
Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist, explains why couples might consider scheduling sex. She reframes scheduling sexual time as analogous to scheduling dates early in a relationship, normalizing it as a practical strategy rather than a sign of incompatibility, while noting it won't suit every couple.
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Get ready with me while we talk about why you might want to consider scheduling sex. Hey, there. I'm Vanessa Marin. I'm a licensed sex therapist. The first step to scheduling sex is to get on board with the idea of it, because, let's be real. Most people really hate the idea of scheduled sex. They feel like it's a bad sign, like something must be wrong with the relationship, or maybe we're not actually that compatible if we're having to sch. Schedule it. So let me ask you this. When you and your partner first started dating, what did you do when you wanted to spend time with each other? You scheduled dates, right? And once you started being intimate with each other, you were probably having sex on those dates. So you were basically scheduling sex right from the beginning of the relationship. Now, at the time, did you think of this as a bad sign? Did you. Did you think it meant the two of you weren't compatible? Obviously not. You kept dating that person. You probably looked at it as, hey, I'm a person who has a full life. This person I'm dating also has a full life. So if we want to spend time together, quality time together, it makes sense to schedule it. So if that's something you've been doing since the very beginning of dating, why should it be any different now that you're in a relationship? Now, scheduling sex is not the right thing for every couple. There's no one tip that's going to work for every couple. But if waiting around for spontaneous sex just hasn't really been working out for you, then it's definitely worth trying to change your mind about scheduling sex.
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