How Do I Say This: "He Is On His Phone Constantly"

Welcome back to.

How Do I say this?

A series where.

I, a couples therapist, give you scripts.

For your most common.

And frustrating communication challenges.

This is one of the most common.

Frustrations I hear about from.

Couples, and most of us do try to talk about this with our partner. But we make.

One of two mistakes.

The first is.

That we phrase it as a criticism or a complaint, like you're always on your phone. That is only going to serve to.

Make your partner defensive.

And it's definitely not going to change your behavior.

Or, or you might phrase it as a request. But you say something.

Very general like.

I want us to spend.

Less time on our phones.

It's just not specific enough to make sustained change.

Like, what does.

That mean to spend.

Less time on your phones? We've got to get more specific with it.

So here's what I recommend. Instead, make specific requests.

For phone free time in the moment. So ask your partner something like, hey.

Can we have dinner without our phones tonight? Or if you see your partner on your phone, you can say to them, hey, can you let me know when.

You'Re done talk to you about something? But without our phones? I know it's more frustrating to have to do it this way, and I.

Know it would be a whole lot easier to make.

One blanket request that your partner just.

Listened to.

For the rest of time. But that is just not realistic. We've got to make those requests in the moment.

Let me know in the comments below what is something that.

You are struggling to talk to your partner about and make sure to follow the series to see if I answer your question.