Irritated that your partner doesn’t follow through on your requests?

Let's think of something that your partner has asked you to do that you have struggled to follow through on. And let's think about why have you struggled to follow through. This is a really good example of the fundamental attribution error. We come up with a lot of really seemingly understandable justifications and reasons. We don't go immediately to, oh, I didn't follow through because I don't love my partner.

When we're confronted with something potentially negative about ourselves, we are so much more likely to attribute it to an external an external factor rather than an internal factor.

However, when it's our partner, we are much more likely to come up with this deeper meaning. We don't give them that same grace of, oh, they were super busy that day, or this is something new for them that it's probably going to take a little bit of time for them to get into the habit of, or they were feeling really sick like we go to, they don't really care about me, so we need to check that tendency within our own brain and recognize like, I don't need to make this meaning out of it for my partner. Let me give them the same grace and the same understanding that I give to myself.