The Bachelor's Steamiest Scenes - A SEX Therapist Reviews

Maybe I started videoing. So we have a confession today.

Oh, boy.

It might be our most shocking confession ever. Xander and I are fans of the Bachelor.

Oh, my God.

So a few years back, we started watching it and kind of one of our not so guilty pleasures because we refuse to be guilty about things that bring us pleasure.

It brings us a lot to Talk about on YouTube, on Instagram.

So, yes, we kind of love the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, all the crappy spin offs that they have.

I think I prefer Bachelor in Paradise.

It actually is the best. It's the worst. So it's the best.

Yeah.

So that being said, we also want to fully acknowledge it is not a good show.

Oh, no, it's not.

And it reinforces so many bad, outdated, and just plain wrong stereotypes about love, sex, relationships, gender, people. It's a terrible show. It's also incredibly problematic when it comes to issues of gender and race. So we just want to lay all that out there. We are not saying this is a good show, but it's an entertaining one to watch. Definitely brings up a lot of stuff. So we know that the upcoming season of the Bachelorette is about to launch. So today we're going to switch things up a little bit from what we usually do, and we are going to react to some of the Bachelor's steamiest scenes.

Oh, boy. So before we get started, if you're new here, then, hello. We are Vanessa and Xander Marin. Vanessa's a sex therapist and we've been together for 13 years.

And this is a very weird introduction to our channel. So please hang around and watch another video or two. Stick with it because our account really is all about giving you the tools that you need to create an extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out.

Whether you watch the Bachelor or not.

Exactly. So if you're looking for that little entertainment on the side, just go ahead and hit that subscribe button. It really helps us so much to help our account grow. So let's talk about the Bachelor. The Bachelor does not have a very good history of depicting sex in a realistic or healthy way.

Have you ever been to a fantasy suite? First question, probably not.

It's brought up so many different issues. They've talked about virginity. There's been slut shaming. There's talking about orgasms. So while the depictions are pretty bad, at least it's giving us this opportunity to talk about a lot of these topics.

Oh, yeah.

So we have rounded up some of the Bachelor's most shocking, most shocking ever sex scenes, and we are going to watch them with you and share our reactions.

Can't wait. I'm still a virgin. Okay. And what I'm assuming happens in fantasy suites, I guess I just want to know sort of what the expectations are. Are you saying you were worried about being intimate with Becca?

Okay, so this is a very cringy scene. But I have to acknowledge, first of all, for sure, the producers made him do this. Like, he would never actually ask Chris Harrison for advice on what happens if.

He kind of worded it like, chris Harrison, like, tell me what you are expecting me to do.

Also have to point out that Colton came out of the closet, which we are seeing. Super, super excited for him for way to live your truth, Colton.

Go, Colton.

So I can understand, you know, the nervousness that he might have felt going into this feeling like, I don't want to be having sex with a woman.

Yeah. Sorry, Colton.

I also want to say I'm really glad that they had Colton on this season, and I'm so thankful to him for being honest about being a virgin. I cannot imagine how challenging that must have been for him. I know he got a lot of crap for it, But I'm so glad that he was willing to be that brave and honest about it because the truth is that there are so, so many more later in life versions than most people realize. So people are waiting later and later to have sex these days. I mean, I've, you know, regularly worked with people who were virgins in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, beyond. Even. So I just want to normalize. Like, there are plenty of people who are later in life virgins. It doesn't say anything about you. We're giggling at this scene because it's so awkward and obviously very staged. But we're not giggling about being a later in life virgin because that is totally, totally normal and cool.

Yeah. So be like, colton, Acknowledge what is going on for you. Voice those fears and like, Chris Harrison said, like, talk about what the expectations are. Like, it doesn't have to be a certain way. It's totally fine to talk to your partner, the person that you're thinking about having sex with or before a certain date or a trip or something and just be like, hey, what are. What are. What do we want to do? What are the expectations?

Or just, like, try to message Chris Harrison and ask him what the expectations are.

That always works, too.

Do you want to go back to my hotel, Hang out for a bit? I never want this end. I know. Okay. So I remember watching this when it aired, and I believe that she was the first Bachelorette to ever acknowledge having sex with a contestant, like, openly, especially before the fantasy suite dates. And I remember watching it at the time and just being so excited that she was talking. Talking about it openly and just. I think that she was pretty, like, unashamed about it. She's like, yeah, we had good chemistry. I wanted to explore it. You know, this happened just like you.

Would on a normal date.

I do remember her getting a ton of slut shaming about this, which is obviously ridiculous. We are not ever gonna support anything like that.

Yeah. If we flip the genders in that. If, you know, if he were the Bachelor, would he be getting shamed for that? It would be like, oh, yeah, he went off and had sex with her. Good for him.

Yeah. So that was gross. What do you think about them just recording the door?

