Pride Terms - What Does LGBTQIA+ Stand For?

Maybe I started videoing. Happy Pride.

Happy Pride.

June is National Pride Month, and it is incredibly important to us that we highlight and celebrate the LGBTQIA community here on YouTube and across all of our channels. So, obviously, we are a male, female, heterosexual couple. We're cisgender. And of course, we see the world filtered through the lens of that experience. But we so, so highly value diversity of identity orientation, experience, and opinion. It's actually written into our company values. At the end of the day, we believe that everyone is deserving and capable of having an extraordinary relationship. And we also firmly believe that every human being deserves to feel seen, heard, validated, and celebrated.

We really feel that we have a duty as a heterosexual cisgender couple to highlight and really elevate the experience of our LGBTQIA community. So today, we are breaking down all of the important Pride terminology so that you can be the best ally you can to the LGBTQIA community. And if you're brand new to our channel, then, hello, we are Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa is a sex therapist, and we've been together for 13 years.

And our channel is all about giving you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extreme, extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out. So if you already know you are interested in that, go ahead and hit that subscribe button right now. All right, so if you've ever been confused about what does lgbtqia, what does that all stand for? We have got you covered today. So we're gonna be going through a list of some of the most common terms that are used to describe a variety of experiences of millions and millions of people all over the world. So just wanna be clear, this is not an exhaustive list. This list is always changing. You may be watching years later and think it's actually horribly outdated, which is great. Language should evolve. But we just wanted to give you a little bit of a primer of, you know, what these words mean right now, so that you can be better educated, be better prepared to be a great ally. So we can get started by what is lgbtqia? What does that all stand for? So we are going to be going through each of these terms in more detail in just a second. But that specific phrase, as it stands right now, stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual. And the plus can be used for some people to describe themselves, but also just to kind of mean there are other terms out there. There are more always developing and coming. So it's just kind of like saying, plus, we're not. We're not ending here.

Yeah. You may have heard LGBT in the past. Lgbtq. I think, you know, it's constantly evolving. So the plus indicates there is more out there. It's not an exhaustive list. All right, so let's get started. We're going to start with the word queer, which is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender. And so, like many of these other words we're going to discuss, queer used to be a pretty derogatory term, and it definitely still will be derogatory if you use it in an accusatory or a negative, like a name calling way. So it's just important to be aware of your intention when you're using these words and make sure that you're saying them respectfully and openly and, you know, not like muttering them under your breath. And those have very different meanings and give different impressions.

Yeah, I mean, I have a hunch that anybody who's taking the time to watch this video is not trying to use any of these words in a derogatory kind of way. But I think queer is such an interesting one because it did used to have a very strongly negative association, and it's sort of been reclaimed now and has a different kind of energy around it.

Yes. Yeah, I just wanted to throw that out there because, you know, a lot of us may have been raised or in school told, like, don't use this word. This is a really offensive word. And so I think it's important to just be aware that, you know, it's not about never saying something or always saying something and just being aware of how you're saying it and what you're meaning by saying it.

And if you're ever in doubt, just don't say it. Use a different word. All right, let's move on to bisexual. So bisexual is somebody who is attracted to both men and women. It could feel like an equal attraction. It could feel like, oh, I'm just like 10% attracted to women. But you're attracted to both sets. And I also want to call out, you know, a lot of times there are weird issues in heterosexual relationship if someone will say, oh, okay, well, you know, you're a woman and you're with a man, but don't you secretly want a woman? And it's just like, come on, guys, like, we can be attracted to different kinds of people and be in a relationship with one person, and just because that one person doesn't happen to be a man and a woman at the same time. Like, that doesn't mean that you're secretly wishing you were with the other sex. All that. Bisexual means that you're attracted to both.

All right, so next we have homosexual or gay, which really mean the same thing, and that's a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own.

Sexual gay tends to be used more for, like, gay men, but it can mean, you know, for women as well, describe themselves as gay. All right, next up, we have intersex. So a lot of people think of sex as just male and female, but it is so much more complex than that. Even just physiologically, what makes someone male or female? There are a lot of different ways that it can differ between people. We have our chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, genitals. And those aren't always, like, black and white, one or the other. A lot of people don't realize that 1 to 2% of all babies born in the US are born intersex, which means that they have, like, ambiguous genitalia. They might have a little bit of, you know, either set of what we stereotypically refer to as male or female. So that's what intersex means, is it's not this black and white. What we think of as just male and female, because gender and sex are so much more complex than that.

