What To Do If You See Weaponized Incompetence In Your Relationship

What do you do if weaponized incompetence is showing up in your relationship? I'm Vanessa. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in sex therapy. First, let me tell you what not to do, and that is to use the phrase, fine, I'll just do it myself. This allows your partner's weaponized incompetence to continue. It puts all the responsibility on your shoulders and it's a one way ticket to feeling resentful. Instead, what you and your partner need to do is make a list of all of the responsibilities and chores and figure out how to divide them up in a way that feels fair and balanced in your relationship. Now, this may involve some training of your partner to do the tasks that they haven't done before, and I want to acknowledge this is unfair mental load that's going to be put on your shoulders, but hopefully it's only temporarily. It also is going to involve you stepping back and letting your partner not be so good at the tasks that they've never really done before. If you want to know more, because I acknowledge this is a tricky thing to work through, but the good news is that we have a great podcast episode for you. It's episode 35 of the Pillow Talks podcast episode and we'll walk you through more steps for exactly what to do.