EPISODE 55: The 69 Episode

Unique oral opportunities for both partners. Why does this remind me of like a. It reminds me of like a timeshare advertisement for some reason. Yeah, unique.

It sounds like a marketing bullet.

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your hosts, Vanessa and Xander Marin. I'm a sex Therapist with over 20.

Years of experience and I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step by step techniques for improving yours.

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. The best thermostat number. According to Kevin from the Office.

It's a number the NBA won't allow on the back of a jersey.

It's the number that Bill and Ted are thinking when they meet Future Bill and ted. It is 69. Today is not only 6 9. June 9th, right?

Thanks for the translation.

Yeah, you're welcome.

For our European friends, you're probably wondering what the hell are you talking about? It is not 6 9. It is 9 6.

Well, for us it's 69, our favorite day of the year. Not really. We have a lot of other favorite days of the year.

But should we wait. Should we wait until the 6th of September to do the European version of this?

Yeah, we can celebrate.

You can celebrate 69 Day twice a year.

Twice a year. Well, look at that. So not only is it the incredibly wonderful special day of 69, it's also the one year anniversary of the Pillow Talks podcast. We actually did that completely on accident. We did not realize it until much after, but it is the one year anniversary. So today we are going to be talking about 69ing where this position came from, why something people hate it and some people love it. And some of our favorite 69 tips and tricks. And we're also going to be doing a little walk down memory lane and sharing some of our favorite memories from one year of Pillow Talks.

Wow. Can't wait.

Sounds really. You sound really excited.

Wow. No, but you know what? For real, I'm so excited to get into our review of the week because I'm looking at it for the first time. Pillow talk, laughter and more.

Wow.

This podcast is full of knowledge and laughter. Vanessa and Xander have me literally laughing out loud while also giving insight into such a topic typically marked uncomfortable and make it a very light and informative conversation. My significant other shared this podcast with me and I never thought there would be a podcast I could listen to about sex. This is a. Wow. This emoji.

It's a new emoji.

It's new. And it also seems larger than usual. I love this. It is a hands covering the eyes, except on one hand, the fingers are. Are open very slightly. It's kind of. It's kind of like. It is exactly what I do when we go see horror movies.

Oh, okay.

I really hate horror movies. Vanessa loves them. She drags me to see them every now and then.

Every now and then?

Yeah.

Three times in 14 years.

Yeah. And I often will have my eyes closed for much of the movie, and I' just, like, peek out. I've. I've learned that basically the main action tends to happen right on the middle of the screen. So if I just look around the periphery, I get a sense of what's happening and not have to see everything. Wow. Yeah. That's my strategy for avoiding scary movies.

Just like this person used to avoid sex.

Yeah, they used to avoid. Yeah, I guess so. So, you know, they never thought there would be a podcast I could listen to about sex and feel so comfortable. We love this podcast and highly recommend it.

Oh, thank you so much for your great review.

Yeah, I mean, and hu. Thanks to your significant other for turning you on to it.

Oh, it's turning you on and turning you on to the podcast. We appreciate your reviews so much. It makes us feel really good to get to read one every single week. And it helps us grow the podcast so much helps us reach new couples. Apple's more likely to suggest the podcast to people if there are more reviews. So seriously, it means so much to us if you take just 60 seconds out of your day to leave us a little review like this. And we do a giveaway every single week. If you're picked as the winner, you can DM us on Instagram ennessamarintherapy. Ask us a question, and we will give you a mini personalized coaching session right then and there. Just as our little way of saying thank you for the reviews. All right. So how do you feel about pillow talks being a year old? Can you believe that it's been a year? It doesn't seem like it.

Not really. It's pretty wild. It doesn't feel like it's been a year.

No, not at all.

It really doesn't. However, what I will say is that when we, like, listen, Vanessa and I don't, like, sit around just listening to our podcast over and over again. But occasionally, we will need to listen to a little bit or, like, find a little snippet from an older one. And my. I can just speak for myself. My comfort level with podcasting has skyrocketed.

You're very confident now, and I think you were pretty nervous. I mean, we both were. We were having to find our footing, something brand new that we've never done before.

Yeah, I mean, my. My involvement in the business or kind of like being a face of our business was more of just getting more comfortable doing Instagram stories with Vanessa. So I was, you know, somewhat more comfortable speaking in, like, little 60 second increments or 30. What is a story? 30 seconds?

Yeah.

Yeah. And starting talking for, like 40, 50, 60 minutes is like a whole different. A whole different thing. But no, I mean, we've really up leveled our. All the back end stuff for the podcast. Like, we have a very structured way. Our team helps us. We brainstorm topics.

