Vanessa and Xander Marin explain edging: repeatedly bringing yourself close to orgasm then stopping to build sensation and intensity. They cover why people do it, how to start solo to learn your body's signals, and why communication with a partner matters.
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What on earth is edging? Most people do not seem to know what it is. Once I define it for you, though, you're gonna be like, oh, duh, that makes sense. Obviously, edging is the process of getting yourself right to the edge of an orgasm, but then backing off and repeating the process. Process. So pretty straightforward. But before we get into today's video of going into more detail about what edging is, why you might want to do it, and how to do it, we first of all want to know, have you ever maybe accidentally done edging? You didn't realize what it was before, but you have done it? Or if you just straight up love edging and you've done it before? Let us know in the comments down below.
If you're brand new to our channel, we do want to say hi, this is Vanessa. I'm Xander Marin. Vanessa's a sex therapist. I'm a regular dude. We've been together for 14 years. Also, if you can see them, these are our pugs, Maggie and Winston.
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All right, so let's get started. Where is the edge? So let's imagine your pleasure on a 1 to 10 scale, with 10 being orgasm. Now, you've probably noticed that as your pleasure increases at a certain point, you reach an edge, basically where you're going to tip over into orgasm, tip over into that 10. And so what edging is, it's just getting to that almost tipping point, but not quite over the tipping point over and over again.
All right, so what is the goal of doing this if you've never done before? It might sound a little bit torturous. Like, why not just go over the edge there? So the main reason that people practice edging is because it can lead to a more powerful orgasm. You create so much buildup that by the time you finally let yourself go over the edge, it can feel a lot more powerful. I do want to say, though, that that is not always the case. Sometimes you might get yourself to that edge over and over again, and then you finally let yourself orgasm and it's.
Sort of like, why did I do that?
That wasn't really worth it. So we just want to be clear, it's not like a guaranteed, immediate, wild, over the top kind of orgasm. One of the other major reasons why people like edging is as of power play with your partner. So you can kind of play around and say, like, I'm not going to let you orgasm yet. You can sort of torture your partner and see how many times you can get them to the edge, but not let them orgasm. It doesn't always, you know, have to be used in a power dynamic, but that can be a really fun way to play around with it.
Edging also has the added benefit for penis owners of helping you learn to last longer. Because you're basically just training your body to recognize that point of no return. If you don't know what I'm talking about, most penis owners will tell you there's a point where there is no going back. Like, you're not having an orgasm yet, but you reach a point where you know, even if I stop all stimulation, I'm going to have an orgasm in, like, five or ten seconds. And so basically, you're teaching yourself to identify that point. You can get really close to that point, but know, okay, if I don't go any further, I won't tip over. I'll be able to go back and start over again. So, you know, to get good at edging, you need to understand the signals that your body gives when you're getting close to that point.
All right, so you're watching this video, you're like, okay, that sounds kind of interesting. How do we go about trying it? We definitely recommend that you start edging on your own first. Because you have to develop that sensitivity to those signs that you're getting close. And it's just so much easier when you're on your own to get yourself right to that edge, to stop contact immediately. When you need to stop it, get back to the edge. So play around with it on your own first. Then once you feel comfortable with it, you can bring your partner into it. I would say the first few times you try it, it is just gonna require so much communication. Because your partner can't read your mind. They're not in your body, so they're really gonna rely on you to communicate exactly when you need them to stop. And to, like, give them signals leading up to it too. Like, we're getting close, we're getting close. Okay, now I need you to stop so that way your partner actually can stop. So it's a lot of verbal communication. For some people. Honestly, it's not really gonna feel worth it. Cause there's just so much communication that's required. But it can be a really fun way to, you know, experiment with your partner, try something new. So you'll need to master it a few times first and then if you want to bring in any aspects of power, play into it. Of like denying each other, taunting each other. Like, you got to get it really locked in first before you do that. Now, if you're a woman and you've never had an orgasm, you might be kind of curious to try edging. But like, I don't even know how that all works. We are going to put a link in the description box to our course Finishing School. It is a very comprehensive step by step course that teaches you exactly how to orgasm. So that's your first step and then you can move on to edging after that. Alright, so that wraps up our quick and easy video about edging. No edging here. We just got right to the point, right?
We're past the point of no return now, babe. All right, if you enjoy this video, please give it a like. You can also subscribe to our YouTube channel and then hit the notification icon so you keep getting notified as soon as we post more videos.
