The #1 Thing Couples Skip After Sex (That Changes Everything) Aftercare

Vanessa and Xander Marin explain sexual aftercare: the routines couples do right after sex to stay connected. Most skip it, but simple things like cuddling, talking, or showering together can transform how you feel and help process intense experiences.
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No, we can't start a video like that. Today we're talking about a little bit of a magic trick. How to make sex last longer without actually lasting longer. And it also happens to be one of the most underrated, underappreciated routines that you can incorporate into your sex life. So it is aftercare. This is what happens after you finish having sex. So before we even get into it, let us know down in the comments. Do you have an aftercare routine? Have you ever even heard the word aftercare? Also, bonus points if you do have a routine and it's detailed so we can all learn from each other.
Well, if you're brand new to our channel, we first just want to say hi. We are Vanessa and Xander Marin. This is one of our pugs, Maggie. The other one, Winston is over here. Vanessa's a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude and we've been together for 14 years.
And our account is all about giving you the tools, tips and techniques you need to create a truly extraordinary relationship inside the bedroom and out. So just go ahead and hit that subscribe button so you get notified whenever we post new videos and you can get working on having that extraordinary sex life.
Today we are talking about aftercare, or how you and your partner check in and support each other right after having sex. So instead of getting up right away so that you can do your own thing, this is a way to actually continue connecting and share intimacy beyond just the sex. And this can be super beneficial for everybody.
Yeah, we found that the vast majority of people just do not have any sort of aftercare routine, which is such a shame because it's really low hanging fruit for like creating more intimacy and connection and prolonging that experience that you just shared together. So, so the first thing that we wanna talk about with aftercare is more of like the cleanup aspect of it, a little bit more of the technical side of aftercare. So the first order of business is cleaning up. Most couples have some amount of cleanup that they need to do after having sex. Just to be clear, like, sex is not a dirty thing that needs to be cleaned up afterwards. But there's usually body fluids that you might wanna wipe off or wash off. Maybe you wanna go pee afterwards. So there is some amount of cleaning up after having sex. But the thing with aftercare is, is this opportunity to view this as a bonding experience. So rather than you guys just like jumping up and kind of going to your separate corners to clean yourselves up, this can be this bonding experience where maybe you clean each other up. Maybe you bring washcloths over together, or you just like continue talking or laughing, or even just like being in each other's presence as you're cleaning up. You could also even take a shower or a bath together. Again, not because sex is dirty and you have to clean, clean it all up. But for a lot of couples, that feels very sweet and intimate. Next, let's talk about the true heart of the aftercare experience, which is really just prolonging your time together, spending a little bit more time together, connecting, enjoying that intimacy, and even deepening that intimacy. So aftercare could be literally as simple as just lingering in bed for a few minutes. So rather than jumping up immediately and going about your day, just taking a little bit of extra time to hang out with each other, it could involve some form of communication. So maybe you're talking to each other about your favorite moments that you just shared, giving your partner a lot of praise, like, I loved when you did that, or I'd love it if you do this next time. It was so much fun. It could also be a bit more physical contact. So even if both of you are feeling satisfied with the sexual contact that you've just had, you can still continue making out, kissing, cuddling, touching each other's bodies. So there can definitely still be like prolonging of the actual physical intimacy as.
Well, or it can be super light hearted, like just grabbing your favorite snack together. It's also an important opportunity to be able to download or process anything that may have felt challenging if that happened when you were having sex, especially if you are experimenting or pushing any boundaries, like outside of your normal comfort zone. And this is actually why aftercare is a very important part of of sex in the kink community, because there can be so many different big emotions and new physical sensations that come with non traditional sex. So it's important to have, you know, kind of a standardized way to process that. So even if you're not having that type of sex, it's important to have aftercare and have the opportunity to talk about anything that felt challenging.
Yeah, I think bottom line here is that there are a lot of different ways to do aftercare, but it can be really nice for you and your partner to develop a little ritual that you do together that feels like skills special and unique and just a way for the two of you to continue feeling connected long after that physical intimacy might be over. So that wraps up our video about aftercare or the best way to make sex last longer.
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Thanks for watching.
See you next time, Sam.
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