We have microphones.

Yeah, we brainstorm topics. We put together an outline. We are super prepared. We're ready to go. We got really nice microphones. We have an amazing editor. We're just super professional. And we got advertisers even.

Look at us. Look at us growing up. No, I mean, I have had a lot of fun recording this podcast with you. It is really fun. I did not expect that I would laugh so much every single week. And even the episodes where we started, like, we were a little cranky or we got in a little snippety thing over, like, no, don't say it like that. Or I want to say it like this. It's always ended up being really fun.

Yeah.

I feel like it's really helped our intimacy grow too, to just be able to talk about this every week.

Oh, yeah, I was. I was gonna, you know, piggyback on that. Just, I think that you and I have even figured out new ways to relate with each other and deal with conflict and work together better as a result of this. Like, Vanessa kind of alluded to, you know, getting snippy with each other occasionally. And. And I think that this has really helped us realize, like, oh, yeah, the. The energy that we bring into recording something creative. Like, this is really important. And it's not like we can just wait around for that energy to feel just right and then be like, okay, let's sit down, record a podcast. We record the podcast every day at the same time. And, you know, we kind of needed to figure out ways to be like, hey, if we aren't feeling 100% energized, like, what are things that we can do to help us get in the mood, so to speak.

We really discovered the power of your dancing.

Yes, my dancing can move mountains.

It makes me so happy.

Yes, I can win anyone over with my dancing.

I started so many episodes.

Good thing I don't go out to the club anymore.

There have been so many episodes and I'm like, xander, dance for me, dance for me, dance for me. So we went over to Instagram and we asked people like, share with us your favorite podcast, memories from the last year. So we're gonna share a few of them with you. A big one was Magger's World. Magger's World. The weird tangent that I went on at the very beginning of an episode about how our dog Maggie has her own podcast. Yeah, somebody actually in this. They said in one of your episodes, you guys made a very brief mention. Was it a joke? Of the voices you do for Maggie and then you alluded to Maggie's podcast. I searched long and hard for that podcast and never found it. Was it a joke? I'll never know, but I was committed and fervent.

Oh, props. Props to you. Props to you.

We did track it down. It is episode 44. It's right at the beginning, like the first. Within the first minute or two minutes. And it's actually Magger's World.

Yeah. And you know, you just didn't search hard enough for it. It's somewhere on the Internet. No, I'm just kidding.

You're feeling sassy again. Rude.

No, Magga's World unfortunately does not exist yet, but it exists in my.

In my heart.

Perhaps one day.

Maggie's World. Today we be talking about 69, which reminds me of my favorite was certified horn dog. That favorite merch idea, which our team actually got made into a sweatshirt for me, which is a very prized possession now.

It's pretty awesome. And someday you might be able to get one yourself.

I know we had a lot of merch ideas.

I'm speaking to the listeners, by the way, not to you, Vanessa. What else did we have, little runt?

We actually didn't remember that one.

I don't. I still don't.

So we had to. We had to get our. We asked our team to track it down and it was episode 22, when Xander was reading a listener question and what the listener was saying is, we have girls. And they were saying, we have three to seven year old girl. Like, our girls range in age from 3 to 7. And Xander, we have three 7 year old girls.

You could have triplets.

You could. But I Made fun of him. And then he said that one of them. He was like, you could. They could be triplets. Don't make fun of me. Maybe one of them is the Runt.

Oh, yeah. Because they were speaking about. They. They were like, oh, our littlest one.

Yeah.

You know, one of. If you have three girls of the exact same age that Triplets. How do you differentiate between them other than their names, obviously? So there could be, like, oh, the big one, the little one, the one.

The middle one, the one that's just right.

The messy one.

I don't think any clean one. I don't know call their kid the little Runt, but that was a good one. Somebody else mentioned when we read all of the different nicknames for penis and vulva, and Tallywacker was one of their particular favorites. We had the Marin Research Institute, which we are going to set up to conduct all of our really important research. I think you should share the next one because that was. That was all you.

Oh, yeah. Wet Facts. Wet Facts. That was. Wait, which episode was that, though? I remember saying that.

What is the opposite of the wet fact?

Oh, my God.

You came up with it.

Oh, my God.

Opposite of.

I was thinking dry.

Yeah. What's the opposite of fact?

Wet dreams.

No, wait.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God. Dry spell.

Oh, dry spell. I mean, yeah, it was a stretch.

Phantom's trying to come up with the opposite of dry spell.

