The Truth About Losing Attraction

Do you feel like you've lost your attraction to your partner? Listen up, because it might not be what you think. I'm Vanessa. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in sex and intimacy. If you feel like you've lost your attraction to your partner, it's probably feeling really scary because it feels out of your control. Like, what do I do to be attracted to my partner again? But here's the thing. When you've lost attraction to your partner, it's not actually about physical attraction. Like, it's not like you woke up one day and all of a sudden your partner has a completely different face or body. The things that you used to be attracted to, now they no longer look like that anymore. Of course not. That's not what happens. The loss of attraction is actually about the loss of emotional intimacy. You're no longer feeling close or connected to your partner, and your brain is reading that as a lack of attraction. Instead of asking yourself, why am I not attracted to my partner anymore? You ask yourself, what do I need to do to feel close and connected to my partner again? And if that question has you feeling stumped, the best place to look for clues are the beginning of your relationship. What did you say or do in those early days that helped you create that connection to your partner? Those are the things that you need to bring back into your relationship now.