How Do I Say This: Equality At Home

Welcome back to How Do I say this? A series where I, a couples therapist, give you specific scripts for your most common communication challenges. Here's what we've got how to open the conversation about equality at home, mental load, baby care, housework in a way that minimizes blame and defensiveness. It sounds like you're already worried that your partner might get defensive when you bring up this conversation, so I suggest getting them enrolled in the idea by sharing the benefits of doing this. So so research has shown that couples who share the mental load and responsibilities in a way that feels equitable to their unique relationship have more emotional and physical intimacy. So I'd start there, approach your partner and say something like, I know that life is so busy, we both have so much on our plates and it's really easy for quality time between the two of us to go to the bottom of the to do list. But I love you. Our relationship, our intimacy is so, so important to me, and I want to make sure that we're doing whatever we can to protect it. So I thought it would be really beneficial for both of us to sit down together and make a game plan for tackling all of the responsibilities that we have in our life. Make sure we're doing them in the most productive and efficient way possible so that we have that time, energy and space for you and me. What do you think? Let me know down in the comments what your communication challenge is, and make sure to follow the series so you can get more scripts.