Somebody. We had a user. We had a listener send in a better suggestion. Now, I'm totally fine. I'm blanking on it. But we actually got a lot of listeners that sent in suggestions because I put out a. Like, wet fact isn't really the exact. Right. Antonym.

Wet reality. That was another one that some people.

Wet reality. Yeah.

Wet Muggle. Because, like, spell and Muggle, like, from Harry Potter.

Oh, yeah.

A bunch of people mentioned, like, this must be so awkward if it's your first time listening or, like, aka what.

We do in 50% of our episodes.

Seriously. Actually, when we were going back to listen to Magger's World and the Little Runt, we definitely said, hope this is not anyone's first time listening podcast.

Well, this time, if it is your first time listening. Now you know how awesome our podcast is because we're just giving you all the greatest hits right here. Yeah. So hopefully this is your first time, because this is as good as it's gonna get.

All of these inside jokes that you are not familiar with. There was also shed of tooth. That was another bit of your glory.

Oh, yeah, The. A Shred. Of tooth. Truth. Wait. Truth of truth. A shred of truth. For some reason, it's like, man, that doesn't get a. That does not sound right.

You. I remember that episode. Like, you tried three or four different times, and you kept messing it up. The shed of tooth instead of a shred of truth. Somebody else said, I listened to the butt stuff episode. Waiting at school pickup. Didn't know it could be heard outside of the car.

Wow.

And finally, another bit of your glory.

Oh, yeah. Hey, you interested in learning a new sex technique? It's called Xander's Pissing Orgasm. Hey, guys, haven't you always wanted to have a pissing orgasm? Well, give me a thousand dollars and I'll teach you.

That's our new course. Sanders Pissing orgasm.

Screw that. $10,000.

Oh, wow, $10,000.

Price just went up.

He's getting full of.

This is an exclusive.

Just pissing her off.

All the celebs are doing it.

Oh, boy. Celebrity endorsements. That was from our squirting episode, the Pissing Orgasm, so. Wow, that's a lot of memories. There were a bunch more, but I didn't want to take up too much of the podcast sharing them. But thank you for sharing your favorite memories with us. It was such a nice trip back down memory lane. Just remembering some of the. Honestly, we don't remember half the stuff that we say, and so seeing that list just made me laugh all over again.

Hey, I have an idea. Instead of trying to trick me with emotions emojis in the. In the reviews of the week, why don't you leave your favorite memory from a podcast of old? Yeah, see. Yeah. See if we remember it. Put me on the spot.

Put me on the spot. Will he remember some weird thing that he said, Some horrible thing that he did to make me laugh?

Spoiler alert. I probably won't, but I'll try.

A lot of people mentioned that they just loved hearing me laugh. Like, hearing you make me laugh. Which was nice to hear for several reasons.

One, because I was about to say Vanessa gets thrown under the bus for this occasionally. There's some mean people on the Internet.

I get pretty made fun of for my laugh. Like, it is a cackle. It is a little loud and unruly. Yeah, there was somebody who said I needed to stop laughing on the podcast.

I mean, you. You would not believe the very small minority of just really rude messages that we get.

So I'm glad that it makes you guys laugh to hear me laugh, and I'm glad that I have a partner who makes me Me laugh so hard.

Me too. I. I love your laugh.

Thanks, babe.

I do.

All right, so let's Talk now about 69 in. In honor of 69. So if you don't know what 69 is, you're not alone. We did a poll of our Instagram audience, and 1% of people didn't know. So it's. Yeah, 1%.

All right. I totally thought that was. I thought you misspoke. I was like, it can't be just 1%.

No, 1%. 1% of people didn't know. So it's when you give each other simultaneous oral sex. So typically, the position that it's done in is, like, one partner lying on their back, the other partner lying on top of them, but they're facing opposite directions. So if you think of the number 69, like, the. The little loops of the six and the nine are the heads. So your heads are in opposite directions. It can also be done on your sides as well. But basically, you each have your head in the other partner's genitals. You're performing oral sex. Sex at the same time. And we will talk more about this later if you're like, I don't think my heads are gonna match up with my partners. But we asked our audience, and 84% of our audience has 69, and 16% hasn't. I'm actually kind of surprised. I thought fewer people would have done it.

Yeah. Yeah, I. I'm surprised. I would be really curious to drill into how frequently that 84% of people do it, but.

Yeah, so 69ing is really polarized, and we kind of mentioned this a bit in the intro. Like, some people really love it and think it's super sexy, and some people absolutely hate it. And we will talk about our perspectives on that in a moment. But first, Xander, I want to know your best guess for where 69 originated from.

