YouTube video (Vanessa and Xander Marin) discussing pros and cons of playing music during sex. They share personal experience (they often use music), audience feedback from an Instagram poll, practical benefits (mood-setting, background sound, masking awkwardness, creating shared playlists/memories) and common concerns (distracting tempo/lyrics, awkwardness about song choice). The video concludes by encouraging experimentation while respecting individual preferences.
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We recently polled our audience on Instagram and asked them if they listened to music during sex. And we were actually shocked by how few people listen to music. So we got a lot of DMs from people saying things like, you know, I would like to listen to music, or I like the idea of music. But the logistics of it all just like feel kind of complicated.
It's too much.
So we, we decided to make a video where we sort of break down the pros and cons of using music during sex. Because we heard a lot of strong opinions on either side of.
This is a polarizing topic. We had no idea, but it is. So we gotta do a video about it.
So before we get into all of it, we wanna know if you like listening to music during sex. What do you think is one of the sexiest songs to listen to? So let us know down in the comments below.
But first, let us introduce ourselves. If you are brand new, this is Vanessa. I'm Xander. Marin is Vanessa here is a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude. We've been together for 14 years. Also, if you can see them, these cute little faces to the side of us are Mackie and Winston are two cute little pugs.
And our account is all about giving you the tools, tips and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out. So if you are interested in that, then just go ahead and hit that subscribe button right now.
Yeah.
So let's kick this off by talking about what goes down in our bedroom.
Oh yeah.
Which is a lot of music. So we were pretty surprised to see how few people are listening to music because we really enjoy it. So here are some of the reasons why we like it. One is simply because we think it's pretty sexy. It gets us in the mood.
Oh yeah, we got a whole DTF playlist.
So for me, I have certain songs that I know I can put on and it's just game on for me. And it can be fun for us to listen to music beforehand together to like get ourselves excited and looking forward to it and even just on our own too. Like, like I was saying, having some of those key songs that I just know are going to get me going.
Also we found it's just nice to have some kind of sound in the background that is not white noise or silence. Because for us at least having a lot of silence in the background, it can feel kind of weird. It's just. It's nice to have something else going on. Also having music playing in the Background can be really helpful if you're not feeling super confident with your dirty talk skills or, you know, the amount of noise that you make. It can be a nice way to just not cover things up, but just a compliment to everything.
It's also just sexy in the moment too. I mean, I think certain songs are just undeniably sexy. It feels like a way to engage another one of your senses. It's just like, nice added stimulation to have.
Yeah. It can also be really fun to make sexy playlists together. You know, you can give certain songs a new meaning. I know for me, you know, there's certain songs, if I hear them outside the bedroom, I'm like, oh, I recognize. Recognize this, you know, so, yeah, you can make new memories with those songs. You can even have inside jokes for when you hear it outside the bedroom. Hey, this is on our DTF mix. And, you know, speaking of playlists, we'll also link to our Spotify playlists in our in the description box where we kind of crowdsource from our audience all the most sexy songs.
Yeah, it's not our personal DTF playlist. It's a crowdsource. So there's a little something for everybody on these playlists. All right, now let's get into the cons that we heard people complain about when they were talking about this over on Instagram. So the main one that came up is that sometimes music can feel distracting. Like if the tempo isn't right, maybe you're trying to have some slow, sexy times with your partner, but it's this super fast paced song. Also, the mood of the song might not fit the kind of sex that you're having. Some people also mentioned lyrics. I don't personally pay attention to lyrics, but I know you've pointed out songs before where I think the song sounds sexy, but Xander will say, you realize that this song is about cheating, right? So for some people, they just pay too much attention to the lyrics. And it feels like I can't get in the mood with this song if it's about a certain subject.
Yeah. A lot of people also talk about just kind of feeling doubtful or awkward around music. Like, okay, well, what music do I play? When do I put it on? How do I put it on? Oh, my God, if I put on, the music is so, so cheesy and obvious that, like, I want to have sex because I haven't said anything and what if my partner says no and all of that, you know, I think the one thing I want to say about that is that the making A playlist with your partner can be super helpful. That will eliminate some of that cheesy factor or that awkwardness, because you can be like, hey, wouldn't it be fun to listen to some music? Like, in the future, when we are having sex, let's put together a playlist with all the songs that we really like. And then you've kind of talked about it before, so it's not like, oh, why'd you put the music on? It's like, this is our sexy playlist.
Yeah. And I think you can also make different kinds of playlists, too. Like, if there are different types of moods that you like to have in the bedroom, maybe you make different playlists. It can feel like a fun bonding experience to do it together. But I think ultimately, like, a lot of us get really worked up and scared about being awkward in the moment, but ultimately, like, what you're talking about is just taking a second to press play on your phone. Like, it doesn't need to be this thing that creates this huge impediment. Like, it's okay to be awkward for a second and just grab your phone, put the sexy playlist, especially if the.
Thing that you're doing is going to lead to, like, a more enjoyable experience afterwards. All right, so to recap, obviously, Vanessa and I really love music during sex. We think it's a great addition to having sex in silence. And, you know, it's worth experimenting with if you haven't been listening to music or it's been a while since you did. But at the end of the day, it's your sex life. You do you. If you're happy with silence, you're happy with whatever your current arrangement is. Keep doing that, by all means. You do not need to do this, but we just want to give some suggestions for how you can do it. Feeling a little less awkward and getting excited about it.
All right, so that wraps up our video on sex and music.
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