Vanessa and Xander Marin answer questions about anal play: how to stay clean, why it might feel good, and how to avoid pain. They recommend going slow, using lots of lube, and starting without penetration.
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We can't start a video. What is the deal with butt stuff? A lot of people are really curious, like, does it hurt? What's so great about it? And the question that you're probably asking yourself, should I try it? So today we are going to be talking about the allure of anal. So if you have ever felt curious about anal play or anal sex, leave us a little peach emoji in the comments below.
But first, if you're brand new new here, we want to say, hi, this is Vanessa. I'm Xander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist and we've been together for 14 years. These cute little faces. Well, maybe today is just one face. Our pug, Winston. Maggie might join us later. We'll see.
And our account is all about giving you the tools, tips and techniques that you need to create an extraordinary relationship. Inside of the bedroom and out. And come on, who's not interested in that? So just go. Go ahead and hit that subscribe button.
Just do it. All right, but stuff first. We got to talk about the concerns that most people have when it comes to anal.
A big one is hygiene. We hear a lot of questions like, won't you get poop on whatever is going into the anus? So look, overall, anal sex and anal play are actually a lot cleaner than most people think. But that being said, we gotta be real with you. There definitely is the possibility of coming into contact with traces of fecal matter. So if you're somebody who's just really adamant that sex must be clean, then anal probably is not for you. But for the vast majority of people, it's not as big of a deal as you might think.
Yeah. So in general, you should avoid anal if you've just had an upset stomach or you've had some messy bowel movements recently. Those are just some good practices.
Next question is, does it hurt? So we actually polled our Instagram audience about this, and 85% of people said that they were afraid of anal play and anal sex because they're so worried about the pain. So here's the deal. The rectum is tight, and getting penetrated there can feel unusual or uncomfortable at first, especially if you're brand new to anal. But there are definitely ways to ease into it without the pain. Sex should never be painful. Anal sex should be the exact same way. So there definitely are ways to do it without it being painful.
All right, the next one so many people ask us about. Is it weird for straight guys to like anal play? If they do, what does it really mean? No, it's not Weird, it doesn't mean anything. Liking anal play or anal sex doesn't say anything about your sexuality. All it says is that it feels good when you touch your butt or your butt gets penetrated because it feels good.
You have nerve endings there. We all do.
It means you're human.
Okay, so what's so great about butt stuff? Like, why should you try it? So we want to be clear. We're not here to try to talk you into it or force you to try anal. That's your decision to make. But there are a few compelling reasons. So one is that it feels very exciting. A lot of people tell us, tell us that, like, because anal still feels kind of taboo, it feels kind of like naughty and fun in that way to do it.
It's something that is brand new to explore with your partner. So if you're getting a little bored with your usual routine, you can shake things up with anal. Trying new things. This is a great way to keep things fresh in your relationship. And so if you've never done anal or any kind of anal play, then obviously this is something that will keep.
It fresh and simply, it feels good. Like Xander was mentioning earlier, like, we all have nerve endings in and around our butt, so having stimulation there feels good. It's just a biological reality. And there are even some people who can have orgasms from anal play alone.
All right, so you want to try anal? Next, let us give you our top three tips for a great anal experience. Go slow. Think about going like 10 times slower than you think you need to. I know that might seem way too slow, but you can also always speed it up. Make sure that you use an ample amount of lube. There is really no such thing as too much. If you do put too much in, it'll wear off pretty quickly. Also, do not go straight for penetration. This is the mistake that most people make. And really, you can do so much more just touching, inserting a finger, a small amount. Most of the nerve endings are on the outside anyway, so. So you're going to enjoy it more and you can go slow and get warmed up and decide if you want to do more.
All right. We hope this helped you make a decision about whether or not to try butt stuff or maybe even just got you a little bit curious about it. So if you want to learn more, make sure to check out our new course, butt stuff. It is all about anal play, anal sex. Lots of step by step tips for you. So we will put a link to that in the description box below. That wraps up our video on butt stuff.
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