Man, I mean, I thought that you stole my thunder earlier on when you talked about the way the six and the nine are the head, and then the. The. You know, the. The number is the body in a weird configuration that bodies don't really do. But I can see in our little notes here that you have an answer that. Don't click on toggle. I'm not clicking. Don't worry. I have no idea. 69. I mean, it's numbers, so it's, like, not necessarily a language thing, I wouldn't think. I don't know.

Who do you think got the first idea to do 69ing?

The Greeks or the Romans?

Why?

I don't know, because they did a lot of sex stuff and weren't. Weren't embarrassed to write about it.

Okay. It actually dates back to 1700s France.

Oh, that was gonna be my next. I was gonna be like. I was gonna be like, oh, it's somewhere in France for sure. But then I was like, no, the Greeks and the Romans, they were freaky.

Yeah, they were. They were very freaky, actually. Okay, so the term. I'm gonna try to pronounce this, but I never took any French, so I'm sure I'm gonna completely brutalize this. Apologies to our French listeners, but the term is soissant. Like croissant.

Okay, I like that. That's a good ring. Soissant.

Soissant neuf. Yeah. So all of our French speaking friends will know that that means 69 soissant neuf.

Okay.

Do you care to. Oh, wait, isn't that Voulez vous couche avec moi? That means you want to go home with me tonight? So say, voulez vous soinson neuf avec moi.

Wow.

Did I do it?

Look at that. I haven't taken a day of French in my life, but sounds good.

If we have any French speakers, let us know on Instagram. How did I do? Or send us a voice memo of how it's supposed to be.

Yeah, why don't you critique her in French, please?

Sounds sexy. And actually, like, writings about this sex position itself can be traced back to the Kama Sutra.

Okay, wait, wait. But. But why 69, though? You told me how to say it in French, but you haven't explained.

No, like, that's the term for 69ing. That's not how you say the number 69.

Oh, okay. But what does that mean in French?

I don't know.

Oh, man. Come on.

I don't know. That's all we got. All right, so let's talk about why people like and don't like 69ing. We asked people on Instagram, tell us what you don't love about 69ing, and here were the responses that we got. Someone said, I don't like that someone's nose is basically in the other partner's ass.

I get distracted and feel like I can't fulfill my partner's needs. I've heard you express this before, Vanessa.

No, it's more than you get distracted and can't fulfill my needs.

Oh, interesting. I think that's kind of the fun part, though, is that it's like, I would never look at 69 at as, like, a to completion act. It's just a. It's like a getting each other riled up thing. And so maybe part of that is I'm doing my job. You're like, oh, I want more. I need more.

Well, we're sort of spoiling our perspectives on 69ing, so let's just share now. I'm not really a fan.

I enjoy it.

Yeah, you enjoy it.

I enjoy it. But like I said, I'm. I would not. But I wouldn't, like, ask for us to do that to completion. That sounds challenging.

Okay, next person said, I feel like I'm suffocating my partner.

Oh, we'll talk about that more later. I think that a lot of people think that it's just like, you're just like, laying on top of your partner with your full weight. And basically there's no weight on you because you can just. The person on top just puts their knees on the bed.

You're on your hands and knees.

Yeah. I don't like giving while trying to enjoy.

Yeah. I think for me, the last two that you just read feel like the main reasons why I don't love it. For me, it feels more exciting to focus on giving or focus on enjoying one at a time. And there is a novelty to doing both at the same time. But I can't fully focus on my own experience and really enjoy it. And you get very distracted and you start like kind of half assing things.

Oh, man, I'm just getting thrown under the bus today, which is.

I mean, I don't blame you. Like, you're enjoying yourself, so it's great. I would rather you get to enjoy yourself and just like fully lay back and get to like, have that experience of soaking it all in. But yeah, you can get a little distracted sometimes.

Maybe I enjoy the view while also being stimulated.

All right. Somebody else said the height difference is too tricky, which is also a big issue for us with a 1 foot height difference. It's very challenging.

Yeah, it is. It is really challenging.

Yeah. So it means like, yeah, Xander's gotta, like, really hunch himself over. I've gotta try to, like, stretch out as much as I can. Like, we've played around with the position, like, tried doing it on our sides and different people on the bottom. And it's just like, oh, man, it's a little challenging.

I mean, Vanessa and I can barely kiss each other while we have sex. I mean, we can, but it's like, it requires a lot of neck craning.

It depends on the position, but yeah, it can Be challenging to do.

