Pregnancy Sex Tips - How To Have Sex While Pregnant

No, I can't start a video later. Pregnancy can be complicated. It can be a really joyful time for so many couples. And it can also wreak havoc on your sex life.

Oh, yeah.

So between nausea, exhaustion, dryness, figuring out how your bodies fit together with this brand new belly, and fears about hurting the baby, sex. Sex during pregnancy can feel really challenging. So we decided to poll our Instagram audience and ask them to help us out, coming up with the best tips for having sex while you're pregnant. So today we are going to share all the details, all the top tips from our community.

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So let's get into our top tips for having great sex while you're pregnant. So before we get into them, we just want to say keep in mind everybody and everybody is different. So, you know, pay the most attention to what feels right for you. Always check with your doctor if you have any questions. But just wanted to give that little caveat before we get into our tips. So tip number one is that how sex feels and what you like may be very different when you're pregnant. So a lot of people reached out to us and said they were just shocked by how different sex felt to them when they were pregnant versus when they were not. There was one person who said what I liked changed from week to week. So we think that this can be a really great opportunity to practice getting more in tune with your body and feeling into what feels good for you. I mean, I think a lot of us have this tendency to sort of, we think we figure out what we like and we stick to to that. And it can feel confusing, even scary or overwhelming if what your body likes is changing. So I understand that. But yeah, I think it's just a good opportunity to try to pay attention to your body and rather than judging it to say like, okay, what's feeling good to me today?

Yeah, I think it's really easy to fall into a pattern over the years with a partner of like, this is how we do sex. This is what I like, this is what they like, and this is how we do it and kind of think that you're not allowed to change that over time. But this is a great opportunity, a really low stakes, low pressure way to make some changes like, hey, my body's changing and this isn't feeling good anymore, or I think something else could feel better.

So some of the specific things that might change for you are maybe certain parts of your body start to feel off limits. So some women said, I didn't like my breasts being played with, or I didn't want my belly being touched. And they may even be parts of your body that you really enjoyed having touched or stimulated in the past, but now they're just not feeling so great. You also might have certain activities that you used to really enjoy that you don't want to do now, or even vice versa. Maybe there were things you didn't used to like before, but you find yourself liking them during pregnancy. You may also find that you need to go a lot slower or a lot gentler than you used to before. And I think this can just be a good tip that goes hand in hand with that idea of trying to feel into your body and notice what's feeling good for you. Now, if you're going really fast and hard, it's a little bit more challenging to pay attention to those subtle cues.

But.

But going slow and being gentle can be much more helpful in that sense.

Another thing that can really help is using lube. If you don't typically use lube, or using more lube if you already do use it, that can be something that can help. Maybe you feel like you don't need to go quite as slow or gentle. It can facilitate the process and also just help make things more enjoyable.

Yeah, it can definitely increase sensation. So another thing to keep in mind is that your orgasm may feel really different. So a lot of women said it took different things to get them to reach orgasm during pregnancy than before. Or it felt harder, like sometimes it took longer. It just felt like it took more effort. So this is going to be a great opportunity to be patient with yourself, patient with your body, and instead of beating yourself up or getting frustrated, really trying to be so generous and graceful with your body and just give it what it needs because it's doing a lot of work, it deserves to have some pleasure as well. So throughout all of these changes and nuances, you definitely want to make sure to be communicating with your partner. So talk to them about what you're noticing about your body, what you're needing. Like, do not, do not be afraid to Advocate for your needs, and just to talk to your partner about your sex life.

Yeah. I think it's really important to just put it in the context of everything is changing. I'm feeling different, you know, temporarily at least. I'm going to need to try to do things a little differently, you know, change our patterns around and, you know, it's. It's understandable when it's in that context, rather than just being like, I don't like this anymore, or that doesn't feel good.

Yeah. And you can try to get your partner on board with this idea of, like, let's explore sex right now. It's definitely feeling different. So let's figure out, like, what it is that's really feeling good and connecting and sexy to us right now.

Yeah. All right. So the second tip is understanding that your sex drive might change when you're pregnant. So a lot of women reported feeling hornier during pregnancy, but not everyone said that they felt hornier. Some women expected that they were gonna be more horny and then were a little disappointed when they found out that they weren't. So it's different for everyone. Some women may be more, some women may be the same. Some women may be less. So maybe best not to go into it with a certain expectation, but just, you know, understand that your sex drive may increase.

Well, go into it. The expectation of, like, your sex drive may change. Yeah. I think we definitely heard from a lot of women who were like, I heard that I would be so horny and wild during pregnancy, and I was the complete opposite, and I felt so disappointed. So I think, yeah, we just don't want to have, like, the expectation that it's going to be this wild and, you know, exciting time, because it might not be.

It might be different.

Yeah.

