job to kind of describe the vibe and what this was like for me. I'm curious if this is what, you know, if others try this, if this is what it's like for them, and also acknowledge this is a one out of one sample size. We haven't repeated this, so who knows? It might be totally different the next time we try this. But. But what it was like was like, so you get it in and it's soft and it doesn't feel like that much. It's like. It feels nice. It doesn't feel, like, super stimulating. So then, like, I, you know, I got hard. And I knew that I was hard because I could feel it as I was, you know, moving slowly in and out, but, like, it didn't quite feel the same. And it wasn't like I was getting less stimulation, but it felt like I. I felt like less of, like, a need, I guess, to really kind of go hard or, you know, to. To move with, like, that, like, with much intensity at all. And I think part of that was that because it was like, it kind of tricked my brain into. Like, there wasn't any excitement of entering her or, like, anticipation of, oh, yeah, like, I'm hard, I want to put it in. It was like, oh, well, I'm already in, and now I've become hard. And. And it was sort of like I had just already acclimated to, oh, well, this is what it feels like to be inside of her. And so it was just like. It kind of felt like this just slow increase in intensity of like, okay, cool. So we're just kind of grinding. We're just kind of moving. Then we were moving a little more, and it was feeling nice, but it wasn't like, yeah, I didn't kind of feel like I had this pressure that, like, I needed to release, per se. And so, yeah, I was like, huh, this feels really nice to just keep going really slowly. And that's what we did for a while.

Yeah, we had sex for a really long.

Yeah, the longest time we've done it. Recent memory in a long time.

Yep. And then you also had the longest orgasm maybe I've ever experienced you having. Like, it was. It just kept going.

It was very long. It was different and it was long. Like, I won't say it was the best orgasm I've ever had. It was kind of one of those things where it was like the entire experience was so pleasurable. Like, I would say, in general, the. The overall sexual experience was far more pleasurable than it usually was. And maybe the. The orgasm was relatively a little less, but, like, in totality, I probably derived far more, like, pleasure or satisfaction out of the whole experience than usual. And it was. Yeah, it was a very long orgasm, but I guess it was kind of like, because I hadn't really Been like, you know, we hadn't been like thrusting hard. There wasn't like a. It didn't really feel like there was a huge release, even though, I mean, obviously all of that happened. It was just different. It was different. It was, it was fun.

It was different.

And I do it again. I wouldn't do it every time, but I would definitely do it again.

Who would have thought? I'm very curious to know, like, yeah, we'll try this again. I'm curious to know how it will feel different, like knowing that it ended up being an enjoyable experience. But yeah, I never in a million years would have guessed that we would have enjoyed this so much, but it was fun. Before we go any further, let's tell you a little bit more about ZocDoc. So I think we've all had the experience of having some sort of new confusing, kind of weird symptom. We start googling it and there's just a whole bunch of scary stuff that comes up and it's really, really nerve wracking to like, on the one hand you want to get more information, you want to find out the answers. On the other hand, the Internet is giving you some very scary answers. I mean, I know I've googled random symptoms before and pull up these articles and they're like, oh, yeah, that could be a sign of cancer. It's always the worst freaking scenario. And it just causes you so much stress and so much anxiety and, and of course you can't actually do anything with those Internet search results, right? So ZocDoc is a really great app that just makes it so much easier to find a trusted medical care provider who can actually answer your questions, give you the accurate information, not all the crap that you can find on the Internet. ZocDoc is actually the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, are available when you need them, and treat almost every condition under the sun. So, as you guys know, we are really serious about vetting the sponsors on our podcast. We want to make sure that these are products that we've tried that we think are beneficial. And we've had members of our team who have used ZocDoc before they even approached us to be a sponsor, they use them. They had such a great experience with how easy it was, how quick it was to find a doctor, how great that doctor actually was. So when we first got approached by them and we got to hear these stories, it was like, okay, this is a no brainer for a sponsor. Like this is an app, it's free, and it's really helping people, especially in a very stressful and difficult time of need. So felt like a no brainer for us. You can go to Zocdoc.com pillow and download the Zocdoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. A lot of them are available within 24 hours. That is Z O C D O C.com pillow Zocdoc.com/pillow. Let's tell you a little bit more about Cozy Earth. I am not kidding. We opened up the notes for our podcast episode today to see who our podcast sponsors were. And we both cheered. We audibly cheered when we saw that Cozy Earth was listed.

