Postpartum Breasts - Breast Play After Baby

No.

Maybe I'd start a video later. Having a baby can change pretty much everything about your sex life. I mean, it changes everything about your life in general, so why would your sex life be any different? But with your sex life in particular, you know, your body has changed, your priorities are different. Life in general just looks a lot different. Now. One of the things that we hear about really frequently from new moms is how surprising, surprised they are by how much their relationship with one particular part of their body changes, that is their breasts. So breasts are funny. You know, they're often seen as the symbol of femininity, of desirability. But pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding can really wreak havoc on a woman's body, on all parts of a woman's body, not just the breasts. So today we are gonna be talking about this topic because we've heard from so many moms who say, I was just so surprised by this. I. I was prepared for a lot of other changes, a lot of other things to be different, but I was so surprised by how differently my relationship with my breasts was. So today we're gonna talk you through how to start reincorporating breastplay into your sex life postpartum.

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All right, so like we said earlier, having a baby pretty much changes everything about your sex life. Right? We've done a video specifically about postpartum sex, which we will link to up here and in the description box below. But we wanted to do a video specifically about this dynamic that we hear about time after time, which is breast play postpartum.

Okay, so first, let's talk a little bit about, like, why is this even a thing to begin with? There are a couple of different reasons. So first is that your breasts themselves have changed. So they're probably feeling pretty heavy and full. The size of your breasts can change really dramatically throughout pregnancy and after childbirth, sometimes the evenness of your breasts can really shift. So, you know, your breasts are feeling very different. They also might be leaking milk for the first time ever, or, you know, the first time since your last. Last pregnancy. And your nipples can be really achy. They can crack. I Think a lot of people don't realize just how challenging breastfeeding actually is. Like, your. The skin is sensitive there and it really can get inflamed and irritated and just not feel good.

Yeah. So your relationship with your breasts has changed. I think it's important to just acknowledge that your boobs do not just belong to you anymore. You know, in the past, like, you. You probably touch your boobs, maybe your partner touches your boobs, but now they're keeping another human being alive, which is a big deal. And you know, your kid is touching them. Hands, mouths, et cetera. Like you've basically latching on to it. Latching on. You have become a human milk machine.

And another complicating factor is that the sensations of your breasts may have changed as well. So a lot of women postpartum say that their breasts feel really achy, really painful, very sore, or again, that sense of fullness that I talked about earlier.

Not a surprise that you don't wanna have someone else play with them when they're feeling that way.

Yeah. And a lot of women feel really shocked by how differently sex feels after giving birth. So what you used to, like, pre pregnancy or even during pregnancy might not feel good for you anymore. And even the things that you didn't like in the past may actually be feeling good for you now. So it feels like a lot of things shift. And having the sensation in your breast actually feel like it changes so much and can just feel very confusing and complicated. So we know that this can be a challenging time and it's easy to freak out about, like, why is this so different? Why does this relationship feel so complex right now? But we do think that this can be an opportunity for you to re, explore and reexamine. Like, what is it that feels good to my body right now?

All right, so now we're going to get into some tips for incorporating postpartum breastplate. So first of all, it is okay to create new boundaries. It is also okay to create boundaries that maybe, and you. Maybe you never have created boundaries like this before. You know, like, you can tell your partner that your breasts are off limits. Or maybe there's specific ways that you are okay with them touching your breast, but not others. So communicate all of this to your partner because they have no way of knowing what it is like for you unless you communicate it with them. And also, you can communicate that this is just a temporary boundary. It's not necessarily necessarily permanent. Maybe it's your first time having kids. You don't know what is going to change over time if it's going to go back to the way it was or not. So communicate with them. This is temporary. We can keep checking in, but it doesn't mean that you're never going to be able to touch my breasts again. So I think the mistake a lot of us fall into is feeling like, well, you know, this was. This was like within bounds before, and now it feels out of bounds. So I'm not allowed to create a new boundary because we've already. I've already been okay with this. And the reality is you can set boundaries ongoing throughout your life. That is totally fine.

