How Do I Say This: "We're In A Sex Slump"

Welcome back to How Do I say this? A series where I, a couple's therapist, give you specific scripts to solve your communication challenges. First of all, just about every couple in a long term relationship is going to experience a slump. So just know that this is normal and common. It's very easy for people to get defensive with this kind of conversation. So there are two components that I recommend. The first is to talk about what's been getting in the way of you and your partner being intimate. The there's probably a pretty good reason. You guys have been really busy. You've had a lot of stuff on your plate. The kids, work, whatever it is. I like bringing up those things because it just instantly takes away your partner's defensiveness. It makes them feel like you're not attacking them or blaming them. The second component is to talk about your emotional connection more than the physical connection. And again, this is because it's so easy for people to get defensive when you talk about sex. You don't want this to turn into a logistical argument of when the last time was that you actually had sex. So I would say something like this, hey babe, I know we have had so much on our plate lately. It hasn't felt like there's any time for you and me, but I am really missing you. I'm missing feeling close to you and connected to you. And I would love to talk about what we can do together as a team to create more space for you and me. What's something that you are struggling to talk to your partner about? Let me know down in the comments and make sure to follow along to see if I pick your example next.