Cozy Earth.

We, we love Cozy Earthy Earth, are obsessed with Cozy Earth. We want them to be podcast sponsors every freaking week. So we can just continue talking about them. We love them so much. Okay, let's tell you a little bit about what the heck Cozy Earth actually is. And first, let me also tell you, we've teamed up with Cozy Earth and they are offering you up to 35% off when you use the code pillow talks@cozyearth.com and that's cozy with a Z. I think people spell that incorrectly a lot of times, including myself. Okay, so Cozy Earth makes bedding. They make bath towels. They have clothing. Now the things that we are most obsessed with are, hands down, the bedding. The bedding is so good.

It's so good. It's so good.

It just keeps getting better.

It does. We were out of town this weekend and, like, staying in a really nice hotel. And honestly, every time we stay in a nice hotel and then we come home, I'm like, thank God I'm home. I'm back in my bed. I'm in the best sheets ever. Like, traveling is. No, is not exciting anymore because I'm like, well, my bedding at home's better.

The sheets are unbelievable. So the ones that we have are the linen variety. We have it for the sheets. We have for the duvet cover. It's just. It's so soft and it just keeps getting softer. Like every single wash, it's just softer and softer and softer. We are also converting my family into Cozy Earth fanatics. So we bought my parents a sheet set for Christmas. This is like, I'm not joking, you guys. I'm not just saying this because they're a podcast sponsor. Like, we are spending our own money buying Cozy Earth stuff as gifts for people. So we bought a sheet set for my parents for Christmas. And just this week my mom was like, what is the name of that company that you bought the sheets from? Like, we need to buy another set.

And I'm pretty sure, I mean, no shade to vanilla parents. I'm pretty sure they have not even considered purchasing bedding for like 20 or more years. So the fact that this is the thing that got them to decide to invest in bedding after never doing it, that says something.

So you need to check them out. There's. Their products are so great. We are so excited to have them as a podcast sponsor. We know that you are going to love them. Trust us on this. And especially like, like just a few washes. Give them a few washes and you will feel the magic. And they have put together such an incredible discount code. I don't think we've ever had a discount code this high before. So they have an exclusive offer for Pillow Talks listeners. You can get up to 35% off site wise when you use the code. Pillow talks@cozyearth.com you can bet your bottom dollar I gave my mom that coupon code. Okay, well, let's move on to the other tips that we tried.

Will we recommend the other? But we started with a bang.

We've got some bad ones next. Okay, so one was to make a V with your fingers. So I interpreted this as. This was a tip for me and I interpreted this as pointer and middle finger.

Like a peace sign?

Yeah, like a peace sign over your vulva while the penis is going in and out and play with pressure. So I tried this one. I didn't feel anything. It actually felt a little bit weird because you're like. I was basically just pressing into my pubic bone. So I was like, that just feels like a strain. Dull thud. It doesn't really feel anything. Good. So this is one of those things. I think we said this a lot in the last episode. Like, we always encourage people to experiment and try things. Every body is different. Everybody has sex in different ways and we are all about that. So give this a try. If it happens to create more like pressure, intensity or sensation for you, that's awesome. For my body, it did nothing. It actually felt like, like uncomfortable. So I would never do that one again. But while I was doing that, I remembered a different tip that had been going around on TikTok for a little while and nobody actually had submitted this one, which I was surprised by. But the whole tip was to apply pressure on your lower abdomen during sex. So I've seen people talk about like, either, like the Woman doing that to herself or her partner doing it to her, but, like, just putting a little bit of pressure there.

The mons pubis?

Yeah, like, kind of between the mons pubis, like, a little bit higher. So I played around with different locations and different levels of pressure. So for me, just simply applying straight down pressure didn't really do anything. But what did feel interesting was to apply a little bit of pressure and then lift up, like, pulling up a little bit.

Do you think this works because of, like, the internal structure of the clitoris and that perhaps pushing. Just maybe kind of gives push, like, makes a slight adjustment to the placement of the legs of the clitoris?

More that you're. What you're. What you're doing is you are sort of like tugging at the labia a little bit. And, like, the labia are around the clitoris. So I think it's. It's more the external part or like the shallowest parts of the clitoris that you're sort of creating a little bit of indirect stimulation on.

