Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist, debunks five myths about female orgasm: that it's more complex than male orgasm, that there's one path to it, that it feels a certain way, that you lose control, and that some women can't have one. She frames orgasm as a learnable skill.
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Do you know the truth about female orgasm? Unfortunately, there is so much misinformation out there when it comes to female orgasm. And of course, the problem with myths is that most people don't realize that they're myths. But if you fall for any of these orgasm myths, you're sabotaging your ability to learn how to have a real orgasm. Hey there. I'm Vanessa Marin. I'm a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex and relationship therapy. I've spent the last 15 years teaching thousands of women how to orgasm and have served as a featured expert for magazines and websites like the New York Times, oh, the Oprah Magazine, Real simple and so many more. Buzzfeed even called me the Orgasm Whisperer. I'm also the creator of the first ever comprehensive online orgasm course for women finishing school. In this video, you are going to learn the top five orgasm myths. We'll also go over the truth behind each myth, plus how you can kickstart your orgasm journey right now. So let's get right to those top five orgasm myths. Orgasm Myth 1 Female orgasm is more complicated than male orgasm. Pretty much every time you see female orgasm in the media, it's accompanied by one of these complicated, mysterious, or difficult, sometimes all of the above. But the truth is that female orgasm is no more complicated, mysterious or difficult than male orgasm. Seriously, women need consistent and pleasurable stimulation of their clitorises, just as men need consistent and pleasurable stimulation of their penises. That is really all that it boils down to. Orgasm myth number two. There's a straight path to orgasm. So most women think that their arousal should go from 0 to 100 in a crystal clear path. But the reality is, for most women, arousal looks like a very jagged but gradually increasing graph. Now, right before orgasm, you also will hit what's called the plateau phase, where your sense of pleasure flatlines before you tip over the edge into an orgasm. Now, this phase can last a while, and a lot of women feel like they get stuck because things feel good, but it doesn't feel like their pleasure is increasing. So a lot of women will give up thinking that things aren't going anywhere, that they're not able to orgasm. But in reality, plateauing is totally normal. You are going to feel like you're at that same level of pleasure for a while. It's just your body preparing for an orgasm. Orgasm myth number you'll know when you've had an orgasm. Now, a lot of women think that their first orgasms will be these massive, explosive affairs. But when you are first Learning how to orgasm. Your orgasms are probably going to feel pretty small. Your first orgasms are not going to feel super satisfying either. A lot of women expect to feel this massive release or this sense of completion after an orgasm. But that rarely happens when you're first learning how to have them. You know the sensation where you feel like you're about to sneeze, but it dies out and you don't actually sneeze? That can be more of what a first orgasm feels like. Now, if you feel any sort of nervousness about what your first orgasm is going to be like, the fact that the first orgasm is probably going to be pretty small is actually great news. It's not going to be this scary, wildly different experience. Orgasm myth number four. You lose control when you orgasm. So most women are really anxious about what's going to happen when they orgasm. They're worried about being totally powerless in the moment and doing something embarrassing as a result. So I want to be perfectly clear that you do not lose complete control when you orgasm. Yes, your muscles might contract a little bit involuntarily, but you're not going to completely lose touch with reality. It's not like you become a different person mid orgasm. Orgasm myth number some women will never be able to orgasm. So many women tell me, I'm afraid that I'm one of those women who will never be able to orgasm. They'll tell me about articles that they read that said 10% of women are incapable of orgasm. But here is what you need to know. There has never been any evidence that those women actually exist. There has never been any evidence that certain women are physically incapable of orgasming. The research that you may have read about was simply based on women reporting that they've never had an orgasm. But not yet having had an orgasm is not the same thing as being physically incapable of having one. Here's the most important thing that I want you to take away from this video. Orgasm is a skill, and like any other skill, it takes time, patience, and practice to learn. A lot of women think that not yet having had an orgasm means that they're broken. But just because you haven't picked up that skill yet doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. For example, I don't know how to ski. Does that mean that I will never learn how to ski? No, it simply means that I haven't yet put in the time, patience, and practice into learning how to ski. I know that orgasms might seem wildly different from skiing, but they're really not. They're both learnable skills. The thousands of women who have had their first orgasms with finishing school are proof. So that wraps up my top five orgasm myths. If you liked this video, please give it a like and leave me a comment down below about which myth has caused you the most grief. Please also subscribe to my YouTube channel for more free resources. And I have a little gift for you. If you're excited about overcoming all of these orgasm myths and jump starting your orgasm journey, you're definitely going to want to download my free guide, the best way to have your first orgasm. I created this guide specifically for women who have never had an orgasm before, so click the link in the description box to download it. Thanks for watching and I'll see you next time.