And it's also a good reminder to yourself too. Like, you can tell yourself, hey, I get to change my relationship with my body. I get to change what my boundaries are. And that doesn't mean that they're gonna be permanent. So if you find yourself freaking out, I'm never gonna be able to enjoy boob play again. I used to love it so much. Like, this is a powerful reminder for you to give yourself. Like, this is most likely going to be a temporary change. All right, the next tip that we want to give you is to find ways to work around it so it doesn't have to be black and white, all or nothing type of thing. So let's talk about some of the actual logistics of what can come up. Depending on where you are in your postpartum journey, you can have milk leaking out of your breasts. Sometimes they can even spray out of your breasts, especially if they're being played with. So some women find it helpful to pump or to breastfeed before being intimate to just kind of get rid of that anxiety or the concern about the feeling of fullness or the fear of your breasts leaking. If it feels comfortable for you, you can also wear a bra or keep your top on during sex.

Totally fine.

Yeah, you don't have to do that at all. But it definitely is an option. And for a lot of women, it makes them feel more comfortable. Another thing to do is you can try to avoid really bouncy or rapid movements during sex. So maybe this is not the time to try out, like, cowgirl position, the way you see it in porn, with a lot of, like, bouncing up and down. So, you know, if your breasts are feeling very sore and heavy, maybe focus a bit more on going slow, on having gentle grinding movements rather than a lot of bouncing going on. And finally, if your breasts just feel like a total turn off to you at this point in time, that is okay. What you can do, though, is think about like, what are other areas kind of nearby that might feel good? So maybe your neck, maybe like your breastbone, your collarbone area, your shoulders or your back or sometimes even like the underboob or the side boob area can still feel pleasurable too. So like I was saying earlier, this can just be a good opportunity to re explore and re examine, maybe even find some new places of your body that you hadn't ever played with before.

Ooh, that's a good idea. All right, so the next tip is to understand your partner's reality. So like we were saying, a lot of women find that they don't like breastplate postpartum. But it's important to realize that a lot of men do even, you know, they are not feeling the things that you are feeling. And you know, they may actually be more turned on by your breasts. Yeah.

And just an important note that we're obviously getting a little heteronormative right here. But the rest of this video, we don't mean that this is just about male and female couples.

Yeah. So look, it is totally okay if you don't want your breasts stimulated during sex, but if the main concern coming up for you is a fear that your partner is going to think that your boobs are gross, just know that a lot of men do find postpartum breasts to be incredibly sexy. Most many partners do, regardless of gender.

Yeah, yeah, I think we phrase that as men initially, but most partners, you know, we've heard this kind of feedback, particularly from men, saying like, she gets so freaked out about this, but I think it's super sexy. So I think that's why we started off saying men. But you know, you very well may have a female partner or a non binary partner who, who thinks that this is just as hot too. All right, and our final tip is to reconnect with your breasts. So we started this video kind of talking about how breasts are often seen as the symbol of femininity, desirability. A lot of women feel very connected to their breasts, really proud of them, like to show them off a little bit. Of course they bring up some self consciousness for some people, like members of the itty bitty titty committee like myself. But having a baby may change your relationship with your breasts. They may not feel to you feminine or desirable anymore. So we think that it's important for you to find ways to reconnect with your breasts and see them as sensual and sexual and even just a part of your body. Again, kind of going back to what we were saying earlier about how it can feel like they don't even belong to you anymore. So we want you to be able to reconnect with them, learn to love them again, despite the changes that they've gone through. Because of the changes that they've gone through. So what does this actually mean? You know, this could be really practical things. Could be things like, you know, wearing soft tops or dresses that make your breasts feel more comfortable instead of restricting them all the time. Or this could be wearing items of clothing that make you feel beautiful and sexy. Maybe it's, like, fabrics or the cut of the fabric. It could also mean time putting lotion or oil on your breasts and really, like, taking the time to touch them lovingly, caress them, you know, really gently. I realize I keep, like, going like this right now. I'm, like, trying to touch my own boobs right now, but I'm not gonna do that in. It's not that kind of video. But, you know, just find what works for you. Find what helps you feel more connected to your own body and makes you feel just connected to that, you know, to your breasts in particular, too. It's really important for you to recognize it's still your body, it's still you, and you can still connect with it.

All right? So just at the end of the day, remind yourself that you are raising a tiny little human. It is okay if sex feels different, and it is okay if your breasts feel different, if it is okay for your preferences to change. Just make sure you communicate with your partner about your needs and what things feel good, what things don't feel good. And do not feel bad for wanting different things. And do not feel bad that it's maybe a permanent change. It's maybe a temporary change. There's no way to know unless you communicate and then keep evaluating over time.

All right, so that wraps up our video on postpartum breastplate.

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Thanks so much for watching.

See you next time.