The audio.

The audio?

Well, I mean, I'm not surprised.

Camera guy, like, just in the room, continuing to record.

Have you seen. Have you seen the Bachelor?

No, but they usually, like, close the door and then they go away. And they let them have their privacy.

Well, they were behind a closed door. It was just. He was in the suite part of the room, and then they were in the bedroom. So there was a closed door. They maybe were mic'd up or, you know, it's their job to get the.

Shot to make these steamy moments.

Yeah. But I mean, honestly, what happened there is much more realistic. Like, that's like what happens in a real life date. So you've been on a couple dates with someone, you have a really good night, you don't want the fun to end, you go home and have sex. Like, nothing wrong with that. So what would be wrong with it in the context of the Bachelor?

Exactly. This was an earlier season. I don't remember too much about Courtney. I remember she was terrible. I mean, she was set up to be the classic villain. And I think there was a lot of slut shaming of her for this. Like, there were women watching from the shore, like, watching what was going on, getting really upset with her. But I'm kind of like, you know what? Get it, girl. Like, you guys are enjoying each other, having a little fun time in the ocean. That being said, we've got to clear up one thing.

Sex in the water, it's not very easy. It's probably hard. Like, it's hard to get proper lubrication because the water washes the natural lubrication away.

Salt water?

Yeah, salt water. There's probably bacteria. Who knows? Not the best call. Yeah, well, maybe that's why it was only just the tip. We'll see.

And you can't get any leverage either. Like, you can just sort of like pull your. Especially if you're in the ocean.

Yeah. It's not even like they're in a pool where they could be against the wall.

Yeah. So probably not the most fun 20.

Seconds of time, but, hey, also, I assume zero protection because I did not see anyone bring a condom into the ocean.

He's, like, running into the ocean with.

Yeah. And, like, you know, who knows? Who knows what their circumstances are? However, you're on a show with like, 20, 20 other women who are presumably going to be having sex with him too. I would say probably not the safest thing to do.

Bachelor. Let's. Let's see some more discussions of protection. I did hear, I read some sort of, like, behind the scenes thing from a producer that said that they do make sure the fantasy suites are stocked with condoms. So I'm glad they do that. But, like, would be nice to get a little shot of a condom just to normalize. Like, hey, you know, we all need to keep ourselves safe and protect ourselves.

Yeah. I'm actually surprised that Trojan does not sponsor the Bachelor.

Ooh, idea. You're going to sit on his lap. Okay. So I am so glad that the Bachelor never called me up and asked me to help do one of their sexy dates because every single one that I have seen is cringe worthy. I don't know who these people are. I feel so bad for them because probably the producers set everything up.

They're probably actors. They're probably not actually professionals.

Yeah. But these. Some of these dates are really bad. On the one hand, like, I'm glad that they're trying to, you know, incorporate more sexuality and sensuality into the show and, like, help people push their comfort zones a little bit. That it's just so hard to do it in this really overly produced setup where there's cameras around, there's tons of people. Like, maybe if you were one on one in a class with this teacher doing something like this, like, it could be sensual or interesting, but. My heart is gold, but my regime is platinum.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Wow. I forgot about this. It just makes me, like, die inside a little bit.

It was kind of amazing. I mean, she was so ridiculous, so obviously going for the villain role. It was so obviously set up in that way. But, like, for her to have that level of confidence in herself and just be like, you know, owning it, her sexuality, knowing her worth, I love it.

At the Same time. Do you think that perhaps she's just watched a lot of movies and this is, like, what she thinks that men want to hear? Have.

I don't know.

Maybe I don't want to have sex with the platinum vagina.

Also problem with platinum vagine, too. I think what she's really referring to is her vulva.

Yeah.

So let's call it the right thing. Although she could have been talking about vagine, like about penetration.

So who knows? Maybe. Maybe she knew more than we're giving her credit.

Although I do see a little bit more of your point.

It supports my argument, I think.

I do think that she has an.

Idea of what she thinks. Thinks that people want what she thinks men want in particular or what she thinks other women on the Bachelor do not want.

Exactly. So who knows? Corinne's the only one who knows what her motivations are in her own relationship with her sexuality. But I think if she's coming from a place of, like, this feels good. This is what I like doing. This is how I like interacting. Go for her. If she feels like she had to do that to, like, make him interested in her or, like, make good scenes on reality tv, then that's a bummer.

Yeah.

Those dolls are kind of creepy.

After our talk tonight. I feel so good.

Okay, so this wasn't a sex scene, but we had to include it because this definitely goes down as my favorite bachelor kiss moment of all time.

Is it not weird, though, that they look in a window and there's obviously something kind of weird in there? She's like, that's kind of creepy. And then he pins her against the wall and kisses her. Is that not a little weird?