So you're kind of like stretching or moving your. In, like, your anatomy very slightly so that perhaps you got better stimulation.

No, there's like, actual stimulation from the pulling itself.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. It was really interesting. So I've tried this in a couple of different positions. Like, it works really well with a woman on top. So I think that this is something that everybody should try. Like, again, there's no harm if it doesn't work for you, but for me, it did feel really good. And I. Yeah, there were times where I was like, ooh. I think I could, like, just do this pulling up thing. And, like, combined with the sensation of penetration from intercourse, like, I think I could have an orgasm that way. Like, it was. It was surprising for me.

Well, what I'm wondering then is, like, this would be like an odd. An odd product. But, like, it's like, you almost need a band. No, like, just like a band that goes around. Around the bons pubis.

The mons pubis.

I mean, it would be. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It would be an odd, Odd product where it'd be like, oh, like, you gotta slip on the band or something. But, like, you know, it would. It would provide the pressure and then you'd be ready to go.

No, I. I'm fine doing it with my hand. Or you could do it with your hand, too. I think, especially in women on top, like, if you were to put a little bit of pressure, the palm of your hand.

Is it like a constant pressure that Was good or is it like.

No, just a constant pressure.

A cons. Oh, yeah. I may maybe imagine that might be challenging for the other partner to do because you're moving and so it would be like, oh, I.

No, it'd be fine. Like. Yeah, you don't have to, like, move with me to make sure the pressure is constant, but just, like, having it there.

Okay.

Yeah, it was very interesting. I was into it. Okay. Then we had a whole series of techniques for woman on top. So the first one, someone said, wear a long necklace when you're on top, so it tickles his body.

Oh. Like some Mardi Gras beads.

So we actually couldn't do this one because I don't. I don't have, like, that long of a necklace.

You're not a hangy jewelry type of person.

I was trying to think of, like, is there any household, like, could I take, like, an electrical cord? Like an extension cord? Sounds like a bad idea or something like that.

Yeah, we got a lot of, you know, a lot of, like, USB cables and stuff. You know, like from our mics and various.

Actually, hold on. Let's try this. Let's try it live. Babe, take your shirt off.

Off. Wait, what are you going to grab, though?

Just trust me. Take your shirt off.

Oh, God. All right. My. My shirt is off. This is getting intimate.

I have a phone charging cord. Okay.

It's kind of a bad tickle.

You don't like tickle sensations?

Yeah. No. So let's get on to this feel. But this feels fine. Yeah.

I mean, do you like it or it's like it. Would you actually want me to do this during sex?

No. No. So let's. Let's talk about the next thing, because the next thing was more enjoyable to me. What I was gonna say is I would rather it be like your skin touching me than some external, like, you know.

Okay.

Like. Like plastic or bead, whatever beads are.

The next tip that we tried said, when you're on top, line your nipples up with your partners so they're touching this.

Okay.

We have a foot height difference between the two of this. So logistically, this was very difficult to do. I was really having to, like, crane down and, like, crunch over, like, trying to get my nipples to touch yours. Also, your body is a lot wider than mine, so it's like only one nipple can be touching at the same time. So I think the thing that you said was you're like, well, it feels nice to have your boobs, like, rubbing on me, but there's nothing in particular about, like, having the nipples, like, perfectly lined up.

Yeah, no, no, it was. Had really nothing to do with the nipples, but more it was definitely hot to have you, you know, to have your boobs. Boobs. Your boobs draped over me and kind of, you know, rubbing on me a little bit. I enjoyed that. So, yeah, like I was saying, hey, it's just. It's nice to have. Have more skin touching you when you're having sex. So. Yeah, that was nice.

I mean, I. I do that when I'm on top. Like, sometimes I'll just bend down and, like, get closer to you, you know? So, like, that's fine. Do that. But, yeah, there's no secret trick about, like, having nipple to nipple contact?

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I would not spend any time worrying about, like, oh, my God, are the nipples touching the nipples? And, like, honestly, I mean, you could just reach down and probably rub me with. You know, rub my chest with your hands, and that would be quite nice as well.

Yeah. So those ones were fails. The next one was spell your name with your hips while you ride the.

D. I like how they submitted Ride.

The D. Ride the D or while you beat up the D. Yeah. Or spell the word coconut. So I tried both, and both were a miserable failure. So, I mean, even just, like, try spelling a word with your hips. Like, you make the weirdest, most, like, frantic little movement.

