How Do I Say This Series: Different Love Languages

Welcome to How Do I say this? A series where I, a couples therapist, give you specific scripts for your most common communication challenges. Here's what we got how to get him to love through my love language. Mine is physical touch, words of affirmation. His is quality time and acts of service. It's hard to get him to understand that I feel the most loved when he shows me in my love languages. I always feel bad bringing it up because he feels inadequate or that he isn't enough. So it sounds like you guys have already talked about the love languages and he's also gotten a little bit defensive about it already. So what I would do is come in and say something like this. I know we've talked about love languages before and I'm realizing that I left a few things out. First, I want to know what is it like for you to love me in your love language? This helps him feel appreciated, seen, understood, and it helps him recognize that, like, you love being loved by him in whatever ways he wants to love you. Next, I would say I also forgot to tell you more specifically specifics about my love language. You have to tell your partner the specific things that you like them to do if he does get defensive about it. Again, I would say this is the whole point of the love languages. It's not that you're inadequate or not doing a good job. This literally is not your language. Loving me in this way is not going to come naturally to you. Let him know how much you appreciate him loving you in his love language and also continuing to redirect him to the things that are going to be most meaningful to you. Let me know down in the comments what your communication challenge is and make sure to follow the series for more scripts, steps.