How To Have Sex On Your Period - The Truth About Period Sex

Maybe I'd start a video.

Man, Man. Periods.

Oh, they can be so annoying to deal with. Remembering when to expect them, inevitably forgetting every single month. And staining your underwear or your sheets. Making sure you have enough tape. Tampons. Paying for all of those tampons.

God.

Accidentally leaving a tampon inside of you for way too long and then panicking about toxic shock syndrome. Oh, no fun dealing with cramps and headaches. I'm still going. Wanting to eat everything in sight.

That sounds kind of good.

Getting so moody that you sob during a Taco Bell commercial or you want to kill your partner for breathing too loudly.

Okay, that's not good.

And on top of all of that that we have to deal with, there's also a whole lot of stigma against period sex. One of the few things that we actually could enjoy during this time of the month. So periods are completely normal and natural. They're just a part of life. But why are we still so embarrassed to talk about them? Good question. Why do we still think that period sex is icky or weird? Well, we want to change all of that. So we are talking all about period sex today.

Oh, yeah.

I wore my nice matching shirt, too. So we're going to talk about why you should do it, how you should do it, and why you should just be having a whole lot more of it.

Sounds good to me. So, hi, if you're new here, we are Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist, and we've been together for 13 years.

And we are here to give you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out. So if you are down for that, go ahead and smash that subscribe button right now.

Hell, yeah. All right, so let's talk about period sex. First things first, you can absolutely have sex while you're on your period. We felt like we just had to say this and get it out of the way because so many people just automatically assume that sex is off the table when a woman is on her period. But that is definitely not the case. There is no little period fairy that waves her magic wand and prevents you from having a sex life for the five to seven days out of the month while she's on her period.

Now that, in case you were wondering, in case you were wondering, there is no period fairy. So, that being said, we do understand that a lot of people avoid period sex because of internalized shame and embarrassment. There are so many stupid references on TV shows and in the movies that would make any person feel Embarrassed about their own body. But we kind of want to give periods just a full rebranding.

Fresh start.

A fresh start. Because the truth is that there is no nothing gross about menstruation.

And just think, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for menstruation. Plus, there are already so many other bodily fluids that make an appearance during normal sex. We think that you can handle adding one more to the mix.

And the reality is that period sex isn't nearly as messy as most of us think it is.

Oh, yeah.

So the average person during the entire period loses only like six to eight teaspoons on average again, during that entire time.

Not a lot.

So, yeah, it's not that much. And there's really not that much that's gonna be coming out when you have sex for, like, 10 to 20 minutes.

Yeah. So, like most guys, I always assumed that you just didn't have sex with a woman when she was on her period. And it really didn't help that my first few partners kind of just said, I'm on my period, left it at that. And that was as far as the conversation went. But once Vanessa and I started dating, she told me it wasn't a big deal, and I wasn't about to argue with her. And lo, behold, it was totally indistinguishable from non period sex. And all it really requires, if anything, is a slightly more vigilant kleenex wipe at the end. And that's all. So to any of the straight guys out there who might think this is gross, here's a little tough love.

Oh, get ready.

If you're grossed out about your partner's vagina going through a totally normal and healthy, beautiful process during part of the month, then maybe you shouldn't be sticking it in her any other times of the month either.

Ooh, shots.

Fire. I don't know. Just a thought.

So before we get any further, we want to know how you felt about period sex before watching this video. So we're gonna try to convince you that we want to know, like, when you came into watching this video, how did you feel about period sex? Were you a yes, a no? So let us know in the comments down below. So we are gonna start off with some of the benefits of having sex while on your period.

All right, let's get period sex. Benefit number one is increased sex drive. So a lot of women actually experience increased libidos while they're on their periods. They might crave sex more. They might feel sexier in their body, even Initiate more frequently.

All right, period sex benefit number two, natural lubrication.

Who doesn't want that?

So your body is shedding uterine lining and menstrual fluid. So you essentially have this level of natural lubrication before your body even starts the arousal process.

Yeah, I think a lot of people, a lot of men probably assume it's just like all blood. And you just mentioned all these other things that it is. It is not all blood.

Yeah, exactly. And this extra lubrication makes for a much more comfortable, enjoyable experience for both parties. We're actually talking about lubrication all the time with people because we have this pressure that we put on ourselves to be like perfectly lubricated. We talk a lot about using lube, how that's not a big deal, but when you're on your period, you very often don't need anything extra.

Oh, yeah. So period sex benefit number three is relief from period symptoms. Because of all the natural hormones and chemicals that get released during sex, having sex while you're on your period can help to relieve those cramps and those headaches. And that's a win win if you ask us.

