Vanessa and Xander Marin explain how to have satisfying quickies. The key is knowing each partner's fastest path to orgasm, which means exploring your own body first through masturbation. Quickies don't have to be intercourse—mutual masturbation, hands, or toys work just as well.
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Let's talk about quickies. So despite it being called a quickie, there's actually a lot of preparation that needs to be done in order to have a successful one. So in this video, we are going to talk about how to prepare for and how to execute a quickie that both people enjoy. Because to be honest, a lot of people tell us, like, I've heard about quickies, but I've just never been able to have one that felt enjoyable.
Yeah, I don't understand how you're supposed to do it so that I'm actually satisfied.
Yeah. So actually, let us know down in the comments below. Leave us a wink emoji if you are curious to know more about how to have a successful quickie.
But if you're brand new here, we first want to say hi before we get into the good stuff. This is Vanessa. I'm Xander Marin. We have been together for 14 years. Vanessa is also a sex therapist. And these cute little faces to the side of us are our pups, Winston and Maggie. You can only see one.
And our account is here to give you the tools, tips and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out. So if you're interested in that, go ahead and hit that subscribe button.
All right, so quick disclaimer before we get into it, in this video, we're going to be generally speaking in heteronormative terms because usually it is in male and female, female pairings where one partner, and let's be honest here, usually the woman struggles to orgasm during a quickie. And maybe asking that question of like, how am I actually supposed to have a quickie? That actually works for me. Okay, so what is a quickie? It is a fast and furious sexual experience. Not like the movie Fast and Furious, but just getting it done quickly. You're getting right down to the point. There's probably very little foreplay, no bells and whistles. It's like just trying to have an orgasm, each of you, as quickly as possible.
Okay? So in order to have a successful quickie, you need to know the quickest way to orgasm for both you and your partner. So we have a rule around here. We like to say that everyone who wants an orgasm gets an orgasm every single time you have sex. So in general, quickies do work best if you each take responsibility for your own orgasm. You figure out, what is it that I need to have the quickest path to orgasm? How can I take control of my orgasm in the moment? And so one of the big problems that comes up is that a lot of women don't know what that is for themselves. So that's why we mostly hear from women who are like, how is this supposed to be enjoyable? So we have a lot of women in our audience who struggle to get to any kind of orgasm, maybe have never had an orgasm, let alone, like, a quick few fast one. So if you are really intent on having quickies, in order to get there, you need to become familiar with your own orgasm. Figure out exactly what it is that helps you reach orgasm. Practice through masturbation. Masturbation is really the key to exploring, understanding, and even shortening down the time for your orgasm. So that's the surprising trick behind quickies, is that you have to do a hell of a lot of masturbation first.
All right, so if you're still struggling with quickies or the concept of it, here's a big misconception that a lot of people have is that a quickie must be intercourse. But here's the thing. Intercourse is not the most pleasurable activity for the vast, vast, vast majority of women. It's the equivalent of trying to bring a man to orgasm by just playing with his balls. Like, we wouldn't expect a man to have an orgasm this way. Like, he'll probably enjoy it for. For a minute, but yeah, he's not gonna come, right? So, like, why would we expect a woman to have an orgasm without any clitoral stimulation, which is the area of her body that is going to give her the most amount of pleasure?
Okay, so here's the thing. A quickie does not have to be intercourse. So a quickie could be the two of you masturbating side by side. Maybe it's using your hands on each other, a toy on each other. It could be one partner giving the gift of a fast orgasm to the other partner. So maybe it's like, today you get the quickie, tomorrow I get the quickie, you can trade off like that quick O. So if you are a woman who has never had an orgasm, we are gonna pop a free guide in the description box for you down below called why you're not orgasming from sex. This is gonna give you some really crucial information. You need to understand orgasming during intercourse, like Xander was mentioning. So that wraps up our video on how to have a quickie.
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