Problem Solving

Name: Problem Solving
Uploaded: 2024-05-01T10:00:04+00:00
Duration: 55 s
Channel: Vanessa Marin
Description: A short YouTube commentary by Vanessa Marin analyzing a relationship interaction where a partner responds to vulnerability by immediately offering…

1 May 2024 · 1 min

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0:55

A short YouTube commentary by Vanessa Marin analyzing a relationship interaction where a partner responds to vulnerability by immediately offering solutions. Vanessa argues that when someone expresses sadness, the helpful response is to ask what they need (venting vs. advice) or offer permission before giving a pep talk, rather than launching into problem-solving (food, exercise, hormones, medication).

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Working such a man right now. But, like, this is just such a stereotypical male response. You, both, you, Xander and the guy here are going into problem solving mode. And she's not asking for that. The way that I read this, she's just feeling really sad. She's finally gotten to that vulnerable center within herself, and she's just like, I feel sad. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like myself. And he's leaping into problem solving. So much detail. Food, exercise, hormone test, prescription, medication, hormone. Like. Like, she's not asking for any of that. And so I think him just going into that level of, like, she's just going to shut down completely or it's going to turn into a bigger fight. Like, she doesn't need that right now. What would have really saved him right here is if he said, hey, what do you need right now? Do you just want to vent or do you want me to give advice? Or he could even have said, like, I've got a real good pep talk just in the back of my head for you. Can I give it to you right now? But she doesn't need this.