How Do I Say This: "You Don't Bring Me Flowers"

Welcome back to how do I say this? A series where I, a couples therapist, give you specific scripts for your most common communication challenges. Here's today's request. You don't bring me flowers. Not once ever. Very silly, but it would be nice now and then. Or even a card on my birthday. If you want flowers and a card, you've got to ask for flowers and a card. I know most of us have this idea in our heads that our partners are supposed to be mind readers. They're supposed to just do the things that make us feel loved and appreciated. But that's just not realistic. We have to to ask. So let me tell you what not to do. Don't say you never bring me flowers. You never buy me cards. That's just going to make your partner feel like they've already lost. What's the point in even trying? Instead, make a positive request. You know what would make me feel so loved and appreciated? You know what would make me feel so happy and so in love with you? If you got me flowers. If you wrote me a card. You're making your partner feel like they have the cheat code to making you happy. They can do something simple to win to make you feel good. And then once your partner does do that, make sure to give them a ton of positive reinforcement. Give them a lot of praise. I feel so good receiving this from you. Thank you so much. You're such a kind and loving partner. When they get that kind of praise, it's just going to make them want to repeat that behavior more in the future. Let me know down in the comments what your communication challenges are and make sure to follow the series for more scripts.