Trying New Things

You've heard the advice to keep it spicy in the bedroom, but do you actually have to do it? Do couples need to be trying new things all the time? I'm a sex therapist, and my perhaps controversial opinion here is yes, you do. Because here's the thing. It is so easy with sex and really with anything in life to fall into a rut where you just keep doing the same things over and over again, even if it isn't particularly exciting. But if you do that, your desire is going to start to decrease and it's probably going to start to feel like you're losing the spark between the two of you. Trying new things in and outside of the bedroom is one of the best things you can do to keep your relationship feeling fresh and exciting. Research has actually shown that our brains light up when we try new things with our partner. But most people totally misunderstand what trying new things in the bedroom means. It does not need to mean that you're trying something brand new every single time you have sex with or pushing yourself wildly out of your comfort zone. It just means mixing up that usual routine a little bit so you can bring back something that you used to do in the dating stages of your relationship but you haven't done in a while that counts as trying something new. Let's be honest now, you're probably not enjoying your usual old routine all that much anyway, so what do you have to lose by mixing it up a little bit?