Yeah. By the way, I am trying to do it right now, and Vanessa thinks that's pretty funny.

Wait, do it again. Like, sit up. Do a full.

Yeah, I'm gonna do X A. Hold on. I still got a couple letters to go.

Wait, wait. Just start over at the X.

Okay. X, A, and D, E, R. I did it.

Okay. Did that feel sexy to you?

Well, no, it didn't.

Okay. So that was the main thing for me is I was like, I don't feel sexy moving my hips in this way. And you're having to really concentrate to think about, like. Like, oh, wait, how do I, like, move my hips to do that? So it put me in my head. It did not feel sexy at all. And the actual sensation that it created was terrible.

My suspicion with tips like this is that it's not actually about there being anything especially sexy about spelling a certain word. People get keyed in on the specific, like, oh, co. It's coconut. Coconut. Or like, your name coconut. She can tell it's your name, and that's so hot. It has nothing to do with that. I bet all this is, it's trying to get you to switch up some techniques so it's like, to focus on more of a grinding movement than on, like, an up or down movement. And so I think the reason why these tips kind of get play is because it's like, there's a lot of people that maybe aren't really that good at cowgirl, don't really know what they're doing and are focusing on, like, oh, like, you know, going up and down a lot. And it's like, all this does is take you out of what you typically do and try something a little different, like, you know, being fully focused on grinding, which we totally recommend. It's a great way to, you know, for the. For the person on top to feel really good and get more clitoral stimulation. And it's a great way for the person on the bottom to get to have kind of, like a little bit of a break to last a little longer.

So, yeah, we're all about grinding, not bobbing up and down.

Yeah. See, like, what I think with these tips is that there. There's a. A. There's a shred of truth.

Oh.

To them, there's a shed of tooth.

Wow. OG podcast listeners will know.

Super old OG callback. But, yeah, there's a shred of truth to it. But instead of just giving the tip in plain English, like, hey, grinding can actually be a lot better when you're on top than trying to bob up and down, which is going to be really hard on your muscles, and it's going to make your partner want to come really fast. Instead of just giving the tip and saying why, it's like this circuitous route of like, oh, try this crazy thing where you do the word coconut. Coconut makes everybody come.

Should that be a sweatshirt, too? Coconut makes everybody come. No, I don't like it. Okay, so this one was a big old fail. We were not into it. Do not try it. Okay, the next tip. This. This one was a doozy. It was. It was really something. So the tip was, while you're on top, while the woman is on top, keep him inside you and slowly rotate around 360 degrees.

Kind of like my penis.

Like your penis.

We've come full circle, ladies and gentlemen. We have come full circle. There is a damn good reason why we told that story and we spent 20 minutes doing it. It's because we are. We are comedic geniuses. We are comedic geniuses. That was just the biggest callback of all time in this episode. Oh, my God.

I told you.

Boom. We got you.

Wow. That was. That was something. I'm proud of us, actually. Okay. I think for this one, though, to. To do the debrief of. Of what this was really like. I think we just. The tape.

Yeah. Well, I mean, really, the options are you can have Vanessa do her, like, cackle laughing live on the podcast, or you can get Vanessa cackle laughing through her phone in the voice memo. So take. You know, this. She's already done enough cackling on the podcast, so now we'll just give it to you in a different format.

And then we did the spinner.

The weirdest thing I've ever done around the world. Three, six.

I did a full 360.

She was on top.

In case anyone's wondering, it was really hard to do. Like, even from the first. The first movement, I was like, I don't understand how to turn.

It was like a puzzle.

It was a puzzle to figure out. Like, I had to put my knee up on top of your chest, and I'm worried about hurting you.

I would say it was a fun game. There's nothing. Nothing sexy about it because it's not easy.

The most unsexy thing.

Try to do it in a sexy or quick way. Like, you're gonna hurt.

You have to go so slow, and it's really scary trying to figure out how to make it work and not hurt your partner and not hurt yourself. And it was so stupid. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

Yeah. The best part about it. The best part about it was that once it was done, we got to go back to what we were doing before it.

It was truly awful. Like, I've. I've never felt so dumb during sex.

I've never felt so excited of, like, okay, we made it to reverse cowgirl. We made it. Now we can stay in this position for a little while, and then we can continue.