Oh, speaking of which, the next one is we can't kiss while we're doing it. Yeah, you absolutely cannot kiss each other's lips while you're doing it. That's what I'll say.

Certain set of lips, but not the mouth ones. And then honorable mention. This one made me laugh so hard. Somebody said, dudes have a hard enough time finding a clitoris. Putting it upside down is, like, too much.

Damn. Burn, burn, burn, burn.

Well, let's talk about.

Guys, do yourself a favor and just figure out where the clitoris is so that women can stop making these jokes about us. Like, you're. You're giving us a bad name.

Yeah. Come over to our Instagram. Vanessa Marin therapy. Look at our orgasm highlight. We have visual visuals of exactly where the clitoris is.

Yeah.

Okay. There are a lot of fans of 69 out there, including you. So here's what people said they love about 69ing. So some people love the intensity of giving pleasure while receiving it. So you're either going to be in one camp or the other. You like doing both at the same time or you prefer to focus on one or the other?

Yeah, it's like a sensory overload thing, which I enjoy in small doses. If we were going to do that for, like, 10 minutes, I like. All right, this is too much. All right, next one is. I like the intimacy of us both pleasuring each other at the same time.

Unique oral opportunities for both partners. Why does this remind me of, like a. It reminds me of, like a timeshare advertisement for some reason. Yeah, I mean, unique.

It sounds like a. It sounds like a. It sounds like a marketing bullet.

Opportunities for both partners.

Yeah, like, I could see that, like, on the packaging for something or like some weird novelty toy.

Certified horn dog. Unique oral opportunities for both partners.

All right. I can easily use my hands along with oral stimulation.

That is a good tip that I think a lot of people.

Well, it depends who is on top. I think maybe if you are using your hands to hold yourself up, probably you're not going to be also using them.

But yeah, you can use your hands during 69ing. It's not like the only way that it counts is if it's oral sex or it's only oral sex. Like, you can use hands, toys, that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

Somebody else said they like doing something instead of just laying there and receiving. So for sure.

Interesting. I know this is probably. This probably means if this is you. I. I hate to call you out, but probably means that you maybe got Some work to do on learning to receive. So maybe you should cool it on the 69 just for a little while.

Cool it on the 69? Yeah.

Cool it on the 69.

Wow. Xander's over here chastising you when you're sex, lunch, life. Cool it on the 69, man.

All right. Well, it's also easier to deep throat.

Apparently, according to one person.

I can't speak from experience here.

I would actually say that this is a much more challenge. Okay, first of all.

Well, when it comes to deep.

When it comes to deep throating, I think deep throating is highly overrated. I think you can create so much more sensation without having to get the penis even that far into your mouth.

I mean, you can. Yeah, you do it with your hand.

You do something you see in porn, and people think it's, like, great. But, like, the back of your throat is not going to be able to give targeted, specific stimulation the way that you could with your tongue or your hands. So. But that being said, like, I mean, everybody is different and every body is different. So maybe for certain people, it's easier to deep throat. But I would say this is one of the hardest.

It's great. It's easier for this person.

Great.

More power to you.

Somebody else said, hearing my partner moan while receiving pleasure.

Oh, yeah, I can understand that. And then, of course, I would maybe say my favorite part. The view.

That is a very polarizing one in and of itself because so many people are worried about, like, oh, my God, the view. Because you're all up in there, like you're seeing everything.

Yeah, it's great.

All right, so let's talk about six of our favorite tips and tricks for 69.

Did we choose six intentionally here?

We did, yeah.

Of course.

You are our favorite 6 to 9 tips.

6.9.

So if you have never done it before and you're curious about trying, or maybe you've done it and you want to enjoy it a little bit more. Here are some of our favorite tips. So we're going to start with one for people who may not have explored it before. And our tip is to let it be awkward at first.

I think this is a huge one.

And this is a piece of advice that applies basically for trying anything new in the bedroom.

But this one in particular, it is an awkward position into. It is awkward. Getting. Getting out of it is awkward. Not only awkward, but I would actually recommend be careful because it's easy to bump each other.

It sure is.

And we may have done that once before and caused a. Did I give you a black eye.

It was pretty close.

Pretty minor black eye.

I think there was some bruising. It wasn't like full on black eye.

But while we were on vacation.

While we were on vacation. Yeah. Yeah. We may have tried some 69ing and it did not go very well.

And I. You made it sound like it was like our first time we tried it. It wasn't. It wasn't our first time. We. We did 69 the last time. No, it wasn't. Actually. I don't.

Can't remember, but I do remember. Honestly.

