Leading with Inner Values and Authenticity with Adam Kessel

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Hello, rock stars. Today's episode was with Adam Kessel. He's a physical therapist and co founder of Cloudline Physical therapy in Pennsylvania. I met Adam and his partner Brian years ago when they were opening their first location. Now they have multiple and they're taking over the world. Adam has taught me more about self, love, leadership than any other person I've worked with. It's been my great privilege to coach with him as he's expanded with his partner across the state of Pennsylvania. And today we're going to learn about how to evolve as leaders by understanding how to define our success. It's not just the success that we define in terms of goals, but it's the why. We're going to learn about the motivations that drive us as leaders and entrepreneurs and how when we are misaligned in that space that we create suffering for ourselves. So if you're in any kind of pain today, rockstar, if you're in suffering and on any level as a leader, I want you to pay very close attention to this masterclass of self leadership. It's my privilege to introduce Adam Kessel. Adam Kessel, how do you define success, my man?

I define success at this juncture of my life as finding deeper and deeper levels of peace in my life. I think initially I, like a lot of people, define success via what other people said, my parents, society, what we should do in school, what people were doing in the rest of the business. And the more I've learned and grown, I've realized that success to me is finding a deeper level of peace and alignment. And in terms of where I'm going in my life, how I'm affecting the world, how I'm affecting other people. And as I've become more successful, I realize it's because I'm connecting to those deeper parts of me and therefore I can bring that to others. And that provides me a lot of peace.

I love that because it's so true. Growing up I connected with that idea of like when we start growing up, success is defined by our environment. We have people who give us expectations, you know, reward us with candy when we do really well. And so that carries over into adulthood. And especially if you're starting a business or you're a leader in a company, it becomes this like drive to want to gain value and self worth. And I know, Adam, for me, I, I personally early on defined my self worth based on how big my company was or how well I was doing. And that's how I define success. And that's so important. For today's episode, because we're going to be talking about how self worth is one of the quintessential leadership aspects of personal development and how that actually is necessary for evolution. We're drawing that connection between self worth and evolution. So let's start with self worth. How is self worth? How does that show up in your world as a key leadership concept? Talk to me a little bit more about that.

I think as I, as I reflect on my own development in that specific area, I think it's actually presented itself via my failures or via the ways in which I was acting out of integrity. It's sort of the awareness or the anxiety or the, the lack of connection, alignment, whatever word you want to use for it became apparent almost as a mirror to ways in which I was deviating from my truth and know, getting more into the spiritual realm, sort of trying to fill that spirit sized hole with what other people said or what I perceived other people to be valuable. And so I think that that whole is never ending. Number one, that sort of shined a light internally onto me so that I could connect to the parts of me that are more true, are more creative, are more specific to who I am. And the more I actually connected to that in, in my own being, the more I've learned to, you know, have forgiveness, learn to grow in a way that is, is not based on others, but based on what I want to give to the world. And the more in which I've touched that, the more I've been able to see my own value which has made me a better leader. Because if I feel not in an ego, egotistical way, but if I feel more comfortable, confident and inspired, then I'm able to bring those positive qualities to my team, to my, to my life. And so I think really it's actually more my failures that have led me to that insight more than any success externally.

Yeah, and it's so amazing because the difference between confidence and in a leader, in arrogance is the difference of who we're comparing ourselves to. Right? Like we have confidence develop from a place of comparing my actions, from my previous actions, am I progressing as an individual, whereas arrogance is I am comparing me against others. And so when we talk about a confident leader who knows what they're worth, who's able to create value, this idea of looking to our mistakes backwards and seeing what we have failed and learned and then comparing where we've grown from and seeing that gap is what develops confidence. And you've done studies on this, right, to really define how to develop confidence in a way that is really a self guided journey, comparing only to our past actions. So rock stars, as you're listening to this, the questions I have for you as we're talking to Adam is how do you define success? Rock stars, are you currently living your life in a way to where success is being defined by praise from others? Are you looking to avoid pain? Are you looking to shun opportunity because of fear of failure because of what that would mean to others? Or are you defining success based on personal alignment like Adam says, Are you basing it on peace? Because at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what we do if we aren't able to tap into our inner purpose and serve other people. So Adam, you talk a lot about the concept of self worth in a way of learning from your past mistakes. So how does that play into evolving as a leader? Tell me a little bit more about that.

The first thing that comes to mind is the adage of, you know, comparison is the thief of all joy. And so you know you're on not on the right track when your worth is not bringing you joy, whatever you perceive to be your worth. And so comparison for me can be external. It could be compared to other stories, it could be compared to other people's expectations, or it could be compared to an expectation of what I should be or who I used to be or where I expected myself to be at this point. And that process in and of itself is not very pleasant. I think anyone could like feel that just doesn't feel good inside. And so I think connecting to the sense of joy and peace as a guiding principle or almost as a compass is the sign that you're on the right track. It's like intuition doesn't have a trigger. And if you don't feel supported positive in your growth, then you'll typically have a trigger. It'll typically bring up some type of negative emotion or negative story. And so my journey in terms of evolution I think has been looking for that beacon in terms of the piece we described as a, as a, as a sign that I'm making decisions that are more in alignment with who I am and where I'm supposed to be going, knowing that I'll fail and I will learn, but coming from a state of self compassion and knowing that I have that internal compass to guide me no matter where, no matter what storm comes, as long as I have that compass, then I can keep orienting towards that piece.

Yeah, so it's a lot less about needing something down the road and more about listening to the here and now. Is that what you're saying?

