Squirting

Today we are wearing our finest raincoats because we are talking about squirting. It is official. Squirting has become a thing. So as a sex therapist, even up until, like, just a couple of years ago, the only messages that I would get about squirting were about how to stop squirting. Like, vulva owners, women, they were embarrassed that they were squirting. They wanted to stop, stop doing it. But now everybody wants to know how to squirt, how to make their partner squirt. It's really become a whole thing. But do you even know what squirting actually is? Is it something everyone's capable of doing? Should you be trying to have it? That is what we are going to get into in today's video.

Whoa. Where'd those raincoats go? All right. But before we get into all that good stuff, we do want to introduce ourselves. This is Vanessa. I'm Xander Marin. Vanessa's a second sex therapist. I'm a regular dude. We've been together for 14 years now.

And our account is all about giving you the tools, tips, and techniques that you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out. So if you know you are interested in that, then go ahead and hit that subscribe button. So what exactly is squirting and what isn't it? Yeah, a lot of people don't actually know, so let's get right into it and talk about what squirrel squirting is. Quite simply, squirting is the expulsion of fluid out of a vulva owner's urethra. So just like penises are capable of ejaculating vulvas, vaginas are also capable of ejaculating. So squirting may or may not happen, depending on a wide variety of things. What day it is, what positions you're using, what body parts are being stimulated, the specific kind of stimulation, what toys are being used. The most important things to know about squirting, two things. Number one is that it is not urine. There's a lot of confusion about this. The fluid that's being expelled comes from the skene's glands, and it passes through the urethra. So there are tiny traces of urine in it, but it's not urine itself. The other most important thing to know is that squirting and orgasm are two separate things. They are not the same thing. So you can squirt without orgasming. You can orgasm without squirting. They are completely separate. So first, we're going to go through all the potential scenarios. If, like, you're a squirter, not a squirter. Your partner is. Isn't. So let's go over what you need to know.

All right, so let's talk about how to approach squirting as the partner of someone who could potentially maybe be able to squirt. The most important thing is do not put any pressure on your partner to squirt. Pressure is never good, but especially when it comes to squirting. Don't do it.

Yeah. So this is something that's really important to us because we love that squirting is being talked about more openly. More people are curious about it, but we hate that there's so much pressure that's being built up around it. We'll talk about that more in a second, too, but we want to hear from you. Have you ever felt pressured to squirt or have you ever felt, like, really, really into making your partner squirt? So let us know in the comments down below.

One big reason why it's not good to pressure someone to squirt is because it doesn't happen on command. It also doesn't. It doesn't happen for every person. You know, your partner isn't a circus punky.

Yeah. You don't want to.

It's not like, all right, like, squirt, let's do it. That's not how it works. So, you know, it's only. You only want to explore squirting if your partner is genuinely curious to learn how to squirt or they do squirt and they enjoy doing it.

Yeah. So let them take the lead there. If they are interested in squirting, then cool. You can be a supportive partner, but it's not very supportive to, like, tell your partner, okay, I want to make you squirt. Let's figure out how to do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it.

And create all that pressure on them.

Yeah. You know, it's sex in general. The focus should be on pleasure and not, like, the specific way the pleasure happens. Like, oh, the only way I'm gonna feel good is if I see you squirting like that. That's not cool.

Yeah. So if you are a squirter, you already know that you squirt. Let's say you're hooking up with a new partner. It can be a good idea. Like, you may want to tell your partner beforehand that you still squirt just so that they're prepared. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's totally natural. Remember, I used to get all those messages about, like, how do I stop squirting? It's so embarrassing. You don't have anything to be embarrassed of. It's just a, you know, it's an involuntary bodily reaction that you're having. Don't be embarrassed. Just keep the conversation open and light. But it can just be good to, like, give somebody a heads up. Another way that you can prepare is to get waterproof blankets, sex blankets, you know, to use. So one of the challenges that people who do squirt, one of the challenges that they have is that sometimes it can be a lot of liquid, and it can, like, soak through sheets, through bedding, even into the mattress. And sometimes that can be a little bit of a pain, especially if it's, like, late at night. You don't want to have to, like, strip the whole bed. We want to be super careful here. Like, there's nothing shameful about having bodily fluids around. Like, it's so natural and normal. But there can be part of sex. Yeah, sometimes it can be a little bit of an annoyance. Like, I don't want to sleep on the wet mattress, but it's already late at night. So sex blankets, waterproof blankets are such a great way to prevent this from happening. It just makes the cleanup super easy.

All right, so if you are a partner of someone who does squirt, like Vanessa said, please do not shame them for squirting. It is a totally normal thing. They can't stop it. It's an involuntary bodily function. So just try to remind yourself of that. If you're finding yourself having some trouble or like, maybe you're feeling like you want to say something, it's totally involuntary, like, there's nothing that they can do about it. And if you make it a big deal in either a positive or a negative way, you're going to make your partner self conscious and less likely to, like, feel comfortable, you know, in the bedroom having sex with you. And they're probably going to be experiencing less pleasure as a result of that. And is that something that you really want?

And finally, let's get into what I imagine a lot of people. I'm most interested in what to do if you want to learn how to squirt. So the important thing here is that we don't have a ton of research on squirting. If you can imagine, it's a little hard to get research dollars. Yeah. No government funding for this, so we don't really know. Like, are all vulva owners capable of squirting? Are only certain ones capable of squirting. But There are some things that you can do to try to explore it and see if your body is capable of it. And again, make sure you're only doing this if you feel genuinely excited and curious about it, rather than feeling like it's something you're supposed to do or you have to do. So definite key to it is to relax. It can be a strange sensation because it's passing through your urethra. It can feel a little bit like peeing. So you need to get yourself in a good head state. Doing pelvic floor exercises like Kegels can also really help. And you're definitely going to want to focus on the G spot. So to find that G spot, you want to insert a finger. Have your partner insert their fingers and make like a come here motion so they're rubbing against the top of your vaginal canal. The G spot is sort of a misnomer. It's not actually a spot. We have some other videos about this which we will link to in the description box. But that general area, it's actually the interior portion of the clitoris that can be very sensitive, and that can be what leaks, leads to squirting. So you definitely want to explore that. Toys can be really beneficial, especially toys that can do a lot of firm pressure because you want to have, like, firm, tight, high pressure movements going on with it. And finally, don't feel bad if you can't squirt. Like, it definitely takes time to learn how to. Again, we're not sure if all vulva owners are capable of doing it, so please don't let this turn into a source of shame for you.

Yeah.

All right, so that wraps up our video on squirting. Now, one thing that we have noticed is that a lot of vulva owners want to leap right into the squirting part again because there's so much pressure around it these days, and they kind of skip over the whole, like, having an orgasm part. Like we mentioned, they're two separate processes. So we actually have a great guide, it's totally free, called the best way to have your first orgasm. And we will link to the guide in the description box down below. That is definitely the best first step to starting to have orgasms and eventually potentially learning how to squirt.

All right, we really hope you like this video. Video. If you did, please give it a like. Also hit that red button down below to subscribe to our YouTube channel. And while you're at it, you can hit the notification icon too, to get notified as soon as we post more videos.

All right. Thanks for watching.

See you next time.