Vanessa and Xander Marin explain the receiving gifts love language, which is about thoughtfulness and feeling noticed, not materialism. They suggest small surprises like favorite candy, love notes, or flowers, and keeping a phone list of gift ideas from hints your partner drops. Larger gifts deserve extra thought.
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Maybe I'd start a video like that. So we recently asked our Instagram community, if there was just one thing that your partner could do this year to make your relationship better, what would it be? And a ton of people responded to speak my love language.
Yeah.
So if you haven't heard of it, the love languages basically refers to the ways that we each like to give and receive love. And oftentimes in relationships, we have different languages. And that that can lead to a little bit of miscommunication or just misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. Like not feeling that love that your partner is actually sending to you because you guys are speaking different love languages. So we have been doing an entire series about each of the five different love languages, and today, gifts are the language that we are talking about. So gifts is probably the most misunderstood love language, and we're gonna talk about that in a second. So we wanted to make sure we really got into, like, what is this love language all about? Is it just materialistic? Like, all you want is gifts. And we are gonna talk especially about how to love your partner in the love language of gifts, especially if that is not your love language. And you're just thinking, like, okay, so I have to give you a gift like, every freaking day.
Yeah, it seems weird. It feels hard. But listen to this video. Watch this video. Don't listen to it.
Watch it, but don't listen to it.
Listen and watch this.
Put it on mute to watch it.
Listen to and watch this video, and you will see that it is not as hard as it feels right now.
Before we get into that, though, we want to know, do you know what your love language is? So drop us a note in the comments and let us know what your love language is.
But if you're brand new here, we first just want to say, hi. We are Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa is a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude, and we've been together actually 14 years to the day that we are recording this video.
Pretty wild.
Pretty wild.
And our account is all about giving you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to to create a truly extraordinary relationship. Inside of the bedroom and out. So if you already know that you're interested in that, just go ahead and hit that subscribe button so you can find out about all of our videos.
All right, so let's talk about what receiving gifts as a love language really means. Now, let's just assume that your partner is a receiving gifts person, which I'm going to assume because you're probably watching this wondering, all right, how the hell Do I deal with my partner? How do I do this? So what does it mean? Your partner probably feels the most loved when they are being given gifts. And it's really easy to jump to this conclusion that, you know, this person is maybe materialistic, but the reality is it is not about receiving elaborate or expensive gifts. Like, it is all about the effort and the surprise. It's really the thought that counts. So it could really be as small as, like, you're at the grocery store, you see their favorite chocolate bar, and you're like, you know what? I'm going to grab that, bring that home for my partner and, and give it to them when you get home. And that's gonna feel so meaningful.
All right, so let's give you some tips for how to love your partner if their love language is gifts. So like Xander was just saying, it's really so much more about the thought involved. Like your partner wants to know, you're thinking of them. You're, you know, kind of throughout the day seeing things that you think that they might enjoy. So again, it's like the intention behind it is so much more meaningful than the actual gift. So that's what you kind of want to go throughout your day, like kind of thinking about your partner and what are things that, that they might enjoy. Not that you have to be thinking about this every single minute of every single day or anything like that, but sort of looking at the world through this lens of like, what would your partner appreciate about it?
Yeah. And along with that, surprises can be so meaningful if your partner is receiving gifts person. So really try to think outside of the typical times that you give gifts, like holidays or birthdays or Valentine's Day. You know, it's just like that day to day stuff like Vanessa was talking about. Is there something cool that I can do to support surprise them? You know, something that they're really going to appreciate just like on a random day. Yeah.
The random aspect of it is so meaningful because I think sometimes even gifts, love language, people, they're like, they know to expect the gift on Christmas, but it's, it's like a random Tuesday and you brought something home, like, that feels really exciting. So with this love language, it's really all about like the small but mighty gestures. So little tiny gifts that you give your partner for no reason whatsoever, not because it's their birthday or it's an expected time of the year. Like even little love notes could be a gift. So I think a lot of times we think about gifts, we think of expensive material things But a gift could be like just a little love note that you've written to your partner. It could be flowers, maybe even a framed photo of the two of you. So definitely focus on those little gifts that you could give more frequently. Things that don't cost very much or don't cost anything at all. But of course, it's also nice to think about the larger gifts too. So maybe put a little bit of extra thought and effort into those as well.
Well, and if that is feeling really scary to you right now, here's a pro tip. Keep a list on your phone of all the things that your partner has mentioned that they really like or that maybe they want. If your partner's love language is gifts, I promise they will definitely be dropping plenty of hints. You may just need to learn or train yourself to start picking up those hints. So, you know, if you keep this list, you're always going to have some inspiration when it comes time to to get a gift. Or, you know, you might just notice something out in your day to day life that you're like, oh, that's something that they were talking about like four months ago. That's going to be so meaningful because it's going to be such a nice surprise.
Yeah. Keeping that note on your phone is just such a great way to train your brain to pay more attention to this because again, if this is not your love language, it's not going to come naturally to you. So it's going to take more effort. All right, so one of the unique things that we've been doing with this love language series is to talk about ways to bring love languages into the bedroom. So fortunately this is one of the easiest ones to bring into the bedroom because there are so many different sex related gifts that you can give to your partner. It could be lingerie, sex toys, lube, books, videos, one of our courses, or our guides. So we will put a link in the description box down below to some of our favorite stuff that you can check out to gift to your partner. All right, so that wraps up our video on what to do if your partner's love language is gifted.
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