All right, so transgender, this refers to people whose gender identity differs from the same sex that they were assigned at birth.

Yes. So going back to what I was saying about, you know, kind of talking about babies born in the US when you're born in a hospital, you know, the doctor assigns you a sex based on what they see. And again, it's not as simple as, oh, there's a penis or, oh, there's a vulva there. But a lot of people are assigned a certain sex at birth that they themselves, like, do not feel themselves to be. So they might have a penis, but, no, I am a woman. So that's what transgender is. All right, next we have non binary. So non binary refers to people who experience their gender identity or their gender expression as falling outside of these categories of just male or just female. A lot of people don't like that binary of it's black or white, one or the other. They don't want to fit into that binary. They're non binary. Some other words that can be used to describe this. People might call themselves gender fluid, gender non conforming, but it's this idea of, like, I don't want to live within this. This framework. Just male or just female.

All right, so lesbian refers to women who like other women. And, you know, while the words homosexual and gay can refer to both men or women, lesbian really specifically refers just to women.

Next up, we have pansexual. So people who are pansexual describe themselves as just being attracted to people. They don't care about biological sex, about gender, about gender identity. To them, just the person, person, the essence, the spirit. That's the thing that they're actually attracted to.

All right, so now, plus, this is the plus in LGBTQIA plus. So people who identify this way don't feel like they fit into any of these groups, or they feel like they may fit into more than one of these groups, because the reality is that identity and sexual identity, it's really a spectrum. And it's not like there are these clean lines that define, okay, this is one, this is the other, this is another one. You know, you may move around, you may feel like multiple bits of both that aren't adjacent. And, you know, so there's a whole range of possibilities.

Next, we have asexual. So asexuality refers to the lack of sexual attraction to others and having low or even no interest in sexual activity. So asexuality is really misunderstood. So people who are asexual, they can still have romantic attractions to other people. They can still want to be in romantic or companionate relationships. They may even choose to sometimes have sex with their partner. They may sometimes feel the desire to. So it's not like, again, it's not this black and white. Like, people who are asexual have zero interest in sex whatsoever.

They've never done it before.

Yeah, exactly. But they choose to define themselves as like, this is something that's not important to me, that I don't want to. To be a regular part of my life. I think also the word asexual gets thrown around a lot when people have low desire. Like, a lot of people will DM us on Instagram and say, like, I haven't wanted to have sex in months. Like, I must be asexual. And that, again, that's not what it means. It's a really consciously chosen identity that someone has, rather than just, like, I've had a long dry spell.

All right, so now moving on, we're going to talk about aromantic. So this is similar to asexual but referring to romance. So people who are aromantic experience little or no romantic attraction to others or just a lack of interest in a romantic relationship or engaging in romantic behavior. So the key distinction with asexual is that aromantic is a lack of romantic attraction rather than sexual attraction. And so this is really a continuum. Like some people have no romantic attraction or desire, some experience low levels of it or feel it really infrequently where they can only feel romantic attraction under very specific conditions. And many of these different places on the continuum actually have their own kind of sub identity label, so to speak, like demiromantic. So you might hear variations on this that just mean very specific things within this spectrum.

Next we have questioning. So this refers to people who are just questioning how they want to define their own sexual orientation or their gender identity. I think, you know, as a society we just have this tendency to want to put ourselves and other people in boxes and just put these labels on them and like, this is what you are. I identify you this way. And the reality is that, you know, our sexual identity, our orientation, our expression, like it's something that can be in flux and it's something that we can question and wonder, you know, at different periods in our lives. We don't have to stick ourselves in these little boxes. So questioning is a nice term just to, I think a lot of times it just gives people permission to like, yeah, it's okay to question.

Yeah, it's okay to not be sure. Yeah, I think that's a big thing.