You're like, just stop for a second. Like, let me enjoy this for a second.

Yeah. I was like, come on, give me a little bit.

Wait. You know what I think we should do is I think we should make you act this out. I think we should drag the podcast mic down to the ground. I will be you, you will be me. I. I want you to see how hard this is. It's really hard. Okay. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it right next to your mic.

Okay. All right. How are we going to do this?

Okay, move your.

Yeah.

Okay. I'm getting down onto the ground. Xander's straddling me.

All right, I'm riding her.

Okay, so try to turn 360.

Okay, wait, hold on. Okay. How did you. I mean, I guess I.

You gotta narrate what you're doing. Hold on.

Okay. Okay, I'm gonna go to the left instead of the right so I'm closer to the mic. I think I'd probably ask you to spread your likes, babe. Okay.

And then imagine you have to keep. No, no, you're going too far. You have to keep your pelvis. No, no, no. Your pelvis has to stay here. You have to maintain penetration.

I can't do it. I just can't do it.

Just keep trying. Okay. Pelvises have to be close. No, Irtifara.

I don't know. I think I'm still there. Okay, There. This is just not happening. I don't know how you did it. I give up. Right?

It's really hard.

Yeah. It's not hard, though, right now.

Okay. I'm glad you tried that out. It's. It's, like, shockingly hard. When I read the tip, I was like, oh, yeah, okay, whatever. I'll do that. But then when I was there in the moment, I was like, like. Like, I couldn't even figure out the first step to take. It was so hard.

Yeah. Wow. I mean, I've. I got a lot of respect for. For you in that. I don't even know where you put your leg.

All right, so that one. No, that is a big old no. I mean, if you want to cry, laughing, then give it a shot. But this is not a fun sex tip at all.

No, it's not. Okay.

Our next tip was to keep your socks on. A lot of people seem to think that keeping your socks on will give you a better orgasm.

Well, here's what I think about this one. First of all, I think this is one of the more dumb things that get so much attention. But the reality is. So, like, if you look this one up, where does this observation come from? Like, what is the data that shows us that having your socks on are more likely to give you an orgasm? There is one study from the Netherlands of 13 couples where. I mean, I'm not really sure what the research methods were, but it was like, the researchers gave some of them socks, and they reported it was like 80% orgasm rate versus 50% orgasm rate rate for the woman. But, like, with 13 couples, that's not very many people. Like, the likelihood that, like, who knows what happened? That the socks were just a, like, random variable in there. Like, yeah, you need, like, 130 people.

Yeah. Maybe people are way too small.

A thousand people. And you need to control all the other variables.

So this is an issue. Like, you can design a research study to tell you anything that you want, but correlation does not equal causation, friends. So just because two things happen in the same study doesn't mean that one is causing the other. So my guess about this is that, okay, look, wearing socks is an unusual thing. Most people. Most people do not wear socks when they're having sex. So these couples who were randomly assigned the socks, my guess is like, maybe the women were like, oh, this is kind of strange. Then the women who felt more comfortable just, like, rolling with the punches and saying, like, oh, this is silly. But, like, okay, let's continue on. Versus women who maybe had some sexual perfectionism, like we talk about in our book Sex Talks, or felt like, oh, this isn't sexy, or, this is weird. I'm not supposed to be doing this. Maybe then they got so in their heads about it that they struggled. So it's really more about, like, just your general level of comfort with sex and your confidence rather than, like, the socks themselves caused this magical orgasm.

Yeah. Or, I mean, also, I don't know, like, did the researchers tell them, like, here, wear these socks while you're having sex because it might help you. Then there's like, this whole placebo impact of, like, are you thinking, oh, you're giving me socks to wear, and these socks are going to make me have a better orgasm? And so then therefore, you kind of primed yourself to, like, to have an orgasm. You've All. You've. You've manifested it, so to speak.

Yeah.

So, yeah. I mean, the only thing that I can think of, like, reading about this is that, you know, the. That. Yeah. There is, you know, if you are cold like that.

Yeah. If you're cold.

If you're cold, you're not really setting yourself up for success in bed. And yeah, you do lose a lot of heat out of your feet and out of your head. So, I mean, hell, like, wear a hat. Wear a hat and socks if you really want to make sure that you are going to be warm and comfortable. Because being warm and comfortable is definitely going to, you know, make you more relaxed and have a better time.