Honestly, it's. This is not something we do particularly frequently anymore after that incident.

The incident? Yeah. No, I think you got. Did you hit me with your foot or with your hand?

I cannot remember.

Your elbow? I think it was your elbow.

I think it was my elbow. I don't even know how that's possible now, but it was. I feel horrible.

It's okay. Sex accidents happen.

They do.

So. Yeah. I mean, anytime you're trying anything new, it's gonna be awkward. If you've heard us talk about our first pancake rule before, we just have a rule that, like, first time you try anything, it does not count. But. Yeah. Just know that it's. It might feel strange. It definitely, like, no matter how skilled you get at it, it feels kind of funny. Like one person clambering up onto the other one and like, wait, am I in the right position? Back up, like, scoot down. You know, all this kind of stuff. So it's just sort of a funny position to get into. But that is okay. It's fine. It's okay to be awkward around sex. Okay, let's talk about if you have a big height difference between the two of you.

Yes.

Typically our recommendation is to have the taller partner on the bottom because they can put pillows or blankets or even like a sex wedge pillow under their hips to make their genitals a little bit more accessible for the shorter partner. That being said, so I would change also.

Also that way the taller partner, their genitals are going to be stationary the whole time. They're not going to be moving around like, as you're trying to get.

You're out of range. That being said, though, like, everybody and like, combinations of bodies are different, so you may actually find it easier to have the taller partner on top. But in general, I think taller partner on the bottom tends to be what works best for most people. You can also try on your sides. That allows the taller partner to kind of like, curl up a little bit more.

Fetal position.

Yeah, a little bit. Fetal.

69, enter the fetal position.

And then we're making this sound so sexy. Can't wait for people to try it. So you can definitely try that. That can make it a little bit. And then another variation that not a lot of people try is you can have one partner lying on the bed with their head hanging off of the bed, and then the other partner is standing, and they bend over the partner on the bed. So if you can imagine that it's like one standing partner, one lying partner, but that can, like, kind of make the height differences easier to work out.

I think you definitely need to have the appropriate height of bed. This is not going to work for everyone. Don't force this one, people. Yeah, like, no bed also kind of sounds like maybe a recipe for a head rush.

Yes. It could be a little bit dangerous.

So this is on the bottom.

Just try it for a few minutes and be slow and careful.

Yeah. Get up very slowly.

All right. Our next tip is one that we alluded to a little bit already, which is to use your hands. A lot of people don't think to do this in 69. And because we're so focused on the oral. So typically this is easier for the person on the bottom because the person on top. You're needing to use your hands to hold yourself or, like, your elbow or your elbows. But you can, like, b on one elbow and, like, use your hand, you know, if you can.

Yeah. If you have a firmer mattress. Don't do this on a waterbed.

We just got a DM from somebody the other day who had, like, a sex accident because they were having sex on a waterbed.

And I'm like, just don't do it.

Do people still have water beds?

Unfortunately, someone does.

At least I thought they were a thing of the 80s.

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, you are not allowed to rent a house anymore with a water bed bed. I know, like, every single rental contract you. I think the only way these days you could have a. Like, legally have a water bed is you have to own your own home, because it's way too big of a risk for anyone else.

I'm a baller homeowner with my water bed.

Yeah. Do you rent a. Do you rent a house or an apartment? And do you have a contract that allows water beds? I'm really curious. I. I would guarantee with, like, 99.9% certainty that if you scan through your rental agreement, there is a clause that says waterbeds not allowed.

Why is that reminding me of the like unique oral opportunities for both partners on your waterbed. Yeah, way to sell that with a waterbed. Okay, so if you want to use your hands, you could be, like, fingering your partner while giving oral. So if your partner has a vulva, maybe you're focusing your mouth on the clitoris, but you're using your hands, like, on the labia or inside of them. You could be playing with balls if you want to. You could be reaching behind and, like, grabbing the butt cheeks. Maybe doing a little anal play. If you want to listen to our Butt Stuff episodes for some more tips about that, it can be really fun to just, like, add a little bit of extra stimulation with your hands. Okay, next tip. I just realized I kind of spoiled it in the last one. But to add a little bit of anal play to your 69ing action. So you can use your fingers, you can use a toy if you want to. Again, we have all the information in our Butt Stuff and Butt Stuff, the sequel episodes, but you can do a little anal play. You can also do a little bit of rimming as well. So that can just be some additional stimulation. Next tip is.

But if you're gonna do some rimming, do not. Do not alternate between.