Okay, so we're actually kind of curious to hear from you. What do you think about this idea of like giving yourself permission to question your own identity and maybe try on some different identities? So just give us a one down in the comments below and let us know, like, yeah, sure, I'm down to question, give myself that space.

All right, so moving on. Bicurious. So bicarious refers to a person, usually who's heterosexual, who is curious about hooking up with someone whose sex is different from the sex of their usual sexual partners. But they don't necessarily identify as bisexual. So they may be questioning in some regard, but specifically questioning whether they might be bisexual or interested in that and so thereby curious.

All right, so next up we have gender expression. So this isn't an identity. Like someone wouldn't say, I am gender expression, but this is just another term that we wanted to, to be familiar with. So gender expression is how you choose to present yourself to the outside world and how that links to the way that you experience your own gender.

All right, so next we have agender. So someone who's agender is a person who experiences no specific attachment to any gender.

Next we have gender non conforming. So I mentioned this briefly when I talked about non binary earlier, that sometimes people use those terms interchangeably, but gender non conforming can also have like a slightly different definition. So it refers to somebody who doesn't like to describe themselves as just male or female. They don't like to sit in that binary. But sometimes people use the word gender non conforming to mean like you're actively going against the things that you're supposed to do as your particular gender. So for example, if you identify as a woman, but you like only dressing in men's clothes, so there's something about playing with that, you know, these ideas of what we're supposed to do, how we're supposed to present that know you may enjoy.

All right, and finally we're going to talk about the word transition. So like Vanessa said earlier, not everybody identifies as the gender that they were assigned at birth. And so transition, a transition can refer to someone moving towards a more authentic expression of their self identified gender, not the gender they were assigned at birth. So for someone who's trans, that could mean coming out as trans. It could mean starting to dress differently, starting hormone replacement therapy, or getting gender confirmation surgery.

That's another example of the way that language has evolved. Like this used to be called gender reassignment surgery. And a lot of people said, well, you know, reassigning makes it sound like you're just kind of, oh, I just woke up today and I want to be a woman instead. And so we changed the language to gender confirmation to make it more affirmative. Like I'm confirming, you know, I'm having my physical body confirm and align with who I know myself to be on the inside. So again, just another example of the way that language can shift and adjust and improve over time too. So the process of transitioning, I mean, it is a process and it's really different for every trans person. Not every trans person decides to go through all these steps, decides to have surgery. So it's really important that we honor all the unique ways that people decide to embark on their transition or not embark on their transition. Transition. So nobody has to go through any specific set of steps to, you know, have fully transitioned or have it count as transitioning. All right, so those are the terms that we wanted to cover with you today. Again, we just really want to emphasize language is always shifting. We're always learning better ways that we can be allies, that we can be more compassionate, accepting, kind, and just validating of all kinds of experiences. So I'm actually looking for forward to this video being outdated and for There being, you know, other nuances that we haven't talked about here, because that just means that we're getting better. So a lot has obviously changed over the years. I think we. We started out just as lgbtq. We've been adding a lot of other letters, and it's great to see, you know, all of those changes. And the other final point that I want to make here is, you know, sometimes people, especially heterosexual cisgender people, get a little bit tripped up about language and think, like, oh, you know, I don't want to offend anyone, but it's, you know, it's always changing, and I don't know what's okay to say and what's not okay to say. And I think the bottom line here is, like, just come from a place of respect, of just wanting to understand people and wanting to validate them for how they choose to express themselves, how they choose to identify themselves. If you just come from a place of kindness and openness, like, it's okay if you make mistakes sometimes. We talked about this in our pronouns video too. You know, we're all human. We're gonna make mistakes. But I think as long as you're approaching it from this place of empathy and of, you know, I want to validate you as who you see yourself to be and who you choose to be, who you know yourself to be, I think if we can just come from that place, and we'll all be fine.

Well, it's a nice little recap, Vanessa. So that wraps up our video on Pride terminology. We really hope that you feel empowered to be a better LGBTQIA ally after watching this video. So if you like the video, please help us out. Give it a like, hit that red button to subscribe. Subscribe. Leave a comment. Click the notification icon so you get notified when we put out more videos. There's lots of things to do, and every single one of them really helps our channel grow.

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See you next time.