Yeah, there are definitely times where I'm like, I don't know, I'm like crampy. I don't know, it doesn't really sound good. I'm not into it, but if I let myself go ahead with it, I feel so much better in the middle and afterwards that sometimes I have to remind myself of that beforehand. Alright, period sex benefit number four, you don't have to rule out sex for an entire week of every month. So if you refuse to have period sex, you are taking sex off of the table for an entire week. Could be a little bit longer, a little bit less than that, but that's a lot of time every single month. I mean, that's like roughly 25% less than sex than you could be having. And most people want to be having more sex, so, you know. But accepting period sex as a totally normal thing, it means that sex can be on the menu every day of the month.

Hell yeah.

So now that we have hopefully convinced you of the benefits of period sex, let's get into some super practical tips for how to make period sex more enjoyable.

Yeah, we got you. So practical tip number one is communicate. If you want to try period sex but you're feeling nervous, talk to your partner about it. Oftentimes, just talking about our fears out loud makes them feel so much more manageable. Let your partner know that you're nervous about making a mess or worried that they're going to judge you. Yeah.

They'll probably be able to give you some sort of reassurance that, like, it's just not that big of a deal to them.

Yeah. And if you struggle to bring up sex with your partner, please know that you are not alone. It can be really tough to talk about this stuff, especially if you never have before. So we actually created a guide for people just like you called how to talk about sex with your partner, even if you never have before. It's full of sample prompts and tips for starting a dialogue. We're going to include a link to that guide in the description box down below.

Practical tip number two, Prep your body. So if you use tampons, make sure that you take your tampon out beforehand. This might sound like a no brainer, but I will admit I have been guilty myself of forgetting this.

Forgetful over here. Sometimes.

I shared this story on Instagram, I think, a couple months ago, and I was very happy that I got a lot of messages from other women saying, girl, I did it too.

You felt very seen.

I felt very seen. I'm not the only one who forgot. This can be a really painful and uncomfortable experience if you leave it in. It can get really jammed up in there if you have intercourse.

Not fun.

We did get a lot of stories of women who needed to to go to the ER or see a doctor to retrieve theirs. In my case, this guy had to pull it out. It was not fun, so definitely make sure.

I was worried that maybe we're gonna need to go to the urgent care.

Fortunately, you got some long fingers.

Yeah. All right. Practical tip number three. Like these long fingers, look into menstrual discs. So menstrual discs are an alternative to tampons, and the great thing about them is that you can actually keep them in while you're having sex.

Yes. Practical tip number four, use contraception. So repeat after me. You can get pregnant while on your period.

You can get pregnant while on your period.

You also can get STIs. So you want to make sure that you use your typical method of contraception while having period sex.

All right. Practical tip number five is prep your space. So a lot of people get stressed out about making a mess during period sex. And if you're like us, you treasure your high quality linen. So it's a good idea to lay out a dark towel or maybe a sheet. Again, you're not likely to make an enormous mess like we've talked about before. But just knowing that the sheets are protected can help you both relax. Or you can invest in a sex blanket. Yeah, they actually make such things. They are water resistant blankets that are designed to protect your bedding from any unwanted fluids. So very convenient. Or you can just keep tissues or a wet washcloth nearby for easy cleanup. That's probably always a good idea.

Yeah. Practical tip number six, change your location. So another option for totally mess free period sex is to have sex in the shower. The water from the shower head will just wash away menstrual fluid quickly and easily. You probably won't even notice. But do keep in mind that you are probably going to have to have some extra lubrication on hand because water also tends to wash away natural lubrication.

Oh, that's a good one. All right. Practical tip number seven is switch things up. So if you normally have intercourse, you can also switch up your usual routine and play with a clitoral vibrator together instead. You can keep a tampon in or a menstrual cup in without having to worry about leaks or messes. But you can still be intimate together.

Practical tip number eight, try different positions. So another tip is to have sex on your back or some sort of position where your legs can be up in the air. Let gravity help you out and do the work of keeping those menstrual fluids inside of you.

Okay. Practical tip number nine, adjust the lighting. So if you're feeling self conscious still about your partner seeing menstrual fluid while you're being intimate, you can always turn the lights down or off or low light candles for some nice mood lighting. We love this tip on a normal day as well because it really just sets the mood for intimacy. Yeah.

Super easy one. So those are our top tips for making period sex a whole lot easier. And we hope that we have convinced you that this little tiny teeny bit of extra effort is well worth it.

So if you like this video, can you please hit the thumbs up button and that red button to subscribe to our channel and then click that notification icon as well so that you keep getting notified as soon as we drop new ones.

Thanks so much for watching.

See you next time. So if you're feeling unconscious, not unconscious. If you're feeling unconscious right now, you should go to the doctor.

Don't have sex if you're feeling unconscious.

Yeah, maybe you left your tampon in me too. It might be toxic shock. Stop watching this video.

You're unconscious. Don't watch this video anymore.

What are you doing? Okay.