Oh, yes, yes, absolutely. If you're gonna do any sort of rimming action, you don't wanna go from butt back to vulva. You can cause infection and irritation. So we don't wanna do that.

You can go the other way around.

But you can go, like just a, you know.

Yeah.

All right. Tip number five is to use toys. So this can work especially well for people who are having a hard time. Like, getting their heads in the right places is you could kind of give up on the aura a little bit. Maybe just use your mouth to, like, kiss around your partner's body. But you can use, like, a little finger or a bullet vibe. You can use butt plugs if you want to. You can use, like, larger toys, too. It's really going to depend on the specific position that you're in about. Like, if you. You can hold it while you're also trying to, like, hold yourself up, but start small. Yeah. Some toys can be really fun to play around with. And our final tip is to communicate. So let your partner know what feels good, what you like. We always talk about the importance of communication. It might be a little bit hard to talk during 69ing since your mouths are otherwise occupied, but moaning is always a great way to let your partner know you're enjoying yourself.

Or.

Or you can come up with some sort of signal. Maybe like a certain way that you like pat each other.

Some, some Morse code.

Some morse code on the skin of like. Oh, yeah, right.

Just, just do Morse code for 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9.

So it's like making me think of like a robot who's doing it.

Just six, nine, six, nine, six, nine.

That's what we are doing. Six, nine. So yeah, or just take a little break. Move your mouth off of your partner's genitals and let them know how good you're feeling and if you want anything different. Or if they're maybe getting a little distracted and they're forgetting to stimulate you.

Yeah. Or also communicate in advance is also a good idea. I think, like we were alluding to the fact that I know, at least for me, 69 would not be my preferred position for bringing us both to orgasm because it can be a bit distracting. And I think a lot of people don't talk about sex very much. And maybe the most they talk about is, oh, let's try this, this, this new thing. They don't go any further about what are the expectations? How long are we going to try it for? Is this going to be all the way to completion? Is this just going to be for like a minute or two before we move on to something else? And so I think that a lot of people have bad experiences with stuff like this because they get into something and it's like, huh, this isn't exactly what I was envisioning. But I don't know how to stop. I don't know when to stop. Is my partner liking it? So, like, chat in advance. Be like, okay, okay, we're gonna like, let 69, let's talk about how we're gonna do it. Let's talk about what our expectations are. How long are we gonna do this for? What's gonna happen next?

That is such a great point. I'm glad you brought that up. So, bonus tip here.

Oh. So this is so we could say we have 6.9 tips.

We do.

This is a 0.9 tip. Since it's a bonus, you know, it's not as full as the other six tips.

Our bonus tip is to check out our foreplay guides for some mind blowing oral sex moves. So we have foreplay guides that are super detailed, tastefully illustrated. We'll walk you through exactly what to do to blow your partner's mind with.

Your mouth or with your hand.

Or with your hand. Yeah. Our foreplay guides cover touching a vulva, oral sex on a vulva, a hand job, and A blow job. So all four of those activities all in one. So we'll put a link to check those out in the show notes. Now, we wanted to just share a couple of funny 69 stories from our audience. We asked people, like, has anything funny happened to you while 69 ing? And there were some. Some pretty good stories. The first one was, as a kid, I made all of my Barbies 69 because they fit better that way than missionary.

I like how the default of this person is like, oh, my Barbies all need to be having sex.

They just fit better that way.

Like, do they. Do you just, like, leave them, like, in the. In the Barbie playhouse like that? Like, they fucking?

I for sure did. I for sure put my, like, dolls into sex positions.

You dirty girl.

I don't know why I feel like every kid does that. You don't even know what you're doing, but you're just like, yeah, that's what they do.

My sister, like, cut all the hair off of her Barbies.

Read the next one.

All right. First trimester of pregnancy, gagged on my husband's dick while on top and peed in his mouth.

She got close to a pissing orgasm, I think.

Yeah, she did everything but the orgasm.

Next one was. Didn't warn me he was coming, so I choked on his come, and it came shooting out of my nose.

Ow. That.

That sounds like it would really burn.

Yeah, I do. I mean, I was gonna say, I wonder if it burns when it goes through your nasal passages, because I know if it gets in your eyes, it burns.

Yeah. Out your nose.

I mean, pretty much anything that comes in your mouth and ends up going out your nose. Honestly, this happens to me a little too frequently when I eat. If I, like, choke on something. Oh, man. Like, God, it hurts when it comes out your nose. No fun. No fun. All right. This person is kind of like what I did to Vanessa. Got meat in the face while getting into position. So go slow.