The other thing is just understanding that your sex drive may fluctuate as well throughout the pregnancy. So there may be periods where it's on the upswing, and then there may be periods where you're just not wanting it. So be ready for that as well. And then the final thing around sex drive is that body image can really change during pregnancy. You know, your body is changing, and the way you feel about it may. May change as well. And that can have a big impact on your drive as well.

Yeah. There were some women who said, you know, I felt so sexy in my body, like, so proud of my body and what it was doing. I just, you know, my confidence just went through the roof. And then there were other women who said, you know, I just. I felt really unattractive I felt big and bloated. And, you know, I struggled to even want to be intimate with my partner because I felt so self conscious about my body. So you have to just be prepared. You know, it might go one way or the other. It might kind of change every single day. But again, if you can find it in you to be really gentle and compassionate with your body and recognize that it is so hard at work and it's doing a really amazing thing, it's okay if you don't love your body every single day or every single minute, but I think just having that basic respect for what your body is doing can be helpful. All right, that brings us to tip number three, which is to be flexible about positions. Maybe not. Maybe not too flexible, maybe not physically flexible. So these are positions that can be used by heterosexual couples during, during intercourse or by couples of any orientation if you're playing around with a toy. But again, like, the positions that worked for you in the past may not work during pregnancy since you're having, like a big physical change to your body that, depending on where you are in your pregnancy, can actually get in the way. So we asked people on Instagram what were the best sex positions that they use during pregnancy. By far and away, the number one was cowgirl. A lot of women said it felt best, it was just easiest. The belly was kind of out of the way. A lot of women also said reverse cowgirl too, where you flip around, you're facing your partner's toes rather than facing their head. And again, for the same reason that it just like really kept the belly out of the way, especially during the later stages of pregnancy. A lot of women also loved doggy style and it felt easier. Some women said they got pretty tired in cowgirl because there's a lot of, like, you're doing a lot of work with your legs. So doggy felt a bit easier because you can prop yourself on all four appendages rather than just two. And spooning was also mentioned as being like, the gentlest and easiest one. So that would be you're on your side, your partner is behind you, entering you from behind. We also asked women what positions just did not work for you. And missionary was by far and away the response that people said just could not happen, especially in later stages of pregnancy. So the final point that I want to make about positions is it's okay to not be, like, creative about positions at this point in your life. There are a more limited number of positions that you can use when you're pregnant. We Got a lot of messages from people saying, like, I wanna know, what are the creative positions? I get a little bit bored doing the same ones over and over again. But the reality is you're dealing with a really unique situation. It's only for a temporary period of time. And it's totally okay if this is not the time where you wanna explore all these acrobatic, wild positions. Like, if you find something that works and it's feeling good for you, just stick with that. Don't feel like you have to do a million different positions.

Yeah, I think a lot of people get this idea that when they're having sex that they need to be doing like five, six, seven, eight different positions in one session. And the reality is, you know, that's what people see in porn. But in real life, I think a lot of people just stick with maybe one or two in a given session. And so do not put pressure on yourself to be doing a lot of different things. Just go with what works. All right, so tip number four is that sex does not need to equal penetration. I think this is a myth that we talk about a lot, that a lot of people think the word sex and think penetrative sex, but there are a whole lot of options on the menu. So there is oral sex, there is manual sex, there is masturbation. We heard from a lot of women who said that pregnancy was when they really learned how to masturbate and appreciate masturbation. So I think that's a great option.

Yeah, so I think, you know, if the idea of intercourse, if that just feels really exhausting to you or you're having trouble getting into good positions that feel right for your body. Like, don't limit yourself to feeling like that's the only way you can be intimate with your partner. See if you can put other options on the table. You might feel a lot more open to those. They might feel a lot easier too. So again, the theme of this video is kind of be flexible with yourself and just recognize, but not too flexible. Not too flexible physically, but just recognize, like things are really different and unique during this period of time. Okay, so there was one other really big theme that came up in the responses that we were getting, which is about how to handle your partner's reaction to sex during pregnancy. Pregnancy, especially with heterosexual couples. A lot of women said, you know, my male partner, like, he just really struggled with having sex with me when I was pregnant. So we were kind of curious to know, is this something that you want us to do a follow up video about? We didn't want to include it in this video and have it turn into this massively long video. But if you're curious about learning some tips about dealing with your partner's reaction to pregnant sex, leave us a note down in the comments below and we will take a look and maybe create a little follow up video to this one.

Oh yeah. So that wraps up our top tips for sex while pregnant. If you like this video, please give it a like hit that red button to subscribe to our YouTube channel and hit the notification icon so that you keep getting these videos the moment we post them.

And we also have a little gift for you if you and your partner are struggling to stay connected during pregnancy. If it is feeling like a really complicated time in your lives right now, we have a free guide for you called the Simple Daily Check in for Couples. This guide will give you a five minute check in that you and your partner can do together. It's really quick and easy, but it has a shock shockingly big impact on making you feel closer and more connected. So we will put the link to that guide down in the description box below. Thanks so much for watching.

See you next time.