Why We Don’t Follow The “Never Go To Bed Angry” Rule

Never Go to Bed Angry get ready with me while I, a licensed couples therapist, tell you why my husband and I never follow this rule. Hey, my name is Vanessa. Go ahead and tap that follow button for more tips and tricks for having a healthy relationship. It's funny that this advice is so popular because I think we've all had experiences of having a fight when we were tired and wanting to go to sleep and having it go extremely poorly. We when you are tired, you just can't figure out what you want to say, how to say it. Any feelings that you might be having might feel intensified, and you're just so much more likely to say things that you don't mean and wind up hurting each other's feelings. Oftentimes what you'll find is that if you get a good night of sleep and come back to it in the morning, your feelings have changed. You might not even be upset about the thing you were upset about. Or at the very least, you you have a better idea of what you want to say, how you want to say it, and a better ability to stay calm and collected and actually have a genuinely productive conversation. The only thing that I agree with is not avoiding conflicts. Like the idea here is not that you go to sleep and then you never wind up talking about it ever again. Like, we do need to learn how to process conflict in healthy ways. We do need to have these important conversations with our partner. But these these kinds of conversations are hard enough as it is, so why make them harder by also being sleep deprived and cranky at the same time? Bottom line, going to bed angry is definitely not going to harm your relationship. If anything, it's actually going to help.