I didn't even. I knew it was coming, so I didn't even pay attention to what she was saying. It's just the pin against the wall. It's so seductive. He's got his hand in her hair. He's obviously like a very just soft and sensual kisser. I mean, I'm into it. I think Ari was the best kisser that this show has ever seen.

I think you might be leaning on his kissing a bit much because it didn't really seem like that hot of a moment. She's like, oh, there's something weird in that window kiss.

I don't care. It was hot. But I need to remind you of two things, okay? One, I've only been with one person, Okay. I just want you.

I do.

Keep that in your mind. I keep that in mind. I've kept that in mind. The second Thing is that my last boyfriend, my ex, that I was intimate with never made me orgasm. Lost for words.

Yeah.

Okay. I love this. I was so freaking happy to see this scene. I think I remember, like, screaming when I saw it, because, first of all, I just appreciate that she was so just open and honest, like, talking about sex with him. Like, she just put everything out there. And she didn't say it in a way where she seemed, like, embarrassed or ashamed. She was just like, hey, just so you know, I want to make sure you know this. So telling him, you know, about her experience and then in particular about orgasm, I thought it was so great that she could just set those expectations, talk about it openly. The only little, like, quibble that I had with this scene is that she talks about, like, my last partner never made me orgasm.

I was going to say that.

Exactly. And so if you have followed any of our orgasm content before, we have a ton of it, but we'll put some links down below. But if you followed any of it, you probably have heard us say that we think it's so important for women to learn how to make themselves orgasm first before they orgasm with a partner. And we don't like to think of it as, like, your partner giving you an orgasm. We like to think that it's each person's responsibility to take ownership of their own orgasm, know what makes their body work, be willing to give their body what it needs, and be willing to, like, communicate their needs to a partner. But ultimately it's you giving yourself an orgasm with your partner.

Yeah. If we. If we perpetuate this idea that it is the partner's job or the man's job to. To make her orgasm, then it just creates this dynamic where men feel like there's a right way, there's a specific way to make someone orgasm. And the reality is every woman's body is different. Every woman requires different type of stimulation, different things. Things. And so when everyone's coming at it from the perspective, like, oh, yeah, I made this one person orgasm, so therefore, I just do the same thing and everything's gonna work, it's generally gonna result in kind of a bad time for everyone. Some of the women have been giving me a hard time about kissing with my eyes open, but eye contact's a really big thing for me.

Oh, these are hard to watch. I don't know. There's something so, like he says in the interview, like, I don't know, I just thought, like, that's how you kiss. And, like, I don't want to shame Anybody for. For kissing or doing anything sex related in a certain way. But there is something really funny about just having your eyes, like, totally open the whole time.

I will say sometimes I just open my eyes for a second when we're kissing and I find Vanessa staring at me. And it's pretty funny. But it's take a peek.

You just take a peek and you close your eyes.

It's an occasional. It's an occasional occurren. But yeah, I mean, it's funny if you think about it. Like, where did we learn that you're supposed to close your eyes when you kiss? I think it's really from movies. And it's probably those teen movies where you go in for the kiss and like, close your eyes like comically early, two feet away.

Yeah, I have had sex and honestly, Jesus still loves me.

I to windmill.

And guess what? We did it a second time. You know what? Get it, Hannah.

Get it, girl.

Yeah. Like, Peter was so hot. They obviously had great chemistry together. So it was really interesting to see her because she's like this southern belle. They present her as, like, being a little bit more traditional and conservative. And so I was really glad to see her just like, go with what she wanted in the moment and be intimate with him and have a great time.

Time.

Sound like they really enjoyed themselves in that windmill. So I'm always glad to see women talking about their sexuality, their desire, openly and honestly not feeling any shame. I love that she put Luke in his place for trying to make her feel bad about it. Like, she had a great time. There's nothing for her to feel ashamed of.

Yeah, because real life is not set up like the Bachelor. It's not like you have all these awkward group dates and then all of a sudden, one random day isn't it after you've met the parents, then you get a fantasy suite and it's like, that's the one acceptable time to have sex. That is not how real life works. So when you're feeling it, you're feeling it. And sometimes you gotta do what you.

Gotta do in a windmill.

So that wraps up our video on the Bachelor's steamiest scenes. If you like this video, please give it a like, hit that red button and subscribe to our YouTube channel and click the notification icon so you keep getting notified once we post new ones.

And we have a free gift for you. If watching all these clips got you kind of excited about maybe trying some new things in the bedroom, exploring a little bit more, you're definitely going to want to check out our free guide all about the 11 sex personality types. So just like we have these, you know, stereotypical types and roles in the Bachelor, we also have 11 sex personality types that we've come up with. So it's kind of like the zodiac of sex. It'll give you a ton of insight into what you're looking for in the bedroom, what your partner is looking for, how your types of fit together. So we'll include a link to that down in the description box below. Thanks so much for watching.

See you next time.