This content was created by Vanessa Marin. This content was uploaded by Vanessa Marin. This is a YouTube video titled "Spanking 101" created on December 20, 2022, featuring Vanessa Marin and Xander Marin. The video is a conversational guide discussing the topic of spanking in a relationship, providing tips and techniques for safely and enjoyably incorporating it into intimate settings.
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No.
Maybe. Let's start a video. So you want to try a little spanking in the bedroom?
Oh, yes.
But you're just not sure how the heck to actually do it.
Yeah, like, how much pressure do you use? Or where do you spank? When do you spank?
Lots of questions and we are breaking it all down today. We'll talk about all things spanking in this video, but first, we are curious to know, have you tried a little spanking in the bedroom? Let us know in the comments down below.
But before we get started with the spanking, I feel like the polite thing to do would be to introduce ourselves if you're brand new here. So we are Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa here is a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude. We've been together for 15 years, and.
Our account is all about giving you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside and outside of the bedroom. So if you are interested in that, then just go ahead and hit that subscribe button. So first, let's talk a little bit about why spank? So. So if you're not somebody who's ever tried some spanking in the bedroom, you might be wondering, like, what's the fuss all about? So spanking can just be quite simply, like a fun new thing to do. It can also have a lot of different tones to it, so it can feel playful, it can feel very sexy. It can be kind of kinky as well. So there's a lot of different kinds of energies that you can bring in with your spanking. It's also something that's not gendered, so people of any gender, any configuration, can enjoy a little bit of spanking.
All right, so how do we get started with spanking? Spanking? The very first thing we want to talk about is consent. We want to make sure that you and your partner are both on board with this. Like, don't just spring a spank on someone, especially on your partner, because not everybody is going to like it, especially without talking about it.
Okay, so where do we get started? The best place to experiment with spanking is on the butt. So when you're spanking somebody, you don't want to spank bony areas like your elbow. I don't know why you'd be spanking your elbow anyways, but like, shoulders, stuff like that, if there are bones, like very close to the surface, it can hurt a little bit more. And if you're not sure if you like a little pain with your pleasure, then you might not want to start there. But the butt for most of us, there's a little extra meat back there, a little extra padding and cushioning, and it can also feel a little bit kinky to be spanked on the butt too. So in general, it just makes, like, a nice place to start off with.
Now, we always recommend practicing outside of the bedroom first, especially if you feel nervous. And I mean, this is a good tip with almost any new thing that you want to try in the bedroom. Practice, you know, in a non sexual way before, you know, doing it in the bedroom. You can even do a little practice session with your clothes on just to figure out, like, where your hand goes, how much pressure to use, how hard to spank, et cetera.
Okay, so the next thing that you want to do is you really want to kind of hone in on the exact location. So we recommend starting with the butt, like I was saying. But, like, you don't want to hit too close to the crack. You don't want to hit on more on the hip. Like, you want to find your zone. So a really nice, easy, easy way to find the spot is like, use your hand to rub around a little bit so you're like, giving your partner some stimulation. It doesn't feel, like, weird that you're doing this, but you're also, like, really finding, like, okay, yeah, it's right about here.
All right, so what does the spank actually look like? Let's break down the anatomy of a spank, so to speak. So you've, you've found your spot, maybe you've warmed it up a little bit. Do a, you know, a short little wind up and smack. And another tip, cupping your hands can help make that nice smacking sound. I think many of us have had the experience with spanking where, you know, you think you're doing a good spank and it doesn't really make any noise and you're like, oh, God, did I do something wrong? So, yeah, cupping the hand is going to help you get that, you know, that satisfying spanking snack.
Okay, so our tip is also to start off slow and light with your spanking as well. Like, kind of soft. And you can gradually increase the pressure if you guys are liking it. But like, like, don't go in hard with like a big old spank. Like, start softly and let the person who's being spanked determine how hard they like it. So of course you're gonna need to communicate about this. They're gonna let you know. But this is actually one of the benefits that we missed at the very beginning of, like, spanking, the reason to do it is because it feels good. There's some stimulation there. So you want the person who's receiving it to let you know, like, ooh, that's too little pressure. That's too much pressure. This is, like, just right.
All right, so if you are finding that you are enjoying the spanking, one or both of you and you are getting into harder and harder smacks, a big tip is hold your hand on the butt or wherever you're spanking afterward, because that will help relieve the sting of the spank. So, you know, do the spank and instead of removing your hand, just spank and hold.
All right, well, that wraps up our video about Spanking 101.
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