When I've felt the most stress, the most out of alignment in my life, whether it be personally, professionally, it's come with a state of anxiety or just a feeling like something's not quite right. In order to reorient, you need to have awareness in terms of what you're currently going through, what you're currently experiencing. And so, yeah, I think being present for what is, whatever it is, whether it's that state of misalignment or whether it's that calm inner guidance, I think the first step is being present. And there's this meditative technique that I've come to learn. It's called rain, recognize, acknowledge, investigate. And then I think N is nurture or nourish. And so first you have to be able to be with what is. And that's the main, the main trick. And that's what I've really tried to come back to when I feel I'm getting off course, whether it's right now or in the direction I'm going. And so I've tried to use that as a, is a guide for me.

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Now.

I think asking yourself, why are you setting the goal to avoid being with what is now? Are you setting the goal in order to serve some greater value in your life, whether it's, you know, I want to grow the business x percent well, why I want to have this amount of money. Well, why I want to have this amount of clinics? Why is it in service of something that's deeper than the goal itself as the guide? I think when the goal becomes the object, that's when we're inherently left suffering. I think if it's connected to a greater purpose in your life, whatever that may be, maybe that's to have more money for whatever reason, you know, you want to have a certain lifestyle or to give your family a certain experience or to give back and to be able to donate X amount of money. It doesn't really actually. In my experience, it doesn't actually matter what the goal is, but it's the why behind it. And when the why is. Is hollow, then, you know, and I think. And then that's when that intuition component comes in, it'll just not feel fulfilling. And I think we've. I mean, that's the hook of. In my experience, that's the hook of life is looking towards the next thing in order to not have to be with the now. Because oftentimes the now can be hard to be with. You know, even if it's. Even if it's really pleasant, sometimes that level of intensity can be challenging to sit with. And then obviously, when things are hard and challenging, that also can be very hard to sit with. So I think if you can connect the why and make sure that's pure in your heart, in your soul, and your spirit, then the goals sort of just unfold. And when they're not, then you'll feel.

That, yeah, that was a perfect quote. I hope everyone wrote that down or gets it tattooed on their back. Because having that idea of the why behind the future goal is what defines.

Our personal alignment to it. The success that we'll actually experience is everything. For example, Jim Carrey. I just watched this last night. Jim Carrey, very successful comedian. He's taken a very spiritual journey in the later end of his career, and he was talking to these groups of individuals, and he said, you know, I needed to become this character called Jim Carrey, who was incredibly successful, who accomplished all sorts of things in the entertainment industry, made lots of money, only to realize that none of those things can fulfill you. None of those things can fulfill you. And for me, I remember once, I was praying once on the way into work, and I was just kind of in this mindset. And what I used to do when I drive into my physical therapy practice, Adam, is I used to fantasize about what would happen if I won a million dollars. Because to me, that was literally like, if. I mean, you know, now I laugh, but like, a million dollars back then was like everything. If I had a million dollars, I could get rid of my debt, all my pain would go away. I could vacation, I could live and be who I'm supposed to be. And I'll never forget this. I was driving in. It was a peaceful Morning sun was rising over the mountains in Florence, Arizona. And as I was driving in, I had this distinct thought come to my mind that money isn't the savior I should be searching for. And I don't mean this in any particular spiritual context necessarily. It does for me. But for other people, what is the thing that will save us is the fact that I was driving in and watching a beautiful sunset and that I was alive and that my kids were healthy. I had problems, no question. That's why I was fantasizing about winning the lottery. But at the end of the day, what you're saying right there is everything. Why do we want those things? Rock stars. Think about your future rock stars. I want you to put in your mind, what is that thing you're chasing? Why are you chasing it? Are you chasing it to satisfy some sort of expectation from a spouse, your siblings or parents? Is. Even if they're gone, maybe those expectations are baked in in such a way that you don't even know that they're running you.

Why do you want to do the thing that you're doing and really question yourself and ask yourself, what do you want to do? What do you want? Why did you want to become a healthcare provider in the first place? Was it because you were trying to satisfy something else? Probably not. Most people don't go into healthcare to become rich. It's because they want to make a difference. So what's the difference you want to make in the world? And then how aligned are you in the thing that you're doing now that can align to your purpose? So, Adam, this has been a masterclass on self worth and evolution. I want to throw this back to you for one final question. What is the end game for evolution in your mind? Is it definable? And if it is, what is that defined by?

I think the idea that you ever get to the top of the mountain in and of itself is the hook. And if that's the goal, then you're inherently setting yourself up for failure. We all do it. Everyone is human. We all have the things we look forward towards. But that is part of the challenge. And so being with whatever stage you're at in a way that you're calm, equanimous, and aligned, I think that is evolution, and there is no end point to that. And that's my personal belief.

Well, there's nothing else we can say on that. The one thing that does have an end is this episode, which is now coming to an end. So, Adam, how do people get a hold of you? What's your call to action.

Yeah, I would love if anyone is interested in these topics or is looking to be part of a community that's trying to grow in this way, whether it be via their business or their relationships and the rest of their life. I'm always looking to have conversations with people that are like minded and interested in these topics. So you could reach out to us@cloudlinept.com my personal email is adamloudlinept.com and I'd love to talk to you no matter where you're at what stage and always looking for people to connect with.

Adam, thank you so much for being on this show.

Thank you all. It's a pleasure.

Rockstars remember all the things that Adam taught us. The importance of staying present, understanding what we define success by understanding what's driving us for future growth, and recognizing that nothing's more valuable than the here and now. So thank you Rockstars for being with us here and now. Until next time, thank you for listening Rockstars. And if you're one of the many medical professionals and leaders who have had it dealing with the drama of hiring and training people that you think are overpriced, then let's think about how virtual assistants can offload you to do what you love, which is changing people's lives. In the show notes, there's a link to jump on our calendar so that we can show you why LinkedIn shows that virtual assistance is the second fastest growing trend in healthcare next to artificial intelligence at no obligation. We'll see if this is a fit for you. I hope to talk to you soon.