Why does my partner flinch every time I go to touch her?

Name: Why does my partner flinch every time I go to touch her?
Uploaded: 2024-05-04T10:15:01+00:00
Duration: 55 s
Channel: Vanessa Marin
Description: Xander Marin calls it the "bristle reaction" when your partner flinches at your touch. She's learned to expect sex from it, so she tenses up. The fix…

4 May 2024 · 1 min

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0:55

Xander Marin calls it the "bristle reaction" when your partner flinches at your touch. She's learned to expect sex from it, so she tenses up. The fix: talk about it and give her more touch with zero sexual intent, just for her sake.

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Wondering why your partner flinches every time you touch her. So my wife is a sex therapist and this is what we call the bristle reaction. Maybe you try to go in for a hug, a caress on the back, a little kiss, but you just feel her body tense up and it's like she doesn't want you anywhere near her. I've been there too, and it feels really crappy. So I want to help you understand what might be happening. I'm going to be straight with you. It is because she probably feels like the only times you touch her are when you want sex. So you've essentially trained her to be on guard when you try to touch her. Trained her to pull away if she's not in the mood when you go to touch her, trained her to believe that your touch has a motive. Train her to think that you're touching her for your sake and not for hers. So you want her to stop flinching, right? You two are going to need to talk about this. But the solution is to add more non sexual touch into your relationship. You need to give her experiences of touching her for her sake and expecting nothing in return. Want to learn more about this? Check out the caption.