Yes. Do whatever you need to do to make sex feel comfortable. If you like wearing socks, if your feet get cold, whatever it is, like, do those things, but don't expect that you can just put socks on and magically you're gonna become wildly orgasmic. Okay, our last tip of the day, we're ending on one that we did not try. I was not open to trying this one. Somebody wrote, co worker gave advice to a virgin that guys think it's sexy if you let them come in your eye. No, no.

This sounds like, like, basically a bully. Sounds like a bully who's just like, I just want to with this co worker and tell them something that is going to be extremely painful because that will burn the out of your eye.

Yeah, I don't care if your partner does think that's sexy. Come in your eye hurt. Hurts. It stings. So I'm, I'm not going there. Not going there.

Don't, don't. And yeah, don't. Don't haze your friends. It's not cool. I know it's not cool to give intentionally bad sex advice to your friends because the reality is, is that it's likely that they will believe it and be like, oh, my God, thank you so much for giving me this tip. That is going to be really great. And then it's not great. And that's like, that's what like Cosmo and all these other things have done to us for too long. Break the cycle, people.

Wow.

Yes.

Well, we really went on quite an adventure, you and I.

We did. Wow. Like I said in that voice memo, really around the world in this one. Except I didn't go around the world because I was not able to.

I'm like sore from laughing. That was a lot.

We might, you know what? We might have to do a clothed version of that where you do it so that, I mean, I want to see on video, like, how you actually did it. And I think others might want to know how you did it too, because I'm at a loss.

So let us know if you want to see that video and let us know if there are any other sex tips that you come across that any urban legends that you've heard, like, what should we try out next? We will continue being the guinea pigs and embarrassing ourselves making these intimate episodes for you. So come on over to Instagram at Vanessa and Xander and let. Let us know. And we also totally forgot to mention earlier that if you want genuinely good techniques and step by step strategies for having more fun and feeling more pleasure during intercourse, we have an incredible, incredible guide. Next level, intercourse. So this guide goes over 42 different positions that actually work, not the bad yoga ones, like actually the really good ones.

And we've tested them them all.

We've tested them all. We give super step by step techniques for, like, how to get into them, out of them, transition in between them, maximize Pleasure for both partners, little modifications.

That you can make within them.

I mean, it's actually like, hundreds of positions with all the modifications. And we've divided them into categories, like, what's great for people who are pregnant, what are romantic positions great for anal sex. Like, all sorts of different cat. I think we. We have 11 different categories of things. And there are also tons of tips for increasing pleasure for women particularly. So we did a poll on Instagram. 91% of women told us that intercourse is not their favorite activity. So we knew that we had to put a lot of tips and techniques into this guide for how to increase pleasure. So make sure that both partners are having a satisfying and enjoyable experience.

Hell, yeah.

So there are so many amazing techniques and tips that actually work, that have been tested out and tried out. They actually work. They're so much fun. And I think one thing that, if I can toot our own horn for a second, one thing that we do is make, like, exploring new techniques feel really fun. So I know it's easy to get in your head and think, like, oh, God, I don't want to have to, like, buy a guide for intercourse. Like, aren't I supposed to already know how to do it? Is this admitting that I'm bad at it or admitting to my partner that they're bad at it? Absolutely not. Like, the tone of our guides is so fun. It's just like, yeah, there's always something new for us to learn. Always something new for us to explore. Like, let's have fun together. Let's create intimacy by having these explorations together.

I mean, and part of that is that we, in this guide, we give you our best tip for how to make doing these things fun. Like, a way to basically get comfortable doing it so that you're not just, like, springing it on your partner in the moment. And we have a bunch of fun games in there for how you can try these different positions, kind of journeys that you can take. So, you know, we. We just try to lighten it up. It is. It's not a serious topic. It is a fun.

It's super fun. So we'll put a link to that in the show notes. Go check that out.

All right, well, that's it for today's episode of Pillow Talks. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being with us. That intimacy. Perfect. Perhaps too much. I don't know. Let us know what you think. Join us again next week when we ask, what do women really think about fill in the blank in bed?

Well, not all in bed. It's a. It's a whole women's opinions episode. It'll be very intriguing. We have a what do men really think about, like, two of those episodes? They're some of our most popular episodes. So we had to turn things around and do a what do women really think about this?