She Swears He Cheated… But Did They Ever Agree on this?

And we're coming in hot and heavy with this first submission. This was something that I. I gasped out loud when I read this, and I was like, oh, Xander and I have not talked about this in our relationship. I don't know what our boundaries are around this.

Yeah, well, let's see what this is. Because I. I. Vanessa has seen all of these in. In picking the ones for the episode, we intentionally did not show them to me so that I get to react in the moment.

Okay, so here we go. Xander, does this count as cheating? My partner took pictures of my friends and family off of social media and used AI software to make nudes of their photos. I found a folder of them on his laptop.

Oh, wait, wait.

Can you imagine? You're just, like, on your partner's laptop, and then you find this folder, and you open it up, and it's like, your mom nude. Or your dad nude.

No.

Or your best friend nude. I would die.

I would be. I would be. I would be horrified. I would be shocked. I would be appalled. I like, there. I feel like there's, like, a cynical part of me that might laugh for, like, 10 seconds, and then I would be absolutely horrified. And honestly, I don't. Crazy. I don't know that I would be able to come back from that, maybe.

I mean, that's, like. I'd really need to understand, like, did they do, like, Grandpa?

I don't know. Why. Why didn't you tell. Why didn't you tell us the details? Who?

We need to know exactly who. Okay, so now that we're over the. The shock, we have to answer the question. Does this count as cheating?

Oh, man. This is.

Wait, wait. Let's do a countdown. Let's do a 3, 2, 1. And we both say yes or no. Is it cheating? 3, 2, 1.

Yes. No. But. There's a big but. Like, I don't know if I would call it cheating, but I would call it real sketchy. Gross. Like, gross. Very highly questionable of this person's character type of behavior such that I would consider it similarly to cheating in terms of, like, a violation. Huh. Because here's the thing. I mean, like, you think we all think about, like, at times, people naked. Like, we like our. Our brains, whether voluntarily or involuntarily. At times, we envision. We envision things like this. We can't turn that part of us off. So, like, I think you think about stuff like this. It's like, you can't. You can't say. I mean, sure, someone could say this, but it's Impractical. You could. Like, if you ever think about somebody naked, you ever think about somebody else sexually, that's cheating on me. I don't think that's practical. Then again, like, so this is like you've done, you've, you've violated someone. It's. I don't know. I mean, it's like if you, like, if you share nudes of your partner without their knowledge, I wouldn't say that's cheating. I would say that's super up and something else. Like there's another term for that, but like, it's not. I wouldn't necessarily say that it's cheating, but it's, it's equally bad, if not worse.

That's a strange comparison. No, I think to me, this, this definitely is creepy. It's unethical. It's a fucked up thing to do to people, especially people that you like, know and presumably care about. But for me, I would say it crosses the line into a kind of emotional cheating because you're actively trying to create something to be turned on by.

Beyond what your brain might naturally or involuntarily do.

Well, that's weird because I'm like, I don't think of, I don't think fantasizing counts as cheating. I think it's okay to like.

So this was like assisted fantasizing.

There's something, I don't know, playing, just playing around with something in your brain or having a stray thought pop into your brain. Like, obviously if you're actively fantasizing about being with another person, like all the time, that I think counts as cheating. I think a random here and there. Like, I wonder what it would be like to be with so and so or like a little, you know, I don't think that is cheating. But there's just a, like there's an activeness here or you're, you're going to all this effort to create these photos to then, I mean, presumably like jack off to them.

Yeah, I was, I was gonna say, is this, I mean, at least you didn't catch him jacking off to them. But like, almost certainly. Like what, like, why else did he do it? Yeah, but okay, here's. Okay, I've been reflecting on this. Here's what I think. I think, okay, let's talk about our relationship. Now that we are talking about this, I would say, yeah, this would feel like, like, I would, now that we've talked about it, consider this cheating. I think that's fair to say.

Yeah.

But having most people, 99.9% of people have never had this conversation because 99.9% of people have never thought about this idea until now. Because this is like, yeah, I knew it was possible because it's like a new technology. Like, you know, we can't always know what is what crazy things are going to become available to us and how we can tweak them to become sexual. Right. Like, we can't ever know all of this. So if you haven't talked about it and you've never even considered it, I don't think it's fair to be like, oh, that's cheating. Like, having never had any, never even knowing it was possible. But I would say now that we're talking about this, I. I would be fine being like, yeah, this, this crosses a line into, like, emotional infidelity. Sure.

Oh, I mean, there. I, I don't like that. Agree. That argument, though, because there are so many other things that you could say, oh, well, we never talked about it, so therefore it wasn't cheating. Like, like, you can't say that.

Yeah. But what I am saying is I would probably. I. I would strongly consider ending our relationship if I found this folder on your computer.

Yeah, same.

Whether it's cheating or not is what I'm saying. Like, it's a. It's an extreme violation is all I'm saying.

Yeah.

Now, calling it cheating or calling it something else. Like what. What do they, like, like what. What is the, what is the, like, criminal term for, like, when people are, like, sharing nudes or doing, like, thing. I'm revenge porn. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, it's not revenge. Yeah, well, yeah, not. Not revenge porn, but, you know, where it's like, you wouldn't be like, oh, well, it's not cheating, so therefore it's okay. It's like, no, it's a just. It's just different thing that's equally as bad. And I would consider this the same. If you've never talked about it, though, I think it's fair to be like, hey, to me, this would feel like cheating. And boom, all of a sudden, there, it's cheating. It's emotional infidelity. It's cheating.

Yeah. I mean, I guess for me, the overarching issue is like, your partner is a creep, and that's worth seriously considering entering ending the relationship over. We don't even have to really go into the, like, is this cheating or not? But I would still say to me, this feels like it's active enough and it's like, sexual enough that it feels like a violation. I would, I wouldn't, you know, if we've got the spectrum of cheating and, like, you know, we've got the lightest flirtation on one side and, like, you know, intercourse with another person or, you.

Know, repeatedly and, like, it's.

It's on this end. It's a low version of cheating, but.

It'S a high version of something.

Creepiness, whatever.

Yeah. Okay, if you're listening, what do we call this? Like, that's what I want to know. What do you think? Like, what is the terminology for what type of. Like, I would say it's a sexual violation, but, like, what? I feel like there's a better name for this that we got to come up with, guys, because honestly, like, this is the future. As up as that kind of sounds, like, this is. This is the reality. There's going to be so many avenues. There's going to be so many crazy avenues with technology to whether it's assisted fantasizing or whatever. Like, it's. It's wild. Like, I almost don't even want to think about it because it's scary.

Technology and cheating. That'll be the next episode, the next version of this cheating series.