Go slow. It's a. It's a high likelihood of danger, so be careful.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Be careful out there, everyone. And this one made us laugh. Somebody wrote, we now do 96 instead of 69 because of inflation. New dad here. I'll see myself out. So thank you, new dad, for your cheesy dad humor. You are fun fitting into your new role so well. Already we need art to do our sad trombo.

And if you're listening to this a couple years from now, hopefully you have no idea what we're talking about.

All Right. Well, that is it for us in our breakdown. Oh, that was another one. Remember your breakdown?

I wonder if we can get Art to bring back that audio. I don't even remember what episode it was. Was. But to just drop that in there. I mean, I did a pretty good rendition of it. I did a pretty good rendition of it. Oh, it was Communication Breakdowns.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. You know what? Nobody mentioned any of the singing. We started so many episodes with me singing, me trying.

Me trying to sing pop songs that I never really knew all the words of anyway. Uh huh.

Yeah, we did it. That Creed song too. Didn't we do a Creed song with eyes wide open? Wow, that.

That was so. But that. I don't think that was. That wasn't the Creed song though. It was a different one, right?

No, it was that one.

It was that one.

But wow, your key. Key was so off on that one.

Yeah.

Try it again with eyes wide open.

What is it? Arms. With arms.

Eyes wide open. Well, the theme song.

I would recommend that you keep your eyes wide open when you're 69ing, cuz there's a view and, and you should enjoy it. And on that note, Vanessa's going to tell you all the other great things that we talked about in this episode.

Trying to move on quickly. Wait, no. One thing that we didn't address though, that I think comes up a lot with male and female content couples is the woman is so self conscious of, I don't want him to see my butthole. Is that going to be weird or like, look bad? The angle is bad. So what do you say to that?

This is a tough one because I, I understand the insecurity, I understand the concern, but we see each other's buttholes when we're having sex sometimes. And I mean, I, I feel like I've, I, I don't want to freak people out, but it's like if your number one concern is he cannot see my butthole, then like, you gotta take some other positions off the table too that maybe you're not like, I hate to scare people, but it's like, well then what are you doing having doggy style? Like it's right there. And I hate to bring that up because I know we've talked about this on Instagram and then we got a deluge of DMs of women being like, oh my God, I didn't realize you could see it during doggy style. I'm never doing it again. Again.

Well, can, what reassurance can you give? Like when you can see my butthole, are you like, oh, God, there's that butthole again.

I mean, it's not like it's full of poop. It's just a butthole.

Jesus. That's gonna make me self conscious. Full of poop. Wow.

I mean, well, I think that's what people assume when they're like, oh, my.

God, no, nobody's worried about, like, they have a piece of poop, like, coming out of their butt in the middle of sex. This has taken a turn. I thought you were going to reassure me. And now I'm self conscious.

Well, I think it's hot. I enjoy seeing your butthole. I do.

Why?

It's hot.

It's a good looking butthole.

It is.

It's my butthole. The best.

It winks at me sometimes. That's how I know I'm doing a good job.

Is it the best looking butthole you've ever seen?

Of course.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

And on that note, now that I know Xander loves looking at my butthole and there's no poo coming out of it, let's talk about some of the great resources that we mentioned in this episode. So we talked about our foreplay guides, our butt stuff, and butt stuff, the sequel episodes. We will link to to all three of those things in our show notes.

All right, well, that's it for today's very special and very tangential episode of Pillow Talks. Thank you so much for listening.

Thank you for being around for a whole year.

Yeah. Thank you for listening to all of our episodes. And if you haven't listened to all of our episodes, you should just go back to the beginning and have at it. There's a lot of good laughs and valuable information, too, by the way. But yeah. Join us again next week when we talk about what do men really think about this? Insert the blank.

This is a special episode that I had the idea for the other day, and I'm really excited about it because we get a lot of DMS from people on Instagram, usually from women saying, like, okay, but what do men really think about this? Like, what do men really think about the butthole?

Yeah, I was going to say my butthole. We just gave you a preview of it. I'm going to be like, well, there's no poop. So should I just start my answer to every single question with that?

There's no poop, so it's fine. So, yes, we are gonna. We're gonna have a whole bunch of questions that people are curious to know, like, what do men really think about this. And Zan. For all men.

Yeah, for all men. It's. It's so easy. We're all exactly the same. We think the exact same way.

But I do think you're downplaying yourself. Yes, you can't answer for all men, but you have some valuable insight to offer.

I do?

People are gonna want to hear, so make sure to check that out next week.

Can't wait. See you next time, Sam.