Vanessa and Xander Marin walk through how to ask your partner to sit on your face. They cover how to bring it up (ask clearly, pick a separate time, make it personal), safety concerns like weight distribution and hand signals, and point to their other guides for technique details.
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We can't start a video. We recently released what very quickly turned into one of our most popular videos ever.
Oh, yeah.
Which is all about face sitting. Who knew you guys loved it? So we got a lot of questions. After that video. We heard from a lot of women and vulva owners saying, like, really? Is this really a thing? My partner really wants me to do it. And we also heard from a lot of the partners of women saying, like, I really want, want my partner to do this. But she still doesn't get it. She still thinks it's a joke or she's worried she's gonna hurt me. So we thought we had to make a follow up video. Of course, we wanted to focus this video specifically on what to do if you really want your partner to sit on your face. And your partner is still just like, not sure what this whole thing is, if this is a joke or not. So before we get into it, we just want to hear from you. Do you, do you want your partner to sit on your face?
Yeah.
Let us know down below.
All right, first of all, though, if you're brand new to our channel, we just want to say, hi, we're Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist. We've been together for 14 years. And these cute little faces behind us, to the side of us, on top of us, perhaps, these are our pugs, Maggie and Winston, the real stars of the show.
Our account is all about giving you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship. So if you already know you're interested in that, then just go ahead and hit that subscribe button.
All right, so let's get into the face sitting. Right, so if you need a primer on what face sitting actually is, you should check out that video that Vanessa was mentioning. You can find that right here or the link will be in the description as well. First of all, we want to say is it is totally normal and healthy to want to try face sitting. There is nothing wrong with. It is a perfectly normal sexual act. However, we want to recognize sometimes it can feel daunting to talk, talk about your desires and your fantasies. It can feel really vulnerable. And maybe you're worried what your partner is going to say or how they're going to react. Or maybe they said something in the past that was, you know, felt like, oh, they, they are not into this. But we just want to say you can do it. It's important. It's important to be able to talk about your. Your desires and your fantasies. And this is a Great opportunity to, you know, lead into that.
All right, so now let's talk about, like, how do you actually talk to your partner about the fact that you want to try this? So our first tip here is to clearly ask for what you want. So don't make a joke out of it, because it's very likely that your vulva owner thinks that this is a joke and is, like, really people like this. I don't know about that.
Oh, yeah, we heard from one couple, for example, where, you know, the guy in the partnership had been making a joke about face eating almost every day. Like, oh, why don't you just come over here and sit on my face?
And.
And she was like, I didn't realize for the last 10 years he was actually serious. It was just in a joking way. And eventually I just tuned it out because he said it all the time.
Yeah. So if your partner. You already know, your partner's on the shy side, and you're worried that, you know, you're not quite sure how they're going to react, then we would recommend not making the request in the moment. During sex, you're just likely to catch them off guard. So this is something that would be better to talk about at a separate moment. Definitely let your partner know how sexy you think they are and that you've always wanted to do this because it feels like something really sexy that you could get to experience with your partner. So just making it feel really personal, like you want to do this with them, that's gonna get them excited about it. You can also talk to your partner about how to get into position. So sometimes, like we were mentioning, a lot of women in particular think that face sitting is, like, a joke. They think that they're gonna crush you or suffocate you, that kind of thing.
We'll talk about that in a minute.
So, you know, she may not fully understand, like, how does this work? And what, you know, what is it that you're really wanting me to do? So, again, that video that Xander mentioned, our primer on face sitting, that will really walk you through, like, the logistics and the step by step. So watch that video together. That can get the conversation going and give you lots of practical tips for how to actually do it.
All right, so what happens if she says that she's worried about smothering you or crushing you? Here's what you can do. So first of all, tell her that you can use your hands to guide her hips. So that's one thing. It's not like, you're totally out of control.
No, you'll, like, regulate. Exactly.
Yeah, you'll regulate where she is. And then you can also set up a signal that you can use if you need a break and somehow you're unable to use your words. The reality is, you will be able to use your words, but you could set up some kind of tapping thing or something like that just in case. However, I just want to make it really clear. The reality is the way that you get into this position, the majority of her weight is going to be, like, on her knees and her legs. It is not going to be on your face. But, you know, you may need to do a little convincing of just trying out this position until she really trusts that that's how it will actually be.
We have, though, heard from a lot of men and women who are like, if I go out having my face sat upon, then I will go out doing something that I love.
And what's wrong with that? Nothing.
All right, let's quickly talk about, like, what do you do then while your partner is sitting on your face? So we just wanted to mention that we have our ultimate foreplay guides that really walk you through, step by step, exactly how to finger a vulva, go down on a vulva. So if you want more techniques for exactly what to do while you're down there, it's like, okay, we got the sitting part. Now what? We will put a link to those guides in the description box down below. They're really, really awesome and just going to give you so many next level expert tips.
All right, so when your partner does sit on your face, congratulations. Yeah, congratulations to you. But some things to follow up with. Definitely let your partner know how much you enjoyed it. Because if your partner's already a little hesitant to do it, it can feel really good to give some compliments and just really, you know, drive home the fact that you loved it and then try to give some specific compliments about what you really liked about it. That's going to boost their confidence for future face sitting sessions, which hopefully will be a bonus for you.
All right, so that wraps up our video all about face sitting. So again, in the description box below, we will have a link to our face sitting primer video and also to those ultimate foreplay guides and also some links to some of our other most popular videos.
And if you like this video, you can give it a like. You can also hit that red button down below to subscribe to our channel. And while you're at it, click the notification icon so you keep getting notified as soon as we post more videos.
